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Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: Urghh! Can’t Stand That



At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious, the first thing I feel like typing this morning is “It’s Monday AGAIN?” I mean, I’m grateful to be alive and well but why does the weekend fly by so FAST? Is there any reason why it always feels like those two days are on steroids? Anyway, it feels good to be back at work! Unlike my usually lazy weekends, this one was kind of busy!
I woke up on Saturday morning to the news on Twitter that one of my close friends had been picked up by the police. His offence? He went for an evening drink in a pub beer parlour around his angwa area!
Anyway, the gist about the entire injustice and indiscriminate arrest of people as they go to hang out in a local bar is not the topic of today’s post. As we sat outside the task force office, waiting for the not-so-almighty police officer to allow us access to the not-so-hallowed office where our loved ones had been forcefully/wrongfully incarcerated, some enterprising women came bearing goods. People were milling around, some sat on the grass, resting under the tree that provided shade from the hot sun. And as they sat there complaining about the government and the injustice of our situation, they unwrapped packs of gala, and took large gulps from soda bottles. With each wrap of gala that fell on the well ‘groomed’ lawn of Alausa, I cringed. I CANNOT STAND PEOPLE TOSSING TRASH ANYWHERE OUTSIDE OF A LITTER BIN!

The guy beside me saw my reaction and he laughed when I told him that seeing litter on the floor makes me uncomfortable. He couldn’t understand it. He said “Where do you want them to throw it now?” Then in attempting to make me feel better he said “Don’t worry, I know how you feel! I can’t stand when people spit indiscriminately up and down the place” We ended up sharing pet peeves! My top 5 are; Hanging of wet towels on doors… any type of door! Not shutting doors, Not replacing toilet paper when it runs out, Noisy eating/biting of your cutlery and Dipping of bread inside your beverage (URRRGGH!!)

Some people can’t stand seeing dirty plates in the sink and for some it’s not laying the bed immediately you get up from it.

It was a fun morning exchanging the things that get us slightly irritated and it was a good way to pass time without having to think of the reality of what really got us there in the first place.

What are your pet peeves? What is that thing you absolutely cannot stand and makes your skin crawl? What pet peeves do you think are completely irrational? Because to each his own really! Also, how do you deal with other people’s idiosyncrasies.

Anyway, have a great week ahead. Keep a smile on your face and find that one reason to remain positive.

Love, peace and cupcakes!


You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website for more information.


  1. hey

    November 26, 2012 at 10:30 am

    people who eat with their mouth open …. gets on my tits

    • ejiro

      November 26, 2012 at 10:44 am

      lmaooooooo!!! And they make all the excuses for why they do!

      Well, that bread in tea thing is gross. So is not washing skid marks after taking a poo.

    • Lani

      November 26, 2012 at 12:04 pm

      Lol @ skid marks. How about not flushing the toilet? I live in London and I used to think people don’t flush in Nigeria because there’s no water. So i don’t understand. My dad used to tell me the quickest way to know a dirty woman is by the way she keeps her kitchen and toilet. But i digress.

    • Miss Tm

      November 26, 2012 at 12:38 pm

      Bless you lani….. Its not only Naija ooo. I have these beautiful greek and Norweigan housemate and this skid marks got me pissed off this morning.I dont get it.How hard can it be to ensure noone sees your poo?

  2. Scarlet Xianne

    November 26, 2012 at 11:05 am

    I have plenty. To name a few- nose-picking, crotch/armpits scratching, belching, bushy armpits………….just don’t let me see it.
    Probably all irrational, but I get easily irritated, so……..

  3. j

    November 26, 2012 at 11:09 am

    loud breathing- I’d rather you fall asleep and snore than just be awake and breathe so damn loud, loud eating invariably with open mouth- it’s like watching a train wreck, just making noises with mouth teeth in general, spitting indiscriminately, getting water all over the bathroom or kitchen sink

    • Uche

      November 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm

      loud breathing could be as a result of shortness of breath. it is a medical condition Madam

  4. Dammie

    November 26, 2012 at 11:15 am

    Hmmm I have serious O.C.D o( obsessive compulsive disorder) and it ranges from evrytin 2 anytin for instance I go visiting a frnd n d house or room smells funky or stuffy,be very sure I wld go along with all kinds of air-freshner and offer dat frnd 1 bt if they refuse,I wld “mistakenly 4get it in their house” or if I come 2 ur house and u hve dirty dishes in the sink,I wld stylishly get sumtin 2 eat or drink and up end cleaning d whole kitchen bt wen I realised 2 frnds of mine were exploiting me with that wen I go visiting,I jst dnt go near d kitchen or mke an excuse and leave if I can’t get over d urge 2 clean….I guess I owe all dis behaviour 2 my mom tho cos she really instilled d home-maker life in2 me whilst growing up.

