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Adetuke Morgan: 20 Things Nigerian Weddings Have Taught Me

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I’ve only been for 7 weddings since I moved back 12 months ago. That’s a pretty small number as there is a wedding every single weekend. 6 of these were in Lagos while one of them was in Abuja. I’m going to share/highlight on the different things I learnt at each one.

The first one (August 2013) was an engagement ceremony a few weeks after I moved back. It was pretty small, the colour was orange and brown. I didn’t have any trad in those colours so I wore my mum’s iro and buba. I didn’t wear heels because I had arrived a day or 2 before and the suitcase with all my heels was still in transit (it was being shipped).

1. You do not wear oversized clothes to a wedding. You have to highlight your selling points. In other words, you are there to sell your market so dress to impress.

2. As a lady, if you are not a family member or Aunty or close friend or cousin that is going to be running up and down on that day, you have no reason to wear flats, your heels should be on deck. I learnt this after one of the groomsmen told me ladies have to wear heels.

Ever wondered what it’s like to be a hostess at an event? I can tell you as I was an usher at the second wedding (September 2013) I attended. The bride was a choir member and the husband holy police (Redeemed Speak) at my church so she asked a few girls in the youth church to usher on her special day. I willingly obliged and was pretty happy when I received the aso ebi all the ushers were going to wear. She wanted uniformity so 6 of us turned ours into oleku.

3. When working behind the scenes at a wedding, communication is key. I was the only usher who went to church for the actual ceremony. The others met up at one of the girl’s houses where they got their make up done by one of the girls who is pretty good at these things.

4. You need to have an affordable, reliable, tailor that can interpret designs. The closer he/she is to your house the better for you. The other ushers sewed their oleku for N500 each. I used my mum’s tailor who charged N1,500.

5. Being a bouncer can get pretty boring so they spend their time talking about/analysing the guests/bridal train/ushers. At this wedding, I was stationed at the door so the bouncer there was my gisting partner. He sure kept me entertained! First, he was yapping the bridesmaids, that they are old and not the most attractive facially. Apparently, there was only one of them he could “manage”. He said his future wife most have fine friends o! He actually scored these women over 10 and was giving them pretty rubbish marks. You would think he was handsome, but he wasn’t. It shocks me how people think they can judge other’s looks.

The third wedding (November 2013) I attended was my uncle’s traditional somewhere on the mainland. It was my first time attending a traditional ceremony from start to finish and there were a lot of things I didn’t know happened. My dad is his older cousin so we sat opposite the bride’s family.

6. If your family member is getting married and you are on the groom’s side, make sure you have enough cash in your bag in small but reasonable denominations like N100 and N200. I was not aware that the bridal party will come round to the groom’s side expecting us to give money. At this point in my life, I was still getting pocket money as NYSC hadn’t started and I wasn’t earning much as an intern. We also had to give money to the musicians and the little cash I had got cleared, even the pounds (Remember, at this point I was an IJGB; I Just Got Back)

7. As the groom, make sure your groomsmen have enough cash on them. At a point in time the alaga was passing the bowl round to get donations for herself, she said it wasn’t enough and the boys should do better. They heard this many times during the course of the event and I’m sure they left there with their pockets dry.

The fourth time I attended a wedding was as a musician. The Bride was a Masters student whilst I was in undergrad, we attended the same youth fellowship and I used to play the sax at our conventions/conferences. The bride wanted me to play the sax at a point during the ceremony and I was nervous. The day before the ceremony I was just like can rapture come so I don’t have to do this. It didn’t come so I had to man up and play. I had practised with my friend who has been playing for 11 years so we were pretty tight. The whole thing went smoothly and the band which we met that day, backed us up nicely.

8. If you are performing or speaking at a ceremony, make sure you practise beforehand. Record yourself and watch it critically so you can change anything that needs work/needs to be changed.

The fifth one was a wedding of an older friend at church. Her mum suggested I get the aso ebi and so it was my first time tying gele. Remember the last church wedding I attended, I was an usher, this time round I was a guest. The bride is an event planner so everything was well organised. The colours were really beautiful too, I love yellow. There was a slight issue with the air conditioning so things got a bit hot and guests were advised to sit down and not talk too much as the movement will generate heat.

