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Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child? Comedian Wale Gates shares his Parent-Child Violence Experience via Twitter

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Wale Gates July 2014

We often pride ourselves with this thing called ‘African Culture’. However, we find that it is often used as both a sword and a shield for a lot of unsavoury acts. Domestic violence and child abuse are some of the things that are masked beneath the veil of ‘African Culture’.

We share our experiences of how we dare not try some things with our parents, or else, we’d be beaten black and blue. Even when you listen to African American stand up comedians, you hear them talk about how parents ‘whoop the black out of you’.

This morning, Nigerian comedian, Wale Gates shared his personal experience on Twitter. There are a lot of questions raised. One of them is the quote that says ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’.  However,  how does one find the balance between not sparing the rod and domestic violence?  Is any and every kind of beating justifiable? Do you think parents who employ this mode foster more fear than respect in their children?  Or do you believe that the end justifies the means, thus if a child turns out okay then the parents deserve a pat on the back for whatever method they used.

Please read the tweets below and share your thoughts.

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This was an interesting response from one of his followers. It makes one think about the position of parents on their methods of upbringing.

44 Comments

  1. Olori Tari

    July 9, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    When i read this yesterday, I kind of felt sorry for him. But I had to quickly remind myself that if I was in the court hearing the case with other Barristers, no one would go ..”well, his dad must have pushed him to the wall, let”s pardon him”. So yeah, his dad’s “strictness” is really no excuse for such…NONE at all.

    But I feel sorry for him, I wish he didn’t go through that route tho. He could have at least considered his mum and sister.

  2. wichway

    July 9, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    bros WaleGates, indeed i can see from ur pix as posted that ur gospel of “spare the ROD spoil the child” is conspicuous…LOL

    • slice

      July 9, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      yes o. happy i’m not the only one that can see it. hehehehe

  3. Hype9ja.com

    July 9, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    There really was no reason to kill his dad. He was 21 and had multiple options

  4. Simi(#teamgbemi)

    July 9, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    This article is such a welcome development to changing our parenting style in Africa!The ‘because I said so’ era is long gone..the things children are exposed on a daily basis is appalling and rather than maul children all in the name of discipline,one must connect to that humane part on a daily to impact knowledge, to listen,to understand,to love unconditionally,to seek professional help,to draw closer to God.
    However,it’s relatively easy to birth a child but it takes a lot to be a parent.Some(I use this very loosely to avoid generalization) parents never had that love they needed from their parents acts of responsibility(food,clothing,shelter,education) was all they got…most of them didn’t get that comforting,reassuring love only God and parents should give and thus not being able to transfer that to their own children.
    ‘You can’t give what you don’t have’ I have always found that saying a ‘cop-out’.
    A parent’s way of showing love impacts or impairs generations.
    The first time your female child hears ‘I love you’ from a human being shouldn’t be from a teenage boy and vice versa.
    We are breeding an angry and resentful generation and it’s only going to change if we break the norm and get to know these children and not continue to project the frustrations of our lost youth on them.

  5. gbemsy

    July 9, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    FACT

  6. funke

    July 9, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    well wale gates , am sure u are a yourba person. “yourba bo, won wi, toh omo e ko ba le ni isimi… omo ti a ba toh, ko tun tun ara e toh.”

    i went through beatings, badass beatings from my mum, my head been shoved against the wall, had serious cane marks on my back almost everyday and for the slightest of things, i feared her, the sound of her car horn or even her voice would have me re-arraigning myself and make her think i was sleeping or reading.

    but right now all of those beating paid off , we are even best of friends and you cant even find a single mark on my body, yes i was stubborn with very sharp mouth . but no matter what , not for any foolish reason did i ever try or even think of retaliating. the day i try that , that’s the day i would meet my maker.

    no matter the beatings , no matter what he’s father had done, he had absolutely no right. why didn’t you beat your dad back or try to push him to the wall.
    just has he as claimed , hes deff on drugs.
    even if the law frees him , its very clear in any religious law or with any tribe . for this , he has been caused and he wuld suffer for it. he can never reach hes father’s age,
    and it would only take the gracious grace and mercy of God for him to get out of this.

    he did’t just stab he’s father , he butchered him….. have read profiles of killers and for you to butcher a person let alone your own father, boy, you are on some diff type of ish …. your level is not here.

