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Asake Agoro: What Are Married Women Not telling Single Women About Spiritual Background Checks?

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Asake AgoroIt was a few nights ago I caught up with my newly married friend Teni (Not real name) and another about to be married friend, Deola.

We were seated at Rhapsodies, Lekki, waiting for other girlfriends to join us. Her marriage anniversary is this December and she was full of great news about how amazing marriage was and how she was having a great time. I was immensely happy for her.

After the initial chit chat and we had settled into a companionable silence sipping our Long Islands and nodding our heads to French Montana’s “Unforgettable”.

Teni let out a small sigh and asked,

“Asake, how far now?”

My heart sank. I knew exactly what she meant and this was a conversation I had no interest in indulging.

“With what babe? I don tell you every nah!”

“No,” She replies leaning forward and grabbing my arm. “I mean getting married! You need to do something!”

“Huhn? I’m supposed to jump at any Tom, Dick or Harry that comes my way?”

“I’ve seen you Asake! You have Toms, Dicks, Harrys, Emekas, Kolas, Yusufs name it! You need to pick one and decide!”

“Ehen! You know them all! Why don’t we put all their names in a basket and pick one right now?”

“Stop it! ” She replied earnestly, “You’re so annoying when you get so flippant! I’m serious!”

Now I’m getting mildly irritated. “Babe listen. I’m happy for you and all but please don’t become one of those annoying newly married women that turn into marriage counselors”

“Listen !” Her grip on my arm tightened. “I have someone for you to meet.”

Now I’m curious, “Really? Is he a zaddy ?”

“No!” She replies impatiently. “All the ones you’re collecting in your phone what are you doing with them? I mean a Man of God. A prayer warrior. He helped me find my husband. He can help you.”

Now I’m confused. “I’m sorry what?”

“See there’s a lot I didn’t tell you about how I met Kunle. It was divine intervention. You know we only met within 3 months and got married shortly after I broke up with Dapo. What I didn’t tell you guys was my cousin gave me the number of this Man of God. I had to go meet him. He prayed for me. Told me so many things…”

“You don’t mean it.” It’s now my turn to lean forward. Elbows on table, chin in hands, eyebrows raised skeptically.

“Yes.” She continued either totally missing my sarcasm or choosing to ignore it. “You think it’s normal for a woman of your status of marriageable age to still be single? Something is wrong! It’s spiritual!”

“Jesu Kristi ” I exclaimed. “I’m possessed! I knew it! ” I clasped my hands on my breasts in an exaggerated manner shaking my head from side to side in fake despair.

“Asake! Stop it! Take this seriously! There was a block over my glory. Once I did what the man of God asked. It was like magic. A miracle happened.

A lot of these married women won’t tell you that is what they did. Trust me a lot of them have been to Alfas or Pastors before they got their marriage breakthrough. If not for my cousin I would still be single and miserable today. Now I’m about to have my one year anniversary. My cousin has been married for 5 years now. It was this same man who helped her. Sade her sister same thing.

Asake this is real. Even your friend Bukky (Not real name) did the same thing. Have you ever wondered how someone like Bukky could find such an amazing man ? This is what women are doing now. Trust me.”

I turned to Deola who had been silent all these while. “Is this true? You went to a pastor?”

Deola gave Teni a side eye and shrugged noncommittally. “My mum took me to a pastor. No biggie”

My mouth is wide open at this point. Are these women for real?

“OK so what did the man of God do for you?”

Teni answered, “I know you think it’s rubbish but just try it. What have you got to lose? You will have to pray and fast for a few days and some names will come to you. You will give them to him and he will pray and fast on the mountain.
Before the prayer is over you will get an I unmistakable sign. And you will know who the right person is.”

At this point I’ve had enough and I change the topic.

I actually forgot that conversation till this morning when Teni’s message comes in.
“Asake I have spoken to Woli Abraham about you. This is his number 080xxccciii . Call him he is expecting your call”

So this is how you married women have been finding husband and you did not tell us?
Wickedness in high places!

Share the numbers of the Wolis and Alfas and Pastors you went to before you got married.

I wear many hats !! Creative Director @AsakeOge, Tutor, Storyteller, Stylist, Content Writer TV/Online/Print & Entrepreneur. Food, Vodka & Red Wine lover, Travel ethusiast, Eternal optimist, Die hard romantic waiting for my horseman in shinning Agbada ! Instagram: @asake @asakeoge

47 Comments

  1. komeno

    December 18, 2017 at 3:55 am

    I could marry u oh

    • Authentic Sunshine

      December 18, 2017 at 1:39 pm

      I could marry both of you. It’s so true ohhh. You won’t believe what people are doing these days to get married…..

    • mujer

      December 18, 2017 at 3:20 pm

      Story seems prematurely ended and not exactly aligned with title. Nevertheless, here is my two cents worth of advice to the unmarried. It is better to be unmarried than to walk into hell called marriage. There is only one way to find a husband – one that God has pointed out to you, not one you figured out carnally or by consulting an unknown medium. To hear this message from God, you have to be ready, ie, you have to be a believer and you have a relationship with God. You have to accept his decision. No pastor, alfa or whatever will give you names that you cannot obtain on your own. MOreover, what guarantees do you have that the “pastor” is not consulting demonic media for names for you? What guarantees do you have that you will not become beholden to some warped demon because it assured your marriage. Also, the first few years of marriage dont tell you about the next couple of years. I was happy for 7 years until my inlaws literally made my husband their ATM. Our future now became a thought second only to their satisfaction. Be very careful!!