  5. Tee

    November 26, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Wen a guy is walking and den decides to pack……urrrrrgh.By pack,i min lift his “mansumfin”wiv his hand.Is it rily dat heavy?Also,wen a guy randomly decides it”s alrite to jst stop by d road side and strt easing himself in full glare of everyone.Guys dat du this shld learn to du dre business sum place else abeg……it ll make Nigeria a better place….lolll!

    • Scarlet Xianne

      November 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm

      Urrrgh……….that peeing by the roadside thing that guys do ehn, it drives me crazy. Like seriously, words can not describe how that irritates me.

    • Purpleicious Babe

      November 26, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      looooooooooooooool….. pack his masumfin..

      tooo funny

  6. Gimmer

    November 26, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Loud coworkers get on my veins….especially whn you know the person is very capable of whispering but they oly scream at t top of their lungs cos the big execs can hear that they are moving and shaking things….bleh..shut your damn office door or r bing it own a notch

    • Nonnie

      November 26, 2012 at 3:32 pm

      LOL!!!!!!!!!! I can totally relate with this. I have such annoying fellows as colleagues in my work place.

  7. Ohgey

    November 26, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Ppl who spit indiscriminately, like d guy in ur write-up hates, and seeing guys ‘pack’ or scratch themselves down there. Also really hate it when the living space is scattered, and the scatterer refuses to pick up after him or herself .

  8. TEE

    November 26, 2012 at 11:35 am

    Wow!!!! You get better every week Atoke, thanks

    Mine is when people pee on the road side, when someone leaves the toilet without flushing proper and washing hands, eating loudly, playing loud music on the bus, chewing loudly…….arrrgggg

    Wish our schools could teach proper manners in schools…..praying for Nigeria

  9. nems

    November 26, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Dunking bread in any beverage makes me want to throw up, it gets soo squidgy, oh and seeing people clear their throat and spit, how gross is that?!?!

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      November 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

      @ nems & Atoke, is it just because it’s tea/hot chocolate and the bread turns a murky brown? Because in some countries people dunk bread in soup (i.e. tomato, lentil, chicken, pea, etc) at proper dinner tables and no-one considers that to be bad table manners…. maybe a bit common, but so is eating with a fork only and not the full complement (i.e. fork + knife). I suppose at the heart of things, we’re all a little bit common in our eating habits 🙂

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      November 26, 2012 at 3:01 pm

      Oh and forgot to say as well, “dunking biscuits” are sold in a lot of UK supermarkets, biscuits created for the specific purpose of dunking in hot beverages. So the culture of dunking bread just might be a hold-over from our colonial masters…

  10. adenike

    November 26, 2012 at 11:37 am

    I’m a very finicky person. In fact my fiance jokingly told me some months back that he thinks I’ve got OCD. An unmade bed pisses me the hell off, dropping a wet towel on an unmade/busy looking bed, talking with your mouth full, dirty plates in a sink, a dirty sink, throwing stuff on the floor indiscriminately, belching loudly….. Please let me stop here. How do I deal with such? Well, I help in tidying them up – if i can. As regards belching loudly, I just give you ‘the look’. Shikena!

  11. Yeni

    November 26, 2012 at 11:52 am

    People who spit all over the place and when people touch me as they talk to me, like really. There’s nothing like personal space in Nigeria

  12. purplepearl

    November 26, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Urgghhh huge turn-off when people clear their throat afta brushing (the one with the loud sound), when people cut their nails n spit it out. This two gets to me

  13. Lani

    November 26, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    I have so many. Sometimes I think I have a problem. Like I should be more tolerant. I hate the sound of dripping taps (I can hear this a mile away sef. Turn it off!), spitting on the floor (put your sputum and phlegm in a tissue for God’s sake). I cannot stand people sitting on my bed. Its my bed! No, no, put your arse on a chair thank you very much. Not placing my things back to where you picked them from. I always know when people enter my room in my absence, no matter how much they try to cover up their tracks. My friends call me Bree because of the last two. I can go on and on but I am shy.

