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Seun Akinlosotu: The Year We Do Not Do Resolutions

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As far back as I can remember, which is probably 2.5 decades ago, I have always ushered in the new year at Church, in God’s presence – full of memories of the ending year, yet in great anticipation of the incoming year.

The new year starts off with such trepidation; how did I do last year? How much did I slack off? Did I pray, fast, live holy enough? Did I please God enough? Or should I even not bother showing face in His courts this year? Did I save enough or did I buy too many shoes and bags? Did I acquire any new taste? Did I learn any new culture, immerse myself in arts maybe? Has my walking semi adjusted from K-leg to bow leg? Did I fall in love or out of love? Did any man catch my fancy? Did I give any man a chance? Did I go on enough dates? Did I take the locks down and allow someone come close or am I just better off packing my load to a convent?

Did I do well career wise? That my boss that won’t give me a promotion – did I work hard enough? How was my work ethic? My deliverables? Did some “foreign witches fly across the atlantic” to waylay this promotion? Did I pray hard enough concerning the job or was I too lax? or maybe craze just dey worry the man!

Have I done too many brazillian weaves this year? Did my natural hair get to breathe? Did it grow at all abi we are still on Yanribo levels? God dey sha, because all this fertilizer I invested in.

I sat in church as the cross over service rolled on and my mind was everywhere. I kept asking myself these questions, mostly criticising myself. Then I came up with a long list of changes I want to make; new things I want to do, potential destinations, all the great things I think I should have done to enrich my life the previous year but did not…and i’m hell bent on doing. For where? I don’t even remember half of them by the time mid year rolls along.

As I’ve gotten older and identified more of myself, I’ve shied away from New Year resolutions. I make mental notes of some things, but God forbid I actually voice them out or repeat them to anyone.

So, this year, for the first time in decades, I was NOT in church ushering in the New Year. I was in my friend’s house – and refused to attend their church simply because their church is a really good church but it’s a little too much for me. I’m, faith wise, in a place where there is such a thing as too much in a church. I’m officially excessively churched out!

Instead of heading to church like normal Nigerians do, I was home writing this gist out. It’s actually more of a letter to myself. See I’ve come to start understanding, and agreeing with letters to self. I used to read some self notes written by others and would before even reading the whole thing tell myself, “nkan’n damu babe yi sha”. (Something is troubling this babe) What letter are you writing to yourself biko? Can’t you just go to the mirror and address yourself there? What’s with all the senrenren?

This year, there will be no resolutions. None whatsoever. At midnight, or thereabout, I got on my knees and thanked God in hope that he could still hear me and attend His ears to my lips and my heart’s desires in the 4 corners of any room. He doesn’t only hear or answer when I’m in a gathering of like minded fellows.

This year, as I make no resolution, I am thinking maybe this is the year to stop being in church for one reason or the other up to 4-5 times a week without feeling gulity. I call this religious blackmail. I am also thinking this year is the year to actually take tangible steps to earn that promotion instead of just sprinkling anointing oil around my boss’s office, and rendering fire & brimstone against all those opposing my growth at work. The fire sef is tired of burning.

I am also thinking that perhaps this year is the year that every time I dress up, it is with the intent of looking sexy and turning heads. I have just been advised to (with hands grasping my boobs) package myself well.

This can be the year I kiss a guy on a first date, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? This might be the year that dating a Caucasian doesn’t sound like expecting Akpos to pronounce “Terpsichore” correctly. This idea is so foreign to me. Maybe this year is the year I can dress up and head to a bar or lounge on my own without feeling out of place.
Hey, maybe I’ll even go au naturale this year with my hair.
Mba, God forbid bad thing abeg!

