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Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: Don’t Post My Child’s Photo on Instagram

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The world is changing, and no matter how hard we try to hold on to ‘The Good Old Days’ we can’t stop this fast train of change. Technology and social media have made the world a really tiny place. So we can keep up with what’s going on beyond our direct environment. If there’s a bus burning on Ikorodu road, you see pictures and get reports almost immediately. But like everything that has a good side, there’s always the flip side to these things.

So we find that we live in a world of exhibitionism. We dress up, we take photos, we post pictures on social media. We want people to see how nice we look (or how nice we imagine we look – this thing about rose coloured lenses). We chuckle when people ‘like’ our photos, and feel a certain “Oh look, they think my shoes pretty”. We subtly seek validation from people who don’t know us. We don’t care. It’s the age of Instagram, Facebook & Twitter and anybody who doesn’t like our display knows where the ‘Unfollow’ button is.

The developers of these apps have also considered the possibility that some people don’t want every dog and its owner sniffing around profiles, so there is protection for accounts -that way, you control who sees what you post. So if you choose to publish pictures of your new born baby, you’re assured that the only people who will see it are the 12 people on your BBM. However, you have no control on what any of those 12 people choose to do with the image you have released.

This is the subject of the dispute that I was privy to recently. Lady A’s 6 year old daughter recently started swimming lessons. So, proud Mama took photos and shared with Lady B – her close friend. Lady B, in her excitement over the pictures wanted to show the world how her cute little munchkin/goddaughter was going to be the next Olympics star. Lady B posted little cute munchkin’s picture on Instagram. Comments and likes flowed and Lady B was happy, until she got a call from Lady A who was ANGRY. Why did she put her daughter’s picture on social media? Why did she violate her child’s privacy like that? Why did she assume Lady A would be okay with having her little girl’s picture on social media. Had Lady B ever seen her (the mother of the child) put up pictures of her children? It was bad. Lady B was mortified.

I asked her if she had asked for permission before putting up the picture. Her friend (who narrated the story to me) said the picture was cute and thought to share. Tolu cut in at this point, “Cute? So? That’s not reason enough to put up my child’s picture. I’m sorry.”.

A lot of times I see people put up pictures of other people’s children on social media and I get scared. One minute it’s an innocent looking photo and the next minute it’s being used as a meme or a flyer for one campaign or the other. When I was in primary school, one of my classmates was in an Omo ad. When I ran into him many years later at Faculty of Law, Unilag, I didn’t remember his name so I said “Hello, Omo boy”. That’s how far reaching some of these things are.

When I asked someone about the subject of using the image of other people’s children on social media, she said “Ah, if you don’t put up the picture now they will fight with you that you didn’t celebrate them”. Someone else said that she only puts up pictures when the parents of the child have done so.

There’s also the scenario where you have a newborn – the parents haven’t gone home with the baby but the newborn’s image is splattered all over Facebook, Instagram and BBM. My friend, Sisi brought up another angle we hadn’t talked about before, “If my child is classmates with your child and you choose to take photographs of your child with his classmates, can you please ensure my child’s face is blurred out when you post it on your Facebook page? Or is this really too much to ask for?”

It’s a fine line and it’s something we didn’t have to worry about when we used paper photo albums. You take pictures, you put them in the albums in your house, your visitors come and you show them. Today, it’s a completely different kettle of fish and we have to re-write the rules of culture and lifestyle.

Do you have any qualms with people putting up pictures of your kids? Do you share photos of other people’s kids?  Or do you think it’s really not a big deal. Let’s talk about it.

Have a fabulous week ahead. The weather forecast is showing that we’ll have a bit of rainfall over here but I refuse to let anything cast a gray shade on my super bright morning. Plus, I’m probably going to be overly excited and hyper this week as my beautiful baby, JoJo got married this weekend in Banjul. My love for that girl is simply out of this world and she deserves the absolute best.

Peace, love & cupcakes.

Toodles!

Photo CreditDreamstime | Photographerlondon

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

81 Comments

  1. laila

    July 7, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Very true! You should always ask for permission before you share such personal pics of someone else with the world. The pic can so viral. It can become a meme etc.. Nice one

  2. Tiki

    July 7, 2014 at 11:39 am

    A friend asked me once to take down a photo of her baby which i had on Instagram. To be honest the photo wasn’t even about her, but about my sister who was carrying the baby and looked reeeally nice! I thought about drawing a black circle over th echild’s face, but you know how Africans are. Next thing it will be that I am putting evil omens on my picture. I took the photo down.

    When I take pics of people whichI intend to publish, I let them know beforehand what my intentions are, so that they have a chance to say no. If possible, I let them see the picture first. And when I put them up, I tag them so that if they have a problem they can tell me.