9. Make sure you have a hand fan and pocket tissues. They are very essential!

10. If you are a friend of the bride but you don’t know any of her friends, target someone that you know can dance so you don’t walk in with a boring person when you lead the way for a bride to follow.

So I flew from Lagos to Abuja for my sixth wedding. It was my friends sisters wedding and it was my second time in Abuja. Yes, that’s right I actually flew to Abuja for a wedding.

11. When attending a wedding in an unfamiliar city, there would be a lot of unfamiliar faces, not many aunties to greet or people you know. So make sure you have friends other than those in the bridal party that you can sit and gist with.

12. If you’re a natural haired sister like myself, it wouldn’t be bad to invest in a wig for that glamorous look. I’ve got a baby face so look pretty young, long flowy locks would have made me look slightly older. Plus, the convenience with wigs is you can take it off and rock your fro the next day.

13. Alternatively you could invest in beautiful eye catching accessories or be creative with your hair. It crowns your face and is very important in making or breaking your final look.

The seventh wedding I attended actually inspired this post. It was my family friend’s wedding and it was a pretty big deal. She’s a very special girl, I had to hold back tears at some point, it got pretty emotional at times.

14. When attending a society wedding where a lot of people are expected e.g. 1,000 find an alternative route as there is bound to be traffic. My Aunty was stuck in traffic on one street for an hour. It took us about 20 minutes to get there as we used the alternative route even though her house is way closer to the venue.

15. Sometimes it’s best to just get the Aso-Ebi. My parents got but didn’t remember to get for me. I didn’t remember to get for myself so just found something to wear on the day. I haven’t reached that age where it’s wedding season in my life and I have to dole out money every weekend so I have no complaints to make about the cost of aso-ebi. Certain souvenirs/party favours were only given to those wearing the aso-ebi, it was like their reward for buying it.

16. Invest in nice strappy open toed sandals. I don’t really have any because I think my legs are fat and I don’t think they will look good in them. But these shoes are versatile and more practical than close toe pointed pumps/stilettos.

17. On my table there were a number of aunties who had definitely done their make up professionally. I’ve only had this done once and that was for my mums 50th birthday. As a young lady, it is cost effective to attend a make up and gele tying class so you can perfect those skills. You are bound to go for many parties and weddings in your life time so just learn how to present yourself nicely instead of forking out 5-10k anytime you have an event to go to.

18. If you attend a wedding as a single/with your parents, people will undoubtedly make statements concerning your to-be nuptials. E.g. “Your time is coming”, “I can’t wait to dance at your own, better shine your eyes.” Just smile and keep quiet or nod your head. In my head I’m thinking, I don’t even know what I want to do with my life, I’m still a corper, haven’t done my masters so I don’t know where all these people are rushing to.

I’m adding two for Jara so there’ll be a nice, even, rounded number of lessons.

19. Make sure you eat before you go for a wedding, anything can happen, food can finish or you can get stuck in traffic, you just never know and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

20. Take a picture of yourself before you leave your house so you know what you look like and so you can change anything you don’t like about your appearance.

I’ve only been for a few weddings and I am not an #AsoEbiBella.

This list is by no means exhaustive and I am sure there are many things you’ve learned from attending weddings so please share them in the comment box below so we can all be wiser.

Thanks 🙂

Photo Credit: © Flashon | Dreamstime.com

Adetuke Morgan is a lifestyle blogger who is passionate about playing the Saxophone, writing, modeling and acting. She loves to travel, rocks her Natural hair with pride and is a sucker for great food. Read about her adventures in Lagos at Tuke's Quest and follow her on Twitter & Instagram @TukeMorgan

86 Comments

  1. TheMaestress

    August 22, 2014 at 6:03 am

    Not to be mean to the writer, but this write-up strikes me as shallow and juvenile.
    And just a thought, if you buy each and every aso-ebi for every single wedding you attend, your bank account will most probably remain dismal.

