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Osisiye Tafa: We Experience What We Experience! Touring the Erin Ijesha Falls in Osun State

Osisiye Tafa

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I saw a man’s ass. I kissed under a waterfall. I held a spirit. I made an ostrich angry. I twerked, almost.
Trips are trips and the dollar is the dollar and you can have only one. I didn’t make these rules, I miss the old exchange rate too. It was time for a vacation and I am not fantastically corrupt so local tourism it had to be.

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I went on this trip with a couple of folks. The guy sitting in front of me had a weird arrangement where his jeans slipped and his boxers slipped too or he wasn’t wearing boxers. So throughout the 2 hour long trip from Lagos to Osun State, I found myself staring down a man’s butt crack. It was ridgy, it was hairy. It sometimes sweated and with every jolt of the bus, it rippled slightly. We experience what we experience.

First stop at Osun State was a pounded yam seller’s. While eating pounded yam, a woman walked around the table and fingered the guys she felt needed more staying power. I was one of them and I not being one to argue (and probably agreeing with her) got some herbs from her.
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Then we moved on to Zenababs Half Moon Resort. I don’t know what ‘Half Moon’ means but this is a beautiful nature nest complete with its own lake, grazing area, pool, little cottages and a fine assortment of wildlife. I guess I got too excited and one moment, I was building my Instagram portfolio and next moment, an ostrich was screaming the avian equivalent of ‘If I see your ear here again?!’ Tough, man.
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Then this!
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I mean this!
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Who knew Nigeria had a waterfall with seven levels spread across two states? The idea is that when you get to the fifth level of Erin Ijesha Waterfalls, you have actually crossed Osun State and arrived Ekiti State. We arrived the waterfall at 11 p.m. It’s beautiful; dark, windy and you can hear the sound of crashing falls in the distance like a low drone. Some of the indigenes told us to go check out the waterfall at dark. They swore it was fun. As we approached, I noticed the guys leading us were not a particlular number. Now, they were three, then they were four, then they were three again. Obviously one of them was a spirit or I had had too many spirits. Fine, I have life insurance but I still turned back.

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We set up a barbeque stand and speakers at the foot of the waterfall. Then it started, different kinds of dance. At 2 a.m., we were tired, so folks would just call someone’s name, then the person called would dance in front of everyone. At 2:20 a.m. (I can’t forget this time), my name was called: ‘Osisiye, twerk! Twerk?! Twerk!’.
First, I’m a man. Second, I’m a man. Third, I’m a man…who twerked…at the insistence of a crowd.

We experience what we experience.

There’s still more, the Osun grove where only virgins can walk into a certain corridor, friendly monkeys, the pantheon, worshippers and a water body that you can’t call a ‘water body’.
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If you happen to grace Osun State, make sure to drink Trophy beer; their brewery is located in the town so you get it for cheap. Also make sure the person sitting in front of you is wearing briefs or a tight belt.
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Osisiye Tafa is a banker by day, and writer by night. He has been published on The Guardian, Businessday, Thisday, Ovation, Y-Naija among others. He writes faction - fictionalized telling of actual events-which he shares on his https://tinyletter.com/outsider/journal. His debut book, ‘Sixty Percent of a True Story’ is available at Terra Kulture, Laterna, Amazon and Konga

34 Comments

  1. Ada nnewi

    May 12, 2016 at 5:07 pm

    You guys must have had alot of fun.. The last time i went there was year 2000 and i want to go back hopefully for christmas.. It was so much fun! Can’t wait to go back now it’s even better…

    • Adedamola Idowu

      May 12, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      Hi Ada, proud to have been the organiser of the trip you read about. You can always be part of my road trips. Please follow me on twitter @dharmorla

    • Ada Nnewi

      May 12, 2016 at 5:50 pm

      Will do just that…

    • pinkie

      May 12, 2016 at 5:53 pm

      oh wait! are you by any chance the Damola Idowu from English Arts Class (2010 set). proud of the initiative anyway. please leave an email address

    • Sheun

      May 12, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      Do you have an Instagram page?

  2. Adedamola Idowu

    May 12, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    Osisiye, good write up. Thanks for being a part of the trip. Thanks for being a part of my debut. ?

  3. sally

    May 12, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    “fingered the guys she felt needed more staying power”…..wink…RTFLMAO

    can c u had fun…gonna try ds out

    • Adedamola Idowu

      May 12, 2016 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Sally, proud to have been the organiser of the trip you read about. You can always be part of my road trips. Please follow me on twitter @dharmorla

    • pinkie

      May 12, 2016 at 5:51 pm

      do you have an instagram page or an email to contact. I am interested too.

