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Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: Parental Fibs

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It’s very hard to get over the euphoria of the Nigerian game at the World Cup on Saturday. The joy of the victory was so intense that you’d think we won the entire tournament. We’re Nigerians, we find a way to milk the littlest things. The Nigerian win was a great way to end a week that had been very tedious. I had gone for an interview where I had to sell myself, what I do and what I could offer the organization. After the meeting, the interviewer asked me to stay back for some feedback. He said that whilst I sounded like I knew what I was doing, I kept looking away and I didn’t hold his gaze for longer than 5 seconds. He said that in such circumstances I am to look my interviewer in the face and make my points clearly and directly.

I was really grateful for the feedback because I hadn’t realized I was doing that – not looking at him. When I mentioned this to my friend, she said it was as a result of our upbringing as Nigerians. According to her, we’re raised not to look at our elders in the face, because it’s disrespectful. However, over here, body language is an indication of confidence and the delivery of your words. In Nigeria, we’re taught to keep our heads down in obeisance and in deference to someone in authority. Our parents worked a number on us, and we’re in the process of working the same magic on our own children.

My friend’s son lost his first tooth yesterday and it had been such a long anticipated event. She had told him that the tooth fairy would come for his tooth and leave him something. So, the challenge was getting him to stay out of his room while she transmuted into The Tooth Fairy. “So when do you plan to tell him there’s nothing like a Tooth Fairy?” I asked. She replied with “He will discover on his own. Were you ever told that Santa Claus was a lie?”.

Since I didn’t grow up in a Santa Claus/Tooth Fairy household, I tried to rationalize what she was saying to me in the way I knew it. While we were not told that there was a Tooth Fairy, we had our own version of events that occurred with the loss of a tooth. We were told that when you lose your tooth, you take 7 of the smoothest pebbles you can find, then put the tooth amongst the stones and keep them tightly within your palm. Go outside, keeping your precious tooth from the glare of the sun, spin 7 times (7 has always been the number for scams), then throw the content of your hand on the roof. Imagine that!

Remember the white marks you get beneath your nails from vitamin deficiencies? We were told that we had to flap our hands and plead with the Leke Leke bird to get rid of the marks.

I mean how do you explain the fact that ‘Omotoyiogbon’ is not a real thing, but some mystical non-existent thing your parents ask you to get just so they can get rid of you. ‘Omotoyiogbon’ is literally translated to ‘A child is this old and remains unwise’. I know that between running to get this mystical ‘Omotoyiogbon’ and ‘Arodan’. When you go and ask any other adult for ‘Arodan’, they’d also send you on a further wild goose chase. All the adults were clued into the Arodan scam. I was never around for when all the interesting things happened.

I asked a friend to share some of the parental fibs he discovered as he grew up. His top two responses were: “We don’t have money. This money is someone’s money, I’m just holding it temporarily” and “If you fail your Junior WAEC you will go and train to become a mechanic”.

Parents have said that they employed these tools in child rearing because it was easier that way. Besides, children are very impressionable and tender, it’s not every truth that they can handle or fathom. We can’t blame them for telling these fibs. And as we become parents, we find that these little lies save us from having to answer a lot of inexplicable questions.

Please share some of your most ridiculous parental fibs with us. When did you find out that ‘Father Christmas’ didn’t come from North Pole to the NTA compound. (Or down the chimney for those of you outside of Nigeria). Are these fibs just replicas of superstitions and myths? {We talked about those here}. Of course we must never forget the almighty “I came first in every class”. Every parent came first in every class. Until you meet their classmates!

Have a great week ahead. Remember to smile and be positive. Add value to someone’s life this week and let’s not forget that the Chibok girls are still missing.

Peace, love & cupcakes.

Toodles!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Goldenkb
________________________________________________________________________________________
Atoke – Writer | Lover | Noisemaker. Twitter – @atoke_

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

61 Comments

  1. corolla

    June 23, 2014 at 11:32 am

    Lol! i so remember that “leke leke” bird fib!

