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Fola Daniel Adelesi: You Don’t Have To Suffer For Everything

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In the last few days I have heard people say repeatedly that whatever you don’t suffer to get you will not appreciate. Some others say if you get something for free then you will not value it. Where are all these fallacies coming from?

I can tell this is the mindset of so many people so they don’t ever think they can get certain things for free or get them without struggling. They think everything they own must be suffered for.

Let me shake your mentality if this is your mindset. To start with, the education you got which has enabled you to be able to read this was not paid for by you! A few years after you were born your parents or guardians put you in school. You were not the one who suffered to pay the school fees and all the bills in the house. Do you not appreciate the education you have gotten?

You wake up on daily basis and are able to breathe. You are not paying a dime for the air but does that mean you don’t appreciate the air since it is free? I understand that it is not everyone that will appreciate what they get for free. They may not appreciate the value until they have lost it but that does not mean all things gotten for free are not valued.

I have, at different points, reflected on my life and humility has taught me that there are so many things I can never get on my own. It will take the kind hearts of other people and the favour of God to get them.

What I want you to work on is that suffering mentality. So many wrong things have been passed onto us and this is one of them. This has now developed the suffering mentality in us. We never expect good things to come to us easily or cheaply. We want to see the suffering before the good things.

Maybe this has also been made worse by so many people who are making efforts to tell their rags to riches stories. They want the story to be compelling and the play up the suffering much more than any other benefits and gifts they have received at no cost.

There are many out there who are also just suffering. Yes, I mean suffering for nothing. They think they are paying the price for something that is to come but they will just punish themselves unnecessarily.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a strong advocate for paying the price for what we need to get in life. I believe there can be no gain sometimes when there is no pain but there are several things we also cannot pay for with our intelligence, efforts, resources and suffering.

Dear friend, there is something called favour. Some say it is luck. Others even think it is destiny. Whatever it is, I know there comes a time in a man’s life when it looks like all of nature’s forces are aligning in order to help you. For that reason, you get more than you want out of life and receive far more than you bargained for.

This is why you meet some humble successful people who will never brag that everything they achieved is by hardwork. There is that part of the story that they cannot explain because they got more than what their efforts should yield.

I dare say that if we are to get everything in life by our efforts, we would probably die before getting a quarter of what we need. Erase that mindset of suffering to get everything in life. Work as hard as you can and pay every necessary price but hope for more than only what your effort can get you.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Hongqi Zhang

Fola Daniel Adelesi (also Fola Daniel Speaks) is a Professional Public Speaker, Learning & Development Expert, Communications Professional, and an author of more than 13 books. He's a highly engaging training facilitator who holds his audience spellbound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies, and religious organizations, he has been part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. Some of his published books include: - Get Up and Hit That Goal - Basic Skills for Outstanding Leadership - Breaking Grounds Despite Backgrounds - Writing Business Proposals - Indebted to Ignorance He's also a highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction who is endeared to many corporate clients. He was on the Debaters TV reality show Season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy Television from Dec. 2008 to August 2009. He currently features consistently on Channels Television and Television Continental, two of the leading TV stations in Nigeria to discuss national and youth issues. He keeps a vlog at and his books are available on or

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