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Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: If Wishes Were Horses




Can we take a few minutes to try and understand what exactly is going on with the weather? It is insanely hot in Lagos. I shudder to think about what it’s like up in Bwari or in Gwagalada at the Federal Capital Territory. I never thought I’d see the day in Lagos when we spent a few minutes making chit-chat about the weather. Alas, it is upon us brethren.

Not having constant power supply is also not helping matters, so it just feels like we’re locked up in this humid bubble. I’ve not felt as strong an urge to pack it all up and head over to a country with cooler air and constant power as much as I do now.  I was whinging about how it is and my friend was complaining about how cold it is and how it’s snowing in Spring. I argued that they were better off than we were, especially as they have constant power with which to run their heaters. We, on the other hand, are not so lucky. I heard someone say “If only it would snow in Nigeria” I mean, it’s so hot right now, we’d wish for anything to get some respite… but really, do we really want it to snow in Lagos? Wont we all die? Who will salt our roads to prevent our cars from skidding? How will we keep warm at home when the power supply goes off for 36 hours?

Thinking about Nigeria is really heart breaking. With every news report I read, it gets even more depressing and when you try to proffer a solution or even work towards it, you find there’s some other cog in the wheel of progress. So, as I lay in the darkness of my room this weekend, pondering on the issue of not having power for the last 15 days, I decided to try something new instead of seeking solace in the bottle… step into the world of fantasy. I closed my eyes and transported myself to a place that was blissfully serene, where money was of no essence, where the skies were blue and they met with the light tan of the sandy shore

A place where people smiled a lot and there was plenty music, dancing, and mojitos! It may come across as a bit simplistic, I mean, as adults you kind of know that you can’t wish your problems away but honestly, there’s no harm in trying.
Remember when you were younger and all you had to do was say a wish before you blow out the candles on your birthday cake (for you ajebutters, that is! 😉 Seeing all the pictures from the Idibia wedding in Dubai this weekend has got me really wishful!

So share your wishes with us! What would you do if money wasn’t an object? I mean, if you were a millionaire in every currency that counts… what would you do? Where would you be right now that would make you absolutely happy and delighted? Let’s dream a little shall we? It’s so much easier than letting all the depressing news get to us.

Have a fabulous week ahead. Don’t let the weather and life get you down okay? Keep your head up and don’t be afraid to dream!

Love, peace & Cupcakes!

Photo Credit: La Jet Fette

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website for more information.


  1. Peachy_mo

    March 25, 2013 at 9:47 am

    Hmm…Atoke thanks for bringing wishful thinking back into our lives. I’ll love to have fun! paragliding, skydiving, travelling & exploring but imagine how much fun it will be going with someone or people who least expect such luxury! that priceless look of surprise and fun give me so much fulfillment. So with banks full of monies in different currency, I will organize tours for the orphans (as well as less privilege) to exotic African countries and where I can, outside Africa (especially the Caribbeans!) *lets hope no one will abscond from the group! *phew*

  2. Neo

    March 25, 2013 at 9:52 am

    This heat nor get part 2 at all. yesterday i could have hosted a full Mongolian grill on the bonnet of my car. All of us should just hold abebe and be fanning ourselves oh bcos one weekend of snow in Nigeria would wipe out 70% of the population!

    If i had all the money in the world, i’d buy Christian Louboutin, Elie Saab and Gordon Ramsay and lock them away in a basement to make me and me alone all my favourite things! Shoes, fab dresses and food. Oh, and Boris Kodjoe too for the man candy factor.

  3. anonymous

    March 25, 2013 at 10:09 am

    If i were a millionaire, i will pay for my masters degree and buy a car. i just can’t imagine going through another rainy season in lagos without a car.

  4. Hahaha

    March 25, 2013 at 10:11 am

    I want to be with my boyfriend now, that is all.
    Long distance is hard mahn!

