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#BN2015Epilogues: Dupe’s Year of Tears, Faith, Confusion & Lessons Learned

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dreamstime_l_35036653Happy new year to all our readers! As promised, we are continuing the 2015 Epilogues due to the volume of responses we got. We’d like to thank every one who sent an entry, and if you sent your story before the 15th of December 2015, you will see it published on BellaNaija.

If you’re reading this and wondering, ‘What on earth is the series about?’ please catch up HERE.

***

This is a raw, undiluted, unedited and vulnerable account of my 2015. I call it my 2015 because indeed, 2015 was my year. So here I am, 11.31 pm, Monday 14th December, doing what I know how to do best a.k.a Last minute.com. It literally took all the guts (and some extra balls) in me to open my Microsoft word to pen my own epilogue. Mine is a story of resilience, faith, love, patience, confusion, tears, prayers and lessons learned.

I call 2015 my year of confusion and yes I mean that in every sense of the word but the most important thing that 2015 has taught me is that confusion in its entirety is not always a bad thing. As in every bad situation, find the good out of it, learn your lessons and move on. So yes, for the most part 2015 was a good year during which I graduated, lost weight, gained weight (lol halla to my orobos in the house who have had weight loss on their resolutions, every year, five years in a row. Don’t lose hope girl or boy; you will get there), fell in love, fell out of love, fell in lust, fell out of lust (praise Jesus somebody), fell in love again… I’m sure you get the drift by now sha. I’m a sucker for falling. In fact I like to fall, not trip o, fall as in head over heels, legs dancing skelewu in the air, tights plus waist trainer showing, skirt covering my face kind of fall. No shame there, I would do it all over again.

The best way to tell my story is to give an insight to what my life is like at the moment versus what it had been at the start of the year. I am 22, a law graduate, aspiring barrister and solicitor to the Nigerian bar, full-time daydreamer, part time cook, sucker for love, sucker for food and always God’s baby. I have the best family and friends in the entire world and generally, I always remember to shout to the world that God has been gooooooooooodd to me and all mine. I am alive, healthy and in the best place spiritually than I have been in years.

2015 set sail on a sad note, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years (genotype issues) and as at the 1st of January, I was literally feeling hopeless about this thing called Love. I was at an all time low and felt like God was just so far away from me and wondered how I was going to piece it all back together. God however reminded me that its not my duty to piece it together, I can only do that if I have all the pieces of the puzzle (we all know that I don’t) Here I am, December 14th, literally in awe that I have this thing in ABUNDANCE (Inserts prayers for all my BN single sisters: God will place so much love at your table that it will overwhelm you. You wont know if to pick the, flowers buying, sweet talking, love song serenading fine boy or the more calm, reliable, safe, and dependable one who loves you to the point where you begin to think to yourself what you have done to deserve such love)

Being the child of my mother that I am, I wanted none of it, I wanted someone else, and I wanted another’s… I wanted a Yoruba demon (lol) But God… God… He is still in the business of giving you brain so that you can give yourself brain. I prayed, I fasted, I did everything down to virtual cooking for it all to come together (lol don’t ask) but you see, things don’t work that way, at least not in the normal sphere of things. To pray for someone else’s boyfriend to come to love you is witchcraft ( lol yes I said it)

In my defence, I didn’t know that his heart belonged to another and the reason is simple, he told me otherwise. It started with innocent chats, every other day, to everyday BBM messages, calls, face time calls, Skype and all the nine yards. Until that cool Thursday evening when I summoned up the courage to ask him where we were headed and he said “… you know what the situation is now, I still like her, but I like you too, so please be patient with me” Let me translate the language of the Yoruba demon for you: Ah Dupsy baby, let me call you everyday, message you everyday, take you out on dates, and buy you gifts so that you get so emotionally attached to me that even when you finally figure out that I’m just keeping you around, in the event that things don’t work out with her, it would be too late to leave. Like I always say… but God, God opened my eyes to realise that no matter how much love you have for someone, you should never EVER, wait around long enough for them to disrespect you in the hope that one day they would come to love you. You are too beautiful too special and are bringing far too much to the table for that bull. You might not be their cup of Frappuccino, but you are someone else’s; someone who would ask for extra ice, extra sugar and extra whipped cream with a chocolate syrup topping (Oshey, Orobo on fleek)

I am now at the point where I am so confused as to what God has in store for my life but I will not dwell on what I don’t have or what is not happening in my life at the moment. Instead, I will enjoy this holiday season, winding down the year with my most AMAZING family, my beautiful friends and those who deem it fit to love me as they have done and will do, knowing fully well that I can not as of today, offer them quarter of what they give me. I will relish it, I will enjoy it and I WILL NOT SETTLE. I will wait for the one who makes me feel like the 4pm weekday cartoon sessions in the 90’s, who makes my heart beat like it did when it was time for 8pm Thursday Super Story or better still who makes me more excited than I am when Robin Thicke’s Lost without you comes on. I mean I am not lost without you because God has already found me, but please hurry up and come with one of our future private jets; they are faster (Can a girl dream?). Ah before I forget, you must be 6’2, have a gentle tongue, love me like I would love you and be willing to do life with me (haha, ask and you shall receive. Nothing wrong with specifics)