Maybe this year, Mr.Q & I will actually be more than just friends. Orrrrrrrrrrr maybe this is the year I finally accept it can’t be more than what it is, therefore it’s time to put a permanent lid on it and move on. Will I be okay? Will he be? Will we be with other people, and our minds travel to the other, secretly wondering what the other person in doing? A longing for the other that we refuse to admit and accept?
Will this be the year Savannah realizes, just because you are in love with someone, and can’t imagine a day without them means you’ll have them, yet it’s won’t be the end of the world. Is this the year new alliances of the heart are formed? or is this the year Mr. Q…

Like I said, I’m not into New Year resolutions anymore. 🙂 but I do hope you do what works for you. I hope that this new year brings great tidings to you and yours. I hope that life aligns to serve you, that everything turns around for your good; and that God’s ears are inclined to your prayers, and that Heaven always hears you. I pray that Angels are never far from you. I wish you always, always, always, nothing but the best!
Happy New Year! Welcome to 2015.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Spotmatik

Seun Akinlosotu is a Tech Analyst by day and an aspiring Writer by midnight. She's a self proclaimed Romanticist who likes to write light heartedly. Her write ups are geared at a cross mix of audience, none of which will need an Oxford Dictionary to understand her. There's more to read from her at www.lovedeyshackme.blogspot.com. & on IG @Chechecosmos

34 Comments

  1. Presh

    January 5, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    For the first time in the 29 years of my existence i stayed home on the 31st night, reflecting on the 2014 i didnt feel like going to church., I didnt feel like kabashing into the new year. i am curious to know if that will make the year better or worse. But i was thankful to God for 2014.

  2. Debee

    January 5, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Wow I feel like I wrote this. Thank u for reassuring me that I’m not crazy and alone in this world lol…especially on the church matter,and that one about closing the lid.

  3. MOSIWOMEKA

    January 5, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    I am also not into making new year resolutions, I just always pray to be a better individual and to strengthen my relationship with God.
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    Mosi Tash

    @Mosi_Tash_Jazzy

  4. Sisi

    January 5, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    This just sums me up perfectly, didn’t go to church for the crossover service rather I prayed at home plus no resolutions for 2015. I am just going to strengthen my relationship with God, love more regardless, travel more, make new friends/acquaintances, and just go with the flow. Oluwa is in charge.

    • sonia

      January 6, 2015 at 12:25 pm

      lets be friends then…. Mail me [email protected] .

    • Babydee

      January 6, 2015 at 5:27 pm

      lol. I absolutely love this. I didnt go to church either and my mom nearly had a heart attack when i told her. I just read The Resurrection of Bingo on your blog and it’s the funniest thing ever. I hope we get to see more of you on BN.

    • Akinnagbe O. Raymond

      January 7, 2015 at 8:11 am

      Ds lovly, put more effort

    • Foluwakemi

      January 7, 2015 at 8:37 am

      Seun dear,love this short But brain tasking .mind of stayed away from church that night too,not that God was not faithful,or that i was not greatful But you know,it get to a time when you just get tired of doing Same thing over and over again.Abeg it is well this year.

    • barbiebolu

      January 7, 2015 at 9:54 am

      Wow!!!! This is a lovely write up,well done Seun.

  5. HAWTTALKWITHTOSAN

    January 5, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    Gbam! Could not have said it any better. I am a christian but sometimes we put too much significance on crossing over in Church, Truth is Jan 1st is just another day. I also made almost no resolutions. My no more selfie resolution has been broken already. lol.

    hawttalkwithtosan.blogspot.ca

    • Babydee

      January 6, 2015 at 5:28 pm

      Lmaooo @ selfie. That should be my resolution!! Even my phone is tired.

  6. D

    January 5, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    I guess there are many of us that did not go to no cross over (when did they start calling it that sef, it used to be Watch night service) nothing this year. An acquaintance asked me today if I did any cross over serenren, this year I crossed it over on my bed, snoozing…I got up the next morning and took time I prayed. I decided also not to ask God for anything other than no death in my family this year and sound health. I plan to strive for many things this year but I decided not to do all the asking at the beginning of the year as I step out in faith this year on many things I shall be seeking His face and guidance as I dey waka along. I don’t understand why we feel the need to rush all our prayer points in right before the clock strikes midnite like if we don’t God will not answer the rest of the year.

    • Anon

      January 5, 2015 at 11:25 pm

      Touche

  7. Ada Nnewi

    January 6, 2015 at 10:10 am

    Absolutely lovely piece!

  8. Jizzel

    January 6, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    Totally loved this piece…. I didn’t go to church either and I refused to make any new year resolutions. I just plan to be a better person with every passing day.

