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Asake Agoro: Why I Would Share My Relationships On Social Media

Asake Agoro

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dreamstime_l_46737748We live in a society where we are more concerned about how others see us, than how we see ourselves. It is a society where other people’s judgement of us is what gets stamped into our psyche. It’s what influences our decisions, our thought processes, our lives. I find myself more and more fierce in my protection of what is truly me: my essence, my uniqueness, my joy.

I see a lot of people completely hiding relationships from the public eye. Friends would be in relationships and keep them from the ‘witches of Instagram’ You can’t tag your boyfriend because your female followers might just slide into his DM! You know sh*t is real thing when you go for dinner/holiday showing two plates of food and only one person is in the picture. Dj Cuppy was vilified on social media for sharing snaps while on holiday covering the face of her boyfriend with emojis. I know someone who didn’t share photos of his then girlfriend till a few weeks to their wedding.

So it really is a thing for people to hide their relationships for various reasons best known to them. However, I feel there is a huge difference between keeping someone a secret and keeping it private. Where do you draw the line?

While I would not post every second of my relationship on Facebook, I would be very much suspicious if I was dating someone and not one photo of me ever surfaced on social media. Oh you eventually married me, but maybe there are 3 or 4 us you are ‘planning to marry’ till you pick one? I don’t know…maybe I’m just an overly paranoid human! Oh some people are private they don’t share their life on social media? But you are happy to share your breakfast, lunch and dinner, your ugly pets, your travels, your work etc.

Like someone once said, ‘I like sharing the good parts of my life on social media. What matters is that I work on being secure with myself not just only posting photos of boyfriends I’m secure of.’ We like to share the most happy parts of our lives on social media and sometimes most of them happen with that special someone so why not share it. Maybe don’t tag them, so the witches won’t come.

I once saw a tweet of a girl who posted a photo of a guy she was on a date with, asking if he was anyone’s boyfriend as she was about to get serious with him. As fate would have it, said guy was actually someone else’s boo. So maybe there’s something to be said for posting your bae on social media? Just to be sure your boo doesn’t have a boo. There’s nowhere to hide on these mean streets of the internet!

I actually cannot hide my happiness despite our culture of hiding ‘good things’. The tradition of don’t let people know, or the wizards of the village might come after you doesn’t work for me. Don’t flaunt your good news in people’s faces I’ve been told. But if I feel it is my prerogative to post whatever I like on my own PERSONAL page, just as it is your prerogative to unfriend or unfollow me – if my happiness is a canker worm to the bitterness in your soul.
My joy radiates from within and it is who I am. Being truly myself in a world where everyone is trying to turn you into someone else is more important than living my life in anticipation of other people’s ignorance, stupidity and prejudice. I cannot control it so it is the least of my worries. I have friends who ask ‘what if you break up?’ So what, If I do ? Heartbreaks are as common as chipped nail paint. Who hasn’t had one? Was I happy? Yes, I was. That’s all that matters.

The problem isn’t with the person sharing their life, the problem is with you who have negative views about someone who’s relationship broke up after they have shared it on social media. I will never understand how someone else’s hiccup in life will make the quality of your own life better. It speaks more about your character than mine. Don’t get too caught up in other people’s stories. Don’t be overly concerned with what people think because people will think whatever they want to think regardless. And I’m okay with that; because in the grand scheme of things those are usually the people that matter the least. You can keep your relationship private without keeping it a secret.
Live your life on your own terms.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

I wear many hats !! Creative Director @AsakeOge, Tutor, Storyteller, Stylist, Content Writer TV/Online/Print & Entrepreneur. Food, Vodka & Red Wine lover, Travel ethusiast, Eternal optimist, Die hard romantic waiting for my horseman in shinning Agbada ! Instagram: @asake @asakeoge

17 Comments

  1. King Bae

    July 19, 2016 at 10:22 pm

    Personally, i like my relationship private… only family and a selected few friends know about us. And i love it that way. It doesn’t mean i am not happy, or i am shy, but i just love that part of my life private. I’ve gone through the whole social media attention from a previous relationship, and i must say, all the cute comments and likes did not validate anything when the relationship went soar.
    To each it’s own… I love bae, and bae loves me too… #my2cents.

