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Kunmi Omisore: You Reserve the Right To Struggle



I’m a firm believer in being emotionally balanced in whatever situation I find myself. The trouble is I’m also a highly emotional weirdo. When I’m angry, I’m too angry; when I’m sad, I dig my own Pity Party Pit and wallow in it; when I’m a weist, I really pull out all the stops. So, it’s a massive struggle you see; to try and be balanced while having a whirlwind emotional system.

Very recently, I found out that I was ashamed to admit to myself that I struggle with certain things; and it started to raise a lot of questions within me of why and what exactly I had to be ashamed of. I felt like I had somehow failed when I didn’t manage to keep my peace, got upset about things that were not particularly important (in the grand scheme of things). I took things too personally, took people for granted, woke up on the wrong side of the brain, did not love others or be the pillar-of-support, amazing, out-of-this-world friend… The list was endless.

But the reality of life – and what I came to acknowledge and accept – is that we all have days and times when we struggle with things, from feelings of self-worth, to unresolved emotions, to a relationship with God, to nagging habits, to issues we may never be comfortable enough to share, or even admit to ourselves. But I come bearing good news! Read the next sentence carefully. It’s okay to struggle.

There is pressure to be ‘put together’ – to consistently have your faff sorted out, to choose from your storehouse of motivational Instagram quotes and be inspired for the day (“Starve your distractions. Feed your focus”. “Accept what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be”. You know the drill…)

It can sometimes feel as though we have failed at something, or we aren’t strong enough individuals, or we lack XYZ. The truth is: *insert struggle* …………. does not make you any less of a person. Shortcomings don’t define you. Yes, they are a reality, and yes, it can be incredibly challenging dealing with your personal struggles. But here’s the gist… Everyone is. You have not failed the Life Test by having difficulties.

If I’ve learnt anything in 2014, it’s the importance of not being too hard on yourself, because at the end of the day, you are an unfinished piece of work. We are all a work-in-progress and transformation doesn’t happen overnight. This isn’t a licence to let go and be tossed and turned by your challenges; stay strong but allow yourself to be refined. Don’t stop working at yourself, and striving to be the best version of you, but don’t let your awareness of your imperfections eat you up. After all, your struggle is part of your story (Instagram-derived quote *cough*).

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Zigzagmtart

Kunmi Omisore is a non-award-winning opinionist, currently living the life of a nomad. She believes in the power of words and the importance of people being able to express themselves. She is presently trying to make sure she doesn't end up penniless. Follow her on Twitter @Kunmi_O for more stimulating conversation and high levels of weistfulness.


  1. Queenie

    January 1, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Preach! This captured the promise I made to myself yesterday; accept your weaknesses and work towards being a better person. A person who you, yourself, will want as a friend.

  2. chica

    January 1, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Great piece

  3. Eberechukwu

    January 1, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Kunmi Omisore is a “non-award winning opinionist”……..this got me laughing.

  4. Black Ink

    January 1, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    True talk !

  5. Sisi

    January 1, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Preach on sister, I need more of this!

  6. abby

    January 2, 2015 at 1:27 am

    Lol @ non-award-winning-opinionist…..”did not love others or be the pillar-of -support,amazing out-of-this-world friend” have felt this way severally….and yes!it is OK to struggle! Great article…


    January 2, 2015 at 3:35 am



  8. Seyi

    January 2, 2015 at 9:26 am

    Nice piece. Keep it up!!!!!!

  9. Omodele

    January 2, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    True confession..hmmm!

  10. ucylo

    January 3, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    great piece kunmi…..Happy new year

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