  2. Neo

    June 23, 2014 at 11:41 am

    This cracked me up. The biggest scam of all is when parents will say old people dont lie or “Are you saying your Mummy is lying?” When people woudl come visit and dash me money and that money would enter Mummy’s hand for “safe keeping” When u ask for it you’d hear “The dress i bought you last week, where did the money come from?” Shuo? I send you. Then when you complain the how can your mummy lie story will come up.

    My Mum still scams us on the daily sha, especially when it comes to money. My sis would call and be like “Ah Mummy my gas man is coming to drop gas for me, pls give hime 20k i will give him when i come” My Mother will swear on the 7 gods of Westeros that she doesnt have a kobo at home, only when my sister also swears on the 7 gods of Westeros that she has the money in her handbag, my mother will say “Ok let me go and borrow from my friend” Then she’d go upstairs and the the friend who lives in her handbag will produce the 20k.

    Leave matter oh, our parents can lie for African Olympics!

    • Ewa

      June 23, 2014 at 11:54 am

      LOL!!!!

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 23, 2014 at 12:57 pm

      ROTFLMAO!!!

    • Ruby

      June 23, 2014 at 1:01 pm

      Wish I can like your comment. By the way, do we share the same mum?

    • Iphie

      June 23, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Neo! Neo!! Neo!!! how many times have I called you? You don finish me today. . . .lol

    • dp

      June 23, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      sooo correct

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      June 23, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      Looooool!

  3. AA

    June 23, 2014 at 11:52 am

    The white mark on my fingers didn’t come from me flapping my hands when thE LekeLeke birds were flying past?

    • Troll

      June 23, 2014 at 12:13 pm

      Pls help me ask them oh. I refuse not to believe in that chekeleke song, it works abeg. LOL

  4. Idak

    June 23, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Remember the white marks you get beneath your nails from vitamin deficiencies? We were told that we had to flap our hands and plead with the Leke Leke bird to get rid of the marks.

    ……and I had bought the scam that Atoke was an ajebutter??
    You don fall my hand o!

    • Bleed Blue

      June 23, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      @Idak, trust me when I say that particular LekeLeke scam somehow managed to cross the ajebutter borders.

      Even the “tushest” of the lot in my primary school were made victims by their equally “tush” parents.

      On that note, I declare Atoke discharged and acquitted from the charge brought against her of un-butterism.

    • Thatgidigirl

      June 23, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Just stop it all of you!! leke leke was and always would be responsible for the white marks on my nails *now looking towards the sky and flapping my hands* askor!

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      June 23, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      *askor*

      I cannot belief you just did that. *throws hands in the air and surrenders to laughter*

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      June 23, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      [see how laughing at your askor “haff make” me write “belief” instead of “believe]

  5. mrs chidukane

    June 23, 2014 at 11:58 am

    My dad was actually on the honor roll in school and so didn’t lie and my kids had best believe I came first in every class cos I really did(well almost every class) and have the receipts,lol. My mom used to do the one of give me the money let me hold for you ,we knew what she was up to and would always grumble about it and she did it till I graduated university. When you ask for it back she’ll remind you of the household expenses, your feeding and all,lol. My FIL used to tell his kids that he’s owing the bank and see them blasting prayer and fasting not knowing it was all a lie and their Father wasn’t owing a dime but was actually rolling in dough.Truly Naija parents are on another level when it comes to lies

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      June 23, 2014 at 2:48 pm

      Yeah, my dad rolled through Uni on a scholarship as well which tranlsated to a good job with said org when he graduated. Which is why I actually took his “you better work hard for YOU and not because I’m grooming you to feed me in my old age because you better believe I’ve sorted out my pension” threats to heart.

