Adaora Egwuonwu: 6 Tips To Help Break the Habit of Comparison

One endless cycle I’ve observed that is very common amongst us humans, is the act of wanting to be like the other person, and as a result of this, we are never satisfied. I believe this subject matter needs to be stressed, especially for those who still haven’t gotten accustomed to the fact that in life, you cannot measure the true worth of a man by the number of possessions he has. Be aware that someone out there will always be smarter, richer and more influential than you are. Someone’s house will certainly be bigger and better than yours. Someone will drive ‘posher’ cars, earn more money and will travel more than you ever will. Get used to it and love yourself.

You need to know that no matter how many houses you buy, clothes you wear, or fancy cars you drive, you still won’t have enough. Instead, learn to realize that what you have is already enough. If you have roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and people who truly love you, you are BLESSED. You have ENOUGH! Anything aside these, (and let’s admit everyone reading this article has more than that) is more than enough. Be good with that, and you will find CONTENTMENT.

Do you know why your grass is still not green and your lawn hasn’t been properly mowed? It’s because you are busy looking into other people’s lawns to see if theirs is better than yours. Rather than investing time to improve yourself and making your grass greener, you are busy comparing yourself to others. It’s funny how we never ask how these people go about doing what they do underneath to appear sophisticated on the outside. Their grass might look greener, but have you inquired to know what method they’ve adopted to make it so?

It’s in this period of comparison, that we allow weeds (unwanted plants) grow in our lawns. We also allow cows invade, and not only do they deposit their dung, they also eat up the remaining grass we have left. As a result of the corrosive, unbearable odor of dung deposited, flies and insects (uninvited guests) begin to invade and feast on our lawns. Where have we been all this while?

The art of social comparison makes us lose track of our focus. We do tend to start out well but get sidetracked as we move on. This could be as a result of comparing someone’s strength to our weakness, and even if we compare strength to strength, there will always be those who are better off. This ultimately, leads to an aimless journey, as we unconsciously believe that life itself is all about who supersedes the other… a.k.a “I pass my neighbor”

The moment you begin to compare yourself to others, the more you let the enemy dominate your life. You give him the opportunity to rent a space in your life and as soon as you let him in, he has the upper hand. He becomes the chief controller and you know his ultimate goal? To kill, steal and destroy. He absolutely has no genuine interest in you. So how then can you be happy? How can people around you be happy? When nothing around you reflects joy. You’ve so consumed yourself in the spirit of strife that you begin to develop unnecessary bitterness, hatred, anger and wallow in self-pity.

Be too busy working on your own grass to notice if others are greener. Come to think of it, comparison is a thief of time and highly energy sapping. You will get old before your time and develop wrinkles, all in the process of competing for what amounts to nothing. Make your time so precious that you wouldn’t be caught doing something that doesn’t benefit you. Every second counts and time is no respecter of persons. It waits for no one. Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of generating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have crossed and the good stuff you have done.

How To Break The Habit of Comparison

Awareness
Most times we get caught up making these comparisons without realizing we actually are. It’s a natural and unconscious act. That’s why we are human. The solution is to become conscious by bringing these thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness and be able to subdue them when they arise.

Prevent Yourself
Once you realize you are making these comparisons, take a long pause. There’s no need to berate yourself or feel bad about it, just acknowledge the thought and gradually change focus.

Embrace Your Imperfections
We all want to reach the zenith of our careers and attain perfection, but know you are not perfect and you will never be. I certainly am not. Perfection has been a disease of the nation, people still strive for it but it’s unattainable. Learn to embrace your flaws and always endeavor to improve on them the best possible way.

Focus On Your Strengths
Rather than struggling on your weaknesses, focus more on your strengths. Celebrate them. Be proud of them. This helps you center more on your journey as it paves way for diverse opportunities. Life is a journey, not a competition. We are all on a journey to find something, to learn something, to create something and to become something. There’s a purpose to our existence.

Count Your Blessings
This is my favorite part of it all. Always reminisce on what you’ve been blessed with. Think about how lucky you are to have what you have, to have the people in your life who care about you, to know you are alive and well. Cultivating this lifestyle, makes you draw strength and happiness rather than being sober about things that haven’t yet come your way.

Be Content
Godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. Being content is a grace that grows overtime. It doesn’t come easily or naturally. There were times when i had plenty but God brought me to situations where i was in need and through that, i discovered the secret of being content. Contentment is a pain killer, a joy booster and brings peace of mind.

Before I draw the curtains, I want you to note this very crucial factor. “Begin to speak good things about yourself”. Always confess positively and ensure what you say is in line with the Word of God. God loves variety that’s why he created us differently, even down to our fingerprints. You are not just different but uniquely different. Know you will never succeed at being yourself if you are trying to be like someone else.

“Other people can be good examples to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your individual personality” – Joyce Meyer.

Finally, invest your time wisely to ensure your grass always remains green.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Jami Garrison