  3. Cutejay

    July 7, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Atoke, Thank you for sharing this.. The truth is some people genuinely mean know harm and are just celebrating these kids but we never know when this pictures will get into wrong hands… I agree that parents have to give consent before friends post pictures of their kids on social medias.
    I heard a story recently of one crazy girl that posted a friend’s son’s pic on facebook as hers! she didnt even know the baby’s mama.. she got alot of congratulatory messages and when asked of the baby’s name she gave a name sef.. A friend that new the baby’s real mama then commented and said this baby looks so much like XXX baby. the crazy girl immediately blocked the friend off face book!

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      July 7, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      This wanton need to be desirable and reckoned with at all costs… there should be a name for this disease.

  4. Thatgidigirl

    July 7, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Social Media, Destroying relationships since forever. For a while now, my bb dp has been blank because i got tired of wishing ppl happy this and that. If you are close to me, i should be able to call you, text you or whatever and wish you a happy birthday or whatever it is u’re celebrating. Almost seemed like my phone was a radio station with the constant shout outs, some would even tell you that the pic you put up is not fine enough so pls change it….ahn ahn! on top of my own phone again? like i have an obligation to you. Use their pic you’re doomed, don’t use it you’re doomed…you can never please humans.
    P.S-HML to Jojo by the way (dunno know her o, just famzing).

    • jcsgrl

      July 7, 2014 at 4:13 pm

      Aaaargh the unending bbm asoebi! My dear I stopped that nonsense a while back o. I don’t do bday shoutouts again unless its my god babies. During my own time no do asoebi for me. Infact I don’t put up my pic on that day so no one has to feel obligated.
      On the subject ni, I usually post my god babies and close friends pic on bb and maybe fb but nobody has qualms with it. Well until one or two friends accused me of not flaunting their shildren pics on my social media. I know the way I gush on my babies though be making folks jaloux so they wanted their shildren to partook too. I said ok o from now on I go begin to flaunt ya pickin so I can drink water and drop cup. (kai I for talk this one in Igbo. This Ibo-english one no work at all)

    • brules

      July 15, 2014 at 9:22 pm

      @thatgidigirl,one of the many reasons i left bbm,it almost turns you into an hypocrite!

  5. Peaches

    July 7, 2014 at 11:47 am

    Atoke… Thanks for posting this piece.. I do believe its people right to share whatever they want to share about their life etc… But when it comes to kids,, thats another can of worms.. I mean i do post pic on Instagram of my son, but that was in the past.. but i also do believe in respecting peoples privacy by not posting pic of my friends kids etc… Because u dont really know how people will take posting pics.. The more we post, the less we can take back… So personally for me, I have reduced putting pics of fb or instagram of my son., as he has no idea what instagram or facebook is.. i will leave that for him to decide when he’s old enough to understand social media… But i do feel there’s a need to conform, show off and let people know (world, haters etc) to know that one has a good life, family etc… I really do hope we learn to make the right decesions about issues like these.. Celebs need not worry about this… as they live under the watchful eye of the public and meda……

    Have a great week y’all xxx

  6. Que

    July 7, 2014 at 11:49 am

    First of all, ya friend Sisi with d face bluring move= #Clownoflife!!!… so I should go and learn photography cos our kids ended up in d same class…. after if u say d child shld not enter your pikin photo, e go be like child abuse/segregation. Pls tell your child to exclude him’herself from any group photos then.

    Well onto d real issue…I’m not a fan of exhibiting my personal life, be it of myself or my family…..Funny thing is, I probably have more pictures (soft and hard copies) than many of my friends combined…..but its largely for private consumption….. it is on special occassions that I share……so I’d appreciate my friends doing it easy, but it is surely NOT a fighting/shouting issue….if the exposure makes me cringe, I’ll gently express it to my friend, along with why I feel that way….usually, people mean well, and I know my friends approach social media differently than I, so its just to communicate….

    The exception I have is with acquaintances/not-so-close friends/outright doing it for reasons known to them… largely famzing!

    • Jane Public

      July 7, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      Ha Que, you will learn o. When I attend their school plays, as the proud Aunty that I am, or their ballet shows, when I take pictures of them on stage, I always go with my DSLR, and focus on my babies and blur out the other kids. I can’t shout o. Some oyinbo parents are cray cray. The few times I go with my phone, their are apps that allow you shade out faces or put a smiley over faces, and that’s what I do. My sister says I even take better pictures than her,s o she lets me snap away.

    • Que

      July 7, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      Ok, you see I’m already confused…what is DSLR?….. its things like figuring out the unnecessary that I don’t have patience for…. and if you accost me on a bad day, I will either excuse ya pikin frm all my fotos henceforth b4 I snap… or I can send d pics to the concerned party to do d editin n mail me bk….if u want blurring, pls diy!

      I was even bout responding to ur comment bout your friend and dp wahala, I hear these kind of things, never been my experience cos my friends probably know better than to bring it my way…… lord help me cos as I mentioned earlier, my patience for such mumurity ain’t much! I’ve deleted people for less…… if u cant see my updates, then there’ll be nothing to complain about right?…..that way d friendship will be intact till we call/text or see.