      As for the “holding money” scam… I can confidently say that mumsie has paid back in full and in all kinds of ways because I don’t know whether she became more generous as both her and her kids got older but the woman dey give well-well. Her earlier wrongs have now been forgiven for this reason 🙂

  6. franny

    June 23, 2014 at 11:58 am

    I can’t forget my mom’s response when uncles,aunts,relatives,anyone came to the house to see us with lovely eye-popping gifts especially for us kids then..just tell my mom you’d like to have some of what aunty/uncle so and so brought, her response “wait a while,the thing is still very hot” and once she says that to you,just know that’s the end of that ‘thing’

  7. Troll

    June 23, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Funny enough, that Chekeleke song works oh. I don’t know how but it works. Anyway, my mother’s fibs were endless. Till now sef, she de fib for me. Starting from
    1. swallow an orange seed and it will grow in your stomach.
    2.Cross your eyes for a long time and your eyes will remain like that *yimu
    3. Arrrrgh, the one that nearly killed me. When someone climbs across your legs, you will remain short until they cross over again. E get one day wey I cry like this ehn, ‘cos my cousin refused to climb across my legs again. LOOOOOL *smh
    Abeg, the list is endless joor and I’m sure I’ll do the same to my kids.
    Parents, you gotta love them

    • Thatgidigirl

      June 23, 2014 at 12:33 pm

      when a milk tooth falls off, run around the house 7 times and jump then throw it on the roof so it would grow back. She probably was trying to wear us out so we cld sleep off, mcheeew! kids these days have it easy, tooth fairy n tins.

    • Sjaneviel from Suriname

      June 23, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      lwkm @ nr. 3. hahahahahahahahahhahhahahahhahahhahhahahhahahahah

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      June 23, 2014 at 2:56 pm

      Re your #1 above – It’s funny that last Friday I was eating seeded grapes and crunching on the seeds and one of my oyibo work pals teased me by saying the tree would grow out of my head. I was very surprised to hear that this parental lie about swallowing seeds was quite universal 🙂

      Re your #3 above – I still never consciously walk across anyone’s legs unless I can’t help it. And I always tuck mine away if I’m sitting/lying on the floor and someone’s walking by.

    • elsa

      July 18, 2014 at 8:53 am

      LMAO @ no.3!!! I think we share the same mum! I cried whenever i swallowed an orange or “udara” seed, praying earnestly i don’t wake up with a tree growing out from my head. And i really wished for those white fingers from the chekeleke bird, sadly it didn’t come true. sigh!

  8. Iyke

    June 23, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    So did you get the job after all Ajoke? Was your not holding his gaze for longer than 5 seconds the reason you didn’t get the job despite the fact that you nailed the interview or sounded like one who knew what she was saying? Do you think his feedback was a good justification?
    Perhaps, if the interviewer had started the interview in an informal setting, maybe shared a cup of coffee/banters with you, talked about things that are not directly related to generic interview questions, or the role in question, you would have relaxed, which of course would have given him an opportunity to really know you better, rather than the formal setting you found yourself?
    I always wonder if the best candidates ever get the jobs knowing full well that most hiring managers employ those that they feel connected to (First impression – the 60seconds rule).
    Anyways, congrats if you got the job and good luck if you are still searching.

    • mee

      June 23, 2014 at 1:45 pm

      Mr Iyke , not being able to look someone in the eye or holding a gaze for more than 5 seconds isn’t always related to feeling at ease/ not relaxed (emphasis on always. Sometimes, it may be related). Like Atoke explained, for many Nigerians, it’s probably a bad habit that stemmed from the elderly (used loosely) telling us it’s rude to look at them in the eye. So despite creating an informal or welcoming atmosphere, some people still wouldn’t be able to maintain eye contact.
      Secondly, regardless of being the best in terms of knowing your stuff, some employers want the full package! Westerners always read meanings into body language – even when it means nothing. I shake my left leg a lot – a bad habit I learned from a roomie in high school and my friends have told me that it comes across as being impatient or looking like a deprived junkie. You may be interviewing for a job that requires face-to-face communication with clients and even if you know your stuff, not being able to maintain eye contact may be a very significant downside.

    • Iyke

      June 23, 2014 at 3:20 pm

      I am not disputing the importance of eye contacts and NVC in our everyday lives.However, the argument/feedback would not hold much water IF, I repeat, IF the org. in question is a multinational org as I would like to believe that they MUST have taken diversity/cultural work differences into consideration, hence – multinational.
      If Ms. Atoke’s inability to maintain a 5 sec’s fixed gaze was the only feedback the interviewer could give and the ONLY reason for not giving her the job, then that calls to question,the seriousness of the org in hiring those who could actually do the job.
      A senior Manager/director wouldn’t give such a feedback…maybe it was a fresh hr generalist/consultant who interviewed her.
      Formal direct interview is becoming obsolete…it puts so much pressure on the candidates and as such doesn’t give you the true reflection of who they really are. Assessments and team based approach in an informal setting gives you all the Non Verbal cues that you need.

