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Peculiar Okafor: 12 Questions You’ve Always Wanted To Ask



‘You got a secret but I think I know it
You want to let it out but them go call you *****……”

These are lines from Dbanj’s club banger ‘Oliver twist’ and like the person(s) Dbanj is referring to, there are a lot of things I wish I could say but they wouldn’t be socially or politically correct so I’ll just say some of them here. Most of them are actually questions that come up but I do not ask so as not to be branded negatively. Some of you might have had these thoughts (great minds think alike afterall):

1. Why can’t we all admit that we do not know everything and that whatever opinions we give on issues, are just opinions? I think it would save us the energy we expend fighting – all that time spent defending our point of view (most of which are either based on research findings that might change 6 months down the line or on our personal experiences which might not be applicable to everyone). We need to understand that there is ‘Your truth’ and ‘My truth’ and none of these ‘truths’ are absolute. I think John Legend was right in singing ‘Nobody Really Knows’.

2. Why exactly are abortions not legal? I get that certain faiths consider it a sin but pre-marital sex which is one of the primary reasons for an abortion is also a sin. Last time I checked that isn’t illegal, and no one should force their religious beliefs on others. On the other hand,if men could get pregnant, would abortions not be legal?. I know I sound like a feminist and that’s why I’ve never asked this question publicly but seriously wouldn’t we reduce the number of complications and deaths from abortions as well as abandoned babies if abortions were legal?

3. Deep down in our subconscious, do we believe women are slightly inferior to the men? If we say we don’t think so, why do people make statements like ‘Why will he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free’. Is the herdsman or cow buyer not superior to the cow?

4. Do we really like to hear the truth or only what makes us feel good? You could call it selective honesty, diplomacy, boa bla; but the truth is that we might not want to hear the whole truth all the time – that’s probably why generations before us had praise singers to extol the good sides of the successful ones regardless of their faults.

5. If all men cheat on their wives, what’s wrong with being a ‘Runz girl’ or at least dating a married man? I mean it’s the cycle of life, you do ‘runz’ when you’re single and your husband hangs out with ‘runz girls’ when you get married. And please don’t tell me about karma. If all men cheat because they are polygamous by nature, then regardless of what you do as a woman, your husband’s going to cheat right? While we’re talking about this, has there been any scientific research to show that men are genetically modified to cheat? Note that the key word is ‘genetically modified’.

6. Do we really want Nigeria to become extremely lawful? Because sometimes, I feel Nigerians might just want to be rich, comfortable and developed while still being allowed to cut corners. If you don’t believe me, watch the next queue or listen at hangouts and hear people refer to officials who uphold the law as ‘Rigid and uptight’.

7. Do parents want their children to be extremely good and honest or to just live their lives, become successful and not have any bad reputation attached to their name? As in, your son can be a ‘yahoo‘ guy in the University to augment what you give him so long as the neighbors see him as a good boy, he graduates with excellent grades and gets a good job or thriving business and nice family in future. As per the female children, they can date, even commit an abortion so long as they keep a good girl image. No one finds out about the abortion and they get married with lovely children. Afterall, ‘na who dem catch be thief’

8. Do parents think their children believe them when they make statements like ‘I was always the 1st in my class’, ‘I got married as a virgin’, etc? If y’all came first and got married as virgins, who were the ‘Olodos’ and ‘bad girls’ in our time you always tell us about.

9. Is it passion for the arts or the money that is responsible for the proliferation of entertainers and celebrities? We all know the rate of unemployment is so high and the kind of money these entertainers make can make one develop passion. I have no challenge with entertainers but I’m afraid the entertainers will soon exceed the fans and making money from entertainment might soon depend on how large your family is (if every family has at least 1 musician, I go first buy my relative CD before I buy your own. so those with 40 siblings and 500 cousins will have higher chances).

10. What’s up with everyone being a makeup artist, fashion designer and stylist these days? I mean, I like the spirit of entrepreneurship and all but there’s more to a title than talent. The fact that you are very good with dressing yourself up doesn’t qualify you as a stylist (or should it), get extra training if need be, so you can charge a premium.

11. Why are men beginning to wear female dresses? I saw some pictures of some fashion shows lately and I was like….. Creativity is not by force ohhhh. No one has ever gotten arrested for wearing Tops and Jeans. Could it be that men have always secretly wanted to dress up like women? I dunno and I hope you guys can provide answers.

12. Can someone explain to me how the female eyebrow should look? I am getting confused. There’s the ‘Inverted Nike’, ‘The straight eyebrow’ and then some that I can’t even begin to place. Make up artistes in the house, please help us out.

Okay people, here are questions I have been so afraid to ask in public and I feel lots of people have thought about too without asking. Maybe because we are a very appearance based society ( a polite way of saying we’re a bit hypocritical) or because we just don’t want to rock the boat.

If you have answers to any of these questions, please educate the rest of us. You can also share other questions you’ve always wanted to ask.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Zdenka Darula

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. Personal Assistant

    November 19, 2014 at 10:06 am

    I concur with 9, 10,11,12
    Just my few questions to ask.
    Why does BN like to overflog certain topics?
    Why do our local artists especially the ones who look like tadpoles show their bodies on social media?
    Why is almost everyone a relationship expert this days?
    Why do people love the front seat of the car, the middle of the road and the back seats in the Church?
    Why do people like me comment on BN sef when dem no dey even win award for the matter?


