Connect with us

Features

BN Hot Topic: So Are We Dating Now?

Atoke

Published

 on

Last night, I watched an Edward Norton movie- “Keeping The Faith“. Two friends, (a rabbi – Jake and a priest -Brian) get a call from their old friend, Anna. Now, Anna hooks up with Jake and they start having sex. They both agree to keep the relationship on the down low for two reasons – Jake’s vocation and well… they didn’t know how Brian would take it so they decide to keep him out of the loop. On a movie date, Jake runs into his synagogue members and he calls Anna his “buddy”. They have a mock fight as they leave the cinema because she’s supposedly mad at the way he treated her in the presence of other people. They laugh it off saying “It’s a good thing we’re not going out!”

So how do relationships start? Back in the days, it was a lot of letters, tapping of Nitel phones and plenty sneaking off during teenagers fellowship, just to name a few. I recall a a few of these as being the official relationhip starters back then:

I would like us to go steady
Would you go out with me?
Please be my number 1” *whispers* Someone actually said this to BN’s Jennifer 😉

It is presumed that once the response was “yes”, the relationship is deemed to have commenced from the date of acquiescence. Thus, marks the date upon which anniversaries are based. However, it is not always cut and dried. There are times when both people haven’t actually defined what they’re doing but their relationship has all the elements of “dating” like Jake and Anna in “Keeping The Faith”.
So, when you meet a couple who can’t tell you the date of their “anniversary”, there’s the urge to ask “so how did you know when you guys started dating?” With the age of social media, and what is now referred to as “Setting P”, it is easy to assume (either erroneously or otherwise) that once the both parties have come to some form of understanding that they’re in a relationship.

“Did he ask you out?” “No, not really. But we just kind of evolved and both of us knew where we were going”
I was running this topic by a couple of my friends and they were very cynical (yeah, I know I need to change my friends!) One of them said “Why would you be deluding yourself when the guy hasn’t said specifically that he wants to be in a relationship? Call me old school but if a guy doesn’t toast me in the traditional way, I’m not referring to him as my boyfriend oh! Na there problem dey take start and you’ll start playing roles that you’re not supposed to and now find out that there’s a numero Uno coming from Manchester every weekend to see her man”

My other friend, a guy, said “both of you are adults na! Does anybody still do the whole song and dance of will you be my girlfriend? in this day and age? Besides, if you rely on that and throw a tantrum, what’s the guarantee that he hasn’t asked 3 other girls the same questions. Sometimes you just know, deep in your gut that this person is yours”

What do you guys think? When does a relationship actually start? Are you Team Let’s Infer Based on the Facts Before Us? or Team Spell It out Loud and Clear? Oh, and before I forget, what were some of the relationship starting quotes you heard back then?

Let’s discuss

Photo Credit: thegrio.com

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

148 Comments

  1. dontmention

    March 21, 2013 at 2:49 pm

    Well, me n my boyfriend sort of inferred……..he asked me out but wasn’t quite straight to de point, after a few weeks of talking, he blurted out de three magic words, I said thank you. The day I said it back to him, which was a little over a week later, is de day we knew we were both in a relationship and dat day is our anniversary ……..we hav been dating five months now n we hav already had our share of disagreements but I love how we resolve our issues, so far its great……..n back in de days, I heard in pidgin “I wan make we be ” “I want u to b ma one n only ” ….hahahahahahhahahaha
    vikkyscreed.blogspot.com

  2. Africhic

    March 21, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Tell me about it……..I’m in this kind dilemma currently are we friends or official. Till he says something for ne there’s no exclusivity!

    • If you are a wedding lover/enthusiast visit my wedding blog @ www.cakesbymizvuitton.blogspot.com

      March 22, 2013 at 1:39 pm

      Well I’m of the opinion that a man that wants you will chase you…. Unashamedly and Unabashedly. That way it’s clear right from the onset. Don’t give up the goodies (and by goodies I mean time and attention and not necessarily sex). When he asks you out u can now take your time to know him and if u like what you see, say yes. The hanging out should be post-toasting not pre-toasting

  3. How to know when you are going out? Simply ask – Are we dating? How do we define this relationship? What exactly are we doing here?
    Regardless of how you ask the question, just ask. And don’t give it up until you are clear on the answer.
    Better to ask bluntly than to put yourself on a long thing o.

    http://dprodigaldaughter.com/

    • Miss Tee

      March 21, 2013 at 8:50 pm

      #GBAM Thank you!!

    • Oge Chikwendu

      March 25, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      i totally agree.

    • yelp

      March 29, 2013 at 1:10 am

      True

  4. naijapose.com

    March 21, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Team let’s spell it out Loud and Clear. Although sometimes, because the relationship is complicated you just want it to evolve.

  5. Tessymila

    March 21, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Well, for me a guy has to pop d question 2 avoid d day he says “but i neva asked u 2 b my girlfrnd” cos guys can be rily funny. Its not always good 2 assume.

    • madman

      March 21, 2013 at 3:15 pm

      hehe… well stated.

  6. Positive

    March 21, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    Ladies: If a guy doesn’t ask you out, you are only assuming.
    Communication is key to EVERY relationship.
    If he wants you to be exclusive, he’ll let you know.
    Till then enjoy getting to know each other….. Na you sabi to which level… 🙂

    • Miss Eloquent

      March 21, 2013 at 6:16 pm

      You are right an extent; However, be very careful with the ‘enjoying the getting to know each other’ because you dont want to get your emotions too involved meanwhile the guys isn’t really interested in you like that.. the more you get to know someone, the more you are attached..Don’t waste your time with a guy who doesn’t know what he wants and can’t speak out his intentions clearly..

  7. Neo

    March 21, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    I’m a tad OCD, so i used to like having things defined, knowing where one ended and where another began, but my current relationship kinda snuck up on me. All i know today is that i have a bf but for the life of me i cannot tell you when we crossed the line from “friends” to boyfriend and girlfriend (who cannot be going on awoof dates with toasters anymore *sighs*)
    But i’d say i’m still an advocate for “bia, bros wazup?”. It doesnt have to be a “will u go out with me” but u can still sit and have the where is this headed talk. if u’re shy, try it my way and jus casually let it drop that this fine bros has been stopping by ur ofc one too many times asking u if u’d like to see a movie. With any luck u will have another frequent visitor at ur ofc checking up on his girlfriend and errr protecting his investment.

