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“But Your Father is A Minister Now!” – Are We Part of The Problem?

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Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer

It’s a Monday morning and I’d just finished my interview programme ‘Entrepreneur of the Week’. I dashed upstairs to go check if Bella Naija had published Atoke’s Monday Banter (God bless that lady for me, I always look forward to her exciting posts) only for me to see 8 missed calls from a close friend of mine. Monday, 1048hrs; dude, you’d better be about to be assassinated for you to call me 8 times on a fine Monday morning. I called him back and he said we should do BBM which irritated me the more. While chatting with him, he told me his fiancée’s family was putting pressure on him to talk to his “old man” to drop money.

Let me explain. My friend’s ‘old man’ is a serving Honorable in the House of Representatives (that means money right?) and my friend just proposed to his girlfriend. The young lady isn’t from a rich home but this Honorable isn’t your everyday Nigerian Honorable. He’s a very humble, non-flamboyant man. The young lady’s family are of the opinion that Honorable should drop about N20m for the wedding (coming up in December). They also want a jamboree for a wedding, the who-is-who on the guest list; you know the whole trappings of a politician’s son’s wedding.

My friend knows his dad; he knows his dad will never drop such. He’s definitely not the ‘stealing’ type. His kids live their lives like their dad was a regular civil servant; they don’t go looking for favors based on old man’s political standing. In fact, to most of his political associates, his children aren’t known at all.

Sometime ago, my friend had issues with law enforcement agents, I was the first person he called to help him see if I could help out. After the ordeal, I jokingly asked him why he didn’t call his dad. He responded “my old man? He’ll tell you to face your troubles like a normal Nigerian same way you got into it like a normal Nigerian. That’s why I don’t get into wahala Nike. My dad is an amazing man but trust me, old man isn’t in my ‘in case of emergency list’ ”

I told him to calm down and talk to his fiancée, explain things to her so she’d be able to let her family know the situation of things; after all, you won’t go rob a bank because of a wedding.

After the whole chat, I then thought to myself, how will this country ever move forward? This is one of the many reasons Nigerian politicians steal and amass so much wealth in office. They have so many people who look up to them for favors and these people expect them to deliver promptly! Family members, political associates, church/mosque members, friends, former colleagues etc. We expect them to live in a certain way, we expect their kids not to look like regular people. You tell someone your uncle is an Honorable at the House of Representatives and you hear “ko ti e yo lara e” (e no show for your body). How is it expected to ‘show’? Just tell me how? You want to tell your friend about a guy you just met and you go “he’s XYZ and guess what, his father is a Minister!!!” O_O

Local party members aren’t left out; I call them the foot soldiers. These people ‘worked’ for the party during the elections and they expect the politician to return the favor once he gets into power by doling out money, contracts and appointments. It is pathetic. When these politicians especially lawmakers decide to come down to work on their constituency projects, majority (if not all) of the contracts have been awarded to party members/stalwarts, a good number of the beneficiaries of their empowerment programmes are party members. How exactly do we expect this country to move forward?

Here’s my question; from what I just wrote, do you think we (citizens) put a lot of pressure on our politicians? Do you think we encourage them to be corrupt? After all, they have to live up to the billings of being in power. Aside doing what we elected them to do, do you think we are part of the problem?

To the readers living outside Nigeria, please how does it work? Having an MP in one’s family – does it equate wealth? Or having a congressman as an uncle or a dad, does it amount to living a flamboyant life?

Photo Credit: newsone.com

Adenike Adewuyi is a 28yr old broadcaster at Splash105.5FM Ibadan. She anchors interview programmes for women and entrepreneurs plus she presents documentaries. She was nominated at the 2012 Future Awards (OAP Radio category) You can follow her on twitter @Omotomilola or visit her blog: www.adenikeadewuyi.blogspot.com

52 Comments

  1. ditto

    June 17, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    I think we do! but they don’t have to fall to pressure!.. ps! I love atoke tooo! she is hilarious!