      I wish u well, pray for u n support u probably every other day, why should the presence or absence of a dp be an issue? As innn, there are just tjings I do NOT allow fester in my mind!

    • Jane Public

      July 7, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      Hahahahahahahahha, pele. DSLR cameras for want of a better explanation are those cameras you can add or remove the lens in front. Think of those big black Canons or Nikkons. #teamcanon by the way. As for the said friend, that day, I was in a hurry, and I totally forgot, then she made it an issue, I still didn’t use his picture. Message back to her, it is my phone, I can do what I like with it.

    • Que

      July 7, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      Alas there is hope, at least I know their group name now….maybe I’ll learn the rest in another decade…. lol!

    • Que

      July 7, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      Closing paragraph I meant to write ‘…not-so-close friends/outright strangers….’

  7. mrs chidukane

    July 7, 2014 at 11:50 am

    The one that got me thinking the other day is a popular wedding page on Instagram and fb that will put up pictures of kids and say,cute baby girl. Let’s see how many likes she’s got. I’m like,did her parents permit you to popularize their child that way? The other day I saw that Adanna of Adanna and David had become an Internet meme for ibo girls are the most beautiful. I asked the person who put it up if she knows her and she said no. I would hate to see my child as a meme or even a strangers dp

  8. Jane Public

    July 7, 2014 at 11:54 am

    A friend of mine had serious beef with me last month saying on her child’s birthday, I did not put her son’s picture up as my BBM display picture. I only said happy Birthday Seun (not his real name). To prove her point, she took a screenshot of her bbm contacts who used his picture as their DP, and used that screenshot as her own DP with the status message her lil munchkin is popular today, thank you Aunties and Uncles for honouring him. See Gobe!!!! So Atoke, this issue is not cut and dried really. Some parents like it, some don’t. I know of a friend who doesn’t put pictures of her children on facebook. You only ever see their back view, side view or it is totally blurred out. For someone like that, if I take a picture with her children, I will never post it on Social media. When the bambinis come, would I be paranoid like that, most likely not, because how many friends do you want to chase, and as many people would comment today, the majority of friends don’t mean harm, so you watch the kinds of friends you yourself keep. I am the type that would even share sonogram or 3D ultrasound pictures, if I am carrying twins (touch wood, AMEN), anything other than twins, errrrrrrr no need, it is just one baby. My limited Facebook friends of 25 (yes, 25. Lol) know I am a proud Aunty, as their pictures are everywhere on my wall and their parents don’t mind. The only rule I don’t cross is posting pictures when they are in swimwear, underwear etc. That is the only time I would go nuclear on a friend if she posts such pictures when my children are relatively undressed, otherwise, I wouldn’t mind.

  9. M

    July 7, 2014 at 11:57 am

    i think when it comes to kids and pictures of people you may not know personally, one should always seek permission before posting as some people do not want their personal business out in public. If a child below a certain age is not allowed to have a social media account then i don’t see why their pictures should be on it either. Wait until they are old enough to decide.

  10. Tiki

    July 7, 2014 at 11:59 am

    I try not to take it too personal, but some people are just unnecessarily rude/anal about their children. Not just pictures, but food, outings, etc etc. Your child your rules, true, but don’t be surprised when your friends are no longer excited with you about your child!

    • Jane Public

      July 7, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      hahahahahahahahaha @some people are just anal about their children. My dear, tell me about it, some are, but I just shrug past and say it is their children, not mine or related to me. Luckily I have not had truly close friends or relatives who are like that with their children. Phew!!!!

  11. Person pikin

    July 7, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    Well, the only place you can find any pic of my friends’ or their kids is on my BBM, not FB, not IG, not Twitter (for me tho). And I always jocularly mention that i’m stealing the pic for dp purposes. Why put a picture that’s not yours on social media? especially if you did not appear in the pic? Some of these petty things we take for granted are the things that put strains in people’s relationships. The person putting up the pic might not attach any significance to it but then again we never can tell how the owner of the pic might react , especially after a long day in that Abj sun….

  12. www.chelizrubycube.blogspot.com

    July 7, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    nice write up.
    chelizrubycube.blogspot.com

