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Ibidunni Damilola: Reason to Love



“You’re nobody until someone loves you.” James Arthur.

The human existence was raised by an unconscious force – LOVE, it is fondly called. It comes in different forms, such as affection, passion, care and all sorts. Whenever I look up its definition in journals, dictionaries and other books of knowledge, I am startled at the many definitions ascribed to it. It is defined as an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person.

It is also defined as a deep or abiding liking for someone. Finally, to my favorite definition, rather short but in depth: “Love is a profound and caring attraction towards someone.”
Love breeds compassion, joy, and happiness amongst other things but the human existence is faced by an ugly condition I call default, which connotes the heartbreak, divorce and other ugly conditions. Thus, we prefer to guard our feeble hearts from what it yearns for. Love is one of the few accessible feelings we acquire knowingly or unknowingly. It is inherent in us whether we’ve been in love or not.

I, for one, believe that these defaults imply our pain but pain sometimes is demanded to be felt, they might torment us, but they don’t define us. We choose what defines us in this universe. Without a doubt, the truthfulness of the person who claims to love you is sometimes a disadvantage. Sex and infatuation are major bones of contention whether you are truly loved or not; but, be cautious! In the journey of love, all obstacles are, somewhat, obvious. It only depends on you to see them, and not to allow your emotions cloud your judgment.

We need to understand that love is a strong feature of our existence and it deserves to be harnessed. Love wins battles; hearts are fueled by its existence; and, above all, it gives life. We shouldn’t curb the affection meant for a soul owing to the fear of pain. We will all make mistakes sometime in our lives.
Let bygones be bygones.

Open your heart, bask in the flattery of its fondness. Learn from its emptiness; let your doubts release you, and then love like you were never born.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Handmademedia

Ibidunni Damilola views the world as a stage and everyday an adventure through which he explores his vast interests. He is intrigued by the cores of humanity and its complexity, which he reflects in his crafts. Follow him on IG @ibidunnidamilola and on Twitter @iamibidunni.


  1. Tosin

    October 6, 2015 at 10:49 pm


  2. tai omo yoruba nimi

    October 6, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    wow ! what an insightful piece,thanks for the write up..i def needed that cos im going through a break up at the moment ,mainly cos of his parent’s interference and its been 8 months now but im slowly recovering and hoping to meet someone new and better.. lord oo help me

    • Oyinlola

      October 7, 2015 at 10:20 am

      I swear it’s seems so difficult meeting good guys after leaving a relationship that lasted a while. The past 10 months have been filled with all kinds of guys who don’t know what they want, who just wanna play with you. Some are honest enough to tell you they don’t wanna have anything long term while some are deceptive.
      My advise to you is to know exactly what you want, you won’t be a 100% sure of the other person but make sure it’s close to what you want. Also, I’ve learnt that while I’m waiting,I have to prepare myself to have the same character traits I want in a man. There r things I would lack that he’d have to complement but the basic things should be there.
      I pray you find love soon. Xoxo

    • Event Colours Nigeria

      October 7, 2015 at 10:50 am

      True talk @ be the type of person you want to attract.

  3. MACC

    October 6, 2015 at 11:00 pm

    Amazing!!!!. Love is kind. Love is peace.

  4. Oyinlola

    October 6, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    I think you’re never happy until you learn to love yourself. I’ve realised that being loved by someone else isn’t going to bring me joy If I don’t love myself. It’s easier to let go of all hurts and heartbreak when I know I’m in a place of loving myself.
    I’ve been heartbroken before, it affected me sso much that I skipped classes for a semester but I’m a love freak. I love being in love. I love the companionship, the friendship, all the attention and care I give and receive. I love the fights and makeup, I love lessons and teachings I receive from my partner.
    So would I love again, trusting and not holding anything back??? In a heartbeat. I’ve learnt that life is too short to be unhappy cos someone didn’t know your worth. I’ve learnt that you have to experience some pains to prepare you for that one who’ll love you selflessly.
    Love is a beautiful thing and I’m looking forward to a lifetime journey of it with someone special.

    • CB

      October 6, 2015 at 11:22 pm

      Oh boy! Una dey love o! See how eloquent y’all are? I couldn’t string two sentences about love together without sounding like an idiot ? just shows how clumsy of a ‘lover’ I probably am…sigh.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      October 7, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      Bia, thou formerly known as California Brawler; go to BN HQ and do change of name. All this rebranding you people are doing without formal notice is not permeable. It does not matter that I’ve been considering it too. Your pseudonym cannot begat another pseudonym. Oya, osiso go buy ya form.