    • Cancel Reply

      July 9, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      You are totally missing the point. Please read Wale’s tweets again!

  7. Person pikin

    July 9, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    Excuse me!!!!!! but I am a bit distracted by the bulge on his left thigh on the cover photo of this post!
    What da ****!
    *sprinkles holy water on my imaginations*
    Ok lemme go and read his tweets! Sorry to digress.

  8. Nigerwifediary.blogspot

    July 9, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    I use painless smacks (not a rod) to train the child…

    nigerwifediary.blogspot.com

  9. Dee

    July 9, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Yes no beating justifies killing his Dad but Wale has a point, years of senselessly beating a child for every small “error” can result into resentment and hatred on the part of the child. I don’t believe the boy reacted based on that day’s slap alone but possibll based on all the beatings and slaps his whole life. A friend of my brother’s ran away and came to stay at mine while growing up. Initially we didn’t know he had run away but after a few days my Mum thought it was suspicious that his parents hadn’t called so she called them and that’s when we found out he had run away. My Mum asked him questions and then the boy showed her all the scars on his body! What kind of so called discipline is that! Next thing the dad showed up and right in front of us he was slapping and hitting his son and he insisted he had a right to take his child home. All this time the mother stood by sobbing, I suspect he beat her too. If that child snaps one day can one blame him? What some parents call discipline is systematic torture.

  10. Ife Love

    July 9, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Yea! Parents could be over bearing at times but that doesn’t give one the right to kill them. It’s not as though you would go about killing everyone who hurts you. I had My fair share of beatings from my dad as a child but I hold it not against him as he acted based on the upbringing prevalent in his era.
    By the way Bella, I like the email newsfeed you sent today though i havent gotten it in a long time-I can actually read full posts in it. *tumbs up*. You can only get better

  11. Thatgidigirl

    July 9, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Sometimes parents take their frustrations out on their kids, like wale said you could receive several slaps for something really trivial. Usually when a mother brutalises her children in the name of discipline, she’s probably taking out her anger from an unhappy marriage on the kids, or the father is taking out his frustration at life or financial stress on them. Bottom line, to reduce the likelihood of violence in your home, in any form at all please try to marry the right person. And in answer to wale’s question, i would not hit my kids the way my mum hit me because times have changed, we are more civilised now and psychologists/ modern research have shown us better ways to chastise a child. However, whilst i do not miss those beatings i believe they helped me become who i am today, and no i am not traumatised or angry.

  12. pacesetter808

    July 9, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    @ Funke…. What the boy did was totally unjustifiable. no one in his/her right senses will ever justify hacking ones’ father to death. You stated that you faced same or similar treatment from your mum and you’re best friends now. Thresholds differ from person to person. Besides, you don’t know the extent to which the boys’ father pushed things. Years of abuse can lead one to reacting in a manner which you’ll end up blaming yourself. My experience as a child was quite similar to Wale Gates. My dad was indeed very caring but strict beyond limits. He wasn’t too reckless with the rod as he wasn’t a firm believer in corporal punishment. However, his rules and policies were too draconian and he’ll say on numerous occasions “You can’t pontificate to me because I’m your father, you do whatever I want you to do”. My siblings reacted in ways different from how I reacted because they were too scared to object to whatever he said. I’m wired differently, the best way to make me see sense to whatever you have to say should be in ways other than force/aggression. The resultant effect was myself turning into a rebel. I always wanted to go against the laws (both at school and home) because I thought it was all BS and didn’t see any reason for conforming to standards. I got into an argument with my dad at the tender age of 17 and I got hit by him (something he seldom does). I had so much anger in me that I hit him back. Here I am, much older and matured(age is not directly proportional to maturity I must say) and I see a lot of sense to things he used to say back then. We get along so well you’d think we’re brothers when I’m on the phone to him. I’m the only one that can convince him to do what he wouldn’t normally do out of all my siblings. Without digressing too much from the subject matter, emphasis should be made on how parents correct their children. I have a child now myself and I can’t fathom a parent wanting bad for his/her child. However, the approach must be right. Parents should correct in care and love, not trying to show who’s superior or what not as this can spring up very adverse traits in children.