    • Sarah

      March 21, 2013 at 6:30 pm

      I am confused. How does that make you a tad OCD? Oxford dictionary is your friend o.

    • Ready

      March 22, 2013 at 2:12 pm

      She said she’s a tad OCD so….not, “I’m a tad OCD because”. Hian, take out the log from thine eyes first…

  8. madman

    March 21, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    This comment here made me laugh “Sometimes you just know, deep in your gut that this person is yours.” ahahaha – God forbid, the feeling is not mutual, and is only one-sided. Ladies, pls don’t be quick to make assumptions and assumptions are not good. I think that if the guy is interested, he will spell it out clearly.

  9. hmm

    March 21, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    From experience do not go out with a guy that has not officially asked you…..that how i was with a supposedly ‘good firnd/guy’ After a while when i asked him a question cos of how he was behaving..do you know what he said?…I never asked you ot!..your not my girlfriend! an within 2 weeks he had an official girlfriend….ladies dont be fooled any guy that does not come out to say it is just playing with you and leaving his option open incase he comes across something ‘better’…also happened to a cousin of mine and they were on for 5 years but guess what, the guy never officially asked her out and my coz thought all this while she was in a relationship…….its like acting wif when a guy hasnt taken you to get a marriage certificate

  10. hmm

    March 21, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    From experience do not go out with a guy that has not officially asked you…..that is how i was with a supposedly ‘good friend/guy’ After a while when i asked him a question cos of how he was behaving..do you know what he said?…I never asked you out!..your not my girlfriend! an within 2 weeks he had an official girlfriend….ladies dont be fooled any guy that does not come out to say it is just playing with you and leaving his options open incase he comes across something ‘better’…also happened to a cousin of mine and they were on for 5 years but guess what, the guy never officially asked her out and my coz thought all this while she was in a relationship…….its like acting wife when a guy hasnt taken you to get a marriage certificate

    • Bleed blue

      March 21, 2013 at 4:02 pm

      Hian! You mean it oh…this one that you had to say it twice…

  11. madman

    March 21, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    I’m a guy and somewhat in this situation, we “set P” on twitter, email each other everyday, talk on skype…. but I’m still taking my time in asking her out. Though it’s obvious what I’m trying to achieve, I like that she’s not boldly said to me: “will you ask me out already?”

    • Africhic

      March 21, 2013 at 4:25 pm

      I’m in a similar situation and I’m female. I don’t want to have to ask, and the wait is killing …….. I like things being defined. He has till May, in the meantime I’m still open to others

    • madman

      March 21, 2013 at 4:58 pm

      IIf sex is not involved yet, my advice to you is – pls wait, and enjoy your friendship with him. I don’t like all these “so-called” bold chicks, who appear desperate and always want to define everything on the first date. To me, it’s sexy to be subtle and just let things flow as they may. Goodluck to you!

    • Eddy

      March 9, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      lol @ he has till May, when he doesn’t even know he has a deadline 🙂

    • worried girl

      March 21, 2013 at 4:32 pm

      im in exactly this situation and our ‘relationship'(if you can call it that) involves sex and has been on for 7months and counting, nothing is defined, i really want to know if he is my boyfriend or friend with benefit (LOL) but i dont wanna also be one of these chick that go all ‘ where is this relationship headed to’ on a guy, on the other hand i know i love him and want to know, but i also dont want to scare him away.

    • madman

      March 21, 2013 at 4:55 pm

      If Bella permits me to respond here…. not judging you – but there’s a problem when there’s been 7 months of shagging with no clear definition. You are not a mind reader and he isn’t as well. He knows what you want – and you need to let him know that he can’t milk the cow for free. Have a conversation with him, I’d advice you here. If there’s sex, you have to “force” him to spell it out. When a man is not ready, he will do everything he can to waste time – this includes leaving you confused. Not out of spite, or him trying to be a player,”but just because he’s not ready and this includes “free sex” while keeping the other party confused. When a man is ready, he quickly wants to define things. The reason why I’m taking things slow with my “girl” if I may call her that, is because I’m out of Nigeria on work assignment and she is in Nigeria…. I really like her, but I don’t want to ask her out when we are miles apart. Anything can happen. She might meet someone else, I might too, or we can wait for each other. One thing I know is that we both like each other. Until I’m sure that work won’t keep us apart, I’d rather take things slow.

    • Bleed Blue

      March 21, 2013 at 7:34 pm

      Please can we vote “madman” the Real Talk Guy of the decade? I’m just loving his male perspective. It’s pretty cool to hear from a guy when most of us commentators on BN are of the female specie and as such tend to (tend to oh, not always) have views on the balance of female experiences. #JusSayin’

    • anonymous4

      March 30, 2013 at 5:22 am

      Babe its best u ask him to define it because boys are funny. i had a boyfriend who when things went sour started saying he never asked me out and that one didnt even involve sex so its best you know now so if he starts acting funny or whatever you’ll pack your things and leave. its better to be alone than to be with a dushbag who’ll only waste your time

    • Mama Put

      March 23, 2013 at 9:50 am

      These situations have always worked for me because until the guy asks me out, I refer to him as MY FRIEND which they hate! I don’t get physical and clearly say we are friends! Even if I like him! I don’t give him any boyfriend benefits until he officially states his intentions, asks me, I agree and he introduces me and treats me as such! When you set clear boundaries, no matter how deeply you have fallen, guy is forced to define the relationship! And if he was there for rubbish in the first place, he will leave! Worked for me Everytime. So, I’ve never had this dilemma.

    • Purpleicious Babe

      March 26, 2013 at 1:58 am

      I just hope “madman” has communicated this with the “girl” oo.. That she is aware that things are being slow for logical reasons……

  12. Berry Dakara

    March 21, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    THE TALK has to happen before you determine that you’re in a relationship. You can “be with” a guy for one year, and all of a sudden, he pops up with a girlfriend that he met 3 weeks ago! If you have not both expressly agreed to a relationship, then you’re only fooling yourself. Like I say over and over – If you don’t know if you’re official/exclusive, then you’re NOT official/exclusive.

    http://berrydakara.blogspot.com

  13. www.anemistyle.com

    March 21, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    I guess in today’s age it is official when he spells it loud and clear, for all you know you he might be seeing other people. A simple way to find out is to ask… Hey Segun are we exclusive? His answer will help define the relationship.