    November 19, 2014 at 11:38 am

    “I know I sound like a feminist and that’s why I’ve never asked this question publicly…”??? I may be wrong but why does this read like you think it’s a bad thing to be or to sound like a feminist? When did feminism become something to be ashamed of…


    November 19, 2014 at 11:45 am

    #8; my friend’s mum preached and preached and preached against premarital sex, how her daughters (yes, it’s always only daughters that should save their virginity for marriage *yimu*) must not have sex till they get married, how she got married as a virgin. Then one day her wedding picture was found and on close scrutiny one could notice a baby bump. “Ahn ahn mummy I thought you married daddy as a virgin. How come you were pregnant on your wedding day?”. Mummy hasn’t talked about premarital since then.

    • slice

      November 19, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      to support “mummy,” the probably got pregnant after the trad wedding. very common with that generation

  4. efe

    November 19, 2014 at 11:52 am

    Yeah, 12 questions and MORE to ask. Really insightful write up

  5. Peculiar Okafor

    November 19, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Darling, I do know that feminist literally means ‘Someone who believes in the equality of the sexes’ and lots of males and females including moi are proud to define ourselves as such.

    But there is a contextual understanding of the word that has come to be understood as ‘Bitter, man hating, angry and depressed’ and that is the context in which this was written. Please appreciate that I wrote ‘understanding, i.e what the word has come to mean to a lot of people.’

    Normally, I rarely comment on my write-ups but I noticed you raised this up on my previous article and I commend your drive and passion for our gender.

    I’m all about women empowerment and do believe that God made us male and female and blessed us equally so we’re on the same side of the boat.

    PS: I do believe though that one of the ways to fully empower ourselves as women is to succeed without becoming bitter. Success and respect are earned not given. The world stands still for the (wo)man who knows where she’s going to.

    Heck I’m gonna write and article on this.

  6. Peculiar Okafor

    November 19, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    an article ……

  7. Moyo

    November 19, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    My questions are
    1. why do we (women) have to get married and bear all the shit that husbands and in laws dish out.
    2. why cant I walk up to a good looking guy(hot I believe its called now) and ask him to have a drink with me, no strings attached

    • MC

      November 19, 2014 at 2:42 pm

      1. You don’t.
      2. You can

    • slice

      November 19, 2014 at 2:54 pm

      you sure can. you just have to be willing to take the possible rejection he has to be willing to take when he walks up to you 🙂

  8. D

    November 19, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    For #3, I use that quote for both men and women, why should a lady expect the dude to pay her bills without any commitment that is milking the cow for free or as some Nigerians say “Maga don pay” ( Not sure of this quote). So not sure about #3. For #6. I have actually asked that question of my fellow country men and women and it is why I have come to the same conclusion you have on that topic (I will leave it at that). Lol @ #8, #9, #10 & #12. I hope you get answers to your questions.

  9. TT

    November 19, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    nice write up


    November 19, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    1) Why do people lay bare their lives on Instagram and the likes and then turn around and complain about people being all up in their business? If you don’t want folks all up in your private life, then don’t put your private life all up in people faces.

    2) Why do the Nigerian men I see on BN red carpets and on TV wear really tight clothes. That ish is not cute. Naija men for the most part are not skinny. You have butts and guts so pls lay off the tight clothes. Even fine Ebuka almost always looks like a stuffed penguin on the Spot.

    3) Why do some Nigerians complain about being oppressed when they see someone that’s well-to-do –or at least looks well-to-do . Nobody can oppress you and make you feel inferior without your consent. So grow some self-confidence.

    4) Why do a lot of women today equate going round in barely there clothes with being confident and owning their sexuality? If you’re really that confident, you won’t always feel the need to draw attention to yourself. Your sexuality is more that your body parts.

    6) Why do side chicks remember ‘’feminine solidarity’’ only after they got caught and shamed by their mugu’s wifey and other women? Where was the ‘’feminine solidarity’’ when you were shaggging another woman’s husband? Why didn’t “feminine solidarity” keep you from getting pregnant for a fellow woman’s husband?
    NB: I do not think adultery is ever justified and to me, cheating married hoish husbands are as much to blame as side hos ( yeah, I said it).

    7) Why do Nigerians enjoy going back to their political vomit? Granted, President Jonathan has not performed up to expectations but that does make Buhari or Atiku saints. Why are APC politicians now heralded as paragons of virtue when we all know that majority of them decamped from PDP? In the words of Okechukwu Ofili, “same shit, different toilet”. Better the toilet you know than the one you don’t. Plus the last thing we need in this country are Islamic extremist at the helm of affairs. #TeamJonathan

    I’ll be back

  11. Fashionista

    November 19, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    1) Why does society constrain us all to get married and have children?
    2) Why are the ones who do not wish to get married and have children looked down on?
    3) Why is seeing more than one person at the same time seen as a bad thing? what if they all give you different things that you need? sex, emotional comfort etc.?
    4) Why should we throw bridal showers for rude, self entitled and undeserving friends?
    5) Why do brides always feel so entitled (yes I had to repeat myself)?
    6)Why are some little kids so annoying (ITK behavior)?
    7)Why do some sisters in law think they can butt into things that aren’t their business?
    8) Why do people like to “form” busy? urgh!
    Sorry I know i’m weird but I just wonder about some random things.

