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Olajumoke Awosemo: From Birth to Womanhood… the Struggle Never Ends

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WomanI recently stumbled on an article written on one of the numerous Caitlin Jenner interviews after her gender transitioning; she said, ‘one of the most difficult’ things for her since becoming a woman is deciding which outfit to wear everyday. I really didn’t know whether to be irritated, upset or just decide to be emotionless about her not so tactful comment. I concluded that even though she might think that she looks like a woman, she definitely has not the slightest idea of what it feels like to be a woman. The story of an average girl transcends beyond making daily fashion decisions. It is the story of continuous hustle as we develop from age to age.

You grow up as a little girl, facing the reality that you are a different being from the group of boys that whistle, stare or laugh at you when you pass by on the corner of the street. You cope with the question of why your father is overly protective of you, and why your mother constantly compels you to join her in the kitchen. You wonder why your brothers are freely watching their favorite cartoons in the sitting room. You query why suddenly your chest begins to ache for no apparent reason and seek an explanation for the sudden sprouts of boobs. You are constantly dealing with the gruesome pain every month, along with the fear of having a stained school uniform. Your mother keeps warning you to maintain at least a 10cm distance from the nearest boy around or you are at the risk of getting pregnant.

You get older and start to struggle with body image issues: why are some girls just so lucky to have developed so quickly at the top and lower part of their bodies when you remain just so straight? Sometimes you may just struggle to cope with your baby fat and keep questioning how some other girls could be so skinny. You watch all the big boys constantly flock around some pretty babes but even the geeks are too shy to say hi to you. Some girls change their tech gadgets like they are changing their handkerchiefs and you still cannot afford to have a phone that is smart enough to at least receive a multimedia message. Amidst all of these, you fight to escape from that sadist lecturer who constantly screams down the class during Phl 405.

You finally become a graduate and you are constantly being turned down from one application after the other. Yet you hear of those girls who never attended lectures but turn up for exams starting jobs at those multinationals you have always prayed about. You are being told that your job search would end when you move to the bigger cities but your dad wont allow you to move out of the house until a suitable suitor shows up for you but your brother was okay to leave. You take a break from applying for jobs to check up on Facebook and alas! One of the big runs girls in your department just got married in a lavish wedding style to a young millionaire from USA, yet your mother and her friends have a regular scheduled meeting where they ask you when you are finally bringing a man home.

Then, you eventually land a job, a suitor shows up and you arere issued the visa to finally exit your father’s house, that’s when the challenges of being a woman truly begin. Marriage is filled with its ups and downs but you cannot run back to dad’s house like you ran back when university became tough. The pains of pregnancy and childbirth cannot be shared or mother would have gladly gone to that labour room for you. Being a mum is a different ball game and all the rigors from before cannot even be compared to this. You are just recovering from your hormones still all over the place and the hubby is ready for you to start getting ‘jiggy’ with it. You struggle with balancing work and career and still have to work on those couple of extra kg you added on when everyone kept advising you should eat for two.

The truth is that, the struggle never ends…

Whether or not the society accepts this, the journey to womanhood is not an easy one. The struggle of a woman seem to have been underplayed or even ignored in the past but thankfully are now coming to bigger perspective to the world.

Photo Credit: Foto.com.ng | Nsoedo Frank

Olajumoke Awosemo is an HR Professional, a Personal Shopper and a Self-Developed writer. Her interest in writing focuses mainly on relationships, marriage and related issues but sometimes touches on other current issues. She is a wife, a mother and jointly manages a relationship blog with her husband at www.hookedandthrilled.com/blogger. She also runs her personal shopper business at www.hookedandthrilled.com/shopper"

17 Comments

  1. Adeyemi Zainab

    March 22, 2016 at 11:23 am

    To be a Woman is not easy at all especially a good woman

  2. Majestic

    March 22, 2016 at 11:24 am

    Nice piece!

  3. Blessed

    March 22, 2016 at 11:39 am

    Hnmm so so true!

  4. bruno

    March 22, 2016 at 11:41 am

    oh pls shut up. the way u talk as if its only girls that have body image issues. as if its only women that get turned down from job.

    the funniest part is, it is boys that do all the hard laborious jobs at home. do u know how many boys will prefer to stay in the kitchen and cook than rather go and fetch water or cut grass in the compound etc.

    pls shut up. all u silly girls that come here u write shit pls be quite.
    go to mile 2 and see how men are struggling to make money so their wife and kids dont go hungry.

    the writer of this article is a “personal shopper” that sums it all up. bye

    • www.thelmathinks.com

      March 22, 2016 at 12:01 pm

      Bruno ooooooooo! Who hurt you?

    • Hehehe

      March 22, 2016 at 1:07 pm

      Bruno just has me in fits sometimes

    • Oga o

      March 22, 2016 at 2:07 pm

      Bruno I agree with you. I chuckled when I read your chest starts to ache and suddenly your breasts sprout. But guys go through developmental changes too. Waking up most mornings with an erect penis can be really embarrassing for a teenage boy. Especially a teenage boy who shares a room. And what’s with the constant expectation to be a protector or a provider? You think it’s easy to wake up every morning to wash cars? Or put on generators? What about boys who didn’t/don’t have sisters and were dragged to the kitchen too?
      The most irritating thing about your article is the constant reference to runs girls. Chai!! Article lost all credibility for me right there. Being a woman is hard!! You could have just focused on that rather than comparing yourself with guys and runs girls. Runs girls of all things. So it’s hard to be a woman but you’d rather be a runs girl? Hadongerrit.

    • Bellemoizelle

      March 22, 2016 at 2:48 pm

      Lol Bruno oooo !!! I agree with you on this one but she’s actually saying the truth ,I was messing around with a friend asking him some questions about some things he expects in his future wife ,Omo c list ….In my head am like nawa ooo and he made me realise that as a woman a lot is expected from you and that shows how responsible you are…..
      La vie est belle…

  5. Vann

    March 22, 2016 at 11:51 am

    Very true. A round of applause to the writer and a standing ovation to women all over the world! :*

  6. Elizabeth

    March 22, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    The struggle to be a human being never ends. Struggle and Joy go hand in hand

  7. Babym

    March 22, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    I think I agree with Bruno on this one ? I am getting tired of all this “I am a woman woe is me” maybe it’s a personal thing but I don’t want to be walking around sulking because I am a woman. I’m not a victim of life nah. It’s not easy being a human being wether u r male or female. Shikena.

    • Hills

      March 22, 2016 at 4:34 pm

      As in!! It seems like some women love to celebrate their ‘pain’. It’s getting quite tiring. I love being a woman. Men have it hard as well, maybe even harder.

  8. Afiyo

    March 22, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    d struggle to stay alive, happy n luvly is universal. Genda no matter for hustle

  9. glow

    March 22, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    wonderful post that i can really relate to . Its not easy to be a woman, the struggle is so real .

  10. Md

    March 22, 2016 at 9:35 pm

    Another poor poor women article..I am a victim ,weak, entitled at the same time, the whole world is against me ( sorry the whole men is against me),being a woman is hard as if being a man is easy you ungrateful scum..another yawning article

  11. Kaydollz

    March 22, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    I had the believe that it was super hard being a woman but marriage has opened my eyes to see that I don’t have it half as bad as hubby,he has to provide whether he likes it or not or society would perceive him as a failure,if generator isn’t on every night (no light in lag) little man would not let us sleep,going to church or social functions nko we must look on point and the list goes on and on. It’s hard being a HUMAN BEING abeg.

  12. Emma

    March 23, 2016 at 12:48 am

    You sound frustrated. Ugh. Calm down

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