  14. everydaygirl

    March 21, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    being on the same page in any relationship is key! I like my relationships well defined, so let the guy toast me and let me say yes or no…that way nobody gets embarrassed when being introduced to friends n relations.
    @dontmention I totaly relate to how your relationship started, the only difference is that mine was straight to the point but I was like…let’s see where it goes.
    will be 7months in 5 days and I’m in a haapy place right now!

  15. muysam

    March 21, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Team Spell It out Loud and Clear. Thats what I support.

    • Person

      March 21, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      #GBAM. Some girls be tripping especially when it is sexual. Ain’t nothing like that o!

  16. engr

    March 21, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    the major problem now is ladies feel like as soon as they spread there legs it is official. the world is now upside down!

  17. NIRA

    March 21, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    If you want to date a girl,ask her out. Don’t assume she knows what you want. I still believe in being asked out o! I won’t assume cos we’re friends,that I’m your girlfriend.

  18. Abimbola Dare

    March 21, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    Hmm, my husband too was doing corner-corner with me when we were “dating.” he didn’t want to call it out. One day, I said to him, look, I have a date with some hot dude. Can you help me pick what to wear. He vexed, said, why are u going out with someone else. I said, because u and i are not an item na, abi are we?

    Lets just say, after that, things became clear with us. A woman has to know where she stands, either u force the guy to say it, or u use style, like i did. 😉

    • nan

      March 22, 2013 at 11:35 am

      i love your method will def try it out………….. heheheheheheh

    • Jamce

      March 23, 2013 at 12:23 am

      @ Abimbola Dare, Smart babe, very skillful way of exploiting the typical jealous male ego. Am laughing. Kudos gurl.

  19. Madam the Madam

    March 21, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    Please please, spell it LOUD and CLEAR abeg. These men that will use you to do filmshow, you can’t be there assuming and dull yourself. We had better have that talk and define the relationship, cos me I’m not for that “going with the flow” mentality. No time.

  20. x factor

    March 21, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Lol @ tapping NITEL telephone box…..Atoke you remind me of something…..

  21. ij

    March 21, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    proudly carrying the “team Spell It out Loud and Clear” banner please let us not assume anything

  22. id

    March 21, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    I think he should just declare it (idan shi ba barawo baneh), I assumed once, its bitter experience. I mean he is d man, so, its natural 2 declare biko. If der is a delay den der is problem o.

  23. Richard Akintunde

    March 21, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    Relationship does not start on the forst day you guys go out on a date. No, the date might be just a normal social or casual date. Ladies please don’t get it twisted, the fact that a guy asked you out on a date does not mean he wants to go into a relationship with you. Relationship should be a mutual thing. The two parties involve must strike a cord and agree to be involved. Its a pity nowadays that you see ladies believing that they are in a relationship with a guy just because the guy asked them out or simply because they pressumed the guy has intention to enter into relationship with them. The question is, has he categorically told you he loves you and wanted to enter into a loving relationship with you? No…….

    • madman

      March 21, 2013 at 5:01 pm

      wait, a man has to tell you he loves you first? No kidding – you slay me with laughter. hahaha! I’m only saying this to the woman that I plan to marry. Girls these days open their thighs without you saying anything so why do you have to tell someone you love them before you enter relationship with them? #oldskooltinz

    • Berry Dakara

      March 21, 2013 at 7:47 pm

      Thank you o! I don’t understand how love comes before you’re in a relationship.

    • Wizzy

      March 22, 2013 at 9:28 am

      Make plenty sense, that he acknowledges that u guys re an item make no relevance.

    • Eve

      April 30, 2013 at 9:13 am

      Madman e be like say u get PhD for this kind matter. More groundnut oil to ur elbow 🙂

    • sefi-ann

      March 21, 2013 at 6:12 pm

      the ‘forst’ though??? *sighh*

    • Bella Diva

      March 21, 2013 at 6:37 pm

      Very well said, women please pay attention and let us stop assuming stuff.

  24. eniola

    March 21, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    TEAM DEFINITION!

  25. pynk

    March 21, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    better confirm before you carry load for head.

  26. www.lifetrumylens.com

    March 21, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    I’m definitely for team spell it out before he will shock u by introducing u to his ‘official’ girlfriend after 4 years lol

  27. oluchy

    March 21, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    Abeg, l am in team loud n clear o. No assumptions.

  28. Not Pleased

    March 21, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    I am in the same boat. Been in an evolved to nothing relationship for 5 years now. We decided to date but things went sideways. I have just cut everything off because I am not getting any younger, i am emotionally drained for anytime i wonder why things are in a certain way, i get the “we are not in a relationship” response… I tire

  29. Anon

    March 21, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    Team spell it out loud and clear, ain’t nobody got time for all that wondering are we or aren’t we. Can’t deal with that kind of stress abeg

  30. shenugs

    March 21, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    Please we are all adults abeg. If we were friends from the beginning and all of a sudden start getting intimate then the talk must be had o. But then some guys will say u will scare them away if u ask. So what exactly is it that y’all are doing? Is it a relationship or a friends with benefits type of thing? If after three months of being intimate he doesnt say a word then i’ll have to device a means to get him to talk. Probably start leaving the room to take phone calls or not picking some calls when he’s around. He should be forced to speak out then probably start asking questions and then i’ll be like so are we in a relationship? He should be forced to ask then. At least it wouldn’t have come directly from me so i won’t be blamed for trying to scare him away.

  31. Didi

    March 21, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    my so called boyfriend asked me out and he even went to the extend of introducing me to his families and friends, we also made so many agreement among ourselves. we’ve been dating for 3 month now and all of a sudden he changed his attitude towards me for no reason, he stop calling, i even asked him what have done wrong, but he refuse to give me any answer. so u see is a two way tin. He ask or he no ask what will be will be.

    • Ashani

      March 21, 2013 at 8:40 pm

      Gba!!

    • chichi

      March 22, 2013 at 1:05 am

      lmao..i love you!!