    • OK

      June 18, 2013 at 1:09 am

      No we don’t pressure them into anything…Nigerian politicians are just plain thieves, pure and simple…the only reason “people” expect them to perform nowadays is because of the reputation of corruption, thievery, and opulence that they themselves created. 30/40 years ago politicians didn’t and weren’t expected to be opulent…things started changing and got totally rotten during babaginda’s dictatorship…

  2. Yinka Ademola

    June 17, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Nice one, Nike. I believe most of us are part of this ever-growing problem. We expect too much from people in government. I work for government (not yet a top official but humbly working my way up) and I get all sorts of requests from strangers, friends and sometimes extended family. They seem to believe that government work is a gold mine. This notion is only true if one steals or engages in some form of fraud. Otherwise, government salaries and allowances can only support a modest and sensible lifestyle.

  3. Teris

    June 17, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    yes, we do put pressure on the politicians to “live up to expectations” … once upon a time to defend the helpless. now-a-days sha, a lot of us (leaders and the led) are just plain lazy, especially mentally.
    this “free” money has messed up our ability to tell right from wrong.

  4. Mz Socially Awkward...

    June 17, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    The only thing I’m going to say is that your friend needs to get a clue about future wifey and/or her family members. Awoof N20 million being demanded by people who probably won’t be contributing up to N1 million?? How very grasping…. My guess is they’ve been sounding off to neighbors and gbeboruns about how their future son-in-law is going to shut it down with a politician’s wedding. The handwriting on the wall is in bold red caps…

    If what you’ve written about his dad is true & politicians like him actually exist, then I can go ahead to hope a little more for Nigeria…

    • Wale

      June 17, 2013 at 2:42 pm

      My thought exactly, that girl he is about to marry and her family are going to be problems in future. I doubt his family is compatible with hers. Run…

    • natty

      June 17, 2013 at 3:14 pm

      We are on the same wavelength, he should talk to his wifey, if her family and her are still insisting on the whole society wedding, please he should run far far away. they are already showing themselves before she enters the house sef

    • nene

      June 17, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      gbam!

    • Neo

      June 17, 2013 at 4:11 pm

      The babe is cerebrally challenged! Even if the guy’s family has money, shay it doesnt finish where she comes from. N20M to do wedding that can be invested in their future together. That dude needs to drop her like a bad habit.

      One of my neighbours had to come see my Momsie once to follow him for his wife’s introduction, cos the babe’s family heard the dude works in Schlumberger they were asking for N1M bride price. Momsie went with him to help the bros price the thing down, the people still refused. Dude vexed and told the babe that when she is ready to marry she knows where to find him. Sharp babe not to miss out on her destiny went ballistic on her family and went to do registry with the guy, their traditional wedding came about a year after they were married.

    • *haha*

      June 18, 2013 at 3:59 pm

      I dey laff o. Seriously, we know that’s not what you asked us Nike but I also support the idea of him ditching this babe. Her families greed will always put them in trouble. Like they say in yoruba ‘Iyawo buruku dun fe, ano buruku ni o shey ni’ meaning its easier and much better to marry a bad wife, than to have bad in-laws.

    • zsa zsa

      June 18, 2013 at 7:42 pm

      LOL @”shey it doesn’t finish where she comes from?”

      That is how ladies set themselves up for problems. I don’t care how big or demanding ur family is, learn how and when to put ur foot down or else…
      Imagine family asking for 20mill for wedding, and they have the nerve to even call the guy. My dad and mum’s family wanted to try that nonsense when our trad wedding was coming up, i had to call my uncles/cousins and told them so halt any rubbish plans to increase the bride price. Their excuse was that my hubby is a Dr and i am a masters degree holder, i said so freaking what if he is a Dr?….we no go chop again after wedding? na una pay my school fees for masters? when was the last time u people ask after my well being?. If the story is true then dude needs to reevaluate o, or babe needs to have a serious talk with her family.

      Back to the post, the politicians are already corrupt but i think we also contribute to the problem. Most of us want that “uncle” or “aunty” we can call on to “fix” things for us every now and then. It happens everywhere but its way out of control in Nigeria.