  5. beforesheimplodes

    March 25, 2013 at 10:20 am

    I would not live here…thats for sure. I would have a have a nice large bungalow, with a lovely pool and acres of greenery for my beautiful children to play in. I would live where the sun rises and makes everything look beautiful and its so nice and cool in the evenings. I would live in a place where humans where humans and I wont be too afraid of what my children would be learning outside the home. I would have counselling sessions at home for people in the town, women that needed to talk to someone, that needed to pray with someone. I would teach, I would have jam sessions with a band, sing and sing and sing. I would ‘lolox’ my husband as often as possible…..
    Sigh…I could go on…but its Monday morning…and wishes arent horses…

    • Primebabe

      March 26, 2013 at 4:42 pm

      is that susan?

  6. Partyrider

    March 25, 2013 at 10:23 am

    Snowing in spring? That’s if we have seen the spring abi? 🙁
    This is extended winter,I can’t even believe the cold at this time of the year. I made the mistake of wearing kicks outside yesterday,all my toes got frozen.

    As for wishful thinking,I just want to be in a quiet beach house,just me myself and silence reading books. And of course with a well stucked fridge 😀

  7. ella

    March 25, 2013 at 10:32 am

    I travelled over the weekend from ph to lag…came back yesterday evening to realise light had to blinked at all over the weeken. Everything in the Fridge and Freezer gone bad. With terrible odour oozing out from the kitchen. It wasnt a glad to be back home evening at all. When I think of Nigeria, I wonder….Where are we really going?….Realistically not by faith..Where are we going?

  8. Anon

    March 25, 2013 at 10:38 am

    My dad was telling me this yesterday!! It must be really serious for you to have posted about it. Wow.
    On the other hand, the weather in the UK is terrible. Trust me! Like my exams are coming up and my books are too cold to open and read. I’m stuck under my duvet. I think you’re at an advantage, honestly.

  9. Theodora

    March 25, 2013 at 11:04 am

    I Wish i wish i wish for so many things that its on in dreams i get it, but am still hopefully

  10. Theodora

    March 25, 2013 at 11:08 am

    i meant its only in dreams i get it

  11. Tayo

    March 25, 2013 at 11:18 am

    How I wish I could meet the woman of my dreams; she has to be smart and intelligent (so I can be assured that if I’m not around she would take the best decision for us), enterprising (not only interested in chopping my money but ready to contribute her quota to our family wealth) , philanthropic (and encourage my philanthropic tendencies), studious, driven (has her aspirations and goals), independent mindset (doesn’t ask me for money for everything, she should be capable of doing somethings for herself too), easy going, love me with my mistakes (I’ll love her with her mistakes too), appreciative, knows what she wants, on time (I detest African time excuses), challenge and inspire me to be a better man (I know my life experiences and where I am today will inspire any woman or man) , Loving , make me her one and only (I’ll make her my queen), God fearing (A person that has the fear of God has the heart to think twice before a wicked deed), she should also be interesting and thoughtful (she should know how to keep a conversation going,I appreciate in-dept conversations, I’ll die of boredom with a shallow minded person). But this are all wishes, I’m back to reality, sometimes I wonder if all this attributes are too much to desire in a woman.

    • Atoke


      March 25, 2013 at 11:35 am

      Eez ga ju!