  13. Nat

    July 7, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Nobody has the right to put up other people’s kids pictures on social media without the parents consent. It is out rightly rude, and I do not care how cute the kids are, especially if the parents do not put their kids pictures on social media, why do other people now make it a point of duty to do so. arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh, such people annoy me.
    I use friends kids pictures on my bbm once in a while (and that is as far as I go, I always say bbm is not a social network to me, If I do not know you personally, I do not add you on my contact), but this I do just for friends that I know are okay with it, if a parent never displays her/his kids pictures on bbm, I never do as well.
    Posting people’s children’s pictures on facebook, instagram, twitter etc without their consent is just taking the piss and I will have major issues with any friend that does that to me. Even if you/or your kid takes a picture with my kid and you must post it, biko blur my kid’s face abeg.
    And I think all these private schools in Nigeria should also have strong policies against staff displaying pictures of their pupils/students be it on bbm or other social media sites, I know a lot of these schools don’t have such policies because I know a few staff who do this, I even told a friend of mine once to stop it and she went all defensive that all the kids in the class had individual copies of the pictures and I asked her if she took permission from the 15+ parents before displaying their kids, which is violation of privacy anyways. She told me she has never heard of such a policy in her school or any other school for that matter and this is a school that the fees are in hundreds of thousands for nursery school o.
    Tomorrow now when a kid gets kidnapped people will start wondering who the parents offended not knowing it was as a result of a staff carelessly posting her pupils pictures on social media and the kidnappers decided to have a field day.
    Please let us help ourselves to be security conscious.
    What baffles me the most is when people even go as far as posting their family pictures on sites like Nairaland! kilode, your bbm, facebook, instagram, twitter etc no do you post picture?? It is simply crazy
    Chei forgive my epistle #RantOver.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      July 7, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      Not to rain on your tirade, (miss-use intended) but the fact that you say you do not consider BBM as a social network, yet you post pictures of bambinos there, may be begging the question. Considering the audience viewing the picture is larger than your personal opinion, I think your definition should reflect a larger appreciation of what society would consider social network in this regard. You may consider “Social” to mean people you know as well as well as those you don’t and rate the people on your BBM contacts as your personal peoples (yes) and above the realm of social. But mi dear, If there are more than one people viewing it, its plain social. and its plain sharing on a social platform.

  14. $hadollar$

    July 7, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    Wow… dis is so true! Never tot of it like dis. Even I don’t appreciate others uploading pics of me dat I don’t like. They might nt knw, cos they weren’t paying attention to d other xters in d pics.

  15. Nyelu

    July 7, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    This topic has long since been over due..its a pity how so many pple seek validation from strangers for their day to day life activities through pictures they upload onto the Internet via social media (bbm dp’s and instagram esp). This has made alot of our youngsters turn vain and even delve into narcissism. Hence I believe that Children should be spared this online viral madness and not put up as objects of exhibition to the public. If u wish me or my kids well you could just call or text me (the old fashioned way…lol) I dont need to see myself everywhere.

  16. 123456

    July 7, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    Nice Atoke,personally i do not like the part where the mother and child are yet to be discharged and the new born’s picture is all over bbm and Facebook. welcome baby so so so….

  17. Que

    July 7, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Ok, you see I’m already confused…what is DSLR?….. its things like figuring out the unnecessary that I don’t have patience for…. and if you accost me on a bad day, I will either excuse ya pikin frm all my fotos henceforth b4 I snap… or I can send d pics to the concerned party to do d editin n mail me bk….if u want blurring, pls diy!

    I was even bout responding to ur comment bout your friend and dp wahala, I hear these kind of things, never been my experience cos my friends probably know better than to bring it my way…… lord help me cos as I mentioned earlier, my patience for such mumurity ain’t much! I’ve deleted people for less…… if u cant see my updates, then there’ll be nothing to complain about right?…..that way d friendship will be intact till we call/text or see.

    I wish u well, pray for u n support u probably every other day, why should the presence or absence of a dp be an issue? As innn, there are just tjings I do NOT allow fester in my mind!

    • Que

      July 7, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      This comment was in response to jane public….

  18. Mz Socially Awkward...

    July 7, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    Atoks, it certainly feels different (almost brand new!) being with you in this format. 🙂 🙂

    This topic is the older sister to the other fraught issue of publishing photos of your pregnant friend and her bump. I’ve been burned by that one before (got a short and concise email about taking down the photo displaying said bump) so I know better now about sharing what is deemed as personal to some other people. It’s a different kettle of fish when you’re talking about group photos which feature children and you haven’t asked for permission from the child’s parents. That one, I no too know how you wan take manouver around your right to use your piksho as you please and the right of people not to have the piksho publicized.

    “Ah mean”, how do you manage those conflicting rights when a BellaNaija wedding post, for instance, is featured here with the faces of the little bride and little groom displayed for all to see? Or the photographer zooms in to take snaps of adorable kiddies during the festivities, for us to “oooh” and “awww” over? Maybe the couple tell their guests in advance but I really doubt that every couple puts that much effort into informing guests about what they’re going to be doing with the wedding photos.

    I certainly know the rules are stricter here in the UK and my friend wasn’t allowed to take photos of her daughter’s birthday celebrations at the nursery school the cherub attends because of the other kids involved. An oyibo friend of mine said she has to be careful when recording events at school plays, etc. and often keeps all the parents informed well in advance so that they won’t be offended when she’s parading in front of the stage with her camcoder. And these are just photos/videos which these parents want as keepsakes, imagine the uproar if you said you were publishing them on social media …

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      July 7, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      [Nna, no more comment-awaiting-moderation delays before posts go up? Hian… BN, what does this free access portend for the future?]