  5. vickky

    June 17, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    Yes we do put pressure on political appointees, people of “substance” and anyone else who seems to have some form of financial windfall. The prevailing mentality is “Yipee, our time has come to chop this national cake!”
    The celebration of the successful election, promotion, appointment or windfall is enough to impoverish the “celebrant”. No one thinks of service to the nation. The person is also expected to upgrade his house, car, clothes, kids and even the wife on occasion.
    The wife is not expected to be seen in the market ( “for what? Ahah! Madam you have to send someone now”). She also definately knows that she is being overcharged for whatever is brought to her for purchase but will be seen as miserly and mean if she complains. Relatives, friends, acquaintances, clergy and even enemies all come with all manner of requests and problems to be solved.
    The sensible individual will remain true to him/herself and do the right thing. The foolish ones will get carried away and then be surprised when friends and finances desert him/ her at the end of the journey.
    Summary of it all is that we do put pressure on our politicians. We are part of the problem.
    P.S. Your friend seems to be getting married to a little problem. His in-laws demands are scary. I hope he can sort it out.

  6. ewems

    June 17, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    That your friend should NOT marry that girl!

  7. DL

    June 17, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    This article is spot on.

  8. Snookie

    June 17, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    We can only choose our friends….not our family. A lot of the expectations come from the extended family and as long as the bride understands the way things are…. Their demands won’t be an issue.

  9. shaun

    June 17, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    they have smelt money-bag. it is unfortunate that the girl’s family will give problem in their marriage. it is also unfortunate that the girl cannot ask them to back off.
    as per the question, this is where nepotism has brought us. nothing done or achived on merit. I BELIEVE IN NIGERIA

  10. Gorgeous

    June 17, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    This guy should take to his heels. That girl is marrying him for the wrong reasons. Should the money fade or the father die, your friend will be in big trouble.

  11. Nneka

    June 17, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Nike please ask your friend to move on. if she doesnt see as much cash as she expected, she will become a thorn in his flesh. i think this should be an eye opener for him.

  12. eloka

    June 17, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    Yes, we put a lot of pressure on our politicians. It is a symptom of our dependency syndrome.

  13. 'GOKE

    June 17, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Yes, we do expect a lot from our politicians which is pretty sad. Not all politician get their money by crooked means. And not all spend money recklessly.
    By the way Nike, your friend need to look for another lady ‘sharpish’. I bet the amount asked for her hand in marriage is a tip of the iceberg.

  14. Guys Perspective

    June 17, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Therein lays Nigeria’s problem, and its in one difficult topic. And I will make my comment based on personal experience, a couple of years back, my dad was the Deputy Rector of a Federal Polytechnic, everyone expected him to be the next rector, but after serving in a acting capacity for almost a year, he decided he was not going to pursue the number one spot. Why you may ask, because of corruption, he has a huge disdain for corruption, and he told me that, he would rather not sniff, because when you sniff you become tempted to taste. He explained to me that there was so much rot in the school, the cleaning people were stealing cleaning supplies, and the library workers were stealing books and other material, all most everyone was engaged in some form of racket. Back then a lot of people ask me the “ko yo lara e” question, that my life was not a reflection of my dad’s position, I remember the Polytechnic bursar stole so much money that the polytechnics checks ( salary payments, vendor payments) were all “dud” and the schools account was in the red, the man stole almost a billion naira from the polytechnic, he built homes and hotels all over the place, and he never spent a day in any police cell, because he had settled everyone up to the Minister of education, but there is something called “karma” because none of the mans children ended up well, they are disgracing the man all over the place.
    In other to understand the complexity of Nigeria’s situation, we need to look at most of the people we celebrate (even on bellanaija), civil servants who are able to spend millions on their children’s wedding, have we ever bothered to ask ourselves how a director in Lagos ministry is able to afford a home in (VGC, Lekki, Parkview) while still been able to send five kids to university in London or the US. In the western world, politicians go to jail or are forced to resign when they improperly accept gifts a little as $2000. It is pertinent to also understand there is no small corruption or big corruption, everything is corruption. Stealing $1 billion dollars, processing international passport or drivers licenses by proxy, employing domestic workers and paying them anything short of a living wage, attending NYSC camp by proxy etc are all various type of corruptions we need to combat, For Nigeria to change, we need to all change our mindset, we need to hold ourselves, our families and every other person accountable for the rot that is Nigeria. Am I a saint no, but we need to all change for Nigeria to be changed.