    • Seyi

      March 25, 2013 at 12:09 pm

      Uncle, you had better create the woman o, as in design her from the get go. I am that woman you described, as in not tooting my horn, I am, and add a great cook and very domesticated to the list, but I sure as hell won’t want someone to make a list of wanting me like that, cos I’ve lived it, and it wasn’t pretty. Its all about what the other person should be, not much about what you are bringing to the table. Because, are you that man, that has the qualities to match such a woman. When I hear people make such lists, I ask them too, oya, you want this in a partner, please list your qualities too o, because it will be unfair on the person, to be bringing so much to the table, and you cant match up. That was my relationship dynamic too. What are you going to be for her, or do for her too. The first step in finding the perfect person, is to be the perfect person yourself. Don’t just pray or wish for that person that you want, work towards BEING that person, so the equation is balanced. Also in this your list, you didn’t make room for flaws or lapses in personal character, cos you sure have yours too, but you are wanting Miss perfect. She doesn’t exist my dear, cos you sef are not alllllllllll that you wrote. One of the reasons I broke up with my ex, was because he didn’t love ME, he looooooved the IDEA of me. I ticked all his list, but he didnt make allowances in his head for flaws, so when my negative bits started showing, bros couldn’t handle it. How could his “perfect” woman be this, this and that? He put me on a pedestal, and he expected me to be perfect. That’s too much pressure for one person to deal with and match all the time. So of course my imperfectness created friction, the illusion of the perfect woman was shattered, and the relationship headed down south. The funny thing was, he had his list of the perfect woman, and he fell short in soooo many ways. I started asking him, what makes him think he DESRVES, such a woman. My friends and family kept saying, you are too good for this guy, you no dey his level at all. So, the chicken came to roost, when I made my own list too, and I gave him the boot. So keep dreaming on Mount Olympus. Goddess Athena is waiting for you. Lol……

    • Tayo

      March 25, 2013 at 12:35 pm

      Auntie, na wish now,…. Atoke said ”share your wish with us”-I just wrote the thoughts that came to my mind, In fact I’ll bring so many things to the table. About omitting flaws and imperfections, I think references to my mistakes and her mistakes was in my comment, I also said something about her challenging me to be a better person, so na my assignment to meet her requirements too, my extra selling point is that I sabi cook too. I like the idea of Goddess Athena though, I’ll take my chances

    • maureen

      March 25, 2013 at 12:13 pm

      Its not too much to ask from a lady like me, seriously *straightface* but do you also possess at least 3/4 of these listed qualities. send me a message if you are interested

    • Jacy

      March 25, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      How I wish I could make you meet the woman of your dreams! Although your dream might seem wishful, I still believe there’s a woman out there with such great qualities waiting for your kind of man to compliment her. Holla [email protected]. Enjoy your week

    • jumoke

      March 25, 2013 at 12:30 pm

      Tayo is not too much….! But you are very funny sha…!!!!

    • ebony

      March 25, 2013 at 12:40 pm

      you are not asking for too much dear.. these are just normal qualities and there is nothing extraordinary about it so do not mind seyi… just pray bro, she sure is around the corner. and you didn’t add beauty, trust me, that is a big plus cos it shows you are not vain…

    • Morenike

      March 26, 2013 at 10:00 am

      Not too much…I have all of them and even more. Unfortunately for you, a prince charming hooked me up 4 years ago 🙂 There are still girls like that but very rear. Keep looking and hope for the best.

  12. Abiola

    March 25, 2013 at 11:39 am

    lol………BN readers wouldnt kill me…my colleagues looking at me, cnt help smiling to myself….Bella, you have won my heart

  13. Amaka

    March 25, 2013 at 11:57 am

    Errmmm…. Tayo, Icould be the woman of your dreams, you know*fans self*. I am all you wish to have and much more. Seriously though, I’m tired of being single meeehhhnnnnn. Wish the man of my dreams would just appear and whisk me away into sunset. I’ve been in love before and I want to be again. Its such an out- of- this world feeling and no one should miss out on it, so my greatest wish right now is to fall in love CRAZILY with the right man.

    • Mekus

      March 25, 2013 at 7:09 pm

      @ Amaka, mmmhhhhh! if all you said is true, nne biko bia let us do this thing! lol! your heart must be very ready from the way you sound!!

  14. Feintoe

    March 25, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    hmmmm! @Tayo and @Amaka issorai. Pls at BN team let the match making begin. We never can tell o, sometimes wishes comes true.

  15. kehinde

    March 25, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    how i wish my husband is a billionaire or connected,and i dont have to wake up at 4am to prepare my baby and i for work,or wish i have a fantastic paying job on the mainland with housemaid to help take care of baby and house chores,I also wish i get get 3 hrs sleep at a Stretch,wish he can also afford to take d family on vacation,oooOOOOH!!!!HW I TRULY WISH.

