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Fola Daniel Adelesi: You Don’t Have To Suffer For Everything

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In the last few days I have heard people say repeatedly that whatever you don’t suffer to get you will not appreciate. Some others say if you get something for free then you will not value it. Where are all these fallacies coming from?

I can tell this is the mindset of so many people so they don’t ever think they can get certain things for free or get them without struggling. They think everything they own must be suffered for.

Let me shake your mentality if this is your mindset. To start with, the education you got which has enabled you to be able to read this was not paid for by you! A few years after you were born your parents or guardians put you in school. You were not the one who suffered to pay the school fees and all the bills in the house. Do you not appreciate the education you have gotten?

You wake up on daily basis and are able to breathe. You are not paying a dime for the air but does that mean you don’t appreciate the air since it is free? I understand that it is not everyone that will appreciate what they get for free. They may not appreciate the value until they have lost it but that does not mean all things gotten for free are not valued.

I have, at different points, reflected on my life and humility has taught me that there are so many things I can never get on my own. It will take the kind hearts of other people and the favour of God to get them.

What I want you to work on is that suffering mentality. So many wrong things have been passed onto us and this is one of them. This has now developed the suffering mentality in us. We never expect good things to come to us easily or cheaply. We want to see the suffering before the good things.

Maybe this has also been made worse by so many people who are making efforts to tell their rags to riches stories. They want the story to be compelling and the play up the suffering much more than any other benefits and gifts they have received at no cost.

There are many out there who are also just suffering. Yes, I mean suffering for nothing. They think they are paying the price for something that is to come but they will just punish themselves unnecessarily.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a strong advocate for paying the price for what we need to get in life. I believe there can be no gain sometimes when there is no pain but there are several things we also cannot pay for with our intelligence, efforts, resources and suffering.

Dear friend, there is something called favour. Some say it is luck. Others even think it is destiny. Whatever it is, I know there comes a time in a man’s life when it looks like all of nature’s forces are aligning in order to help you. For that reason, you get more than you want out of life and receive far more than you bargained for.

This is why you meet some humble successful people who will never brag that everything they achieved is by hardwork. There is that part of the story that they cannot explain because they got more than what their efforts should yield.

I dare say that if we are to get everything in life by our efforts, we would probably die before getting a quarter of what we need. Erase that mindset of suffering to get everything in life. Work as hard as you can and pay every necessary price but hope for more than only what your effort can get you.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Hongqi Zhang

Fola Daniel Adelesi (also Fola Daniel Speaks) is a Professional Public Speaker, Learning & Development Expert, Communications Professional, and an author of more than 13 books. He's a highly engaging training facilitator who holds his audience spellbound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies, and religious organizations, he has been part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. Some of his published books include: - Get Up and Hit That Goal - Basic Skills for Outstanding Leadership - Breaking Grounds Despite Backgrounds - Writing Business Proposals - Indebted to Ignorance He's also a highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction who is endeared to many corporate clients. He was on the Debaters TV reality show Season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy Television from Dec. 2008 to August 2009. He currently features consistently on Channels Television and Television Continental, two of the leading TV stations in Nigeria to discuss national and youth issues. He keeps a vlog at https://youtube.com/foladanielspeaks and his books are available on https://amazon.com/author/foladanielspeaks or https://ediblepen.org/shop

9 Comments

  1. Abbey

    April 26, 2015 at 10:06 am

    Wow . I agree . So deep and true. Despite several degrees , PHD’s, doctorate & so on it is by Gods grace than you can explain success, Most successful writers, singers, business moguls and top entrepreneur’s are not necessarily the best at what they do . There are people out there who know how to do what they do just so well, and as much but still not fortunate enough. A good example is here in London, where some shallow minded people expect people to go thru what they went thru as what they deem suitable, forgetting the immensity of Divine favour . Those that did cleaning jobs expect others coming to do so.
    In fact , to add to your article there are people who do not want to hear other people’s swift progress in life. If you know one of those people pls run .
    Its unbelievable that even some exposed men , do not want to hear of other people’s advancement.
    I was shocked the other day when this well to do guy was saying he can never be with a woman who is or will become more successful than him. The irony is that his wife is doing very well now and I often wonder if she’s unaware of how he feels.

  2. uche

    April 26, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    Nice one. This is one of the best articles I’ve read on this blog. Achievements cannot just be by hard work alone. If it were so, those people offloading trailer loads of cement bags would have been the richest. I believe in FAVOUR and know it will locate me soon

  3. Ada Inspire

    April 26, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    I totally agree. Sometimes, you receive far more than you bargained for. Some call it favour, others call it luck and the rest say you are blessed.

  4. Uuu

    April 26, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    Your article missed the point of what a lot of people mean, using your example parents suffered for the most today fees, you didn’t get it free to pass as you put in the effort so what are you saying ? Free is when your fees are paid, you are dressed, you don’t attend school, you pass and all you do is sleep

  5. True

    April 26, 2015 at 9:20 pm

    Very true indeed

  6. JAYNNE

    April 27, 2015 at 10:22 am

    this article is really on point

  7. ednutey

    April 27, 2015 at 11:44 am

    @Uuu:na wa o…this simple article has been read with serious microscope.In as much as not everyone would agree,i think this article is just simple to read,understand and digest as it is…you don’t need to over-read it..
    It hasn’t gotten to whether you passed your exams,and before you started reading to pass,have you ever heard of anyone failing in KG classes?Basically, you have your part to play even in the ‘free things’ that come your way,which makes you more humbled by them,but pls don’t over-read this article,it’s simply put enough….the mentality of having to ‘suffer’ for what we deserve is what makes most of us see ourselves as not deserving of somethings and killing our self-esteem because we think we haven’t worked hard enough,this isn’t undermining the essence of hardwork…but self-appreciation like the lizard if you think you’ve done well enough.

  8. always happy

    May 11, 2015 at 12:17 am

    Just like they said, “poverty is a evil spirit” – sufferhead mentality is a evil spirit . In this 2015, it is sad and a disservice to God if we as his children , his arrows are still carrying fori fori mentality around. Working like slaves like we are auditioning for Roots part #3, for what purpose and to what end exactly?

    • Tosin

      June 7, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      l-o-l.

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