  4. Ij

    May 12, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    Sounds amazeballs.. love it!

  5. segunsd

    May 12, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    Nice one Osisiye. Wish I was there.

  6. ATL'a finest

    May 12, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    Proudly Nigerian!!!! Mehn I wish I was there too 🙁 there are a lot of tourist site I want to visit so bad in Nigeria 🙁 & I can’t wait to continue my tour up there .

  7. Chy

    May 12, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Mad crush on osisiye, mostly his power bike or his perceived lifestyle not quite sure what it is

  8. Anon

    May 12, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    This is beautiful. Panoramic scenery.

    Tafa Osisiye – unusual name. Ace.

    • Anonymous

      May 12, 2016 at 7:25 pm

      It’s probably “usual” in his tribe or state, just because someone’s name is unfamiliar to you doesn’t mean it’s an unusual name.

    • Anon

      May 12, 2016 at 9:45 pm

      It is not. I know why I made that statement.

  9. Anonymous

    May 12, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    It’s probably “usual” in his tribe or state, just because someone’s name is unfamiliar to you doesn’t mean it’s an unusual name.

  10. Anonymous

    May 12, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Sorry for the double post guys.

  11. Hanee

    May 12, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    You should try micom golf Ada osun state too. It’s nice too

    • Adedamola Idowu

      May 12, 2016 at 10:08 pm

      Yes, it’s a wonderful place.

  12. Honeycrown

    May 12, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Wow! This made me laugh hard and it felt like I was there! I didn’t know Osun state has some cool spots. I have some business there later this year and will probably check it out.
    That pounded yam made me so hungry too. “We experience what we experience” ?

  13. Ej

    May 12, 2016 at 9:20 pm

    Pls drop your instagram or sumtin am not on Twitter like dat was just planning with a friend on road trips

    • Adedamola Idowu

      May 12, 2016 at 10:02 pm

      My Instagram is @dharmorla. My email is [email protected]

    • Tunmi

      May 13, 2016 at 3:29 pm

      I’m definitely following.

  14. Sarah

    May 12, 2016 at 10:13 pm

    Brought back wonderful memories of Great Ife. Erin Ijesha waterfalls was a favourite tourist site for us students back then.

  15. Adedamola Idowu

    May 12, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    My IG and twitter: @dharmorla. Email: [email protected] Let’s tour the world together starting from Nigeria.

    • Kemi

      May 13, 2016 at 10:13 am

      Hi Adedamola, would love to go on a trip like this.. do you have one planned soon?

    • Adedamola Idowu

      May 13, 2016 at 10:42 am

      Hello Kemi, Next on the calendar is a trip to Badagry & Benin Republic (Slave trade route). Date to be announced soon. Please keep in touch via [email protected] Twitter & IG: @dharmorla

  16. neeka

    May 13, 2016 at 3:12 am

    this was nice…I was smiling the whole time….thanks for spending your “non-fantastically hard-earned non-corrupt naira” in Naija

  17. Ajala & Foodie

    May 13, 2016 at 3:31 am

    I have never been to Erin Ijesha and this made me want to go!!!! and that pounded yam….did something for my appetite. But Micro golf resort, I believe is mighty over rated!!! I was there a couple of years ago and was not impressed at all!!! grass if we could call it that were dead!!! brown as in dead!!! and then there was nothing else to do around. The rooms too were not of the greatest…ok they are not it at all for the kind of ravings the place gets. I’ve been to other hotels, there is one around ilesha can’t remember the name very close to one expensive school in the area and that was better than Micro. I know we can do better than that in Nigeria I mean once you’ve been to Obudu you know we can do better.

  18. Tobydonut

    May 13, 2016 at 3:39 am

    I didn’t even get to the third level when I went last year. It was amazing, the adrenaline rush you feel when the water falls on you is incredible.
    Great write up Tafa , Nice initative Damola,Idanre is great too.

    • Adedamola Idowu

      May 13, 2016 at 9:38 am

      Thanks Tobydonut. I organised another trip, April 30 – May 2, we unanimously voted out Idanre hills, ? i hope we didnt miss out on too much fun, we opted for Ikogosi Warm Resort. Please follow me on twitter @dharmorla for more information on my subsequent trips.

  19. Lady S

    May 13, 2016 at 9:28 am

    Looks like you had so much fun… I guess I finally have an idea of what to do on my birthday… Can’t wait!

    • Adedamola Idowu

      May 13, 2016 at 10:20 am

      Hello Lady S, Perfect birthday trip with amazing discount on hotels and tourism sites…. Please get through ??? @dharmorla on twitter and IG

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