    • Ready

      March 22, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      I doubt anyone is saying once he asks you to be his girlfriend, that’s a guarantee of him never acting out or acting foolish. Heck, even husbands change their minds and attitudes. The idea is when he does that, he’ll know he’s breaking a commitment because he can’t pull the “we’re not in a relationship” crap.

    • Purpleicious Babe

      March 26, 2013 at 2:08 am

      @ least he asked u.. i guess the whole point is, should it be defined or assumed…. its not so much about whether it works or not.. Either way relationship is a two way thing..He didnt call u? Have u tried calling him or try asking his friends where he is? Afterall, he could have some deeper issues ooo or simply testing u. I dont know o.

      I am team SPELL IT OUT.. We are adults lets communicate “no biggie” but sha relationships are investments it worth doing things right….

      lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/

  32. Stella Kashmoney

    March 21, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Team spell it out and very clear. No confusion.

  33. @ajiriavae

    March 21, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    As much as I’m all for waiting and watching his behaviour to have a real understanding of what his motives are, I believe that it is important to, at some point in the relationship, when you are secure enough, to have the “where is this relationship going” conversation.

    ajiristyle.blogspot.com/

  34. Miss Eloquent

    March 21, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    Hmm guys and ladies, defining your relationship from the get go is always the best. If you and that special friend haven’t TALKED about your “relationship standing” plssss/Biko/Ejo never assume both of you are dating, because it only leaves jealousy, heartbreak and anger. We ladies are always guessing and trying to figure thing out on our own so guys, try to be straight forward and help us out..Don’t play games with somebody’s sister, daughter, niece..Open your mouths and make known your feelings..Don’t wait for the ladies to figure it out..get it!
    Some ladies might ask ‘when do you know when to start defining the relationship?’ When your emotions are seriously getting involved and you can tell the guy has interests as well. I’m not saying after talking to a guy for 3 days, u start asking ‘ehh are we dating now?’ mba!! we are all adults so let’s discern properly. I am a very traditional person, so if a guy is interested in me he has to pursue me and CLEARLY state what his intentions are. Until we have a mature conversation regarding what we feel about each other and where we stand..WE ARE NOT EXCLUSIVE. thats all 😀

  35. Yinka

    March 21, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    Im team spell it out abeg……made that mistake once…I was introduced to his whole family…we went to events together like a couple…… so.I asked him for clarification about our relationship and he started stuttering saying he’s not ready for commitment.

  36. Queen of Everything

    March 21, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    Please, for the sake of sanity, dignity and integrity you gotta find out, be clear and define it from the get go. and set boundaries!!!
    I went to a “Can we just be friends” event – you will be surprised how many ladies are in ambiguous relationships – he’s not my boyfriend but we are not just friends. someone is bound to get hurt at the end of the day. If he can’t make up his mind about you – wave him goodbye and keep walking.
    You have to take care of your heart 1st.

  37. Fea

    March 21, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    With my ex boyfriend he never asked me me out. We sort of got to the point where we knew we were exclusive.and how did we know? There was a time he got jealous of me talking to a certain guy and I was like but why do you care? And he said I care cos you are MY GIRl. The ” I love you” came way later after that and it was really genuine… And that has been my best relationship thus far… So sad we had to break after 4 years due to some reasons I don’t want to get into

  38. anonymous

    March 21, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    well i’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over two years, but we started of as ‘friends with benefits’ with time we developed feelings for each other and realised it was way more than that. however, along the way.. whenever my friends came to report him to me about his mischievous actions with other girls i never really had a say because i wasn’t his “girlfriend” until he asked me out . therefore, i still agree with the traditional way of a guy asking a girl out because its better t be clear and know you’re number one in his life because if the feelings aren’t mutual you could end up being heart broken

  39. dapsy

    March 21, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    Me thinks it all depends on the dynamics of the “so-called” relationship. I dated a guy who did all the “will you be my girlfriend thing” and alas na once chance. On the other hand, my “now husband” didn’t really ask me out, our relationship sort of evolved! I am sure, knowing teh kind of person he is, if I were waiting for the “will you be my girlfriend line, ha! I will still be waiting o! All I am saying is to each is own, follow your instincts, they are never wrong and don’t let society or freinds dictate to you what’s good for you.

  40. dapsy

    March 21, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    Me thinks it all depends on the dynamics of the “so-called” relationship. I dated a guy who did all the “will you be my girlfriend thing” and alas na one chance. On the other hand, my “now husband” didn’t really ask me out, our relationship sort of evolved! I am sure, knowing the kind of person he is, if I were waiting for the “will you be my girlfriend line, ha! I will still be waiting o! All I am saying is to each his own, follow your instincts, they are never wrong and don’t let society or friends dictate to you what’s good for you.

  41. Tenioluwa

    March 21, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    I hope you’re aware that those ‘mischievous actions with other girls’ will continue on into marriage. Shine your eye…

  42. nnenna

    March 21, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Interesting read. My own “two pence ” is, hoping everyone is responsibly enjoying benefits.HIV is real. “Benefit” responsibly, biko. Yeah for “I ain’t no mind reader”. Everyone has to be on the same page. Teams work better that way.

  43. Babydoc

    March 21, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Interesting article but the correct phrase is “put to bed”, not “put to birth”. An easy alternative is “gave birth to”.

  44. Joy

    March 21, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    Rara ati Rara! U dnt ask me out we r nt in any rship n no flirting

  45. ufuoma

    March 21, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    Well truth of the matter is if a guy is into you within a month max two months he will be the one asking you to please be exclusive with him. If you have to chase for clarification then don’t bother as your need to chase has answered your question gbam!

  46. Tomi

    March 21, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Team spell it out Loud and Clear oh. These guys know how to turn the table around when things go bad. They will just ask you a simple question ” DID I ASK YOU OUT? Then you look like a fool. Abeg expereince is the best teacher, but not a good one.

  47. Frida

    March 22, 2013 at 1:51 am

    A guy once asked me why I hadn’t asked him where it was going, after a few months of hanging out, movies, dancing … o_O. I laughed in his face and told him “Why should I ask you where this is going? If I have to ask: it’s not going any where”. I threw him off, he had never received that response before. Make up your mind, if you want, you have to ask. And ask properly too.