  13. deb

    July 9, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    Hmmm. I totally agree that one should treat. Children gently. This is my own story: I am the first child born OCT 87, my sis Feb 89. My mum prefers my sis to me 101 times that even few days to my wedding my mum still told me that me and my sis are mate so my sis too will marry in few months(she is yet to) My sis is so disrespectful, I can’t send her on errands, in second school she comes to my class to shout on me and embarrass me. Back in second sch. My mum told my sis that she would give her money to buy fine clothes like the ones I wear( our family friend whom my sis coaches in mathematics told me, she dint even know the gravity we were all kids) and I do all the household chores alone, cooking for every body And yeah, my mum beats me mercilessly, rams my head into the door, kicks me, canes me and all sort. She always wished my younger sis was better than me, so mine was emotional and physical torture which I became aware of from the tender age of 10. Nothing in this world justifies you killing your parent(maybe except in self defence) but no matter how bad a parent is to you, I think it is better to flee the home. I couldn’t run away but I. Kept many friends dat visited [email protected] Me and my siss we can never be friends plus my mum too. I buy them stuffs but it’s neva enuf, they will still say [email protected] back, resent me for giving younger fam friend things instead of giving my sis(things she can’t even use) im now a lawyer, happily married and getting over it. My mum and my sis are not good friends but my sis keeps my mum’s money and her name is the password to all my mum’s mail address and (money vaults). What I have to say in conclusion is that no matter how mad your parents treat you, do not let them push you into anger, how ever flee from home or confide in a family member. I couldn’t do both but GOD saw me through. P.S. This my mum is my biological mum. Thank you

    • Cancel Reply

      July 9, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      Wow!So so sorry to hear your story. You grew up in such a toxic environment. It is shocking and sad that a mom would act that way to her own BIOLOGICAL daughter. *hugs*

    • deb

      July 9, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      Thank you so much. I cried all night everyday from my 10- 24 years. I thank GOD forhis strength.

    • Jane

      July 9, 2014 at 6:09 pm

      Wow this is some deep story……thank God you escaped it whole.

  14. April Laugh

    July 9, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    Haha, this reminds me of my own story with my ‘father’. He wanted me to study Law at all cost because he believed I was going to make a good Lawyer. I love Journalism but he declined all admissions at the age of 16 and I couldn’t retaliate. I eventually got an admission to study Law but I wasn’t into it and I opted out to follow my dreams. He cut off all forms of communications for over 10years because I didn’t study Law. To be honest, his attitude only made me a stronger woman and more determined to achieve success. I made a decision long time ago to allow my unborn children to follow their dreams, guide them and support them. Beating your children to a point of coma or opposing what they want to be will only drive them away from you.

  15. anonymous

    July 9, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    We all call my dad terrible in my house,he once picked the centre table and threw at my brother because now we all stand up to him when he is talking trash so now he needs to carry bigger things to scare us. in the olden days,he will beat us mercilessly just cos he can,like 7 years ago when he still used to beat us,after the beating he will have high bp for days cos he strains himself and we have outgrown his isn. Now sometimes i think i hate him & off course don’t pray for him,but usually i wish he will just travel out forever and go marry another person cos i believe he’s frustrated. Now I’m i and my siblings in a better place,off course,is it cos of d beating,definitely NOT,I’m where i am today because i strived to be a better person,because i wanted to be a better parent than my dad.

  16. NaijaPikin

    July 9, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    In all of these, remember that thresholds differ. What can set you off might just be a minor thing to me. Add the fact that lots of people are walking around with undiagnosed mental illnesses. May the grace of God be with us all.

  17. Bee

    July 9, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    Purple Hibiscus comes to mind but not all are so domicile. I for one deem what some parents did in the name of discipline as physical, psychological and emotional abuse.