  9. Abi

    June 23, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    I remember when a visitor comes around and gives us money, my mum would say “bring it, let me keep it for you”….I never got that money back. My younger Sis was smarter with money. She never released her money to our mum. I remember Granny’s burial where I got sprayed so many naira notes….hmmmmm, dis woman tricked me into adding my money with hers. The rest is history.

    Also remember in Sec Sch when I became so playful, Dad would threaten to send me to “Jakande School” to re-sit my WAEC if I failed….hehehehehe. Omo, that phrase always rang in my head during my WAEC exams and I knew I had to pass all my papers.

  10. fondest

    June 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Instead of my aunt to tell me she cant stand hearing anyone whistling around, she blankly told me my boobies wouldnt grow! Imagine telling an innocent minded girl in primary school who already knows the jib of a bra on an adult female chest and parades often in front of the mirror with my mom’s bra that it wnt grow…I stopped right there and then. I even gi as far as preaching to my ignorant peers who would listen to stop. If only I knew she just wanted me to shut up.

    • TA

      June 23, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      LOL ! I can just imagine how much that wwould scare achild! I also remember some scary stuffs like; we were told that if you swallowed African star apple seeds (mostly known as Cherry) that it would grow in your tummy. Another one is that if you did not hasten about your chores/errands and you allowed the spittle on the ground to dry upg bad …something bad would happen to you. LOL!

    • Chike

      June 23, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      LMAO! What??!!! FAINTS!!!

  11. D

    June 23, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    The gazing in the eyes deal…I found out I was guilty of that my junior year in college when I was on a committee with our vice-president of student affairs and he pointed that out to me. He understood it was probably from my culture but told me I needed to overcome it and it made me come across like I was timid although he knew I was not since I had worked with him for awhile. Since then I have had to consciously bring myself to make eye contact and even in Nigeria it does make you appear bold which is probably why it is considered rude to that with elders.
    Iyke, connection does play a role in being the right employee for a certain position, because the people interviewing you are the ones you would have to relate and work with on a daily basis so if there is no connection, i.e a sense of this person will fit in well with the team not only in regards to coming to work and getting the work done but along well with everyone then you are probably not going to stay long at that job and that is very important to any company.
    As for the leke leke deal, yes I flap my hands very well but interestingly my parents never told us that infact my mum always told us we were silly for doing that but everyone else did it and so we did.

  12. Ruby

    June 23, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    My mum used the ‘safe keeping’ fibs for me until I smart up. then she transformed it.
    Now what she says is lend me some money, as soon as I get my salary I will pay you back. Then she will seal it by telling me how my mother cannot lie to me.
    Well, I borrow her the money and then observe her phone for salary alert because she definitely won’t tell me when her salary comes in. When I finally ‘discover’ salary alert and I’m like Mum, can you please pay me back the money you owe me. She will be like “Which Money?” “All the food you have been eating in this house, let us not even mention electricity and water, do you think it is free?”. On one occasion, she even said that “A whole FG is owing its staffs, why can’t I owe my daughter?” So now I have caught up with that fib oo. I have smart.
    Currently, waiting for her transformation agenda. I trust my Igbo mother to come up with a new fib. By the way, I love her immensely!

    • Chike

      June 23, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      “A whole FG is owing its staffs, why can’t I owe my daughter?” LMAO!!! This just killed me! See yarns

  13. Motun

    June 23, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    lol! Brilliant piece Atoke. Keep it up!
    I remember when I was a child of lets say 8, my grandma was around when I lost a tooth and she made me pick 8 stones (bcos I was 8years old), we put them together with my tooth, threw them up the roof and started this race into the house *lmao* how gullible I was…

  14. TA

    June 23, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    @ Atoke,Nice article as always. I do not think the African parental fibs were necessarily fibs in themselves. Most of these stories were told to inculcate moral lessons/principles without using the cane all the time.