  48. ho ha

    March 22, 2013 at 3:05 am

    TEAM LOUD N CLEAR..Ho ha..all these corner corner–after the first few dates you will kind of get a feeling on if u wanna continue n see yourself in a relationship with this person . then simply open your mouth n say the words loud n clear…if he hasn’t said it leave it to be friends n continue your life..Don’t get girls these days asking a guy out-are u for real?

    A though ques..imagine u guys hanging out n he sees a friend of his-will he say meet my friend or girlfriend??be real with yourself abeg

  49. Knut

    March 22, 2013 at 3:24 am

    Hmmmm…. Atoke, you want Banky W to define things abi? I don’t blame you jare…. all those Lagos groupies. Let us know how it goes 😉

  50. Happy

    March 22, 2013 at 4:58 am

    This topic always comes to my mind whenever someone ask me so how long have you been with your boyfriend? Haha i just say since july. Story is when i met my boo we was just friends like he was my bestie we talked everyday and then he went on a week long trip and when he came back we said i missed you to each other. Thats when i knew i like him cuz i was really fighting it. I already knew he liked me before he left he was too obvious lol. So wen he came back from his trip we was together everyday so i asked him what are we and where is this going he told me to calm down i said ok then few weeks later it was obvious we was together because we acted like bf n gf. Then i said well we need a date as i want an anniversary date (women) then he asked me that day so that we coul have a date. 6 months later we was gisting bout us n how we happened can u imagine this boy said he knew he wanted to be with me since the first day we spoke. That he dint wana ask me out to scared me away as i just came out of a bad breakup few mnth before which is true my x Messed up real bad and i was in this i hate boys mode and my boo knew as we was besties. Me on the other hand I was fighting my feelings for him n even told God i dont want him in my life. But today HE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

    • ArabianPrincess

      March 22, 2013 at 11:23 am

      Can U please write well? What is the point of ‘we was’ and improper punctuation all over.

    • Happy

      March 22, 2013 at 2:10 pm

      Must you read my comment??????? Is it by force???? Abeg park far……. See painment!!!!! If ur bored go an fry ice cubes mtchewwwwwwwwwwwww @ blue bleed you dunoooo lol

    • Bleed blue

      March 22, 2013 at 1:38 pm

      LMAO! East London swagger “we was together”. It remains “innit bruv”

  51. Abiola

    March 22, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Nice @Happy…its so obvious you are happy and enjoying your relationship, likewise me, i have me ‘ the bestest, sweetest,loveliest, caring, understanding man in my life’ @ first when we met, i didn’t know it would turn out this way cus i was doing shakara and i made it clear from the onset ;the definition of our relationship’…..so i support TEAM DEFINITION

    • Happy

      March 23, 2013 at 12:14 am

      Wa gbayi that was me all over. Enjoy it babe you deserve it *hugs*

  52. Saliu

    March 22, 2013 at 9:02 am

    “…there’s a numero Uno coming from Manchester every weekend to see her man…”

    Hmn

  53. Nubian

    March 22, 2013 at 9:05 am

    I always want to kno my place in people’s life so dat I can act accordingly,I try not to over step my boundaries be cos the role I wanna assume may not be for me.# self respect#

  54. zahrae

    March 22, 2013 at 9:47 am

    i really miss the days when my toasters sent me love letters expressing their love,pple dnt do that these days……i dnt like to assume things….if a guy doesnt ask me to be his gf verbally, we remain friends…..and i really hate the whole BBM love thing…..it gets on my nerves. i guess am just a traditional/old sch kinda girl..SPELL IT LOUD & CLEAR!!!!

  55. ‘When a man is not ready, he will do everything he can to waste time – this includes leaving you confused’…i concurr with Madman. and the odds are when he is ready;you are unlikely the pick or choice…also Didi has got a point;una define am from start una no define am o;if e reach to waka;even if you’ve get glue for dre;e no go holo am!

  56. *got* pardon the error

  57. fysti

    March 22, 2013 at 10:34 am

    That he introduces u to his family is not the most important thing.The most important thing is to spell out ur relationship right from the begining n if it will work,it will and if not,so be it.

  58. shya rhodes

    March 22, 2013 at 10:39 am

    i am ready o infact i wan marry lol

  59. blue

    March 22, 2013 at 10:48 am

    hmmmn 🙂 I’m really digesting all the good, bad and ugly BN relationship stories+comments and hoping my happily_ever_after story is coming up soon. Cause this babe is 22 and hasn’t had a FIRST real bf. #WaitingForHim#

  60. adaeze

    March 22, 2013 at 10:57 am

    iv been with my boyfriend 4 years now, but i really cant remember when he actually asked me out, but i knew he was interested in me, and initially i just wanted to have a fling but before i knew it, i was neck deep. but i can say it was around the month of june we kinda moved it to “the next level”, so we just use JUNE as our annivesary. There was really no “spell it out” kind of moment, but through his actions and subtle words i knew.

  61. Deedee

    March 22, 2013 at 11:16 am

    This is such an interesting topic and I’m glad I chanced upon it. I am also in the same situation where this guy and I do things like girlfriend and boyfriend. But we haven’t clearly defined what we are doing, so now I find myself confused as to what is happening. I know I like him alot and I know he also likes me too…. So after having read all the responses I think I’m going to ask him what’s happening between us.

  62. omotee

    March 22, 2013 at 11:49 am

    all well y’all.
    i met this guy while i was doin my decor and we became friends cos the work needed both contributions. And so i had to do the decor of their church most of the time so he would always call me. so weneva he calls i wil accuse him that “sebi u nid ma help abi, so wat now?” after that he started callin just to say hi and if i tel y’all that we wake and sleep each other with calls, pings and txt msg nko? i tot i was ontop of the world. well his sister’s weddin came up sme mths later and he was on my neck to assist in the food and drinks wich i did well. one of his sisters said “we’ll doin ur own too oo”( was wishing it was mine n the guy she meant) and i jst smiled, hmm. bt b4 then he told me about a gurl he askd out who was later convinced by her sis and mum to accept him b4 she travelled and despite knowin that, i tot well, lets see ow it goes. so we kinda got intimate over time. bt after like a year, i asked him wats d situation on ground as i’m not goin younger oo and he kinda tot i was forceful or sth and i jst fashid his side.
    Meanwhile, we went to see a friend of his together and the guy liked me and he introduced us n gave him ma contact wit ma approval and lo and behold the friend was jst buggin me for almost 2yrs. sme mths bak, the friend was talkn about marriage and i kinda wanted to give in bt mehn! he’s a no-no both spiritual and physical. well after abadoning ma 1daful friend, we met again on ma street and i gave him sme speech cos i was hurting. so he called me and i forgave him cos he said he dint know his friend intention at that point. well till now, we are still talkn bt i’ve jst minimised ma affection for him bt ow i wish sth could jst happen cos he’s d best thing that ever happend at least stil now. dnt knw wat tmrw might bring. he’s such a light to ma heart and ma heart jumps for joy at his sight and he goes all gaga weneva he sees me. dis i knw.