    • californiabawlar

      October 7, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      Lmao!! I’m so glad I got to read this!! Abeg nor velz o! It’s all BNs fault…typing californiabawlar every single time while commenting just wasn’t economically feasible anymore as the name sef dey long pass some of my comments…plus muscle pull don begin dey catch me for thumb….The.Struggle.
      Okay sha, I will revert and redirect with immediate effect.

    • californiabawlar

      October 7, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      lmao…californiabRawlar…I see what you did there!! Na me be Hulk Hogan abi?

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      October 7, 2015 at 10:51 pm

      My own name wey resemble law firm n’kan? Sometimes the stress of typing it in over and over again discourages me from commenting. BN plix look into it. It weren’t so before.

      Just so you know, you are one of the reasons I started commenting on BN. You had just the right strain of bRawling craze to bring me out. I love your Yoruba proverbs too! How are the twins by the way? (insert wide toothy grin)


    • Bookworm

      October 7, 2015 at 8:53 am

      Chai… you’re good! I hope the kind of love you desire finds you soon.

    • Banke

      October 7, 2015 at 9:56 am

      Awww Oyinlola! I’m so sure this is my bestfriend. Messaging you now. lol. This piece right here came at the right time. I’ve been hurt before and find it hard opening up now…. Love is beautiful but finding that someone who’s worth it is the ish. May we all get to experience love.

    • ify

      October 7, 2015 at 3:13 pm

      hang in there

  5. ACE

    October 7, 2015 at 8:03 am

    Hmmm this thing called love, I can never understand it all . I won’t give up though, until I have found it !

  6. owo hayes

    October 7, 2015 at 8:38 am

    Love is great and God is love. Above all, loving someone may not be convenient but just keep loving. Love is a virus that spread’s the moment u show it. Love isn’t proud or boastful,in its low estate its a feature that money cannot is the reason we forgive.

  7. Tee&Fii

    October 7, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Yes, Love is a beautiful thing. We need more LOVE in this fast pace world we live in. Oh my people we shall LOVE each other. xoxo

  8. Tee

    October 7, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Just ended a relationship of over 3 yrs yesterday. Hope I can keep it together at least till 6 p.m when I’ll be closing for the day. I guess I’ll just take it one day at a time. Will I love again? Maybe.

  9. Tee

    October 7, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Just ended a relationship of 3yrs yesterday. Hope I can keep it together till 6pm when I’ll be closing for the day. Guess I’ll try to take it one day at a time. Will I love again? Maybe.

  10. maryjane

    October 7, 2015 at 11:34 am

    Love is indeed a beautiful thing. Have I loved before? Yes. Was my heart broken? Yes. Will I love again? Yes. Being in love is interesting, so open up your heart and let the love flow.

  11. Blondie

    October 7, 2015 at 11:45 am

    I love to care for people ordinarily but NEVER fallen in love…. still waiting for that… #shinesTeeth

  12. May

    October 7, 2015 at 11:56 am

    Love always always sound simple in words but acting is the part where we have issues. Help us Lord!

  13. Mz Titilitious

    October 7, 2015 at 1:07 pm

    Love is a beautiful thing! i love being in love, i love the feeling and all! So amazing

  14. bonnie

    October 7, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    Love is truly beautifl n amazin wen u find ryt persn….. found my 3yrs bck n we still countin yrs.

    • Banke

      October 7, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      awwwwnnn…. may I find mine too ijn. Waiting it out can be annoying at times. lol.

  15. Chloe coco

    October 7, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    I left a 5 year relatnshp earlier this year… Never been better cause there is this peace and happiness that just came with it. Yes it was hard and it is still hard, but I biliv it will turn out beautiful at the end of it all… Can’t deal with insecurity, possessiveness and trust issues for the rest of my life, it’s not worth it.

  16. Bowl

    October 7, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    @Bobosteke and Lara Bian, were so angry you mistook permeable for permissible. I don laugh tire !

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      October 7, 2015 at 10:36 pm

      Don mind the gel ojere. Using her name to cause confusion in my brain. Thanks for the correction.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      October 7, 2015 at 10:37 pm

      Glad it made you laugh, though.

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