  15. AMAKA

    June 23, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    LOOLZZ.. My mom used that “bring the money let me keep it for you” on us till we were out of secondary school. Now that we are wiser, what she says is “borrow me 50k. i will pay you back” but we the children of that woman knows she has no repayment plan so we usually just give her maybe 30k without any plans of asking for it. My mother also used to tell us that mushrooms will grow on our head whenever someone gave us something to eat without permission. Since none of us wanted mushrooms sprouting from our brains, we never ate anything without her permission. But you cant try this with children of nowadays. My 6year old nephew will blatantly tell you NO whenever someone gives him money and you ask him to bring it so you can keep it for him.

  16. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com

    June 23, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    lekeleke bami leke eye adaba bami leke… tell me that leke leke fib wasn’t true and I will go to my mum’s archive to dig out pictures to show you my white spotted finger nails by the leke lekes at the rail way line close to our house then.
    Then in boarding school,some day students who lived in the nearby village told some boarders that a certain insect ”kuluso” could tell our position by writing it if placed on a plain surface and sang for. Off we went after exams to find ”kuluso, we cleared a part for it and started singing – kuluso kuluso so iye ipo ti mo gba, repeatedly. And just like they had said, the insect started moving anticlockwisely until it came to a stop. It had written 2 for me! Before I knew it, I was bomberded with hugs amidst laughter and cheers. FF to PTA meeting, I was confident of what kuluso had written that I was already reminding my dad of his promises if I took between first to third position. Imagine my shock when my dad showed me my result. I took the 8th position! I wanted to dig into every kuluso hole and smash them with my feet!
    lmao, the many silly things one has done as a kid.

    • Queen E

      June 23, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      Kai! @ENIWEALTH BEEN LAUGHING SOOOO HARD!!

  17. Milania

    June 23, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    Lol these mothers are something else hahaha the tooth thing for us we were told to throw it on the roof of a pregnant lady and I am from a different African country funny how we have almost similar stories. We also had the leg crossing thing to this day I double cross someone’s leg if I happen to cross it mistakenly

  18. dup

    June 23, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Chei diaisgod oooooo! Even as adults don’t dey still tell us fibs……………..
    1. Wear pins while pregnant it would prevent evil spirits from entering ur tummy.. laffing hard, this is my speaking in tongues, firing prayer mama. Pls tell me how can safety pin prevent evil spirit oooooooo!!!

    2. The latest I heard now was now am pregnant with my 2nd child, my first child shouldn’t sleep beside me to prevent her from falling ill…………….I don laff taya and dis from my also spiritual and loving MIL.

    Now the childhood fibs…
    3. Don’t eat fish head you won’t be brilliant @ ur academics.

    4. When my siblings and I fought soooo hard, she threaten to run away from us….that immediately made us best friends fast fast cos am from a broken home. So after dad don run, mum go run too…mumba

    & the list is endlesssss.

    Lovely week peeps

    • Abi

      June 23, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      hahahahaha @ the wearing pin…I knew so many women who did that in Naija. God forbid evel spirit.

  19. me

    June 23, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    u guys are forgetting the most common fib to a female child if a man touches u u will get pregnant thank God I knw better. come to think of if that was true I would have become preg more than a hundred times my mama sef

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      June 23, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      Ha! I remember that one.
      Imagine my surprise when I was about 9 years old and was walking home from church. There was the usual press of people and I was grumbling about the crowd when I realized all of a sudden that sex was what everybody did to have children, (including my pastor) not just “bad girls” with the push up bra, red painted lips and loud laugh. Immaculate birth na only once.

  20. lmao

    June 23, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    lmao @ ruby! “a whole FG is owing us, why cant i owe my daughter” sounds so much like what my mama would say!

  21. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    June 23, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    I’m feeling a bit left out today. I am definitely not an ajebutter but nobody pulled any lekeleke on me. If a tooth fell out, the ensuing space was cleaned with clinical precision and the tooth was either thrown away without any ceremony or you were allowed to fuss over it for a while after which interest would shift to something else. I gave up on father Christmas before i could even appreciate the concept. For someone who showed up once a year, I found him quite boring.