    • I Rock

      June 17, 2013 at 8:09 pm

      *hugs*…I love love love your response. Its so apt.

    • hot mama

      June 17, 2013 at 10:17 pm

      spot on!!! luv d last part- “we need to change for Nigeria to change”…we are the enablers of corruption in our society, we have accepted it as a way of life that’s why those who govern us dont see it as crime whatsoever and continue to steal shamelessly,,,the common man in turn due to poverty puts pressure on the politicians in order to obtain as much as we can from them and so it has become a vicious cycle…most times when people complain about the ills of the government, i’m like abeg make i hear, what are we doing ourselves to make things right…we are the very people who are impatient to wait for their turn when there’s a queue and go looking for shortcuts to jump the queue, we are the same ones who refuse to do anything properly by the book just because ‘backyard’ method is quicker and in our minds we hope to move forward…who sigh!! until we start holding ourselves accountable for the way things are there’s no way those ones at top will…shikena!!!

    • hot mama

      June 17, 2013 at 10:23 pm

      And as for the family of olojukokoros (long-throats) looking for 20 mil..make dem welldone…e be like say na dem wan marry their own pikin put for house…rabbish!!

    • Miss Anonymous

      June 19, 2013 at 12:07 pm

      Well said!

    • Naveah

      June 19, 2013 at 4:25 pm

      Dude, you are the MAN for this perspective. ILike.com

  15. Nomy

    June 17, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    N20m ke?! Why doesn’t she go get married to a Bank at once? N20m for only wedding o! Better tell your friend to flee o, cos his Papa no go be Minister forever!

  16. sexy mama

    June 17, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    we sure as hell do give them alota pressure…that is sadly one of the things that fuel corruption in this country…i think its generally a poverty mentality in a society where the basic amenities of life are denied so many, a society where the gap with the rich and poor is so wide..once you are in public office people expect you to start giving contracts to all your family members and friends, even your dog and your cat should reflect your bigmanism…sadly our legislators are so so guilty i.e you get an appt where you should be cleared from the senate and they senators – yes quote me; they start demanding for bribe to clear you…ask el-rufai…..I also lived abroad for 2 years and people where expecting that i should start building a mansion even when i only went for further studies..are the streets of America or Europe paved with gold? they keep comparing everyone to those dubuios nigerians who do credit card fraud and drugs and expect us all to flaunt pounds or dollars….you buy a car or earn more salary and everyone treats you with more respect and sometimes even try to corner your change with words like ” you be big madam now”….
    relatives and friends come with all kinds of request like you have a money tree….the onus lies on the individual to know how to carry themselves….i give but i dont let ple push me more than i can afford…i.e no office buy buy on credit, i dont take all asoebi,s that come my way, i dont keep up with the joneses so no pressure to prove i have arrived to anyone…..trust me it aint easy but it can be done

  17. Guys Perspective

    June 17, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    A critical aspect of this problem, is the hypocrisy of our religious institutions (church, mosque, Sango, etc). I don’t mean to bore people with my personal experience, but I like describing things based what I have encountered. In March this year we had a 10 year memorial service for my late mother, the clergy man who delivered the sermon, spoke on leaving a good legacy, his sermon was a very well delivered, there were several politicians and other government functionaries in attendance and he specifically addressed them on the issue of corruption and other ills. But the most fascinating part was that after the sermon and thanksgiving, this same clergy ended up soliciting the same politicians he just chastised for a 10 million naira project, he did make “bank” because instantly he the church was able to raise a huge percentage of what they needed. This fellow readers, is the hypocrisy in our society.

  18. b

    June 17, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    This is interesting.