    • Fountain of Paper

      August 22, 2014 at 6:31 am

      Yup! Comes across as someone too young to understand how one balances income, expenditure & investment.

      My brain froze at the point where she says you’re at the wedding to sell your market!

      We’re talking about empowering and educating women, this one is saying wear glove sized clothes to sell market. What market is she selling?

      SMH

    • I get u both & kinda agree wt u, I’m just not sure “shallow” is d best word 4 an article she worked on wt good intentions.

    • bb

      August 22, 2014 at 7:54 am

      must you complain about every piece? The young lady was just describing her personal picture of weddings in Naija and if you will be true to yourself, her points are totally valid. Just take a cue from anyone that matters and leave the rest if you thing you know it all.

    • alviscali

      August 22, 2014 at 8:57 am

      of course your brain froze because you fail to accept reality……….the truth of the matter is a lot of Nigerian(African) single women attend wedding only to “sell their market”…and there should be no shame in that………..yes empower women,but face the reality on the ground……..

    • Coko

      August 22, 2014 at 11:18 am

      SHUT UP

    • anindividaul

      August 22, 2014 at 12:31 pm

      But can you do better?

    • Tunde

      August 22, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      @adelegirl abi oo. The article makes sense and I’m sure many IJGB would love it. Weddings can be so tedious at times and all the things she said wouldn’t be too far from our own experiences as young people.

    • mdje

      August 23, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      some of you just don’t get the underlying sarcasm/ humor in the article.

    • Mbang

      August 22, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Well, the writer is only 22. This article is a good attempt for a start; she’ll improve in time.

      @ the writer, well done. You made some important points here.

    • Tunde

      August 22, 2014 at 10:25 am

      @TheMaestress and Fountain of Paper While I understand where you both are coming from I think your comments were a tad harsh. This girl has written a very wonderful article and the two of you only chose to highlight a very small negative. Besides, I think I subscribe to the idea of dressing to impress as a wedding guest while of course maintaining proper wedding guest etiquette. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and hoping to meet a nice lady or man at a wedding. Maybe her choice of words were not the best but I was able to deduce her good intentions.

    • adelegirl

      August 22, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      Thank you Tunde for this comment. As I read I knew the writer must be young and a bit naive and/or sheltered. And as I realised that she is an IJGB her writing made sense. I found the article interesting though and she is very honest about a lot of the points she noted regarding Nigerian weddings. The make up, appropriate hair, food, traffic, the not-so-goodlooking bouncer making fun of the bridesmaids, these are all par for the course at Nigerian weddings. I especially liked her tip of investing in enrolling in make up and gele tying class so one is spared the expense of going to make up artistes as is now the norm for every Nigerian event. Oh! I miss the days when you could get away with doing your make up yourself or very minimal make-up and wear whatever jewelry you could lay your hands on. Usually I would borrow from my mum or sisters or just wear my simple every day gold necklace but these days apart from the aso-ebi and the cost of getting a top-rate Nigerian “designer” to sew it into a fabulous instagram-selfie-worthy outfit, you also have to factor in jewelry- custom-made beads. The mean streets of Nigerian events 🙂

    • Ghats

      August 22, 2014 at 12:24 pm

      Too right. Shallow and silly. Some of the “points” had me looking for the point.

      Also, natural hair can be glamorous oh, Aunty Adetuke Morgan! You don’t NEED a wig for that purpose.

    • ceecee

      August 22, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      shallow and silly???? gosh what age are we in? where people cannot commend people for work done and use such words to describe people’s efforts. you should be ashamed of yourself!

    • mdje

      August 23, 2014 at 6:01 pm

      maybe read the title first .. “20 things nigerian weddings have TAUGHT ME” – meaning everything in the article is subjective to the writer’s personal experiences/ POINT OF VIEW. If you think you’ve learnt better or different things from nigerian weddings, please share. maybe they won’t be as ”shallow or juvenile” as your comment.

  2. ATL's finest

    August 22, 2014 at 6:05 am

    Very nice!!! Lol @ #18.. Sometimes I so wanna cuss the sh!t out of those folks but I can’t ..,I’m my heading I’m thinking, I’m thinking he’s to put the ring on it not me, Med school was enough stress, can I get a life?? Or better still let US breath before you come dance at outer wedding lol.