  14. ruth

    November 26, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    guys who stop @ any corner and on any wall 2 pee. ppl who sit directly on d bed or esp on my pillow wit no undies.yuck,soo very irritaing.

  15. ij

    November 26, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    i absolutely hate people with cigarette /coffee breath and they always have something to say and guess what? their words always begin with H, just so you dont miss any of that marvelous nicotine/caffeine breath and i know it might be due to illness but loud breathing really is another one that annoys me likewise snoring and when will people learn that its really not cool to spit everywhere as in there is just no excuse .

  16. hauwa

    November 26, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    guests who visit ur home on a normal day and ask to take away d drinks n food u offered them … when its not a party!!!! Aaaargh!

  17. Thatgidigirl

    November 26, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    Can’t stand ladies that smack their nasty weaves continuosly like they’re trying to squash the creepy crawlies in it. Long fingernails on men, and ppl that scratch their hair,skin,nose then inspect the condiments or roll it between their fingers before flicking it in the air.

    • immathrowup

      November 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      ewww u got me on that, thats the grossest thing in this world!!!!!….hw abt pple who pick their nose and do the same too ewwwww ewwww ewwwwwwwwwwwww…….

    • Jiddah

      November 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm

      Long finger nails gross me out too. What do you need the nails for?

    • Tiki

      November 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

      lol, you have the yuckiest by far! plus, how come smacking your had lik that doesn’t provoke a headache?

  18. Chattyzee

    November 26, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    I hate it when people eat and I can hear the sound of their chewing …ewwww.. it just unnerves me. Chew silently!

    • Molurlah

      November 26, 2012 at 6:16 pm

      I agree with you. That habit is very annoying…..or chewing with ur mouth open. That habit is like a magic trick to me. How can u chew and yet by some miracle I get to see the first digestive process take place in ur mouth

  19. PLUSH & LUSH

    November 26, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Loud phone calls,BB and BO (bad breath and body odour), improperly washed drinking glasses and plates, oily kitchen surfaces, dirty car interiors, smelly hair and hair nets, girls who store their dirty panties to be washed on a general laundry day with their regular clothes, guys who can wear a pair of boxers forever and ever until the underside is ‘it-used-to-be-white’ and caked with all their yucky goo and sme unlucky girlfriend being asked to wash them after she has complained about him wearing it everyday for at least three months, wiping off your runny nose with your palm after blowing it and wanting to shake someone immediately after, sneezing without covering your mouth…God should I continue? The list is endless, and yes I know I have a problem.

  20. zayt

    November 26, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    [email protected] totally agree with you, especially on d long fingernails and inspecting and rolling condiments before flicking it. lwkmd!!!!! also cant stand visitors that come to the house with their mannerless children. i always give them the evil eye :/

  21. a ipade

    November 26, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    I detest guys peeing by the roadside,it gets me nauseated.

  22. Motun

    November 26, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    I hate it when people have whitish left over saliva at the corner of their mouth after engaging in serious talk (that’s what i think causes it anyway). Yuck.

  23. toceen

    November 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    The one I absolutely hate, is the ‘fanks’ and to crown it, they write ‘fank u God’. And am thinking that its God. Haba make an effort!!!!

    • Nonnie

      November 26, 2012 at 3:45 pm

      Hah! I thought it was just me… why spell ‘But’ as “BUH”, ‘Was’ as “WUX”…..arrrrgh!! even “pic” in place of “picture” turns me off!! I also hate it when a person(especially a guy) chats with loads of errors both grammatical and spelling, under the disguise of typing too fast.. its a big turn off abeg

    • Babs

      November 26, 2012 at 8:31 pm

      I can live with ‘fanks’ but not with ‘am’….whatever happened to plain old I’m ?!!!

  24. Jiddah

    November 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    People who dont respect personal space, serioulsy! if you stand some steps away i’ll still hear. Peeing by the roadside,wet toilet door knobs, wet bathroom slippers………

  25. nems

    November 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Reading all these comments of people pet peeves is giving me the hebejebes and i wanna throw up.

  26. haters anonymous

    November 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    I hate sitting in another persons body heat. Like you know when someone has has somewhere and the seat is still warm? I WILL NOT SIT THERE! I will actually stand till it is cold again. I don’t know why this is but it is.
    People who CANNOT whisper! Ahnahn, go and practice or something. We r in a lecture or library and everybody is looking at us because you cannot whisper… this is something we all learn in our childhood so when people were learning, what were you doing?
    I hate ie when you come to my house and cook with my NON STICK POT with a Fork or Knife and then SCRATCH the f*&#%^@g pot! Like whyyyyyyyyyyy!
    I hate seeing orange peels or any fruit peels on the floor.
    I hate it when people make the weird grunting noise with their nose and mouth and then spit or spitting in general… EW!
    body odor definitely. I also hate paper bags for example primark’s shopping bags are the absolute worst. I HATE CREASED clothes & Lint! Before I go on and on, I will stop here. Thanks.