    Your write ups are the best… Looking forward to reading more from you (especially your hilarious stories).

    P.S- why am I not surprised Mr Q made it into this one… I can jack him up and knock some sense into him if you’ll let me…haha

  9. Yes Ke

    January 6, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Seun ooo… u no go kill me with laughter! Lmao… very nice piece my dear. Yes ooo… no resolutions this year, just going with the flow. I hope Mr. Q is reading or sombori has told him to come read it… lol! If not… I get that oyinbo guy wey dey interested… wink wink

  10. labake

    January 6, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    I loooooovvvve this piece. Well done Seun.

  11. tee

    January 6, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    Well said, was thinking about the same thing this year that I was done with playing church, I will rather work on having a personal relationship with G

  12. lanre ola

    January 6, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    beautiful piece Seun……..i could totally relate to it. this Mr Q. someborri…………Oluwa minister to him

  13. Mr Vern

    January 6, 2015 at 3:35 pm

    Hey Oluwaseun! Hilarious… Good to finally read you up here and let others have a feel of what we (your friends) love about you and your flaming gift. Abeg when are back home o, We’ve missed you o… Be warned though, it’s snowy!!! Good job dear, keep it up!

  14. Sanmi

    January 6, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    My dearest Seun, you just blew my mind with this article. Wow, it’s beautiful.

  15. anonymous oh

    January 6, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    2013 I didn’t attend crossover service. I stayed at home and had mind bending sex with my husband and got pregnant after 11 months of trying. Guess not going was an answer to prayer, lol.

    • debs

      January 6, 2015 at 10:00 pm

      Oh my!!! You are sucha clown!

  16. Me

    January 6, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    Ke ma tan rayin….and be calling it just another day, you pray into a new year in a gathering because when 2 or 3 not to even talk of tens, hundreds and thousands are gathered, God is surely there. You have the whole of the 31st if you want to “reflect” but remember that imitating this Oyinbo people doesn’t make you an Oyinbo person, we Africans need more prayers than them because of all the Ifas our forefathers worshipped. STOP with all this Oyinbo doings, it’s just one night in 365 days….

  17. Esslims

    January 6, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Lovely piece, I just love your write up

  18. Ennyat

    January 6, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    Lovely post and I enjoyed every bit. I did not go either and I haven’t been for the past 3 years. God and has being great, I cross over with my children and hubby praying at home. It’s a heart thing and not tradition.

  19. Ikebesuper

    January 7, 2015 at 6:46 am

    Well said seun. I didnt attend the crossover too, i was jet lagged. Bring more on sav.

    Ikebesuper

  20. Ikebesuper

    January 7, 2015 at 6:47 am

    Well said seun. I didnt attend the crossover service too, i was jet lagged. Bring more on sav.

    Ikebesuper

  21. made

    January 7, 2015 at 7:29 am

    this year i was not in church, started the year with very good friends, barbecue good food and awesome wine some were as old as 1988,1991. my mother in law would probably freak out if she reads this.

  22. Debbie Hinton

    January 7, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Wow. Being in law for the last 10 years and going thru personal court drama has taught me the meaning of words. Not just saying them but the weight behind their intent. I felt that weight from the words displayed by this young woman. I too concur and affirm by stating so but will CONFIRM by living so….this year no resolutions…this year ACTION will take place and all that was not accomplished in 2014 in my life, will be revisited along with the new that I want and WILL accomplish in 2015! Thank you Seun for this insightful and thought-proving article! May you and yours continue to be blessed in this new year and beyond!

  23. Momo

    January 7, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    Couldn’t have said this better! I hope to read more from ya Seun! Nice to have peple with pragmatic per these issues in Nigeria/

  24. agatha egenti

    January 9, 2015 at 8:40 am

    Awesome!

  25. lapsy

    January 9, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    U r a fantastic.writer! You should try to make money from this ‘hobby’

  26. Olubunmi Daudu

    January 11, 2015 at 10:15 am

    Really nice Seun. So happy you are pursuing this part of you. Thank God for you o. Me, I no sabi wetin resolution be. Never made one….. Always thought twas time wasting.

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