    • ATL's finest

      August 22, 2014 at 6:06 am

      *our*

  3. David U.

    August 22, 2014 at 6:36 am

    Nicely written Adetuke!

  4. Agidi_jollof

    August 22, 2014 at 6:55 am

    I don’t know about others but the lesson about eating beforehand is valid. If it’s an igbo wedding, best believe by 4pm you’re still waiting for food while they “bless the kolanut that doesn’t understand English” *rolling my eyes.
    In the alternative, have money so you can easily stroll to the mallam with the bicycle and buy viju milk or lacasera. Lol

    • BlueEyed

      August 22, 2014 at 7:51 am

      Lmao! I agree with the viju milk stint….and yes eat well before you leave your house oo

    • Tumzzy

      August 22, 2014 at 10:15 am

      Agidi_jollof will not come and kill somebori. …………………”Kolanut that doesn’t understand English”. Chai! Lmao. Omo……………. Lacasera to the rescue man.

    • Fashionista

      August 22, 2014 at 11:48 am

      My sister, I wholeheartedly agree with you. Me, I like food, so after one or two occasions where I’ve found myself stretching my neck at weddings like a hungry tolotolo, wondering when they will start serving food or at least small chops, I have resulted to NEVER go to a wedding hungry again! On has to respect themselves oh.

  5. Black beauty

    August 22, 2014 at 7:25 am

    Great piece, well done!

  6. Nikky

    August 22, 2014 at 7:48 am

    The maestress and Fountain of paper, ‘all missed the point of her write up.
    The maestress, people actually buy asoebi for each wedding they attend for which they are asoebi. Some crave and beg to be asoebi and have no problem doing that. That you cant afford to do that dont mean others who want to cant. Like I said, you totally missed the point of her write up. You never heard of people who would beg you to put them in your aso ebi or look for connections to get into aso ebi?
    Fountain of paper, you must not live in naija or you must not be in tune with what goes on in naija. If you havent heard of “selling point” or what goes on at wedding, then please dont criticize someone else. This is her experience and to be frank, she has some good points.

    I have heard similar stories from friends and relatives in naija, so I can understand where she is coming from.

    If you dont understand something, dont throw shade. Ignorance is not bliss.

    @Adetuke……Nice job. i’m off to check your blog. Please, some of us need write ups like this; seeing naija and what goes on there from IJGB point of view.

    • Deyrhounkey

      August 22, 2014 at 10:43 am

      Hmmmm, I buy aso ebi for every event as long as Iove the fabric (most times, I do). for me, it saves me the stress of having to go to the market to buy trad. Besides, grew up in a family where there are all sorts of events every year, in muliples and there is ALWAYS asoebi…I mean, started tying gele since I was barely a teenager ( every one in d fam old n young ties gele!)…so some of these things are regular for me…but selling my market? …errr no! Regardless, I have personal love for these things.

      It all depends on what applies to every individual and so many factors (background, finances, etc) determine that.

    • Coko

      August 22, 2014 at 11:20 am

      @Nikky. You speak too much sense

  7. Fre

    August 22, 2014 at 8:01 am

    Pls don’t think you’re young o. Time flies. Learning the hard way.
    Lovely write up

  8. Sugar

    August 22, 2014 at 8:07 am

    Well thought out.

  9. Iris

    August 22, 2014 at 8:16 am

    I’m trying to figure out if this article is perfectly serious and well-intentioned or if it supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. That was exactly the same way I felt about the Ms Kemi article from a few days ago. I have chosen to believe that story -fictional or real – was not meant to be taken seriously.

  10. Foo fighters

    August 22, 2014 at 8:26 am

    The article was good although a little here and there. Please try to articulate your thoughts better so that there is a flow in reading.