    • haters anonymous

      November 26, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      has Sat**
      hate It**

    • Purpleicious Babe

      November 26, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      am finished with laughter.. u have no clue….

    • haters anonymous

      November 26, 2012 at 2:39 pm

      Oh P.S I also hate it when people rest on me… I like my personal space so don’t rest your leg on mine or hand on my shoulder or put your face in the nook of my neck and read over my shoulder HATE it!

    • pd

      November 26, 2012 at 4:29 pm

      I can’t stand it too! Even with my boyfriend! If you want to sleep ,sleep ! ! Don’t do the cuddling or trying to hold on to me! I want my space! Finish

  27. tomeloma

    November 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Lets see…things ticks me off: Belching, plates in the sink, not flushing the tiolet or like someone said leaving skid marks, men easing themselves on road side/public areas, these are a few of my unfavorite things

    • Purpleicious Babe

      November 26, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      cant believe I forgot to include skid marks……. HATES WITH capital letter P….
      #hain dont pple feel weird when others see stuff that they just messed up…

  28. femi

    November 26, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    mimi November 26, 2012 at 2:54 PM
    people who remove their shoes when they sit and have to struggle to wear them when standing up! or worse – they just walk bare foot!
    Buying food in black nylon???
    chewing iceblock..

  29. Purpleicious Babe

    November 26, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Mine are plenty so top five.
    1)eating loud with your mouth open ewwwwwwwwww and double digusting.
    2)Smacking your tongue or mouth whilst sleeping… ewwwwwww hate it.
    3)biting of the nails nah….. not cool.
    4)Leaving the food package and not bothering to chuck it in the bin or just chuck it on the floor.
    5)Chucking a perfectly edible dinner away… I HATE IT WITH A FLIPPING PASSION…i.

  30. ant

    November 26, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Men with long nails on only their little finger( what the f*@# do you need one long fingernail for?), those smacking noises people make with their teeth after eating (please go floss instead!), sitting on the bed in your outing clothes, wiping your hands on your jeans or on the sofa after eating and licking your fingers (how much energy does it take to get up and wash your hands? Licking does not replace hand washing!), messy stoves and kitchen countertops, dirty plates in the sink. Ok, I rest my case but I am so happy to see there are plenty of ‘us’ .

  31. Mz Socially Awkward...

    November 26, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    People I work with coming to speak to me about work or attempting to generally gist with me during my lunch break. Did my plate of steaming hot jollof rice and the pissed-off look on my face not give away the fact that I’M ON A BREAK FROM ALL THINGS CONCERNING WORK?? INCLUDING YOU????

    Also, I absolutely detest the use of text speak in any form of communication (people, there’s a reason you have a keyboard on phones, computers, tablets, etc) and the new trend of hash-tagging. When did they become the new cool? I blame Twitter…

  32. Mz Socially Awkward...

    November 26, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Oh and also? People who meet you in one place and then pretend they don’t know you when you meet them somewhere else. What the hell are you, a 10year old? Or my oyibo colleagues who don’t sometimes choose to not answer my “Good morning” even though they heard me perfectly well. The lingering chilly look I send them is usually response enough to such stupidity.

    Evidently, my interrupted lunch break still continues but I’ll close on this last one – Nigerians who call you during office hours and seem to not get how the 9am-5pm arrangement works. When you call them back later, you get “ah, ah but I was calling you earlier on, didn’t you see the phone ringing?”… There’s just no explaining to some people.

    • Anon

      November 26, 2012 at 7:59 pm

      I want to hug you for that last bit!!!,
      I work a 9-5 gaddamit, how hard can it be for some folks to give u space during work hours????? Silly calls be coming in whilst i’m with mgt, argghhh!