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      July 7, 2014 at 12:51 pm

      I wondered as well o.

    • Nat

      July 7, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      Trolls will definitely get her soon with the moderation lifted.

    • Tru

      July 7, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      Nne you and me both

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      July 7, 2014 at 12:52 pm

      You forgot aso ebi bella.

    • Nat

      July 7, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      Aso ebi bella is a totally different thing, in the case of Aso ebi bella, at least it is the parents that send the pictures to bellanaija , and they (parents) know the reason why the pictures are sent. So that is the parents giving express permission for their kids pictures to be posted online.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      July 7, 2014 at 2:00 pm

      Sometimes you even see parents and relatives coming to gush with effusive comments here. My comment should however be read as, Yes, these parents send out pictures of their children to be published. But sometimes they get more than what they bargain for. A person is taken to intend the natural consequences of his action under the law. One may argue that they opened the door, but the pictures are sent specifically to BN, What happens when these pictures appear else where? Whose responsibility is it to police it? It would be foolhardy to blame BN. It is principally because of thoughts like this that this topic is very vital.

  19. Berry Dakara

    July 7, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    I’m a little on the fence. I think my nephew is the most adorable child in the history of the world, and while I post pictures on my Whatsapp or Facebook, it’s only because I’ve set my privacy and security settings. I’ve put him up twice on Instagram and it took a lot for me to post them. My sister isn’t on Instagram, so I don’t feel the need to post her son’s pictures there.

    My reason for being hesitant to post children’s pictures though, is not their parents really… I simply worry about security. I read somewhere that if your GPS is enabled on your phone and you take a picture and post it online, some people can trace exactly where the picture was taken!

    Since I have a blog, I don’t know whether I would put up pictures of my future offspring. I’ve seen other bloggers post pictures of their babies on Instagram though. I dunno. We’ll see.

    berrydakara.blogspot.com

    • Jane Public

      July 7, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      With you, I would say maybe don’t post your nephew’s pictures to instagram because your instagram account is linked to your blog and the whole world can so therefore see it. Us less mortals without blogs can get away with it. If your sister doesn’t mind, then no biggie really. My friend has a blog on documenting her journey as a mum and her photography. She takes amazing shots, and her kids are everywhere.
      bethanychasephotography.com/

  20. Pelumi

    July 7, 2014 at 1:12 pm

    My main fear when I see children’s pictures up is paedophiles. I wonder if there is some weirdo out there who has pictures of whichever child I am looking at in a hard disk drive. It scares me to no end. I have seen a few Instagram profiles where the parents are anonymous and their children are constantly showcased. It is all so creepy.

    I do put up my friends’s children occasionally; when they are celebrating their birthdays and I make sure I take these pictures of their parents’ profiles and I haven’t had any issues so far.

    We are in the Age of Self and oversharing; this has made me even more reluctant to share aspects of my life. I am almost certain I won’t put up pictures of my children on any social medium.

  21. Tru

    July 7, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Ahhhhhh, Atokzy.
    The one that gets me tired is the selfie. The unending selfie. The ever-changing selfie. The daily/hourly/per-second-per-second selfie. When does it stop?
    Oversharing is a disease, methinks. That’s why i’m neither on instagram nor twitter. TMI really is too much.

    • Happy baby

      July 7, 2014 at 5:34 pm

      No be selfie again, groundie thats the in thing.

  22. Ferrari

    July 7, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    I had once put up a beautiful picture of myself, my sisters and our dad on Facebook. One of my sisters called me up and asked if I had asked my dad about putting up his picture on Facebook…i didn’t have to ask, I got the message and took it down immediately.

  23. NaijaPikin

    July 7, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    I don’t understand the craze….it goes beyond posting pics self. Feels like these days pple want to be the 1st to carry anything….pics, gist, good news, bad news.

    – Bridal party posting pics of the bride getting dressed. Husby sees what bride looks like before she walks down the aisle.
    – Pple posting death messages and pictures of non family members. My sisters friend was 9 months pregnant, her brother died in a car accident, the family tried to keep it away from her until after she had the baby. Thanks to fb, and “i must post 1st friends), that didn’t happen.

    If its not your pics, not your gist, not your news, don’t be too excited to post.

    • Ayaba

      July 8, 2014 at 2:48 pm

      I tell u ooh!! thatz how one friend had made plans to go home ooh!! few days before departure her dad died. So family members decided they won’t say anythg since as she is coming anyways. hmmm only for her to log onto FB and saw condolence msgs from frnds on her wall. Haba!! she was like wettin? ah ah who die??? SMH
      Another one was the news of a teacher who died in ma secondary schl. Pple will not go and verify ooh!! they just went straight to FB and delivered the news …..RIP XXX… Lo and behold the man isn’t dead, he was mistaken for another teacher. imagine!!
      Some pple want to be the first to deliver de gist be it good or bad