  11. Chinma Eke

    August 22, 2014 at 8:27 am

    17-20 are spot on. I think this article is fantastic, I think we need to take chill pills with our comments also; most of her advices are unwritten rules that we all are aware of, and besides; if an article advices that you buy asoebi for events, does it translate to ‘you must buy asoebi’? Pick and choose what you agree with; (I personally agree with a lot in this article) and ignore the rest.
    (Besides, I’m getting tired of all this feminist issues, that’s how one lady said she’s a feminist, equal to men and expected that a man pull out her chair for her, get up for her to sit first, etc. I’m like; isn’t that contradictory?)

  12. SASSYCASSIE

    August 22, 2014 at 8:47 am

    so natural hair isnt ‘glamourous’ enough for weddings?

    • Linguini

      August 22, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      Taken out of context. She said that’s because of her face.

    • yours truly

      September 5, 2014 at 11:03 pm

      So it seems at naija weddings o! In my case, I went to naija in 2012 and attended an old classmates wedding, I don’t sew weaves on my hair neither do I wear wigs (simply because am blessed with a 16″ length of hair) So , having just retouched my hair, I decided to have my hair up in a pony tail (Kimye style). I could see the disdain in the eyes of our other classmates, as if to say “Was there no Salon around”? I also keep my natural finger nails, which may have upset some of them as one of them walked up to me to say how much an acrylic would suit me. As if that wasn’t enough, I was told that I couldn’t join the ‘aso Ebi’ girls to usher the bride in since I wasn’t putting one on and “the wedding would be featured on channels TV”. How pathetic!

  13. Open Sesame!

    August 22, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Keep writing hon, you get better with practice.

    I’m not sure this should have been published on here though. It’s a lil all over the place.

  14. sum1special

    August 22, 2014 at 9:10 am

    I dont relate with this write up—-too basic and regular and too much unnecessary points. doesn’t in any way sound experienced. guess she can do better next time.

    • anindividaul

      August 22, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Why don’t you write something then? You’re talking like you can do better. If you can’t please don’t write negative comments

  15. chick

    August 22, 2014 at 9:41 am

    I always eat before going for weddings so I dnt starve to death wen the ushers or whoever serving decides to look at faces before handing out food.plus I hate to que for food at weddings.its either am d first in line(which is hardly possible) for d food or I dnt get up at all cos after standing for a long tym u discover dat d food is almost finished wen it gets to ur turn n then d servers begin to give out tiny portions.

  16. Not soo Asoebi bella

    August 22, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Biko cut the writer some slack. The Asoebi and selling market was more sarcastic than instructive. U took your time to read d entire piece and u call it shallow, darling that comment says something about ur brain not the writer. She’s a newbie in the wedding scene soo, duhhh! Lovely piece if u ask me I enjoyed reading it

  17. oniu

    August 22, 2014 at 9:58 am

    She makes some of valid points in the article, although it was all over the place. I think is she puts more structure to her writing, she would make a fantanstic writer

  18. Carla

    August 22, 2014 at 10:00 am

    @TheMaestress & Fountain of Paper, try to be nice when commenting on people’s write ups. na people like una dey make people commit suicide, thank God Nigerians are stronger than this.
    Adetuke nice write up,i relate to #18 too.

  19. ify

    August 22, 2014 at 10:49 am

    interesting to read. keep it up.

  20. Vocalcords

    August 22, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Can’t people have honest opinions anymore? I’m not sure either of them was tying to put her down. The article does need some structure, I agree that it was all over the place. She’s still young and will get better with time.

  21. Grace

    August 22, 2014 at 11:07 am

    I dont agree with NO 2….I dont do heels at all no matter the condition or situation. I admire ladies who wear them and walk so effortlessly/gracefully on them(not those who just do it because they wanna be like the girl next door)but i cant do it. I love my very very very flat slippers and shoes anytime any day. It makes me so very very very very very happy and comfortable. 🙂

  22. TANTRA

    August 22, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Dear writer, next time, please do not include your age. Some persons will deviate from the topic and focus on your age.

  23. aaaeventsanddesign.blogspot.com

    August 22, 2014 at 11:20 am

    welldone adetuke. keep it up.
    aaaeventsanddesign.blogspot.com

  24. Zainab Adetutu

    August 22, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Thank you Adetuke.