    • Babs

      November 26, 2012 at 8:37 pm

      Yup! Those oyinbo forming not hearing the ‘good morning’ is quite annoying

  33. Dziree

    November 26, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Pet Peeves – Naija text speak aka lazy typing ( thx, K, kl, NP, fink, fl, swt, sm) etc. some of them don’t even make sense and are just plain retarded.
    Coughing or sneezing without covering your mouth. I’ve been tempted to spit into a few just to teach them a lesson
    Squeezing toothpaste from the middle – grounds for divorce right there 🙂
    People who half way through a sentence say “you know what I’m saying” or ” you get me” . No fool!!! I would if you completed the darn sentence maybe
    “Am” instead of I’m. Can we just agree you didn’t get a good primary education. Like seriously!! “Am going to bed”??? Really??

    • Purpleicious Babe

      November 26, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      Looooool ooo….

    • ant

      November 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm

      Lmao! I agree with that squeezing toothpaste from the middle, drives me up the wall.

    • Babs

      November 26, 2012 at 8:39 pm

      Absolutely hate the ‘am’……freaking disgusting

    • Ib

      November 28, 2012 at 9:02 am

      Finally!!Squeezing the toothpaste anywhere but the bottom…..ARGGGGHHHHH. Pet peeve No. 1.

  34. Wella

    November 26, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Taking pictures in the toilet mirror.
    Mixing up English and AMerican words

    • liily

      November 26, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      hahahahahaha…you got me on the taking pictures in the toilte mirror…ROTFLMAO!!!!

  35. Jessica Lin

    November 26, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Gosh There are so many things I can’t stand
    1. People that smack their food or gum or blow ballons with their gum : please close your mouth when you are eating
    2. People that talk with food in their mouth: grosses me out
    3. I can’t stand when people give backhanded compliments e.g You are smarter than you look, You look cute for a black person, Wow, you’re so pretty…imagine how you’d look if you were slim, you look so gorgeous why is your knuckles darker are you sure you are not bleaching
    4. I am pretty OCD (excessive cleaning) when it comes to my Condo, Car or any of my belongings. : I can’t stand when my friends or brothers come to visit and they they pile their dirty dishes in the sink : who the heck are you waiting for to wash them. or when they use my car and leave their coffee cup or fast food remnant.
    5. I can’t stand when people use unnecessary abbreviations or weird characters online or testing. example: wld instead of would, sth instead of something
    6. I can’t stand people that can’t keep to time: This is my biggest pet peeve and my brothers are huge culprits. Don’t tell me to meet you up in Starbucks at 12:00pm and then show up at 2:00pm
    7. I can’t stand when you lend someone one of your things and you have to keep asking to get your stuff back or they give it to you broken
    8. I can’t stand it when people touch my hair especially people I don’t know. You can tell me my hair is pretty and all that but please don’t touch my hair: I don’t know where your hands have been
    9. People that don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them or you see me coming behind and you don’t hold the door.
    10. Bad Customer Service: The customer is always right

    • Jessica Lin

      November 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm

      *or texting

  36. dee one

    November 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    Not flushing the toilet, touching me when talking and touching my things without asking. There’s a long list but these are the top three.

  37. Imohazel

    November 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    I hate the site of people chewing gum.Absolute worst is people peeling onions or plantains and etc into the kitchen sink! Gets under my skin!

  38. Imohazel

    November 26, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Oooh i forgot this! You go to the village and some unknown dirty old woman tries to demonstrate how big you have gotten and decides the best way is to flick your boobs. Good heavens! I just silently pray their hand shrivels and falls off

    • storm

      December 28, 2012 at 12:03 am

      silently? One woman has tried that with me before. I slapped her friggin hands away. Trash.

  39. Madam the Madam

    November 26, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    – People who come by my house unannounced. This is 2012 with various forms of communication such as phone, BBM, Whatsapp, text, Twitter, Facebook…need I go on? Don’t be a rude fish and show up unannounced at my door step or else I will be a rude fish and pretend like I’m not home.

    – People who do not know how to use thier turn signals aka trafficator when driving.

    -Unneccesarily loud individuals.

    – Typing things like: “swt lyk sgar” or “am cuming 2 ur hse”. Slowness on an epic level.

    – People who don’t return things in the form that you gave it to them. Be considerate please.