  16. anonymous

    March 25, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    i am 23 yrs old and tired of being single. i just hope i will not get married to the next available man irrespective of who he is (not that serious sha) but i just want to experience love

  17. Peachy_mo

    March 25, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Abegie! Tayo, biko cross road make we hear word which kain thesis you write there? this woman exist o! and she is so close to you than you can imagine….IN YOUR DREAMS! if she’s all that next thing you’ll hear ‘dreamy’ Tayo say is she is proud pompous, snobbish, and oh! so rude! better go and buy a programmed doll so he creator can configure all this attribute in her


  18. Priscy

    March 25, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    I just want a boyfriend who would love me for me….

  19. jcsgrl

    March 25, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Hmnn if wishes were horses, I wish my husband is established in Nja so we don’t have to live apart for soo long, own our home and prayerfully healthy and beautiful kids

  20. esteelauder

    March 25, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    i just wish it would stop snowing in spring and that Nigeria gets better. i wish all those standing in the way of the stability and progress of my beloved nation find their square root and give room for change and above all, i wish everyone would come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ

    • Dear Nigeria

      March 25, 2013 at 8:28 pm

      I love your wish @esteelauder! I can truly say your wish is my wish:)

  21. omotee

    March 25, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    haba tayo, wat do u have to offer ? well dose are wishes then bt work towards becomin a better man that a virtuous woman wil be proud to show off as well.

  22. BB

    March 25, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    I wish it would stop being bloody cold. It’s becoming annoying now. Snow in March. Taaaaa. I wish I had money to pay off my mortgage and stop paying interest to the bank. I wish I also had money to take care of my paents in the standard that they deserve after decades of hardwork raising my siblings and I. One more foreign university school fees to go for their last baby, and I wish I can take it off their hands. I also wish I can find love too, and love that won’t come with unnecessary expectations

    • Amazeballs!

      March 26, 2013 at 11:25 am

      May God grant your wish BB, it is so selfless!

  23. dont mention

    March 25, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    i want to be with my boyfriend like yesterday……i wish for nothing else but that……..funny thing is he showed up in my life when i wasnt looking to date and was fresh off of a messy relationship…..and its almost as if he dropped into my laps and the love for five months now has been amazing……there are very few guys like him and funny too that i didnt have a list, but he meets every requirement in tayo’s list above and yep, he is my man…….i love him so so much but this distance is killing me… my wish, someone get me a plane ticket to germany…….and i will forever b indebted to u…..hahaha…..loveis definiely a beautiful thing and i wish for every one to experience genuine and true love at some point in life…..

  24. FOB

    March 25, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    I wish my blood genotype would change to AA so I could marry the guy I really wanna be with…. its one of the most horrid feelings ever when the two of you can’t be together because of the blood that runs in your veins

    • Anon

      March 25, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      Awww.. Bless you!! Prayer changes things. I speak from experience. Stay Prayed up. xx

    • Dear Nigeria

      March 25, 2013 at 8:30 pm

      FOB with God all things are possible! I do not know if you are a Christian, but there is truly nothing God can’t fix;)

  25. Tiki

    March 25, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    I wish my famil wasn’t scattered over the world, I wish we could all be together in one place. I wish I could see m ex and we could sort out our unfinished business, I wish I was closer to God so these wishes wouldn’t matter, and I would have the peace that passes all understanding.

    • Specs

      March 25, 2013 at 10:40 pm

      Best response ever!! I wish I was closer to God and trusted him more so all my wishes won’t matter too!! My birthday was last week and I was thinking of asking God for something, you know, a special birthday present,lol…but Alas I had too many wants and wishes(from husband, to graduation, to healing, to good job) I couldn’t even prioritize…the Spirit just jejely led me to pray for peace instead.