  25. mrs chidukane

    August 22, 2014 at 11:32 am

    I understand where she’s coming from. I actually feel some of it is tongue in cheek like the high heels,she said that’s what a groomsman told her,i’m also sure she didn’t see anyone rocking flats either except those working and the selling your market. She wore her mums iro and buba which I venture to say may be a bit oversize just to get there and see the ‘is it your wedding’ people. Which I believe is why she said you’re there to sell your market because of their provocative dressing. All in all I can relate with the article even the one of natural hair which she said can be covered with a wig or if not has to be well styled. Any naturalista knows how natural hair especially 4a,4b hair in an afro can look after a few hours please let’s be honest cos that’s my hair as well.

    • adelegirl

      August 22, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      Lol @ “is it your wedding people” They really make going to weddings these days tiresome and you have to be a secure confident lady not to be intimidated by the flashiness of those people. Re natural hair, I am kinky 4z (yes I said z) and I rarely ever leave my hair out, I am almost always in one protective style or the other or my hair is tucked in under wigs. I Even when I had relaxed hair I rarely ever left the hair out. Can’t deal with the hassle of always trying to style/tame my hair when I can just pack my braids or leave it down or whatever I want. With my own hair, I have to be extra careful so I am not looking like a stray in my professional environment. Also, with natural hair, I feel like you have to be well made up to sort of “compensate” for the “wild hair”.

  26. Changing Faces

    August 22, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Everyone will not like the article. Many preach tolerance but are very critical and intolerant of people that do not share their views.

    I don’t really understand the article, it was a bit all over the place. Also the numbering didn’t help as it made her jump from one wedding to the other. It would have been better if she just listed all her lessons without trying to gist us about all the weddings. Kudos for picking up your pen, it’s not easy articulating thoughts into an article. More grease

  27. Enigma

    August 22, 2014 at 11:43 am

    Well done Tuke,

    Please ignore the negative comments. You may have some work to do, but that’s fine. Nobody is perfect and you can only try to become better with each article.
    Very interesting points highlighted which have been well written.

    Well done Hun,
    Xx

  28. iba

    August 22, 2014 at 11:43 am

    It was a fair article. I had to do a lot of sifting through. I believe you will get better with time – no doubt. You seemed to muddle a lot of your thoughts around but i got the gist eventually. I looked at your blog too, its not bad.

    Finally let me drop another hint, perhaps you should scrap your age dropping. In Nigeria, people tend to attach a lot to age and they rate you left, right and center by merely knowing how old you are.

  29. www.thelmathinks.blogspot.com

    August 22, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    I had to do some sifting through as well. Adetuke don’t take negative comments to heart, just learn from some of the pointers and criticism and apply them to your subsequent articles, that’s how you get better.

  30. babygiwa

    August 22, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    As a young lady myself, I can relate with you. But my dear Tuke, I dare not buy all the asoebis oo, my allowance n salary won’t smile! I totally dig what you said about eating b4 attending weddings as well as learning a few make-up tricks. It does go a long way. Big ups to @mrs Chidukane for her understanding comment. Well done hun!

    • mrs chidukane

      August 22, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      Thanks luv

  31. Tom

    August 22, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    Hey tuke nice article tho. Try to enable anonymous comments on ur blog.

  32. Tosin

    August 22, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    I didn’t read it, just browsed, but maybe the author had humour in mind and you know, just her style. And importantly, she’s a younging! Rock on, younging. I’m off to visit her blog even though I didn’t bother to really read her first article here, so go figure.

    On buying aso ebi tho: you just get the colour. like if they say fuchsia or something stupid, grab your pink trad. if they say aquamarine or teal , grab your google/dictionary and pick a green/blue. That said, I generally don’t do weddings and generally don’t know what the hell to do when I get there 🙂

  33. dunni

    August 22, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    on the issue of eating before attending a wedding is so true,went for one wedding and omo if u were not smart you wouldnt eat, i just got up straight and said 2 heavily pregnant women needed food urgently and voila the plates were in my hand……

  34. Linguini

    August 22, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    Nice write up ‘Detuke. Some people here missed the point of the article completely even after the disclaimer at the end.
    I think y’all should chill.