  40. hunniebunnie

    November 26, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Oh gosh! Nose digging, spitting, pee-ing against walls and in public areas, people who don’t wash their hands after using the toilet, I’ve seen this happen way too many times, it’s unbelievable; dirty sinks, dirty FRIDGES, can’t stand this! Dirty/wet toilet seats, people who sneeze and cough in their hands and then proceed to shake people…. Wash your hands!!!!! or use some hand sanitizer, impatient drivers, rude kids, when people talk so hard, they spit on you.UGH!!!! The list goes on and on. Some things don’t bother me though. For example, an unmade bed doesn’t bother me, as long as the sheets are clean. It’s all about hygiene and cleanliness for me. :0)

  41. jyde

    November 26, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    What i hate the most is when im going out and need a plastic bag only to find out that pastor my pet billy goat has eaten them all.
    hes so greedy,he reminds me of the church guys constantly sending the collecton bowl round over and over.
    Anyway at least pastor doesnt have to pretend he knows better,and should pee out of sight.

  42. Cameroonian Babe

    November 26, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    my major pet peeves are:
    1 chewing so loud or eating with your mouth open/ people who talk with food in their mouth
    2 making noise with your cutlery while eating meaning trying to scratch every remain from your plate
    3 Snoring or loud breathing i just cant stand it
    4 stingy breath and body odor/ smelling armpits
    5 people who write with alot of short hands words. for the love of Christ cant you kust spelle the words out
    6 when someone replies me with K or kkkkkkk
    7 scattered places be it room, bathroom, or kitchen i just cant stand a messy place.
    8 people who accumulate their pants/ underwears with their clothes to do general laundry
    i have go to many lemme stop there

  43. liily

    November 26, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    My top pet peeves
    – Body odor, Breath Odor, in fact any kind of unpleasant odor. I can’t just stand it. My nose it too sensitive. It’s a NO-NO and might even lead to divorce 🙂
    -lateness. Oh my goodness! how much will i stress this. I HATE people that shows up late for anything. Whether it be a get-together, or lunch anything it is very annoying. If we had an appointment by 9 am at least by 8:58 I should be expecting you to be coming in through the door. If it is an interview at least by 8:45 am i should expect you to be seated until is 9am. five to ten minutes is the latest i can wait after our appointed time. Please my people time is money as they say.
    -shorthanded hand-writings gets on my last freaking nerves. How long will it take you to just write in full eh? Even when these nurses I work with, they do it I get so mad and irritated at them. how do you expect me to understand what you just wrote. whether it be “wld” instead of “would” or “O.J” instead of “Orange juice”. please I’m begging in the name of any Deity you serve DON’T use it.
    -Noise!!! Oh I hate noise not to talk of people that are so loud when they are talking especially on their phone. You can even hear them from hundreds of miles. Kilo de?
    -I hate (with passion) unkept kitchen especially when there are dirty plates in the sink that has been there for days and also when the trash is full and the smell is just oozing. Please it very disgusting
    -please don’t get me started with unkept bathroom/toilet. please when you are my guest at my place, I’m kindly asking after bathing with soap and water while rinsing your body, please kindly use water/shower hose to clean up the walls of the bathroom. I hate when i want to use the bathroom i will have to start cleaning up the soap foam that is all over the bathroom wall.
    -When people who dip their bread inside their tea. Please it’s just gross
    -Please and Please again people who go to the buffet or salad buffet when picking up food to put in your plate, I’m begging when you mess up the surroundings of the place you just pick up your food kindly clean up. Please don’t put the serving spoon in your mouth or hand to taste the food or salad. Remember there are other people who want to take some of the food too.
    -This is for the guys: please i don’t care how handsome you are but please keep your hair on a low cut oh biko nu. I can’t stand dreads on a guy or braids on a guys head. No matter how nice you do it, to me it always look untidy. Guys that smokes and drinks alcohol like water (look at #1), long nails please it is a No-No for me.

    • liily

      November 26, 2012 at 8:15 pm

      there are other things that I despise; however i forgot to mention this which is among my top pet peeves
      -Please if i sent you a RSVP and you don’t respond and later on you show up at my party or whatever, be rest assured that you will be turned back at the entrance of the door. For this reason, when i sent you an RSVP kindly respond. Also expect the invitation says you can bring +1 you can bring only one person; if it doesn’t please I’m begging again in the name of the Deity you serve please don’t bring anyone unless you want to be embarrassed.

  44. iamfascinating

    November 26, 2012 at 8:53 pm

  45. Socris

    November 26, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    We cant all be perfect…..

