Life is not always kind. We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes everything goes south at once: The longed-for love doesn’t show up or goes away; the dream job is given to an inexperienced person, the dog dies; school refuses to resume session; the snap of your jeans pops open just when you bent down to pick the quit notice your landlord dropped at your door step… and so on. The best part of your runway is 25, after that age, you just have to slog it through.
But, you have to remember this secret. All of us, even the bleakest and unluckiest of us, get seven particular moments. Those brief, unexpected times when the stars do more than align; they collectively redirect their light expressly to illuminate the value of our tiny, earthly existence. These moments sometimes go unnoticed and are almost always unexpected.
They are not subject to the vicissitudes of our successes or failures. They are not something we can blame ourselves for not experiencing sooner. They are on their own time schedule. They have happened to us or will happen to us sooner or later.
The key, however, is not letting them slip by uncelebrated. These are moments when…
You Win (unreasonably)
You pick up the phone and hear a stranger asking you to name four tourist spots in Nigeria, which you know and then recite to him, prompting him to scream out to his radio audience that you are the proud new owner of a 2013 Bentley ride. This feeling is not the same as winning a raffle game. This is about a windfall without effort, a windfall that you’re not even sure you want—say, a deluxe all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas—but that fills you with great, swelling joy at getting something undreamed of for free, something only you get to get.
You Are Seen
Someone somewhere looks across the room and sees past the face your family gave you. They also see past the face you put on over that face, the mysterious magazine-made smiles and the smooth, dull, blank look that overtakes our eyes when we decide we will not cry, not in front of other people. This someone sees you; down to your intelligence, your fear of being alone and your ability to pull stunts. It might be the shop owner who spots your bag breaking at the exit and runs down to help you, filling a new bag with your items plus gives you this genuine smile just to cheer you up. It might even be the friend who thinks the way you snort-laugh is charming. There is somebody out there who gets it—it being you.
You Get the Opportunity To Learn About Something Bigger Than Yourself
I know what this one sounds like: You get to go through something horrible and wrenching, and then we’ll pretend there is some kind of silver lining. But that’s not what I mean.
I’m talking about the awakening of grace, the time in life when you first begin to accrue the kind of wisdom that will allow you to feel for a friend when she has lost a father or gotten separated, not necessarily because you have lost a father or gotten separated but because you have lost someone or something and the experience opened a door of genuine understanding. You are now able to hold hands with another person and connect with them at the very time they feel most alone.
Prior to the age of seat belts, you were a baby crawling around in the back of a Volkswagon and the door opened. You didn’t fall out. Or later on, you crossed the road at the very second a crazy driver sped by. You were not hit. You did not die. In other words, you did get the chance to live.
Somebody Comes Back
One of the worst things in life is that people leave—and worse, they leave you with the feeling that (1) you didn’t do the thing required to make them stay, or (2) you did the thing that made them go, or (3) if time stopped, you would leave instead and make them feel all the terrible, painful crap you’re currently feeling.
But at some point, one of those leave-ers comes back. Maybe they want to start over. Maybe they want to say they’re sorry. Maybe they want to say hi.
You Are Right
So many times in life, we are right and wish we weren’t (You’re going to lose your job! Your mother is coming between us!) And then there are the glorious, life-affirming moments, such as when I told my cousin she would have a boy first and she disagrees with me. Lo and behold, it happens!
Love seems to be a given. It seems so obvious. All these people are in your life with the responsibility to love you: parents, siblings, spouses, nieces, babies, and friends. A few will fail you, but most won’t. And yet each time they express that love, it’s unique. It’s so insanely specific, what the other will adore about you and what you will adore about him (or her).
It may be that you haven’t had all seven of these moments yet. But the odds are that you have, and you will.
Here is the sweet part of the deal—it’s very possible, if not extremely likely, that you will get the chance to have each of these moments over and over and over, 70 or 700 or 7 million times, but each time differently. Each time it will be new and astonishing once again.
Wait. Enjoy These Moments.
Photo Credit: 123rf.com
Precious Uwisike is a graduate of Covenant University, where she studied Mass Communication. Precious is passionate about helping people live happier lives. She is a PR executive and a social media enthusiast. Follow her on Twitter – @preshest”