    • kay

      March 26, 2013 at 4:18 am

      Regarding your last wish, It doesnt have to be just a wish. He is closer to you than your very breath. Just talk to him, he is always ready to listen

  26. masked

    March 25, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    Above all I wanna experience true love….i’m beginning to feel lyk it actually doesn’t exist but deep down i’m triple certain it does and 2nd of all i wish i cud av all of my immediate family 2geda under the same roof not scattered all around the world…..If wishes were rily horses

  27. Ayorinde...

    March 25, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    I wish i were in d hands of my dream man, a man of great dreams, nourishing values and aspiring future woo will hold me in high esteem, love me and cherish me with all his life.Love conquers all, even if Nigeria is crushing b4 us(May God help us), and everything isn’t just right someaw,with the thought of u having the best man in d world, woo kias and full of ur thoughts.. all will just be as fine!..Love conquers all.I am tired of being single! man rite.

  28. Banke

    March 25, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    I wish my crush feels as I feel for him. I wish he’s crazy about me as I am ’bout him. I wish we could get together. I wish for my life to go as planned. I wish to begin my masters in September and by next year June be at the Nigerian law school. I wish to fall in love with the man of my dreams. One who makes me happy nod loves my imperfection. I with for so many things… I can only hope that they come true.

  29. sussy

    March 25, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    i wish that wen i finish school i could find a really good job so that my mum will never have to worry about money again.

    • Yes

      March 26, 2013 at 12:25 am

      Awww, I pray that God grants your wish. For some reasons, your wish brought tears to my eyes. It sounds so sincere.

  30. Msunderstood

    March 26, 2013 at 12:04 am

    Omg, a lot of people’s wishes brought tears to my eyes n made me realize how blessed I am. I pray that God touches everyone in the places they want. Amen.

  31. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 4:36 am

    i wish am married to a God fearing millionaire who thinks the world of me and spoils me silly.I wish am at the top of my career with a good home and my three lovely kids.i wish i don’t have to read to earn my masters and Ace all my classes.Weather is so cold that I almost don’t want to go for lectures or work.I find myself daydreaming about having my home now than masters.I wish am so wealthy that I can afford anything i want*sigh

  32. Babygirl

    March 26, 2013 at 4:40 am

    I wish i knew my father RIP Daddy i still love you i know who you are i carry your name and cherish ur pictures but i never knew u on a father daughter level. I wish my mum was a better mother to me and i wish i wasnt an only child.

    • FBB

      March 28, 2013 at 4:53 am

      Awwww! So sorry, may your wishes come through. Ameen

  33. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 4:41 am

    so many wishes in my heart…Lord Knows.Some you can’t say it out at all.You just groan to God.But He understands.My wish list is so llong

  34. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 4:57 am

    I wish i can get a man who is willingly to wait for me till my wedding night(come this far don’t want to lose my virginity).like they say good gals go to heaven,bad gals go to Paris.I want it all.Both heaven and paris!I wish my dream man can sweep me off with so much care and attention.I really want to marry.I wish i really get to meet my dream man who loves me and whom I love too.Am tired of meeting guys that are not what i want.Am not expecting a perfect man but i want to meet someone that I love too.I wish married men don’t have to lust over me.I wish am so wealthy that i can build a house for my mum at Nicon town lekki and also open a big super market for her.That woman has tried raising all 5 of us alone.I wish I can pamper her .Wish goes on……..

    • Peachy_mo

      March 26, 2013 at 11:58 am

      When you find a decent girl, you need to provide her with things indecent girls get indecently just to show her that decency has a reward…so be still child

  35. ebony

    March 26, 2013 at 11:18 am

    i wish! i wish!! i wish!!! i just want to be happy and fulfilled is all. deep sigh.. my birthday is tomorrow(27th)and funny me, i removed my date from fb and not saying anything about it at work or bbm cos i cant handle the many phone calls and wishes i am sure wld come.. depression u wld say cos i am sincerely not where i hope to be at 29. but on second thot, i have a lot to be grateful for , soo i am just gonna wish myself a happy birthday and thank God for how far he hath kept me…