  46. faith

    November 26, 2012 at 10:47 pm

    I hate all crawling animals e.g. snakes, earthworms and lizard…I hat guys dat bite there nails, I hate pple dat don’t shave their private parts…

  47. Anita...

    November 26, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Hahahaha…[email protected] liily,ur comment is longer than Atokes post sha!….
    Lets see….I totally detest the one long fingernail guys seem to luv…..dt s#@%$t brings nasty images to my head…..
    I HATE! seeing orange peels and seeds on the floor,if you want to see me totally flip,drop a banana peel near me…..
    i hate pple not picking up after themselves as i always feel compelled to pick up after them….
    i absolutely cannot stand that musty smell peeps have when they try to cover up their body odour with strong smelling body sprays e.g Brut and Bodman……i suggest a long shower,lime scrub,sure deodorant and clean clothes…..instead of cutting off my oxygen supply wit ur potent aroma(hehehehe!)
    I also hate wet towels and unmade beds and DIRTY FLOORS (seriously im the girl who sweeps by 2 am) ….hehehehee,I know…borderline OCD!

  48. Anita...

    November 26, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    oh…..i also hate people touching my cheeks and arms……*shudder!*

  49. artful dodger

    November 26, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    people that spell words stupidly like “du” instead of “do”, “dre” instead of “there”… learn to spell!!! at least one of the commenters here has stumped me with retarded spelling. if all else fails, freaking use the spell check feature… it is there for a reason. lol

  50. 10 things I hate about you

    November 27, 2012 at 1:09 am

    People who get offended if you do not remember or recognize them.

    I travelled to the East for a family wedding event. My father called me to come and meet some friends and relatives who had been asking about me during my absence.

    There was one particular man, a red capped older man, who grabbed and hugged me, when I was introduced to him. He asked “Esco, do you know who I am? Can you remember me?”

    I tried to think but drew a blank. If you are Igbo, you would probably have been asked this question before by distant relatives or uncles, and they take it personally if you say you don’t remember them. The trick is to say you do remember them, and that they are your uncle or ‘father’s brother.’ It won’t be a lie – every man much older than you is your uncle in Nigeria.

    I didn’t lie though ”Sorry uncle, the face looks familiar; but I am not sure..”

    The man looked really hurt and looked at me like I had betrayed him. He repeated in Igbo “So imagho onye m bu?” (So you really, really, really do not know who I am?)

    I felt like saying “Nope sir…but I am sure you are about to educate me.” I didn’t.

    “Uncle” educated me “ I am your dad’s brother Chief Eugene Onyeora. I am from the neighboring town from yours. You have really grown. The last time I saw you, you were just a little boy of about 3 or 4. So you cannot remember? I came to your house in Lagos on a Saturday morning .You were at the dining table, and you were having sweet akara balls for breakfast.”

    Akara balls? This dude even remembered the food I was having when he came to our house in the 80s. I mean really? What an event. He remembered that day for the akara balls. Not because something really important like a man landing on the moon or someone breaking the 100 meter record, or something grand…

  51. Adedoyin

    November 27, 2012 at 5:05 am

    Top things i cant stand.
    1. Bad odour/ smelly feet…I mean i get really irritated when some people with smelly feet just remove their shoes in public…Arghhhhhhhh i cant stand it.
    2. Toilet seat with urine stains….its gets at me.
    3. People who belch so loud like a buffalo….it pisses me off.
    4. Guys with long nails…
    5.Wearing socks with holes all over it……Yuck!!…For God sake, socks only cost N100
    6. Chewing with loud sound….
    7. I hate the smell of garlic……Ewwwwwwwwww!

  52. Adedoyin

    November 27, 2012 at 5:06 am

    I also hate seeing used cotton buds around……

  53. purplepearl

    November 27, 2012 at 6:09 am

    LOL i just came back here to read comments, My bellanaijarians never disappoint. Atoke am sure you can write a book with all the comment plus provide some suggestions on handling pet peeves.

  54. AnONYMouS

    November 27, 2012 at 6:36 am

    Atoke! I love you…No Homo! You are one of the superstars I must meet someday…lol.

    • Atoke

      November 27, 2012 at 11:21 am

      Lol! Bring out your sunglasses yo! It’s gonna be all glittery and all! 😉

  55. missBonnie

    November 27, 2012 at 8:39 am

    My top 2
    1) Dirty bathrooms, especially dirty corners in bathrooms that is full of dirt . yuck !!!!!
    2) people who ‘suck bone’ when they are eating and make all sorts of disgusting noises with their mouth. ARGHHH!!!!!

  56. anonymous

    November 27, 2012 at 10:58 am

    i agree with Socris, we can’t all be perfect. i like to dig my nose but i try to do it in private. but i sure cant stand skid marks in the toilet. It’s also so annoying using crazy abbreviations in sms and bbm’s.