  63. jayla

    March 22, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    lmao….hilarious comments, my bf and I met through a mutual friend and we exchanged numbers and started talkn for hours on a regular, I told him i didnt want a bf but after 3mnths I was already in love with him and asked him what we were and how he wld define our relationship, and he said, “i’m in love with you and if anyone asks, you are the love of my life” i laughed and said i loved him too, that day is our annivesary and we’ve been together for 4yrs now, we’re both 24, i believe as an adult u have to spell out your relationship so you know where you stand with the person.

  64. Folu R.

    March 22, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    A guy I meet at the gym every weekend sent me this text ‘Falling in love with you is the second best thing in the world, coz finding you was the first my priceless gem.’ What am I to make of the text? I didn’t reply because he has not asked me out and I am the traditional girl. I need the relationship to be defined from the outset. We have never gone on a date and the only time we communicate is when we see at the gym on Saturday. Then I saw the text and I am a bit confused cos we don’t even talk that much when we see. What do I make of this? I am almost feeling he’s trying to play with me

    • Wee

      March 22, 2013 at 11:12 pm

      I am feeling he is about to play with you too. One, he doesn’t know you well enough to ‘fall in love’ with you yet (and also claim it’s the 2nd best thing in the world for him) if your meetings are only these Saturday gym ones. Two, if it’s real, how about saying it face to face where the eyes could be read (You can tell a lot about emotions by looking into some people’s eyes)

      Not saying no good may come out of his intentions…just saying ‘ shine your eyes, head and heart’

  65. mama mia

    March 22, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    People like us wey no get booo nkoo?

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      March 23, 2013 at 1:50 am

      LMAO!!

    • Specs

      March 23, 2013 at 9:39 am

      Abi ooo…I just dey read story dey go!!! lols.

    • beautycee

      March 9, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      i tire oh! make we go hang?

  66. Cee

    March 22, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    Not only did my current fiancee, then boyfriend, state his intentions to date me, he asked me out and sealed the question with a sterling silver heart-shaped necklace! Talk about naija guy being romantic!! It is very important that a guy defines his relationships with a girl if not she’s more likely wasting her time than he is because most guys will walk after testing the waters (note: it can be tested in different ways). A male friend sought my advice to ask his girlfriend out and till today I duff my hat to him because he knew it was the right thing to do even though they had been ‘dating’ for a few weeks/month. Today that same friend is days away from asking his girlfriend’s father for her hand in marriage! Summary of my stories? The saying goes that ‘whatever is NOT written down does not exist, this can be extrapolated to include MOST TIMES that whatever is NOT stated (and only ‘inferred’) does not exist! Let him ask ladies, he who finds a wife finds a good thing.. if he is serious about you, asking will be a walk in the park!

  67. Jelly

    March 22, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    when i meet my husband alittle over 3weeks of calling, hanging out we had the real talk of what we both wanted. we spelt it out – u and i are in this together to see how we can create a beautiful relationship. If it works out fine if not we say goodbye. We courted for 3years and now we married for 2yrs, its been an experience ever since.
    In my opinion, girl meet boy and they like each other, search ur heart, know your intentions and talk about it. Never assume. yes am traditional like that “He needs to tell me what he wants from me”… 🙂

  68. janet

    March 22, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    it depends on d man, d last person i had asked me out properly i even tld him i ws not interested cuz i was scared after much love promises we started dating after getting intimate with me [sex] he started acting funny he later tld me dat he had another gal[ after he told me dat he ws single earlier] den he tld me he wanted 2 knw who he like btw d 2 of us den he came out straight dat he never asked me out, i felt like a fool cuz dat ws d higest insult i got, he did all d jealous issue him not wanting 2 see me wit any man so was not like i assumed i felt dat ws another category of men and their behaviours.

  69. Mint

    March 22, 2013 at 7:39 pm

    Lol… very interesting… keep it coming people!

  70. jyde

    March 22, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    If women want to know where they stand,then they had better ask.
    Men are greedy and will quite gladly continue to enjoy ourselves as much as possible
    until we are confronted with the inevitable question.
    Thats not me though as ive got delicate feelings which are easily hurt.
    You women can be so cruel these days.(wipes teears and heads back into its kennal).

    • Magz

      April 22, 2013 at 10:27 am

      jyde, i appreciate & respect the way u think & comment on here. God bless u. btw, do u av a girlfriend? *bats eyelashes*

  71. just saying

    March 22, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    I met my husband when I was 21 I thought and still thinks he is the most amazing thing to walk the earth. I knew from day 1 that he liked me and I was sold from hello. Somehow we remained friends for 2 years with all the little outings and gifts in between. One beautiful evening a hug became a kiss and I desperately wanted it to be for real. It was a bit awkward at first and a few weeks later I was meeting the parents. Guess things just flowed from there. Basically some guys are good and some are just HORRIBLE, so whether things are defined or not a bad bobo will always be bad and a good one will be just that. So i guess girls need to be more cautious when picking guys. If it doesnt feel right then guess what? it might NOT be right

    • Oge Chikwendu

      March 25, 2013 at 2:09 pm

      bad bobo will be bad bobo…hahahahaha but completely true.