    • To ebony

      March 26, 2013 at 1:05 pm

      my dear girl, you are where you need to be. Life hasn’t finished with you. This discontentment may be due to you comparing your life with others, please don’t there’s no need. Nothing is wrong with being 29, your life is another year older, another year to explore, experience, examine, plan, bla bla bla. So, let people wish you happy birthday. It will uplift your spirits. No matter what you think, you are where you are supposed to be. Those things you don’t have now, it is because it is not yet your time to have it, so why fast forward the clock. Just know within yourself that each day you wake up is a day clsoer to you acheiving your dreams. See your glass as half full, not half empty. No matter how bad your case is, trust me other people have it worse. You don’t need to look far to realise that. Happy birthday in advance, I wish you a truly blessed year. Keep calm and watch the magic of life unfold before your eyes. You are a work in progress. Nothing is certain.

    • ebony

      March 26, 2013 at 2:22 pm

      wow!!!! i don’t know who you are but you are truly God sent.. after reading this, my eyes were misty and i am truly happy and uplifted by what you wrote *grinning widely* tanks a bunch for the birthday wish and i am going to change my fb info to public… tanks again…

    • Ikunkun

      March 26, 2013 at 7:11 pm

      Thanks!! my birthday was earlier this month as well…..but this message is just right on time!!

  36. funmi

    March 26, 2013 at 11:57 am

    I wish for a better NIGERIA, a naija that thinz works, students are not frustrated , workers are encouraged, electricity is not on minimini mining moooo. where husband dont cheat, life’s have values. hmmm the list is endless.

  37. candyjay

    March 26, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    my wishes are endless i wish for a better and well developed NIGERIA but right now i really wish i could have a pent house in one of the tallest buildings in new york where i can stand and see the statue of liberty and the empire state building and a cool weather with chefs preparing my fav and the pent house all glassy cool music playing from the background… and so on

  38. Primebabe

    March 26, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    my wishes are stupid…….i know, after waiting and studying my ex i finally “did the deed with” him at 29 (I’m now 31) and he walked out approximately 6months after. I have totally lost my sense of self and wish i could get that back. DESPERATELY

  39. Cali

    March 26, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    I wish I wish I wish

  40. Tuesday

    March 26, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    I wish I was still a baby when my mummy and daddy still spoilt me and I dint have to bother about this and that ( study more, career building, start a family quick, invest immensely,,,,, etc )
    I so wish! errmmm #stillsingle so I wish for a matured guy and not an over grown baby – ___-

  41. cutephunkie

    March 27, 2013 at 10:56 am

    i wish all the burden am feeling right now culd be lifted off my shoulders, i wish i culd have my dream wedding without spending from my pocket……….. i wish…. i wish ….. i wish for so many tins i cant mention on BN

  42. Nomy

    March 27, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    I wish i could eat anything and everything and still remain a size 10 up and down o! I wish someone would offer to pay for my M.Sc and someone else would offer me a cozy one bedroom self contained anywhere on the Island. Finally i wish the Man of my dreams were already here so that i could cuddle up to him and just lie in his arms doing nothing but being held, worrying about nothing, just being carefree in the arms of his love. Now back to reality, Abuja is blistering hot, its quite normal to sleep without clothes, Abuja makes me realize i must not go to hell o! Chai! 🙁

  43. divea

    March 28, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    i wish my mum and dad will stop quarreling, fighting and learn to love,understand each other.

  44. bless

    March 29, 2013 at 7:32 am

    hi,u sound like my kind of person

  45. ibukungeorge

    April 2, 2013 at 5:42 am

    May God grant us all our wishes.This days i find myself staring into space daydreaming [email protected] very funny but true.May we not go to hell in Jesus name

  46. Sassy

    April 23, 2013 at 8:02 pm

    I wish that my president would fess up and hunt down the terrorists like he should, I wish never to hear the sound of a generator or have to use an inverter ever again, I wish I could get over my fear of heartbreak and love my fiancé as I should, I wish I had enough money to send my parents on trips abroad often, I wish I had so much money that I could have the best damn (excuse my french pls), I wish my dad would see reason and not insist on inviting the whole world to my “small” wedding! Phew! If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

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