Let me officially welcome you to modern age or as we would rather call it modernity. You know our contemporary world, age of technology, new-age, as we all understand our present time to be. The perks of this age-of- extravagance, lavish lifestyles, forced or imposed relevance, statements and what have you, cannot be understated. Everything is a show or show-off; a statement, but to who exactly though?
I am most certain that even at this very moment you are going through this article, all you need do is look around you; your Instagram timeline, Twitter timeline, Facebook feeds, or on BellaNaija, Linda Ikeji and the likes and someone will (by themselves o) post something to their very own detriment – all in the name of making a fashion statement, being or remaining relevant, creating an impression or whatever really goes on in their minds. They choose to subject themselves to public ridicule, just so they are up-to-date (like I mean in this age of modernity, how can they be left out now) right? Sigh!
Dear modern lady, this is for you. Impress you!
As much as I would want to obscure, I have been a victim of this pressure at an earlier time in my life and even though I did not necessarily attract public ridicule (and that was just because my own scoin scion had small brain), I did learn a lesson or two for a lifetime. It seems now this struggle is coming back with a BANG! I mean look around you, it has such a presence even in this side of the world, it is hard to pretend it isn’t there.
See hen, contrary to your mind’s belief, the whole world is not just looking at you! You are putting yourself out there by yasef. Sho gbo?
One of the important lessons I taught myself over that period was to stop waking up every morning and feeling the need to give ‘’my fans’’ a little something from her royal highness.
I used to be a tom-boy most part of my early life (at least up until senior secondary level); when you start realising that the buzzes from guys and eventual calls and checks were not just because they wanted to be sure you were not run over by a giant bug on your way back home; or that while sleeping you were not trapped into another galaxy or time shield. Rather, they were interested in you in a not-so-cartoon or sci-fi movie way.
So I started being more conscious of my look, you know being more girly and stuff (I was still reasonably girly while a tom-boy though, I just could care less about certain extra girly stuff – tight/short dresses and make up). I would look up celebrities and how they dressed or magazines and all of that just so I can look like them and eventually be accepted just the way they were accepted.
My goodness! Can I begin to talk about how much a struggle this was? Kai kai! First of all, this was not me. Secondly, I had to keep up with it and only I knew I had to; so only I could comfort myself when I felt the wear. Maybe it was not perceived that way from the outside, but I mean what did any of us really care about back then? As long as it was hot and in style.
Now though, in this new (or newer) age, a lot of the world knows better and worse still, technology is at its maximum use with access that’s just chaotic; people who do not know you from Adam will be steady ready to insult your life like you affected their destiny by one post. The word literally x-rays your public show, dissects it and breaks down your mess up.
So lady, in this modern day, stop trying so hard to show the not so ‘’you’’- you to everybody else or just to get or keep the attention from guys. Impress you with yourself first, a.k.a. be yourself!
Question- do we really need to rob the ‘’bank of boyfriend’’ or go personally bankrupt because looking classy and stylish by the books equals spending a lot of Naira?
Believe me, I have heard a lady say (not quoting though), that she cannot own it if it is not a statement brand; she wouldn’t wear it if it wasn’t from a designer outlet or well-known boutique. What a colossal statement! Thankfully, she did have the money to back that statement up; but I was not and still am not in support (this is my personal take) of such an attitude. Especially, knowing that most ladies like her, only have that, “Keeping up with the Kardashians’’ attitude because of the impression they try to maintain in public eye.
Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having designer brands or shopping at well-known boutiques, but knowing the truth about buying designer brands in this side of the world or the rate of a dollar to the Naira now, spending your sweat’s worth (or Bae’s hard earned cash) on a fashion item, because it is branded ‘’Hermes’’’ or “Louis Vuitton’’ every other shopping session to create an impression for the world to see, is just criminal to yourself or whoever you are milking.
Honestly, the only reason a lady would make such a statement, in my opinion, is clearly because she has a reputation to uphold. Any lady who dresses stylishly or classy is doing so for herself. A lady who likes to try new things would not be afraid to mix it up, play it up – because, to her it really is not about the money equivalence. It is the complete expression of who she is through each outfit. So no, it wouldn’t have to be Hermes and the likes every other day; sometimes, it could be that really nice patent leather sling purse, with a random name to it, and an edgy look. Maybe the world will be okay with that too, but even if not, lady, please do yourself a huge favour… impress you first, be yourself!
As a lady in these modern times, the only thing you can get away with is being you, staying true to you. Why? Because even if the world does not understand it, it is who you are. The reason behind impressing you first is so that you will have a defence. Be that as it may, someone will relate; and if no one does, you would not feel intimidated, because it is you and not someone or something you tried to impersonate.
Photo Credit: The Fab – Fab Atelier @fabulousbanji on Instagram