  24. Idak

    July 7, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    Thank God I don’t do any of Twitter, Facebook or BBM. I have never gotten my head around the whole social media craze. I am very paranoid about sharing my private life . I like being in control of my life and the lack of control around those media scare me.
    I may be wrong but I find the incessant desire to share even mundane parts of our private lives online to be be bothering on a psychological and sociological deficiency.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      July 7, 2014 at 3:27 pm

      I am not on Facebook, Twitter, IG,. My concession to BBM is because of work, I rarely put up pictures or PM’s. I almost lost a very good old friend of mine cos she told me she opened a Facebook account for me. To say that I was livid is putting it mildly. Even at meetings I am angled away from the camera or the one taking the pictures. The time I saw myself on BN, I was not facing the camera even though I did not know one was snapping away. I am paranoid about being in group photographs, although I make the occasional exception. I was at a wedding on Saturday and almost lost my temper with several photographers wanting to take pictures. My date had the unfortunate task of warding them off when he saw I was about to explode. I don’t understand selfies, they upset me. May be because there is something staged… forced about them. Thank God I can afford to be myself.

    • viva

      July 7, 2014 at 4:30 pm

      I could not agree with you more! Whenever I want to do something I always carefully weigh the pros and cons. I can see little or no benefit in being on this Social media sites. Why waste precious time posting endless selfies, comments etc? The only persons making all the money is the CEOs of these sites!!!

  25. Zen

    July 7, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    My “friend” and I were at a wedding and she took a picture of us on her phone we both looked at it and agreed it was really unflattering to me, imagine my shock when my friend made the same pic her Facebook profile picture, the picture was up for a month…… We are no longer friends…….

    • Nuna

      July 7, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      That’s really mean of her. Frenemies abound

    • jcsgrl

      July 7, 2014 at 4:31 pm

      Chei some people are wiikedi!

    • MissBee

      July 21, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      The same thing happened to me. After taking 4-5 pictures imagine my dismay when my “friend” decided to post the most unflattering of them all (which she looked good in) on Instagram. By the way, this isn’t her first time to do that.

  26. Honey drop

    July 7, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Hmmn, this is the 1st time i am posting a comment but i couldn’t resist doing so. I took a friends’ baby’s pic when I went over to hers shortly after she had a baby. My friend was not in the room when i took the picture but her husband and other relatives were there. I showed her the pic on her return.
    Later that evening, i got a text from my friend – thinking it was a ‘thank you for coming to see me’ text. It wasn’t!!! She blasted me like i have never been blasted ever in my life. Basically, i should have asked for her permission. I was stunned at the way she spoke to me and even more stunned because the baby’s pic was all over facebook!

    • Cannime

      July 7, 2014 at 5:37 pm

      Can you just imagine that.. lol Pele.. lol Some people are very dramatic..lol

    • Que

      July 7, 2014 at 6:20 pm

      I just felt like crying for you…..#pained. And it didn’t even happen to me….

  27. Dea

    July 7, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    It’s not just about kids. Adults as well. In my uni here in UK, when events are publicised, they state that pictures/recordings from the events may be used for media activities, hence anyone averse to that should inform them. They still ask people to indicate at the event if they don’t want their pictures taken.

    I think it’s largely because it’s a Law faculty and IP for that matter. Our lectures are not recorded for similar reasons and if a student wants to, (s)he has to seek the lecturers permission.

    I almost broke someone’s camera at a club recently because the person insisted on taking pictures. I was furious as I had repeatedly warned this person. First, we are not friends. Second, it was not at his behest that we were out. Third, I have no idea where those pictures will end. I just want to go out and have fun without bothering about pictures/recordings going viral. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas please.

    People should learn to gauge their friend’s reaction to social media before posting pictures et al. It may be your phone or your account, but as I am the subject matter, I have a say.

  28. From Cambridgeshire

    July 7, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    I usually tag parents if I have their kid’s pictures on my Facebook. With school events pictures I crop out the other kids – the school make parents sign documents that state the pictures taken at school events will not be posted on social media.

    I think part of the problem stems from making your pictures available for public view. Anyone can have access to the pictures. I have no clue why anyone would make their private pictures or children’s pictures ‘public’. It also helps to set your facebook etc so only people who are close friends can view your pictures. I have some acquitances, distance relatives etc that added me on Facebook – they can’t view my pictures, or certain status updates.

    mormusicgroup.blogspot.co.uk

  29. Dea

    July 7, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Lecturer’s*

  30. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com

    July 7, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    I’m indifferent about this. As a matter of fact I’m just giving whether I have ever put up pictures of my nephews/nieces online before or not and trying to remember if my sisters have ever put their pictures up. I wouldn’t mind when I have my own kids though.