  35. TA

    August 22, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    What I have learned from attending weddings in Naija is that if you want small chops,(for me they are more important than the jollof rice sef) buy the aso-ebi and seat near the bride or groom’s mother’s friends. Yes now,don’t you know those Lagos society women dressed in loud gold jewellery from head to toe?! Ehen,those same ones.

    • yinka

      August 22, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Wow…its that serious? Why invite so many people to your wedding if you can’t feed them…….so its survival of the smartest at weddings…oshi o da.

    • TANTRA

      August 22, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      Survival of the smartest. lol. very funny.

  36. bluenile512

    August 22, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    With that being said, I guess I should never plan on attending a wedding in Nigeria. Takes the fun out of going to the wedding. I thought weddings are the kind of events you go to and have fun and dance the night away. Maybe I am looking at things differently because I live in the States and I go to weddings maybe 3 times a year and I know in Nigeria, you may have 3 weddings in one day. I get it. But attending a wedding should not be so serious. The couple have spent a lot of money to make sure the guests have a good time and you can not even dance because you are wearing your cutest heels, which also happen to be your most uncomfortable heels and you are afraid to sweat out your hair because you just spent so much money to buy it and curl it up. The whole business of weddings in Nigeria is becoming a bit too much. It needs to go back to focusing on the couple and celebrating their day with them and not “selling your market.” Let’s be really. Women go to weddings to meet their future husbands. Men go to weddings, single or not, to get some ass. Now that is real

    • anonymous

      August 24, 2014 at 2:44 pm

      Love dis…..so true…nigeria weeding are so overrated……High heels nd so on……

  37. Amaka

    August 22, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    This I have to say regards food … Most times host pay for d main food e.g Nigerian n Chinese food n drinks for d exact number of guest they r expecting , Smallchops n fish/chips , desserts etc trust me most times d host don’t pay for d exact number of guest so tell me how ll it go around for everybody , think abt it will they pay for fish n chips 2k for a plate for 500 or 1000 guest after paying venue for 2m , decor 1m , planner 500 etc …. N another one pple all u that “fight ” to eat at parties ….. Hmmmmmmm u don’t want to know what d ushers n waiters do to get ur food or how they get ur food …

    • MC

      August 22, 2014 at 4:09 pm

      wait! Nigerians provide fish and chips at their weddings?

  38. FA

    August 22, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    Oh my goodness! You guys are something else! Detuke’s article is meant to be a fun and playful look at Nigerian weddings. I don’t understand why some of you are letting your insecurities get the best of you and slandering this article. In the words of Frank Dunga the great, why you gotta “tie the world to ya chest” tho!? Getting emotional over this clearly fun and playful article!? Not everyday uptight and bitter, sometimes LOL? No?

  39. bellemoizelle

    August 22, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    This post is very interesting and 90% of what she said is so true ,and yes lots of girls go to weddings with the hope of meeting their life partner and yes it sometimes happen but not all the time ms Morgan its a beautiful piece! awon o ni so ku so,some one cant write an essay of 50 lines and you are here saying trash SMH awon olodo ! La vie est belle…..

  40. mylittlecuteface

    August 22, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    lol, enjoyed it and from my memory, so true!! especially the heels. All so over dressed, so either end up like the poor cousin or you join them sadly.

  41. Ayodele Oladeji

    August 22, 2014 at 3:49 pm

    I guess some of you turn up online expecting to see a Shakespearean type article or one befitting of the class of Soyinka (okay maybe i exaggerated there). I have been to about 3 weddings this year and I can’t even remember the outfit I wore and so taking us through a journey of 7 weddings through her eyes, She’s clearly stated that she’s an IJGB and I agree that some of the views are clearly going to change with time. I think we ought to cut her some slack. Perfection starts from Baby steps abeg…. em Aunty Detuke at 22 you’re sOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT YOUNG oh, wake-up and smell the coffee

  42. teekay

    August 22, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    Lovely write up……. Exactly the way I felt when I moved back to Naija

  43. me too...