  19. b

    June 17, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Well, firstly they both have to be sure about their feeling for each other before concluding about marriage and not let family issues come between them, and N20M is a lot for sum wedding….. and besides if the guy isn’t sure then he should let her know and get going and go for some girl that can drop N20M 🙂

  20. jenny

    June 17, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    Ewo where have I being,lol? Am a stay at home mom for now, and besides this is so interesting!!! Big deal?!!! My grandpa (maternal) was an Honorable at the House of Representatives.. and my father still married my mom. So if the dude is having issues with the gal’s background and family members, he should stop screwing her and go get some1 in his league. Ooops I need to go change my baby’s nappy 🙂

  21. Ready

    June 17, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Beeni o! Ol’ boy needs to have a serious discussion with the babe, and if she doesn’t understand or see the big deal, please he should end it. The bobo should be generous, but it should be with his own money! She’s marrying him, not his father.
    Nigerians on one hand want accountable leaders, but they want money that cannot be transparently gotten. Watch how these people hold thanksgiving services because their brother was appointed as a commissioner. Even honest people can be pressured into theft by relatives…”Ahh, go and meet her now, shebi she’s the step-sister of your wife’s cousin.” Does anyone know how much House of Reps members make now? Me neither. The blame is on us! Everyone wants to take out a full page ad in the newspaper for a big man’s birthday/investiture as a chief/getting registered by the Standards Organization of Nigeria. All for connection and goodwill…I know a Lagos power broker who used to be in office who ran to the States on his birthday to avoid being forced to throw a party.
    You need so much to satisfy all the outstretched hands that if you wanted to steal N5 m for yourself, it has to increase to N50m. We see our LG chairman who obviously has done nothing with funds, and we hail “My Chairman!”. I was at a party where Gbenga Daniel attended, and despite the venom many Ogun people had for him during his 2nd term, when they saw him…yep…the big men stood up, a space was created for him in church, and bystanders ran smiling to pick the crisp N100 notes he threw out of the window…when he should be getting a shoe to the head, Bush-style. Many of us have been co-opted into this vicious cycle. We are def the problem.

  22. jcsgrl

    June 17, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    Hmnn this topic is a vicious cycle that started when people’s eyes were opened to the amount of wealth that could be made in public service. Gone are good ole days when people worked humbly in civil service to serve the people. Today is about chopping the national cake. Since breeze blow and foul yansh open, pesin com see say there is money to be chopped with these politicians flaunting their wealth left and right. Why wont we expect them to spend it? The unfortunate thing is the good ones amongst them are held to the same standard. If you chop our money, we must chop yours chikena!

  23. Slimshady

    June 17, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    Not to bore you and repeat what others have said, hell yes! we put pressure on ourselves, on other people and on politicians. And it takes the grace of God and self discipline to withstand these pressures and not buckle under them!

    Your friend needs to reassess/review his relationship with his girlfriend and her family. Admitted we can’t help the family we are born into, so the girl might have just mentioned in passing what her family said. But if that’s not the case and she is actually in cohort with her family on the demand for N20m wedding as per boyfriend being a politician’s son, then it is a symptom he can’t just dismiss. He doesn’t need a crystal ball to look into the future to see the serious migraine and high blood pressure waiting for him should he go ahead with the marriage!

    An example, a friend of mine, while his girlfriend was pregnant suggested they should go and get some baby essentials (nappies, feeding bottles etc) from Mothercare and Asda because they were on sale. Her mother turned around and said how can he be shop for the baby in mothercare and asda while he is wearing designer clothes. Bearing in mind the girlfriend’s mum is contributing nowt o. Biko i didn’t realize them designer labels sell nappies and the likes. Girlfriend listens to her mum, relates everything her mum says to boyfriend and then pressures him to do whatever her mother demands, no matter how outrageous it sounds. Needless to say they split up before the baby was a year old!

  24. Nelly

    June 17, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    And people wonder why the rich marry the rich.
    Your friend’s wife-to-be has shown him the signs. One word to him: Run.

  25. My two cent

    June 17, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    This hit home big big time *sigh* but you are so right, can you blame Nigerians its a dog eat dog world out here, survival of the fittest type ish.