  31. bam bam

    July 7, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    the ills of social media…

  32. FTM

    July 7, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    I’m currently pregnant and my son will be born anytime now by Gods grace. However I will not be putting a picture of my sons face on any social network inc bbm and whatsap maybe il put a pic of his fingers and toes but I would never ever put his face on social media. If anyone requests for his picture they should come & visit him and when they come they can take pics but must not post any pics on social media that’s my rules.
    Simples

  33. reverse

    July 7, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    People are just too uptight these days, post o, don’t post o… I don’t care. As far as the picture is decent and not used for advertising, life is too short to worry about little issues

  34. Ada

    July 7, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    I’m not one to take permission before putting up my cousins or relatives pictures on social media. Perhaps I’ve never thought of it before but I really mean no harm, I love when people comment about it. Recently, my little cousin came to visit and she kept taking selfies with my phone and even asked me to take pictures of her which I did. I mean…she has a Blackberry phone and everyone of these pictures goes on her DP so I guess I’m in the clear when it comes to placing her picture on my facebook and IG. Anyways…different strokes for different folks…

  35. Yvonne

    July 7, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    I dont like facebook,whatsapp,twitter and IG..bbm is a necessary evil,i dont know why i haven’t deleted that app.But i dont change dp’s or pm’s..u ping me and we talk thats all. All this birthday hype is a No No for me and I dont expect to be hyped too..will it take you to heaven?? I’m a very quiet,low key person.
    Truth is, I think permission should be granted by parents before posting their kids pic. I use the exact pics my friends as their dps when showcasing their kids so that when the probing starts,we’ll know that dodo is different from suya..
    in the end i’m really indifferent on these issues

  36. ola

    July 7, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    This is a very dicey subject. I’m careful what I put on social media. I only put up photos of me and my kids. If I take pictures with others I don’t put them up or I simply crop them out. I no want anybody’s wahala.

  37. Cannime

    July 7, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    Sometimes we just all seat in our houses or office and complicate our life. I see the point and reasoning in both ways. Definitely take permission from a parent before posting a pic.. long and short.. if the pics is decent and not offensive… I dnt see a problem. I dnt believe in all the extra rules we create for ourselves… Do what works for you.. IF you want to share your pics do! If you dnt want to.. Dnt! Most importantly do not share pics of anyone with out asking for permission.. I have had friends share horrible pics of me and I know how that feels.

    Its a free world.. do what works for you and try not to hurt anyone or step on any toes. Dnt criticise does who share their pics and those who don’t.. Just focus on your life… these things add unnecessary stress.. lol..

    Have a stress free week all.

    • Cannime

      July 7, 2014 at 5:52 pm

      *Sit
      *those

  38. D

    July 7, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    I don’t post pictures of myself, or anyone or not my niece or cousin’s kids who I think are super cute. First, for myself because it only one person making a negative comment about their looks and I will be up in flames (and there are some mean people in this world and they don’t care that they are talking about kids). Secondly, I have seen people on Facebook with children’s picture saying oh type amen and you will have your own. On somebody’s pikin pisture? for what? for why? and yes pedo… men….they are all over. I have a Facebook and I have a nice picture of a nice flower arrangement on there. I told a friend/colleague recently I will get an IG account and others when I have my own business and it will be for business purposes only. But I had a friend who had a baby awhile back and since we don’t live close I was yet to see the baby and she told me she did not want to post the baby’s picture on facebook. It is a scary world out there but for those asking me to blur pictures of their children in a group picture, Omo tell you child to stay away from group pictures then because I have a right to that picture.

  39. Deni

    July 8, 2014 at 1:33 am

    Atoke,
    You are too right. It is not okay to post photos of people’s kids if they haven’t given you express permission to. Irrespective of if the parents have posted photos or not. So because someone put up their child’s photo as their bb display photo, you should take to your instagram and start posting away? Even photos of adults sef, you should ask their permission before you do any such thing.
    We think people are tripping for not wanting their kids photos floating about in cyberspace till you are in that situation where your kid’s photo is used as a meme. The mortification you will feel will be reason enough to come up with seemingly unreasonable rules for sharing your child’s photo.
    If you are mad about it, ask yourself one question. Is it your child? Na you born am? If the answer is no, you really shouldn’t be.

  40. Amynwa

    July 8, 2014 at 8:27 am

    You are really on point with this write-up. People really need to be cautious when dealing with children. You don’t know the heart of every man. Worse is even when a lady kisses another person’s baby!! It really gets me mad! Yuck!

  41. photog

    July 8, 2014 at 8:55 am

    I am a photography enthusiast so I do love taking pictures. I am sensitive about putting up the pictures I take on social media. I do take a lot of good pictures especially of my colleagues and those I put online and tag them because they love it. When I take pictures of family members or friends on request I usually think real hard before putting up any. To make it easier for me I created my own page on social media so all the works I put up are more an expression of photography than , ‘Hey that’s my cute colleague’. Even then, I am careful about what I put up. There are colleagues I know who don’t mind having their pics on social media these ones I always put up, some I know are sensitive so I just send them their pics and only if they put it up do I add to my page.

    As a hobbyist photog you are required to ask permission before taking anyone’s photo and they need to know what you are going to do with it and approve of it. I guess other than taking pics of a crime scene for evidence one needs to consider other people’s privacy.