    Of course I got the “let me keep the money for you” baloney from my mum, but i saw right through that. Maybe I was just born old already.

  22. From Cambridgeshire

    June 23, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    Atoke: Sorry about your interview feedback. I recall back in the day when I worked in the pharmaceutical industry. We had a full day interview with two PhD holders (on separate days). One was African and highly qualified, and the other was a minority as well but grew up in the states.

    The African job candidate was highly qualified – academic qualifications, and work experience, whilst the non-African was a fresh PhD graduate. The African guy had the lack of eye contact issues. He gave a brilliant presentation, had a good panel interview. However, his one-on-one interview was not that great – I recall he didn’t make much eye contact with me when I interviewed him. Also, when we went out to lunch, he didn’t appear comfortable with the rest of our team. I gave him a good interview evaluation, but the other Senior managers didn’t – they felt he lacked confidence. The other candidate nailed the interview in terms of her confidence level. The girl was even asking about house prices in the Greater New York area, and commute time – like she got a job offer already, lol!

    Employers are not just looking for people to do the job, they are also looking for the right fit for the organization. I recall I went for an interview I was underqualified for. I basically winged the interview – gave them a lot of corporate bs, and management jargons and I got a job offer. This was with a top pharmaceutical firm in the UK. I turned down the job because I knew I was underqualified for it, and would struggle if I accepted the offer.

    We need to consider non-verbal cues, the corporate culture, and even the national culture when going for interviews, not just the job description or job requirement.

    mormusicgroup.blogspot.co.uk

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      June 23, 2014 at 11:12 pm

      Time and again, I’ve referred people for roles that I know without a doubt, that they can carry out with the utmost competence. I’m speaking about people who know exactly what is required for each bullet point of the job description – they’re technically sound and can reel off the necessary accountabilities/objectives of that particular role without missing a beat.

      A lot of them fall at the hurdle of fulfilling this unspoken requirement of many interviewers. It’s hard for Africans because we come filled with one kind of knowledge and not necessarily the other. It wasn’t until I had to start conducting interviews as well that I finally began to see with my own eyes what organizations are look for in candidates and with that knowledge, I started advising friends who were going for interviews:

      – smile when you go in
      – make a little small talk about how you were able to find parking (or figured out the bus route). It’s a nice way for both sides to feel each other out before you jump straight into the ‘nitty gritty’ of the meeting, as it were
      – if they ask you whether you want something to drink and you’re thirsty, do not be unnecessarily polite. Say yes. It’s best to have something to wet your throat if you’re going to be talking for a long while. And it gives you something to do with your hands if you’re nervous.
      – if you don’t know the answer to a question during the interview, smile graciously and say “I’m sorry, I haven’t had the opportunity to deal with that” or something to that effect. Verily, I say unto you, it is better for you to seem like a candidate who is able to seek direction on the job before entering a disastrous situation, than for you to seem like a wild arrow, who’ll blindly head towards danger thinking they know everything when it’s clear that they still lack knowledge
      – don’t just be interested in the job, be interested in the company and in the general team structure. You’ll be working with human beings, not robots and it’s good for you to show some enthusiasm about how your role interfaces with others.
      – finally, the people interviewing you are also not robots and I tell you now, some of the more memorable candidates that I’ve been fortunate to interview, were the ones who asked us questions about ourselves at the end. Simple questions such as “Have you worked with the company a long time?” or even “Do you mind if I ask what sort of background you’ve come from as well?”, these kinds of questions have not gone amiss. It gives you a bit more personality and makes you look interested in knowing who you’ve just met. And the interview has come to an end, so both sides are more relaxed and last impressions like that tend to stick to the mind of the interviewer.

      I don’t know it all but the little I’ve shared has been useful for some people. This issue of “right fit for the organization” can be a really tricky sumtin…

    • iyke

      June 24, 2014 at 5:44 am

      That’s my point! Well done.

  23. DOO

    June 24, 2014 at 2:29 am

    Rotflmao @ Neo; ever wonder why everybody’s parents came first? My guess is that they were not ranked in their time.