    This is my story
    So my husband to be’s daddy used to be in gov and he is now rich, name the business he is successful into it . My boo did his undergrad, MSC & MBA in diff countries my boo’s dad is tight with money when it comes to his family but can over give to outsiders. Well so i decides to pray about this as my boo works hard to look after me and him as he is the i look after my woman kinda guy. Dont get me wrong his dad gives him money like for his undergrad graduation his dad gave him a house and car in abuja that was 4 years ago and my boo hasnt slept in that house for a day smh. Back to my point i prayed about my boo cuz me i dont trust all these gov pple for naija and my pple God revealed to me that my boo’s dads money is NOT CLEAN he used my boo’s glory(yoruba’s would understand this and i am yoruba) to aquire his wealth, he was going to waste my boo late last year but i stood in prayer and my boo was saved, if my boo died his dad would have been even more stinkingly rich. He did not succeed in wasting his first son, now things are not going so well for him business wise as e needed a blood sacrifice to complete his wealth. people are wicked how can you try and use your child as a blood sacrifice. I really thank God because ONLY GOD is protecting me and boo. I refuse to walk out on him because me too get my own fam ish which is ongoing but my boo stood and is still standing my him and i will fight for him anytime any day. I have never met a guy that comes from a rich home and background but yet so humble and can give you anything that’s his when you ask for it. I cant even tell my boo cuz he would never ever believe me and his dad is the type that can sleep in redeem camp and pray in the house for 10 hrs kmt rme smh

    In short those stinkly rich politicians that don’t give their wife and their kids its cuz der money is not clean.

    My people na my cross be dat and i am fully prepared to carry it because I walk in light i don’t mix with darkness.

    • Msunderstood

      June 18, 2013 at 5:17 am

      Wow, if u marry him it’s going be a lifelong battle. Hope u r prepared. May d lord give u strength.

  26. seyi

    June 17, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    my father worked in government for 7 bloody years, did not steal a penny in my opinion because we were almost homeless when his retirement came upon him not long ago. thats because he was taking his time to use his salary (and small private practice-consultant money) to build his houses and pay for our education home and abroad. The house in the village first took the entire 7 years while he was in office, then a small town house in the US that we managed as our base abroad for school , our flat in Lagos that we lived in for donkey years until moving to the uncompleted house in lagos that is still an ongoing project 6 years after in began…in fact we the children are now earning salary and contributing to that one sef in light of recession and reverse-migration. Does that sound like someone who had access to multi million naira budgets, projects and contracts in the 90’s when money meant something. Perhaps if it was oil sector the story would be different. Some days we mock him jokingly and sometimes out of bitterness that all his mates were amassing money and helping their families and themselves , even sending their kids to luxury private schools and colleges while he went in there to do pope john paul. BUT we are proud that he is a man of integrity because in light of things going on the country now, we can beat our chest and say our father was a genuine servant of the state and will not count as those who stole state funds. So yes WE ARE part of the problem because LIFE puts pressure on people that even your principles will be put aside when faced with reality of an opportunity to make wealth over night. It is your integrity that will keep you together, honest, on course and focused on your purpose.

  27. ms lala

    June 18, 2013 at 12:16 am

    She take my money when I’m in need
    Yeah she’s a trifling friend indeed
    Oh she’s a gold digger way over town
    That digs on me……*singing*

  28. NNENNE

    June 18, 2013 at 1:54 am

    Nice article.It takes more than one individual to run a country. Nation building is the job of everyone. In the developed world friends and family expect nothing of that sort from their family members in leadership positions. They will even blow the whistle if they suspect something fishy going on.
    In Nigeria, we sell our votes, help to put the wrong candidate in power, then turn around and complain that leaders are not doing their job.
    We also fail to live up to our civic responsibilities. No matter how small, each one of us has a role to play. Nigerians do not execute their laws too.If one is rich and well connected, he/she can do anything.

  29. Tosin

    June 18, 2013 at 4:33 am

    This focus on wedding parties eh, it won’t put our people in trouble. So-called adults can be such children sometimes.