  42. OhNoYouDidn't

    July 8, 2014 at 11:01 am

    When my late husband was being laid to rest a few years ago, friends and well-wishers attended the burial and showed so much support. I couldn’t have been more touched. Alas, months later when I eventually ‘came back to the land of the living’ so to speak, and went on facebook, I saw that someone had posted picture of the casket being lowered into the ground at the burial. Why? So that people can say heeya? Since when has that become acceptable without seeking permission? It baffles me when grown people don’t know where to draw the line.

  43. Ayaba

    July 8, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Well as for me, whenever i put up a profile pic on FB or whatsapp, it is me, myself and i. lol cos i always say i love myself too much to not have a pic of me as my profile pic. By the way it’s my account, my profile so it needs to have my pic as profile pic. But i have put a pic of my cousin and her baby as my profile pic bec i loved the connection they portrayed in the pic but i did dis with her permission. i also put a niece’s pic as profile pic on whatsapp once and it was when she passed, it was ma way of mourning. I also don’t spread pics sent to me and dis was just sthg dat didn’t sit ryt with me from within not that i was afraid of annoying the owners….hmm. But pics from an occasion (my frnds and i) hmm i put oooh!! without permit. No one has reprimanded me yet.

  44. Deep Soul

    July 8, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    I think it’s a big deal.

    After my traditional wedding, to my absolute horror, a friend of mine had posted ALL my wedding pictures on facebook AND tagged me for good measure. I was absolutely horrified!

    I had to get past how hurt she might feel and tell her to take them down. After I had my baby, I also did not put up her picture immediately, for no particular reason. This same friend, having learnt her “lesson” had to ask for permission to share my baby’s picture.

    I only think it’s proper that if the “owner” of the picture has not put it up, the proper thing to do is ask for permission. Not everybody is interested in showing the world what goes on in their lives!

    And I joined instagram not too long ago and choi!!!! It seems to me as if some people live life with instagram in mind because the things I see ehn! They can’t be anything near reality biko!

  45. tina

    July 8, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    people have to be very careful what they put on social network, even though the pictures are meant for close friends or for close relative to see no matter di web security there are ways for other people to get access to those pictures and to get access to every information about the person.
    there are lots of people that are missing and lots of kids are victims of abuses, what people dont know is that there are no securities in any social network there are people who take and keep this pictures and they know everything about them, so please mothers, fathers, aunties,uncles etc be very careful we are talking about kids and not an object.

  46. Kili

    July 11, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    That’s how my friends and I went partying a while back ( my bf, his friends and their girlfriends too) only for me to see myself tagged in a picture about 2 weeks later by one the ladies. I was so mad but didnt address the issue for reasons I don’t know.
    We aren’t close, I only added on FB out of courtesy.

    WE
    EW

  47. sum1special

    July 15, 2014 at 11:08 am

    A random friend, whom i am not that close to posted a picture of my new born niece on her instagram, and i didnt find it funny. I put up my niece’s picture as my bbm display picture and she immediately posted it. People should either ask you before doing stuff like that or congratulate and move on. No courtesy whatsoever. I hadn’t posted my niece’s picture on instagram and she already did, like who sent you?

  48. brules

    July 15, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    Oh Lordy!how do people manage bbm,fb,IG,twitter,and all those social media platforms,so many times it just unleashes the foolishness/silliness in you. I had to respect myself and leave bbm. I couldn’t handle all the mumurity

  49. Oghenekaro

    July 17, 2014 at 9:45 am

    Imagine how unsafe and weird life would have been if our grand-parents had fb,twitter,IG,bbm et al available to them in their generation and then posted pics of us to the entire world.
    I hate going public about every detail of my life.I wont love it either if someone else does it to me.I think anyone who has to know details and pieces of my life should know me personally as a friend that i trust with such details.I have fb account and my privacy settings are strictly set.
    I really hate d fact that almost evryone is going public about their lives,no more hidden details of our lives outside the public eye.I know people may mean well but i exclude myself from group photos because i have no idea whose person’s phone or social media account i would find it next.I dont even allow relatives of mine to have my pic on social media.I wouldnt have loved it either if my parents publicized me when i was born(glad there was no social media nonsense then).I wont do it to my kids,when they grow old enough and seem to like the social media publicity,then they could go ahead and have photos of themselves on the internet.
    I love my privacy and share details of my life(be it marriage plans or kids) to few selected people i really trust.If you want to see my newborn baby,u berra have to visit and see for yourself.

  50. Aya T

    August 4, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Learnt a whole lot from d write up by Atoke and all the comments. Never knew it was wrong to put up peep’s pix w/out their permission oo.abeg how can I set privacy control on dis media sites biko??????

    • Ashley

      September 16, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      ….. AyaT,

      You most likely find Privacy under Settings. Remember though, its a circle if you dont do it to others its easier not to do it to you.

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