    August 22, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    I thoroughly enjoyed the article. nice one Adetuke, keep it up. some people can be so mean sha… must you comment? if it doesn’t gel with you, just waka pass. and its not even like they can do better. whatever happened to constructive criticism!

  44. Beauty Geek

    August 22, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Very interesting piece. Nice one Tuke

  45. Meh

    August 22, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    I have a lot of respect for wedding attendees. God knows I can’t cope with the noise and the drama involved. I will do a parlour introduction and God willing something very small somewhere affordable but far. Let the aunties in fake gold try and catch me…

  46. dapo

    August 22, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    Nice one Tuke. Some of us got the gist and the morals.we knew it wasn’t the age or shoyinkaism that is the issue.nice one

  47. Korede

    August 23, 2014 at 2:03 am

    Well done Detuke, please ignore the negative comments, I love this piece!
    I think I’d say exactly the same thing as you tbh as I’d be a IJGB too!
    People should relax and not take this too seriously! It’s just a bit of fun and supposed to make you giggle here and there… Just because someone advises to wear a wig instead of rocking natural is not a crime; advice is based on personal experience, take it or leave it
    I don’t understand why Nigerian women are being so melodramatic and condescending towards a 22 year old writer…! *sigh*

  48. Korede

    August 23, 2014 at 2:04 am

    **some Nigerian women

  49. $exyD

    August 23, 2014 at 2:38 am

    Most peeps are sadist hence their negative comments. This is a playful article cos it got me laughing. Adetuke well done jare. I learnt an important lesson from someone. Its either I get the wedding colour or I buy the gele.. no more buying of aso ebi except when very important.

  50. Linda

    August 23, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    I loooovvveeed this!! Too funny and soo true!! I dnt understand why some people are being absolutely rude. Well done @adetuke!! This was a great read. Some points I found myself nodding my head. I’ve never heard of ‘IJGB’ before oooo. Hehehehe!! Well done!!

  51. JustMe

    August 23, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    This was a really REALLY good read. Adetuke, I absolutely connect with and love your sense of humour. Plus you seem like someone who sees the world with very observant eyes.
    I must say I was shocked when I got to the comment section. I was expecting a flood of similar stories and laughs and ‘nice one Adetuke[s]’… But then again we’re still human I.
    Again I say Really good read Adetuke. I loved it, and I’ll be sure to check out your blog.

  52. chi-e-z

    August 26, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    All I got was that you play the sax…maybe all I payed attention to personally thought the write up was good but the sax caught my eyes. Do you give lessons?

  53. Deedee

    August 28, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Well done Adetuke, a nice and playful write-up. People,its her personal experience not yours, so abeg calm your titties down. No need to criticize her write-up cos she’s 22, thats not young at all, but sha this is Naija, the “land of gerontocracy”, everything boils down to your age. I think we should lose that silly attitude please. The world has moved on, age is a just a freaking number…

  54. BimpeO

    August 28, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    Reading this article and then reading the comments by the first two people and some others i was absolutely disgusted, there is a difference between critiquing or giving an honest opinion and just being a douche bag and a bully ( by the way the bullies and douche bags always turn out to be the ones who are shallow minded and juvenile) . Practise makes perfect, i’m sure Chimamanda didn’t come out of her mothers womb writing award winning stories.
    I have gone through ”aunty Detuke Morgans” blog and she rocks her natural hair perfectly and praises the idea of nurturing, growing and maintaining it. She’s obviously just starting out and she’s making a good effort instead of pointing out the negatives, POLITELY point out the things she can improve on, since you are such a great article critique.

    Really funny article Detuke, keep on writing you’ll be brilliant at it with time!!!

    • libra girl

      September 5, 2014 at 4:48 am

      my exact sentiments i thought the article was funny and explaining her shock as to what goes on in nigerian weddings!critiquing should be constructive and well said without bashing the talent….this is one of the major problems we as nigerians have

  55. Lulu

    September 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Brilliant post……….learnt few things to step up my game when I go for weddings

  56. tontojewelry

    February 25, 2015 at 1:29 am

    Nice one Detuke. I ❤❤❤ this post.

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