  30. Slimshady

    June 18, 2013 at 9:45 am

    @ Seyi my story is so similar to yours. Like I said in my earlier post, it takes the grace of God and self discipline not to succumb to such pressure. My mother was in the army and she retired as a Colonel. But like some mentioned earlier on, “ko han lara e” choosing to live on her salary instead. Mind you she was a widow (my father died aeons ago so she practically raised us single handed). By the time she retired she had not completed her house. Meanwhile officers of lower ranks had God knows how many houses with their kids abroad.

    Oh yes she had the opportunity to enrich her pocket what with the military being in power back then and her being 2nd in command to the commandant of the hospital she worked in. Back then a separate budget was allocated to the hospital to treat wounded ECOMOG soldiers coming back from Liberia. The commandant would divert the funds to his own pocket. He would divert equipment and machines for the hospital to his own private clinic. He would also divert a percentage from the funds meant for feeding patients and off course send my mum her own share. Trust my mother to always send the money back to him saying ‘mi o fe owo epe” (i don’t want cursed money). When the man realized she wasn’t playing ball he frustrated her so much she had a nervous breakdown! But in Nigeria which tribunal will you take your case to that your oga is bullying you? If not for the grace of God.

    Corruption is deeply entrenched in that country that if you choose not to be part of it you will be mocked and frustrated. she could have easily succumbed to the pressure what with being a widow with kids and some relatives to take care of!

    Now we are in the UK and some people think ‘she chop army money come settle in UK’. But no that isn’t the case, when she retired she was able to get a job here because she trained here as a nurse and kept all her registrations and what not going.

    God bless!

    • Susan

      June 18, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      Hi Slim Shady, My name is Susan Majek. I am a writer who would like to request the opportunity to interview your mother. Feel free to email me at [email protected] so we can discuss it further. Thanks.

  31. dami

    June 18, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    Funny how nobody’s relative stole government money * I laff in Spanish* Nigerias problems start with u

    • Guys Perspective

      June 18, 2013 at 3:45 pm

      I understand you point, but its almost certain that anyone whose parents really stole from Nigeria’s treasuries will not bother commenting on this article, they only comment on wedding, nollywood and other event features. They are the ones who know balenciaga, Prada, Veronique Branquinho, Celine, herve leger, Elsa Schiaparelli, jimmy choo, Chanel, manolo blahnik etc (***Tongue-in-cheek***)

    • Guys Perspective

      June 18, 2013 at 3:47 pm

      *your

  32. mo

    June 18, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    @ dami #GBAMEST!!!! If all your relatives wey dey for politics no chop the money…who come dey chop am na??????

  33. Ready

    June 19, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    The ones that are chopping government money, the ones whose fathers and mothers are enjoying ill-gotten contracts, they’re the ones whose weddings we comment on. “Lovely!” “Money speaking!” They’re the ones who are in the circle of friends whom we see at people’s weddings, and when we talk about it, someone goes “Haters! They’re smiling straight to the bank.” Those are the ones that BN writes their names under the pictures, and we comment “Overfine dey worry these ones.” “Seems like only fine people were invited.” Those people don’t bother commenting on here…they simply chill in their offices which their parents’ names/leg provided them, and think about how it’s not their fault, but do very little to right the wrongs that they and theirs continue to perpetrate.

  34. jenny

    June 19, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    Do your best and leave the rest……………………….

  35. milly

    June 26, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    A lovely piece. I pity your friend ,a rich boy marrying from this kind of family will surely die before his time,as the lady is not in love with him, but after his family’s wealth.
    The average Nigerian is corrupt! Imagine the artisans how they drain the blood of their fellow Nigerians especially mechanics ,after satan they are next, they also wicked that after they finish with you , you will know that yes it’s been.
    Greed has eaten deep into the fabric of our society,that those in on the mainland want to upgrade to Lekki by all means and they will do anything.
    No quest for intellectual capacity anymore, we are now an entertainment Country.
    It is only God’s grace and mercy that will deliver us as a nation from this bottom less pit,that Nigeria is spiraling into, in God we trust.

  36. larz

    June 27, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    I say this girl is in on the scam and hiding behind her parents. Either that or she is too lily-livered to deal with her parents. Bad news either way. Stuff like that I won’t even bother telling bf/ fiancé/ hubby or bring his attention to it because it reflects really badly on me.

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