  57. Ejiro

    November 27, 2012 at 11:11 am

    One man’s meat is another man’s poison….I love dipping my bread in my chocolate drink(that is the same way Americans dips too),I bite my nails including my toe nails(o yeah u can cringe well if u want too) and I love meats with bones so I can on them till they are into pieces…..I hate when people ‘form’ one kind all too perfect.u will be surprised some people writing a lot of pet peeves do half of what they hate sef.I just can’t stand it when after brushing in front of the mirror,ur toothpaste is all over the mirror and the sink.cant stand it when u eat without brushing.i don’t like. People that scratch their throat making awful sounds( I know some are allergic but get some antihistamine)[email protected]….if u were to be in a field where u write a lot and need to abbreviate,u wld understand.Also I don’t understand how people sweat in their clothes all day and still sleep in it .i hate it when people sleep on my bed after laying it especially with ur jeans that must have swept all the town.i hate men that sag.i hate tattoos.i hate people that have more than one ear hole piercing.i hate fake eyelashes and fake eyebrows( girls that do that look like tortoise or lizards).i hate dirty sinks.and I hate people that don’t flush toilet after using it.i hate it when u cook and u wear that same clothes outside,it makes u smell like Indians.i hate it when u cut onions and u still use that hand or knife to cut up orange.wash ur hands with salt or vinegar.and please after eating and u can’t brush,please take a mint.and please if u really feel like eating garlic,please crush it and soak it up in water and drink it instead or cut it into till pieces and swallow like pills
    U can now see that one mans meat is another man’s poison

    • yawn

      November 27, 2012 at 12:06 pm

      finger nails ;eww but i can manage.. toe nails?? double ewwwwww infact make dat a million ewwwwws!!!!

    • liily

      November 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm

      my dear Ejiro if you read my post carefully you will see where i mentioned “Even when these nurses I work with, they do it I get so mad and irritated at them”. I thank God that now where i work no more abbreviations because it has caused a lot of havoc and eventually leading to a death of a patient. let me use an instance, I was reading a nurse documentation and she wrote and i quote, “I gave pt o.j bcos pt BS is low. R. h is infected with(here she used c and put a dash above it) bacterium…” So my dear ejiro please explain and translate the meaning of this biko? when i saw o.j i’m like is she talking about giving patient o.j simpson. When i called her in that’s when she told me that it is “orange juice”. how i’m i suppose to know that. Different people have different shorthand handwriting’s and the meaning of yours maybe different from another.So please i don’t want to understand why we shorthanded hand-writings. you can use for your own personal use let say when you are taking your notes while the professor is dictating or in your dairy so that people will not understand. And these Nigerians short hands don’t even have part 2. Please let’s try not to use shorthand. Thanks!

  58. yawn

    November 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    well i hate it when people bathe and leave the bathroom floor wet
    i hate it when people touch my hair especially if i don’t know you..gets on my nerves
    i hate touching a stranger who is sweating or seating closely to such a person..even if i know u sef
    i hate it when you don’t flush the toilet properly i mean..flush everything off let me be seeing the white..
    i hate it seeing a dirty kitchen or dirty dishes in the sink. its effing annoying
    i hate people that sneeze or cough without covering their mouth
    i hate it when people know they have catarrh and yet don’t use tissue or handkerchief…ewwwww.
    i could go on but i’ll just stop here..xoxo

  59. dammiedee

    November 28, 2012 at 7:06 pm


  60. Agbaya

    November 29, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Body odour/ mouth odour..
    I seat in between two guys at work, they both smell..the white one has a fag ash breath. And the Chinese one?,I feel like breaking a glasscup on his head, its so obvious the guy never cleans his mouth with the kind of odour that oozes out…He has every kind of offensive odour you can think of, He yawns/coughs/sneezes/belches with mouth wide open, its very unfair not to take care of your hygeine, Those around you bear it all,its disgusting.I can’t even marry a guy that smells,its a great turnoff, theres no excuse,especially here in the UK where you have so many fragrances at very affordable prices.
    We can’t all be perfect but there are some basic things we have to be conscious of abeg.

  61. blesyn

    May 3, 2013 at 9:20 am

    Mehn, I cnt help bt lmao. Cudnt stop laffin. Bella nigerians. U̶̲̥̅̊ guys r too much. Goin tru ur comments made ♍ƺ laugh lyk crazy. Pple arnd were lyk ” what’s wrong with ha?”

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