In the mean time, I shall cook, read, build and empower myself because there is nothing worse than not being the one that the one you’re looking for, is looking for. I leave you with a simple prayer for 2016, that God shall pay SPECIAL attention to you and yours in this coming year. It will be from your mouth, directly to God’s ears; no interpreters, no transmitters, just good old “It’s me again Lord, Bless me”

I wish you the merriest Christmas and a most fruitful and prosperous new year. May 2016 meet us all in joy, peace, happiness, good health, sound mind and clarity of vision.
To all my fitfam and aspirants to the committee: See you in 2016 (Aluta Continua)

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

15 Comments

  1. Holier

    January 7, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    this lady is a clown

  2. caleb

    January 7, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    I love that you smile through your story even in tears and that you have learnt what lessons you needed to learn.
    God Bless you real good!

    • dupe

      January 7, 2016 at 4:44 pm

      We garra laugh through the pain

  3. Busola Adedire

    Oluwabusola Adedire

    January 7, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Love your story, and you also sound like an interesting person.

    • dupe

      January 7, 2016 at 4:42 pm

      Haha, I’m glad you enjoyed my story. A happy new yeat to you

  4. yeyeperry

    January 7, 2016 at 3:40 pm

    Don’t I just love this…. Hugs for you baby girl. I hope 2016 is all you dream it to be and more!

  5. dupe

    January 7, 2016 at 4:43 pm

    Hehe @yeyeperry catching my hug and hugging back tighter. Happy new year girl!

  6. JANE

    January 7, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    HEY Dupe , i can totally relate to this. at some point i felt you stole my story. The part about dating someone attached to another ……….its crazy but thank God for opening my eyes and showing me what i am worth. no woman deserves that. God who makes everything beautiful will do it in his time.

  7. Mo

    January 7, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    So weird how I feel like I know this person and I probably don’t. Damn those yoruba demons! Leaving tons of girls everywhere having similar messed up stories smh.
    Anyway preach sister! I love how you acknowledge God’s role. Its important we all know that as long as God’s got you, you’re good.

  8. issy

    January 7, 2016 at 10:32 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story it has given me courage and strength to do the needful in my life.

  9. Sassymsethni

    January 8, 2016 at 11:44 am

    Uuh uuhh!!! Girl ur story is just a coloured photocopy of mine!! I blatantly refused to write my own epilogue, because I’m still in the healing process and emotions are a strange phenomenon. Why are these yoruba boys like thus kwanu?? After being single for a yr and half, I felt like I was finally ready to dive in the dating pool. Great idea huh?? Well, except the pool had no water and I dove in head first!! Lol. This guy was smooth…even by my own standards. I swallowed it all up, hook, line, sinker and even the boat sef. Dr. Concurrent Relationship called me one evening and we talked at length about anything and everything. Often punctuated with affirmations of love and a future together. By the time the call was over, I was pretty sure my brain had become heart-shaped. He had his intro the very next day. Loneliness is a bitch and I’ve resolved to always surround myself with people who truly love me and focus on building myself up. Maybe one day, I’ll finally met the guy who truly deserves me…

  10. Nma

    January 8, 2016 at 1:03 pm

    Nice one girl. Good you’ve learnt well.

  11. Cousin

    January 8, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    Hehehe mayb we shud organise supporters club for those wu have fell inlove wit d wrong persons! I Fell inlove wit d wrong girl too…i cant say she is a bad person…i guess she is not just into me! But d tin still dey pain! Its all good..still packing my bags and getting gettin ready to board d ”movin on bus”..but d funny tin is i am sure u girls complainin, had oda guys wu cud die for u, but bcos u loved Mr. X more, u shut such guys out. I guess d same myt apply to me? I cant say…guys are usually d ones doin d admiering! This love thing sucks! Na who love , na him loose o! All my life i have nevr wanted to be a player and lead girls on when i knew i cudnt b committed! However na players dey win o! I guess girls preffer guys who dont value dem…just sayin!

  12. You just made me smile

    January 11, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    Awwhh.. you made me smile because I was kinda sad.. and I love your write up especially the part of “from your mouth directly to God’s ears…”… May God answer your prayers and may we all have a much more fulfilling 2016! Amen.

  13. Bisi

    January 12, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    Wow! Dupe…yes from our mouth to God’s ears! All d very best babe…

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