  18. dp

    July 9, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    With all this stories i just pray i am a good mother to my amazing daughter (my sisi baby), cos i think it is really a hard work

  19. Lee

    July 9, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    My parents flogged, cained me on a regular. Did it pay off? yes it did, no doubt.. Am i thankfull for the result of the beating? Yes i am, dad thank you! Will i cain my child too? Yes i will, but not to the extend and for some of the reasons i was cained. The result of my friends and neighbors whose parents refused to cain their children? Lets just say, majority are still hustling to get their bearing… One even called his dad when he was 25 and blamed him for what he has become… smokes weed, no job. While my dad was purnishing me for being the 10th in a class of 50 to 60, their dads only barred them from watching their favorite soaps for a week or two for being the 30th in class. Now, they call to beg me for money giving ridiculous excuses and i know its just weed and beer money they want. Was i scared of my dad, yes! was he respected? of course!! There goes your answer, you can decide to stop your child from watching Disney as a form of purnishment. I once saw a video of a child slapping the mom and she couldnt do anything, a 10 year old child!! Olorun ko ni je!! This your picture is worse than the nudity we see in videos!! totally inappropriate picture.

  20. lily

    July 9, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    well, the bible is still right with its message ‘”spare the rod and spoil the child” although in a loving, caring manner

  21. Simi

    July 9, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    I wonder why ‘spare the rod spoil the child’ is directly translated to an actual rod,table,chain,omorogun,belt and the like…
    The problem with beating a child is sheer lack of communication because what I understand is rather than waste time explaining my actions and consequences to me,you will rather flog me and be done with today’s lesson.
    ‘The fact that your parents beat you yet you turned out better’ should be ‘in spite of the beatings you turned out well.
    It is interesting to note that beating as a form of discipline emanates from slavery.
    I will definitely punish my children to set them straight but by taking or depriving them of what they really love for a reasonable period of time..you only get to know what they love by getting very close with your children.

    • Jane Public

      July 9, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      Thank you very very very much. I wasn’t going to comment until I saw that someone else was already thinking in that same light. When I read such comments of I am better off because I was beaten, I think of Stockholm syndrome. They fell “in love” with their abuser, and in their head reasoned that the reason they are successful now is the beating, so they must have deserved it to get where they are now. In all cases, they bring out examples of parents that didn’t hit their children and how useless the kids have turned out. The other end of the bad parenting scale doesn’t make for good argument sorry. There are millions of children in the world that were never hit and turned out brilliantly. Le Boo is one of them. never, ever was he hit as a child and he is an absolutely brilliant man any mother would be proud of. My mother and I have had long talks about it, one day she cried and apologised. I was the most stubborn of her children and she whooped me real good. Using the rod is abuse, I am sorry. Abuse of power. You are older and bigger and a child is smaller and can’t fight back. Would you hit an adult that misbehaves, so why is it okay to hit a child? Okay, a child can’t reason like you right? How many unreasonable childish adults have we met in our lives, did we ever hit them for misbehaving? No. Caning is lazy parenting, sorry. Very lazy. It is the easiest way out. Rather than sit down and talk to that child, try other tactics, which we must be honest is very hard, we just let our anger rule and use our hands. We teach our children to use their words but not their hands, yet those rules don’t apply to mummy’s and daddy’s. I am grateful, I am with someone who will never hit our child. It was a deal breaker for me in a previous relationship. If we couldn’t agree on something as important as raising children, let us go our separate ways. Anytime I present the argument, what about children that were NEVER hit and turned out beautifully, No one has been able to give me a sensible comeback. NO ONE. Because beating is all you have ever known, doesn’t mean it is the best way. Step into the light and try other methods. Other methods work. Hitting a child is NOT the only way to instill discipline. Reign in your anger. My nieces have never been hit, and my sister got a whooping herself, but guess what, those 2 are the most delightful children. Naughty and precocious, they can drive you crazy sometimes, but they have been taught boundaries, and they know their limits. Punishments are dealt out when necessary. They are the living proof to my mum, that beating is not the only way, and she has come to accept it

    • Ufuoma

      July 9, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      Hi jane public! I absolutely agree with you that beating a child sometimes reflects parental laziness.But I PERSONALLY(all caps for emphasis) take issue with you saying those kids who are grateful to their parents for not sparing the rod are suffering from Stockholm syndrome,me thinks it’s a tard harsh to equate a parent trying their hardest to bring up a relatively decent human being with a person or persons who deliberately kidnap other people and keep them in bondage and servitude. Just my two cents

  22. ore

    July 9, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    The same Bible that says “spare the rod and spoil the child,” “madness is in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away” also says “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.” In other words, BALANCE IS KEY!