  72. taiwo akin

    March 23, 2013 at 1:08 am

    understanding the relationship is verrry important
    #TEAM SPELL IT OUT LOUD N CLEAR

  73. Nina

    March 23, 2013 at 5:40 am

    I met my husband 8 years ago. I did my IT in the office where he worked. We started out as just friends but when he decided to take it to the next level, he asked me to marry him. I just laughed it off and told him that you cannot ask someone you have known for only 1 month to marry you. I told him that it is better we start with dating. I never knew he was serious. We dated for 5 years before we got married. He said that he wanted to marry me from the first day he met me but i was too young (19 years at that time), still in the University and he was not all that financially stable. I think it’s best the relationship is defined from the start.

  74. gabby

    March 23, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    Never liked the guys that spelled it out to me. Always preferred to just let it catch up on us.. Well for me, actions were always more important. 98% of my dates back then happened that way without me on the losing end. My hubby never verbally asked me out till he proposed 2yrs after, btw we had/have a very solid, loving, sweet and perfect relationship( as regards what we felt for each other). We could have done anything for each other even now.
    So well, i think it may be safe to spell things out clearly from the beginning, it just doesn’t appeal to every one.

  75. mimiee

    March 25, 2013 at 10:32 am

    Thank you all for your comment.

  76. mimiee

    March 25, 2013 at 10:37 am

    Thank you all for your comment. I can proudly say that i have pick up so many things to relate to. i am currently in a relationship where the guy i met 4months ago .He doesn’t want to define what we are doing. i know what to do now … and may God see me through.

  77. JIFE

    March 25, 2013 at 11:15 am

    @MADMAN God bless you for me…….The fact is a man who really wants u, will neva leave u confused bt instead he would want to define what u guys share so u both knw what u are getting into….

  78. JIFE

    March 25, 2013 at 11:56 am

    IF U NOR DEFINE D FRIENDSHIP AND U GO ABOUT DOIN WIFEY DUTIES…MY DARLING U R MOST LIKELY ON YOUR OWN O.

  79. HRS

    March 25, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    @Folu R, omo mehn, that text na wash##### Until he comes to ask u out properly and u know get to know him and genuinely assure yourself he isn’t out to play, don’t act on it!

    For me, it’s #Team Define That Relationship#, If I’m going steady with a guy and we are wole, wode (yoruba term for going out together everywhere) and we acting all bf/gf ish, without him saying anything, I will ask o! I will not like to enter Mogbe Modaran situation or Oh my goyst! after he says “Oh, I thot we were besties”, I would just have a stylish way of asking or making him say it, like @Abimbola Dare, I doff my hat for that method, true or not, it will work out. U can imagine the pain that comes with him finally revealing to u that he likes another girl, yet u have been “acting girlfriend”…

    U weeee be playing gf/bf game on a long thing, while rejecting possible good offers, the guy weee now come and say “we are friends”, choi! And if u do that “friends with benefit” ish, No offense, but that’s slutty and thrashy, what are u? “Play station 2?” #Just saying mehn

    Life is toooooo short; TEAM DEFINE THAT RELATIONSHIP!

  80. mia

    March 25, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    I once had a roommate who was friends with this guy. They had started the kissing thingy and romance but no sex, yet the guy had never popped the question. one day, she was ill and the guy came over to see her and it suddenly occurred to her to ask this guy the status of their relationship. The guy said “we’re friends now, or what do u think?” she walked the guy out of her house and cried her eyes out. About a month later, the guy then asked her out officially. moral lesson: define your relationships at all times, it makes you seem corny and strict but really it protects you against unnecessary heartbreaks and men need standards, get some ladies!

  81. Jivey Ivy

    March 25, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Why do we place so much power in the man? why must be he b d one to ask as such define the status of the relationship:)

    • Purpleicious Babe

      March 26, 2013 at 2:28 am

      Becos he is the MAN. Guys by nature tend to chase after what they want and when a guy knows what he wants, its easier (i think). Its random and sort of weird if not absurd for women to do the asking, some do it but i dont know if it kills the guy ego or makes him feel funny.

      I guess its tradition, culture and way of life for MEN to do the asking. Ask the Creator for deeper explanation..
      lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/

  82. rita edward

    March 25, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    I love all my men equally, from afar till one pops d question then i know who to smile and have sex.

  83. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 7:35 am

    I do not live on assumptions.he has to ask me me out.Though my romantic nature tends to assume but i always tame it down.You have to define the relationship.Have seen so many ladies sleeping with a so called friend and the guy brings wedding invitation to her.Babe breaks down crying’but i thought you love me?Guys replies back with shock on his face”But I never asked you out?Gbam!But he was enjoying freebies with her.`

  84. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 7:35 am

    I do not live on assumptions.he has to ask me me out.Though my romantic nature tends to assume but i always tame it down.You have to define the relationship.Have seen so many ladies sleeping with a so called friend and the guy brings wedding invitation to her.Babe breaks down crying’but i thought you love me?Guys replies back with shock on his face”But I never asked you out?Gbam!But he was enjoying freebies with her.`

  85. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 7:37 am

    Don’t be a girlfriend when you still a friend and don’t be a wifey when you still a girlfriend.

    • folashade akintayo

      July 19, 2013 at 2:05 pm

      my dear thank you. why is it that ladies are sooooo clouded and shy to these things. this days babes ask guys out, though i know some take it has a weakness and sort of use her , but you have to know him well enough. just ask, especially about 4 weeks of intimate friendship. it saves the heart, soul and mind.

  86. Primebabe

    March 26, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    well my case story is slightly different……he defined (without my asking) it but still dint put a ring on it…….lol. Then decided to break up with me ….and return.lol. It was then i asked him to define it a second time…….lets just say, he couldnt keep up :p….
    I AM ALL FOR DEFINITION……..

  87. FoFo

    March 29, 2013 at 1:42 am

    DEfinition is Key! 10/10 Besides

  88. Mimi

    March 29, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    If you don not spell it out, loud and clear. How am I suppose to know where I stand or abi mind reader?

  89. uglybug

    April 1, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    I think 90% of guys know what they want from a girl from the moment they meet and start to have a conversation (….at least I do….). I, like most guys hate being put on the spot……..I would rather our relationship evolves into exclusivity than sitting down after 1 week of talking and taking you out to define things……a beg oh!