  24. tammy

    June 24, 2014 at 3:27 am

    In primary school I was told if your belubelu (uvula) grows long enough to reach your tongue, you will die. Kept checking it for weeks and decided it was definitely growing longer daily. Took my dad’s pen knife, approached my sister and begged her to cut it off cause I didn’t want to die. My poor sister ran indoors screaming at the top of her lungs.

  25. ij

    June 24, 2014 at 9:21 am

    i remember when you ask my daddy for money , first thing he will say is that he is still owing st Nicholas the balance of the hospital bill for my uncle that died there almost a million yrs ago .

  26. Jinmi

    June 24, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    Interesting read but the most funny that seem to all is women kids and money. Just wondering how mums tricked many of us and have our money and nerver give us back you can imagine what dads have suffered from their wives. women ——— money, get from your man and still trick your kid only to have his money chai women there is God o

  27. babygiwa

    June 24, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    @TA, I agree with you. Most of the ‘fibs’ were sometimes used to teach young people about certain ideals and morals. @Mz Socially Awkward, thanks for the tips (I’m a final year student in Unilag), so it is very much needed. My mom used to collect all my gifts and money for ‘safe keeping’ until I entered university. Btw, I maintain eye contact ALWAYS. I went for a scholarship interview and to the glory of God, I nailed it. It was later that the coo told me that apart from answering the questions intelligently, I also maintained eye contact and he asked me to keep it up. Well done Atoke!

  28. Naijagirl

    June 24, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    Atoke and bellanaijarians, please those white spots on nails are not due to vitamin deficiencies as it’s popularly believed ooo. Look up LEUKONYCIA

    But this post was really funny lol.

  29. JohnUwangue.blogspot.com

    June 25, 2014 at 8:07 am

    Mine was when I was in high school, my dad who was an officer in the police force told me that the pop action gun doesn’t kill. I actually went back to school confidently and told them. they mocked my life until I left high school. lol

  30. myss ayanfeoluwa

    June 25, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    mum did the *let me help you keep your money, if you are touched by a man, na belle be that* And i believed in the *if u sneeze on someone you must pinch the person 3times cos it is only dead people that u can sneeze on. so if any of my siblings should mistakenly sneeze on me and refuses to pinch me….omo, na cry me a river things ooo…hehehehehehe! Then i really practiced the *if daddy promises to beat you when he gets back from work, remove three of your eye lashes, wrap them in a piece of paper and throw it by his door. if he walk pass it then you are pardoned! Thank God i dint exhaust my eye lashes…ROTFL! Growing up was fun sha!

  31. maguerita

    July 1, 2014 at 1:57 am

    Wow! Mine was eating mango and drinkin garri is equal to death. When I was not chosen as the leader of the school choir I committed”suicide” bt didnt die. Lol. My frnds cried n cried…ignorance

  32. daydayg

    July 3, 2014 at 10:41 am

    I remember my parent telling me and my siblings to eat beans that is going to make us tall. There is this one they say about, if two dogs are mating and you hit a nail to the floor they will forever stick together unless the nail is removed.

  33. Flames

    July 3, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Really funny post. Most common was definitely “give me d money, lemme keep 4 u” by mom & she actually makes dat comment abt d FG nt paying dia staff. Also, d 1 abt crossing over som1 will make dem short still causes quarrel btwn me n my brodas even though dey’re basically giants nw. D 1 feared most was d 1 wen dey’ll spit on d ground n say dat if u dnt com back 4rm a particular errand b4 it dries up, ur belly button will dry up along wit it-c me as usian bolt-lmao n I cnt rmbr hw many tyms I cried cos my brodas’ feet touched my head while I was lying down n he refused 2 touch it, dey said it’ll make me a dwarf

  34. Flames

    July 3, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Oh n I almost 4got d 1 abt nt talking while u’re cooking bitter leaf(onugbo) else it’ll make d soup so bitter. I still do dat, lolz

  35. busola

    July 7, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    A few yrs ago my mum told me if I prepare moin moin when menstruating,the moin moin will turn out watery.i laughed my ass out.fast forward years after,am expecting my first child and she told me I shouldn’t eat snail cus my baby might not be able to control the saliva coming out of his/her mouth.lol.dat made me scared.

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