  23. Etebefia

    July 9, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    I do not support the boy killing his Father, But Wale made very valid points. There is always a moment when people snap. My own Father was a Monster when i was a child. He stole the innocence of my childhood. He beat me so much and so violently that i prayed to God to die. I was ten years old. I ran away from him twice!. Years have gone by and i have forgiven my Father, but i know now that he had anger issues and he was not fit to be a parent. Some Parents are fighting their demons and they take it out on children.

  24. funke

    July 9, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    i totally agree with treating kids gently , i don’t plan on beating my kids the way i was , am in-fact totally against it. but my point here is us digressing form the point , he did the unthinkable. he’s not the first or last to go through the same. kids are some times unbearable and disappointing. the things we do and the ways we act and talk to our parents …. Lord have mercy! i didn’t like my mum for almst 18yrs of my life but now i understand why she disciplined me dat way. he’s dad might have had it up to hes throat and thats why he hit him. i went to expensive schools and have seen spoilt and unruly kids . he said hes on drugs , trust me, its one of two ways , he might have had the calmest father in the world who has been embarrassed alot by hes son.
    that your folks hit you, gives you no right to take any law into your hands . you wouldn’t find if funny if you correct your child and he or she says that you should shut up. so we shouldn’t justify hes act, or find a curve to it cause he might have been violated nd in-case u didn’t know he was facing disciplinary committee in he’s school. before he did this.

  25. le coco

    July 9, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    i totall agree with wale… nd thos of u saying that years of abuse doesnt justify murder.. u r totally right.. however one must consider the state of mind of such a person… after all the abuse nd anger i doubt he was thinking rationally

  26. Aibee

    July 9, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    A lot of people confuse discipline with punishment. The truth is a well disciplined child rarely needs any punishment. Where punishment is necessary, it should always be done in love. When scolding children, your words should be seasoned with salt. The sandwich approach works better everytime – compliment, correct and compliment. If you chose to beat, let it be done in love and as suits the punishment. Why take a belt to a child of any age? Is (s)he a goat? If you need a belt to beat some sense into a child, its because you didn’t get something right in the formative years.

    Truth be told, in this age that we live in, your children are exposed to more than what you teach them. So as parents, you must step up your game and go out of your way to find out what your children are learning outside. Reinforce what needs to be reinforced and correct what needs correction. But waiting until your child is too old and stuck in his ways to change will only lead to sad cases like this.

  27. nene

    July 9, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    totally agree with him. religious parents are too strict and wicked to their children, all in the name of religion. a mother blended pepper and put it in her daughters’ vagina because she saw her daughter with a boy, and she insisted that her daughter was no longer a virgin.

  28. lola

    July 9, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    i agree with wale , when i read the story i actually felt a bit sorry for the boy because parents can be so wicked and claiming they are training the child.

  29. dee

    July 9, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    @jane public, na only u get boo ni? hain!..lol..le boo dis..le boo dat…we sef get boo na…tongueout
    bak to d mata..hmmnnn.. i thot i was d only child who suffered beatings i. d hands of a wicked father..yes wicked.. i knw d diff btwn strict and wicked… beat me for almost evrything…. i grew up hating him sooo much wt a passion..dt i even had to question my mum if he was my real father…grew up as bitter child..thak God for Jesus and loving friends and my sweet mum..dat showed me another side of life dats sweet.. when i grew beyond d beatable age..he still uses his words to beat me deeper..even on his sick bed tilk he died… did i miss him? never! small sha..
    theres time for everythn..time to beat and to counsel… beating dosnt in ANY way make a child better..it only causes a lot of emotional probs for a child..in my case..i was bitter..fearful..had lowself esteem..lacked confidence..timid… list goes on..bt i thank God for changing my life and making a better confident..loving lady.