  90. kunle

    April 3, 2013 at 10:50 am

    I NEED HEEEELP!!! I dated this babe like four years ago and the break up was nasty, my sisters embarrased her in school and I sent her a very insulting text message which also insulted her mum, her mum had been divorced and I told her she would end up like her mum, it was a very disgusting thing to do then, I loved this babe and i was deeply hurt because I heard she was cheating on me with someone in her school, I later found out it wasnt true. Few months after that, I saw her and I apologised to her and her mum, we kept in touch but we were no longer close. Fast forward to four years later; about a year ago, she met a friend of mine and they started dating, the guy proposed and travelled abroad, it was during this period their relationship began to have issues, we stayed friends all these while but recently we have started dating, she tells me she’s over the guy abroad but she wants me to be patient so she can break up with him in person when he comes back to Nigeria sometimes before june but my problem is why she cant just do it over the phone. She knew my mum was around during the break and she wanted to meet my mum so i introduced her, although her mum is against the relationship because she thinks I could still be the same person, the chic sure knows better otherwise she would never date me, I am shocked she wants us to do this again and I am committed 100% not to ever hurt her again. My fears are that I may be the back up plan but do women ever want to meet the mum of their back up plans?

    • Jamce

      April 5, 2013 at 7:50 am

      @Kunle, you may just be a back up plan like a Mugu1. What has introducing her to mum got to do with it? She cleverly hedging her bet. In any case, the same girl you dropped is dating your friend and you want to take her back, but she is still waiting to see the guy first before she finally make up her mind. Use your head and move on.

  91. Amaka

    April 4, 2013 at 10:29 am

    Team Spell It out Loud and Clear?

  92. ve

    April 5, 2013 at 5:34 am

    How abt wen he introduces u as his ‘baby’ …d guy am dating now, he neva asked me out verbally but acts lik we an item….the day I met his friends ,he kept tellin dem to meet his ‘baby’ …….not ‘gf’ don’t know if there is stil need to ask him wat we r doing

    • July

      April 27, 2013 at 3:19 am

      lol baby ooo

  93. Hot mama

    April 5, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    Very funny post indeed!!! two weeks after i met my partner, his couzin asked if we were a couple and i casually said naaa jst f-buddies…little did i know he took it very personal,and in his own words after a year “babe do u knw tht statement felt like in a stab in my chest”..hehehee…anyways i gave him panadol for his headache by asking him to clearly define our relationship so i can give a clear cut reply when next im asked the question…pls ask ooo before u look like billboard at d end of the day.

  94. bisi

    April 6, 2013 at 12:56 am

    Why would she want to play around with two guys that know each other? Its either she means business otherwise its a no win situation for her, guys talk

  95. Ibinabo

    April 8, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    Team Spell It out Loud and Clear. I’ve been a victim of assumption and it turned out so badly.

  96. Magz

    April 23, 2013 at 11:15 am

    one of the things i hate; DEFAULT RELATIONSHIP. he didn’t ask you out, you just slid into the relationship. it might have worked for some people but it cannot work for everybody. it’s not compulsory it has to be “will u be my girlfriend?” or “please be my girl”.
    My second boyfriend & i were (just) close friends to the point of rumours (if u get what i mean), still he asked me; it was ordinary “how would you feel if i pointed you out to my friends and said that’s my girlfriend?” that made it official!….lol!

    Biko, i’m team Spell it Loud and Clear. no matter how close we are, even if we are having sex, if u do not ask me to be your girlfriend, don’t think i will be emotionally tied to you because of the sex. if a good man (emphasis on GOOD) comes along and he asks me, that is the end of whatever is between us o.
    Ladies, if he does not talk, ask! if u are not bold enough to ask, pull an ‘Abimbola Dare’ on him and u know if he wants u as a girlfriend or not

  97. ify

    April 25, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    well! like someone said earlier, a guy who’s gonna misbehave will misbehave! my current bf and i started out as just friends and we grew into being “way more than friends”. Though he didn’t formally ask me into a relationship but i was introduced to his family members as “our wife”. it wasn’t till after some months that we had all the “where is this headed” talk. i must confess that this has been my best so far . The idea is that if you evolve from being just friends, after sometime you should be able to initiate the “defining our relationship” talk when you feel you two are getting very exclusive and possessive else you may just be introduced to the to-be wife!

  98. July

    April 27, 2013 at 3:18 am

    So are you dating now? Team Spell It out Loud and Clear?

  99. tilis

    April 27, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    Spell it out. It doesn’t hurt anyone to know to true state of things.

  100. Josh

    November 20, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    I beleive in taking things slow, coz u dont get to know what u really want in a girl just by her appearance. It takes time of knowing more of each other b4 popin the question #jussayin

  101. hmmm

    March 9, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Booboo asked me out via BBM (rme) 18 days after he randomly kissed me in his house (i was stranded, mum and sis were home too so i felt safe). Apparently he’d been drawn to me from our first meeting (me dt dinna remember his name for 2 weeks *covers face*, only knew him as “the cute one”). At the time i had just shut down a guy that was forming vague and undefined, while keeping my attention on him. I told Booboo about this right after he kissed me, and so the one month was to observe and see if it was for real for me. and it was.

    but i was bothered about the whole BBM thing o, even though he was doing all the bf/serious relationship things (introducing me to his momma, his siblings and his bestie, buying me stuff, going out etc) until one day i just started crying one afternoon to his utter confusion. i later explained why, and he just started professing love and sweetness to me, and clearly stated in plain English who i am to him. now m looking forward to marrying him and making cute babies with him 😀

    so yes, Team Spell It out Loud and Clear all the way. saves us a LOT of headache and heartache, plus it keeps us sane.

  102. beautycee

    March 9, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    a guy recently spelled it out with me in front of my sister and her hubby only to put me in a state of confusion after a month, i called, he didn’t pick, he kept saying he’s busy over a week. send sms no responds. i got tired, right now i have called it off. am just bothered abt my sister and her hubby, how they gonna feel abt it. cos the guy is a cousin to my inlaw’s friend.
    God knows that i tried to make it work. i gave in my best. but i guess it wasn’t enough for him. well you can never be good for a guy who is not ready.

    I only wanted to know what went wrong #crying#still hurt.
    i just need another relationship right now. am 28 and seriously searching.
    God help me. Amen.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php