    • AceOfSpade

      July 19, 2016 at 10:50 pm

      If I share, good for me! If I don’t…good for me. When did it become a problem to share or not to share. Women sha like wahala sha

  2. Houstonian

    July 19, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    ” Oh some people are private they don’t share their life on social media? But you are happy to share your breakfast, lunch and dinner, your ugly pets, your travels, your work etc.”

    …and how is it your business what we choose to share or withhold from the public eye? This article seems like a baseless rant and subtle shade at whoever may have criticized you. Then you refer to those who are NOT attention-seeking-wh**es as “ignorant, stupid and prejudiced”? If you can’t control your desire for social media validation, why write an article about it.

    Don’t act like you’re either for or against relationship posts on social media because your stance is very clear.

    It’s not always about witches or haters. Some people just don’t share too much!

  3. NaijaPikin

    July 19, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    Maybe the Article should say ” Asake Agoro – Don’t judge me for sharing my relationship on IG”. It seems the writer is just venting about her personal experience.

    Just like you “CHOOSE” to share your life, others “CHOOSE” not to share theirs. what makes your way the better way? People need to realize social media is not reality. So my family knows my boo, my friends I hang out with know my boo, but because a pic of boo and I isn’t on social media our relationship becomes null and void?

    Abeg to each his own. Everyone will share what they are comfortable with. I don’t get the point of this article

    • Cindy

      July 20, 2016 at 1:56 am

      I think her point is “don’t judge me for sharing”….. I’m not a big sharer either but I don’t judge or mock those who choose to share. If we’re being honest, a lot of people have this #imtoocoolforsocialmedia attitude and look down from their noses at those who don’t share their views. BNers are very guilty of this. For those attacking the writer, I’m sure she touched a nerve.

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      July 20, 2016 at 8:40 am

      Nne I truly live for people that share and over share on social media. The kind of entertainment it provides for me cannot be imagined..Looool! I am personally not a sharer but I always encourage people to share for selfish reasons tho. To provide entertainment for me. Imagine coming up on fbk and seeing only inspirational quotes bikonu? How dry will that be? Loool! Or opening instagram and not seeing all these pix on fleek aka vacay pix, boo/bae pix, pre-wedding photos ( my personal delight), traditional wedding pix ( my gosh!). Please my people I encourage you all to share away. What will all these social media be like if y’all dont share the tiny, minute, intimate details of your live for we strangers to analyze during lunch? For me I am all for other people sharing..ahahahhahahaha

  4. Sophia

    July 19, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    “If my happiness is a canker worm to the bitterness of your soul” Really? You’re the one who sounds bitter here boo.

  5. Babygeh

    July 19, 2016 at 11:22 pm

    The article doesn’t shame anyone. People shame others a lot for posting their relationships on social media and the writer is just standing up for those who are shamed shikena! If they want to post let them post, unfollow if you don’t like, if you don’t want to post then don’t post simple.

  6. Spunky

    July 19, 2016 at 11:30 pm

    Na this one we one debate today? This your article be like amoeba (no shape).

  7. charming chick

    July 19, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    There are no set rules for making a choice when it comes to social media. It depends on how the individual feels. I struggled with the writer on the message she tried to pass across but I didn’t see it. It’s your account, it’s your handle. You can do whatever pleases you. She didn’t need to give a reason why she will post her relationship on SM. Whatever rocks her boat.

  8. Me

    July 20, 2016 at 1:25 am

    Stupid article written by a shallow minded individual who has probably never being stung by the wicked realities of this life…..shame on you, even DJ cuppy is smarter than you.

    • Cindy

      July 20, 2016 at 1:57 am

      Really?

    • jhennique

      July 20, 2016 at 7:36 am

      Okay now this must be on a personal level. #WalksAwayFromProblemPeople

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      July 20, 2016 at 8:41 am

      hian! o ginikwa( what is it)? Allow the girl na. Sharing her opinion. If you dont want to share your choice. How does that make her shallow? odiegwu

  9. jhennique

    July 20, 2016 at 7:32 am

    Okay now this must be on a personal level. #WalksAwayFromProblemPeople

  10. Kay

    July 20, 2016 at 10:08 am

    Umm so why don’t you mention Yagazie whom you are subbing?

  11. Jamce

    July 21, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    Insecurity searching for validation

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