    • Blackbeauty

      November 19, 2014 at 8:50 pm

      @ #5. Please let the brides be. It’s their special day and the people who matter to them and vice versa are ready to go above and beyond for them. I’m told it’s only when a girl is getting married and pg that she can get people to wait on her

    • Fashionista

      November 19, 2014 at 9:39 pm

      I get that, it’s just the ones the become rude in the process that I have a problem with. After all I was a bride once and I didn’t insult my friends or make them feel unappreciated.

  12. IsThatWhyWeAreHere?

    November 19, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Lmao @ question 6…welcome to the agbayas club.

  13. ME

    November 19, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    @fashionista,u spoke out my mind.My questions are
    1.why do women often expose their body especially the parts that are sacred? I rily nid an answer
    2.what exactly is the essense of life?
    3. Why do pple look at you smehow wen u speak up about bad tins, as if dats not wat they are also tinkin in their mind.
    4. Why are some Nigerians so vain, they look down on pple who dnt dress or look well forgetting that the wealthiest of men don’t invest in the pricest material tins of life.
    5.Why do some women act like life is all about men,men and men,marriage, having children don’t dey hv dreams and goals to accomplish.
    6.Why do pple hv regrets?i bliv so much in d power of destiny and predestination, we r just acting out an already written script,so take a chill pill
    7. Why do drivers insist on playing loud stupid songs,some of us love our peace biko
    8.Why do pple eat and leave deir plate for sme1 else to wash,i hate it esp wen ure not a mummy or daddy.My inlaws do dat a lot,it makes me angry,wat do I do b4 I talk one day
    9.why do some pple eat with their mouth making different sound of music.
    10.Why do pple judge a womans home keeping skills by the way she looks, they see a girl who looks quiet and reserved and spirikoko den she will be a gud wife but d one with weave,nice cloth,swag,she no go fi sabi cook.I tire for this life matter jare.make I stop here

    That’s all I can remember for naw

    Am just recreating my own world, living my life the way ive always wanted, contented and grateful for all I hv and ive become. Anyhow u see me, the truth is I don’t send you,if ure nt God ur opinon dsnt count-MY SLOGAN

  14. Qees

    November 19, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    What’s up with everyone being a makeup artist, fashion designer and stylist these days?

    it is not restricted to the above profession- i think we usually wait for someone to test the water then we follow, look at pure water business, event planner, generator business, inverts and the magazine business- Celebs dey cover all sorts of magazine nowadays.. blogging sef follow.. when i tell people i have a blog, the next thing i am told is to do adsense like Linda Ikeji then i tell them, i dont do news.. i write

  15. Que

    November 19, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    1.) What’s up with every typist with an opinion forming writer/blogger/motivational speaker/social commentator/expert

    • Fashionista

      November 19, 2014 at 9:41 pm

      LMAOOOO @ typist! Haba!

  16. Ikido

    November 19, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    1.) Whats up with every BN write up propagating the Feminist agenda?

  17. queenbee

    November 20, 2014 at 11:59 am

    1. why do we just assume a successful lady is a prostitute.
    2. why do pastors refer to money alone as a means of paying my tithe, I mean the bible clearly said “first fruits” which can also be the biggest chicken, goat, sheep, bag of rice, maize, etc in your house or farm, or other farm proceeds.
    3. why am I not allowed to marry the man I love just because he is from a different religion, tribe, state.
    4. why must I post a picture on social media i.e Instagram, Facebook, just to get likes, am I the only person that thinks that idea is lame?
    5. why do northerners (mostly the Huasas )just assume all Christian girls are prostitutes that can be lured with money?
    6. why do guys feel because am a girl I should only aspire for marriage, my dreams and ambitions are useless because I am not yet married.
    7. Whats up with pre wedding and post wedding pictures? am I the only one that thinks its irrelevant and a waste of resources?
    8. finally I really don’t get extravagant weddings I mean if you can afford it no problem but why do people go and borrow money or even collect loans from financial institutions just to have a big society wedding and then spend months sometimes years paying it off.

  18. Queen Spicey

    November 20, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    Why do some people play music with their phones in a bus without head-piece?…. No be by force to listen to your music na ahn ahn

    • D

      November 20, 2014 at 8:58 pm

      Not only on the bus, at work too. I have certain co-workers that play their music at work and I work for a big and I mean real big multi-national company if I mention, people go shock and this is one of the Headquarters too and not in Nigeria. One day I am going to get angry and throw that phone somewhere where she will never find it…playing their country music nonsense in my ears

  19. yea

    November 21, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    Why do we have so many shallow ladies?
    Why are these shallow ladies celebrated?
    Why do people term you “hater”if you happen not to celebrate the shallow ladies?
    Who invented the word “hater”?

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