  30. Ufuoma

    July 9, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    Aunty Bella na wa oh! Swallowing comments today I see! Anyway I think each parent has to study each individual child and see what they respond to in terms of rewards and incentives,see if they respond to the stick alone,the carrot or both the carrot and the stick.just my two kobo

  31. Iris

    July 10, 2014 at 1:38 am

    YES some beating is justified and YES a balance can be found. The day I threw a cushion into a plate of stew because I didn’t want to eat, I was beaten until I called for the angels and saints in heaven. However, once I did much lower than was expected in primary school. and the same father that kept a cane under his bed sat with me and asked “So what happened?” He wasn’t accusing. He wasn’t angry. He was concerned. He was my friend. We talked and he said “I know you can do better and I trust you. If you’re having any trouble talk to your mother and I and we will see how we can help you do better. That was the end of the matter. Anything can be taken to extremes and abused. In some cases, the words you use when you speak to your child can be more painful than any physical damage a beating can inflict. Ironically, being too gentle and spoiling them can have the exact same effect. People are different. If you are blessed with docile or naturally well-behaved children, you may not have to do much. If you are not, adjust accordingly. There is a clear line between discipline and abuse. Abusers just can’t see that line.

  32. hi

    July 10, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    1. SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD

    to me means

    when you have to use the rod and you then spare it then . . .

    sometimes you don’t *NEED* to use it or ‘unspare’ it.

    If the kid has done nothing wrong, do you just start ‘unsparing’ or using the rod?

    the translation to me is “WHEN needed, do not SPARE”

    2. also when you beat your kid, you need to spare his/her life? not so.

    spare his/her skin(temple of God) don’t leave ugly scars, spare some other things as needed.

    by sparing these things, are you spoiling them, e.g. skin? no

    spare his/her eyes, internal organs, etc.

    3. depending on the offence, spare some self-esteem.
    spare him’/her some emotional leftover, psychological leftover, physical(food), etc.

    bottom line; anyone interested in setting up parenting schools???*insert smiley*

  33. tina

    July 10, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    i agree with Wale Gates,beating is not the answer,to me all this beating, flogging in the name of discipline are all mental slavery, you see soldiers, police beating and flogging a fellow human being. my mother had 4 girls iam the last born, she beats us all time, we all fear her.anything we do is never good or right for her as punishement she regularly pour hot pepper on us, at times inside our private parts, on one fateful day she poured hot water on my elder sisters body from her chest down to her thighs she was in the hospital for months its was God that really saved her, we had a terrible childhood.
    It was too much for us to bear,my elder sister ran away to our uncles house year later we joined her, My mother did not even care this is what she said to us (you can all go to hell ,dont even try to come back),i will never forget. when my elder sister got married to a French man she and her husband moved to France, after some years we joined her. I will continue to be grateful to my elder sister she did a good job, she did everything a good and loving mother suppose to do for her kids.,thank God all of us are doing well today. After many year that we didn’t see our mother neither did we hear from her, last year she got to know where we were through my uncle, she tried to reconcile with us but we did not accept her the pain is just too much to forget and to forgive, where was she when we needed her? maybe God will give us the grace to forgive and forget.
    To me some people are not born to become parents, so brothers and sisters there are alots of kids out there in the same situation today, did the beating,flogging,maltreatment,verbal abuse made us to be who we are today? my answer is NO, we are better people in a good position today because we choose to .

    • Ada Nnewi

      July 20, 2014 at 11:02 am

      *big hugs for you*

  34. Grace E

    July 10, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    nne pls hug me oh…African parents think the bible said spare the rod and spoil the child so it must be literal…it was figurative rod like Bible…anyway I notice that most kids who come from homes that the parents are extreme with their discipline end up wayward and it is prove from my aunties and uncle.

    I’m not against smacking oh but all this excessive ones…hmm…anyway I feel bad for that boy but then again I don’t blame him. I 1000000% agree with Wale Gates..

  35. Tola

    July 15, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    Beating beating is not everything,my father stopped beating us(myself and 3 siblings),d day he turned my 2 eyes to 1 nd half eyes.dt was d height of his beatingssssss

  36. Ife

    July 25, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Parents need to understand that beating isn’t the only way to discipline a child; many grown ups still have physical, emotional, psychological scars from the beatings they got at their tender/adolescent ages. I remember coming home on valentine’s day when i was in secondary school to innocently show my mom the gifts two of my admirers in class had given me (btw, I didn’t beg for these gifts, i didn’t do anything immoral to get the gifts). I got the beating of my life for this and my mom came to school to disgrace me and the boys that gave me the gifts.

    I never want to be that way with my kids, i want them to be able to share stuffs with me (even their deepest secrets)…

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