  2. Amaka

    December 18, 2017 at 5:39 am

    Is this real or fiction? I’m interested in meeting the pastor o..

    • ME

      December 18, 2017 at 5:50 am

      As in….. me to oh. Oya married women on BN start dropping numbers

  3. Late bloomer

    December 18, 2017 at 5:54 am

    Please share the phone number there’s no husband in this abroad village fa

  4. John

    December 18, 2017 at 8:29 am

    Have you ever wondered how someone like Bukky could find such an amazing man ? This is what women are doing now. Trust me.”
    …………….

    That part got me laughing…
    but To be fair, the women seem truly happy with the pastor’s choice. Abeg, share the pastor’s number here..I know many will pretend but will secretly call him….please do, you will helping lot of miserable online feminists here.

  5. Damilola

    December 18, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Love love this!
    Seriously, though the pressure to marry is ridiculous. Your dad introduces you to his friend , friend opens mouth and says when are we coming to collect bride price. What is that? Our society has based a woman’ worth on her ability to marry and keep said marriage. Its utter rubbish. Marriage is a part of our woman’s life, if you marry good, if you dont, its not the end of the world.

    • CrazyWorld

      December 18, 2017 at 9:43 am

      Pray tell what he should ask. Where do you work now? When are you graduating…you’ve been in school for over 5 years? What drink is your favorite? How tasking is your new position at work? What kind of poison would you give to a cheating bf? What make up are you wearing? Is it MAC or Mary Kay?

      You are in a social gathering and you could have a boyfriend and be engaged already for all he knows. Your response would determine how the conversation go. If you tell him you just got a new job and you are learning from the experience, he can ask about the job or something but women always want men to steer convo and steer it exactly as they want. Is he a mind reader to know?

  6. stacy_kema

    December 18, 2017 at 9:38 am

    Pls share the n0. I need to call that pastor. 2018 is not going to be year for jokers

  7. Blackbeauty

    December 18, 2017 at 9:39 am

    And a lot of us also, met and married good men without visiting any alfas or pastors.
    Just be careful where you go in the name of prayers lest you get more than you asked for.
    Marriage is not a do or die affair Biko.

  8. gbaskelebo

    December 18, 2017 at 9:42 am

    There was never a time that it stopped at the third dimension, yes! it has never been completely 3D! , it has never been about what can be seen, modeled or touched and what is visible or concrete or physical there has always been a 4th dimension and it always seem useless, ridiculous and bull-crap when you hear its requirements, but a word of caution to our desperate single ladies, there are a lot of sham out there posing as real be guided! what do I know? unto second base things joor
    As an aside please to the relevant authorities
    1. CBN: We have too many mutilated currency in circulation the lower denomination of the naira notes is worst affected especially #100 & #200, there should be a mop up of these notes and an injection of clean crisp new notes.
    2 LAGOS STATE: The environment is gradually sliding back to Pre-Fashola days, lagos is becoming dirty! relevant agencies in charge should take note.
    3. GIGM (God is good motors) : You guys are good at “packaging” your services sucks! please make sure your buses are road worthy, yes the Lagos -Abuja route is somehow we know, but we cant have six stop point to service one part of the vehicle or the other, I wont even talk about your prices that are exorbitantly high, stop packaging nonsense for us!

    • Ify

      January 2, 2018 at 10:14 am

      I know this is random. But I thought I was the only one that noticed the fact that Lagos is gradually disappearing under filth not seen since pre-Fashola days. I knew that I wasn’t mad.

  9. bea

    December 18, 2017 at 10:31 am

    ….but seriously most married women did this. You will be surprised. Sad part is that they will never tell you except they genuinely love and/or trust you.

    I had a best friend in my younger days that we used to hate vision things together because we were redeemed people and I was really naive.

    The yeye girl will tell me she has one pastor who counsels her at iyana ipaja but never told me he saw vision or they did praying and fasting together.

    Shortly after she met this good boy with a good stable job and that one could barely wait 3 months before proposing, fast fast they marry and life was really jolly for her. We were all happy for her.

    Mumu me later found out she was going to see a CAC pastor and I know CAC pastor that you travel all the way from festac to see regularly at Iyana Ipaja most definitely does more than counseling.

    The painful part is that I had serious issues at the time and she used to behalf like she really cared but she never told me or invited me to this man of God or even mentioned he could help then let me even decide whether I want to join her or not.

    Even after my discovery, She was still forming, I hate vision, prophesy, special prayer but she did not stop going to see this iyana ipaja man of God o. Thank God me sef I later discovered places I could pray effectively unlike all these “sarcadelic” penticostal churches where we just go to form. Now because of my experience, I try to put people aright when i see them in trouble. I say, for for MFM deliverance, if you have any praying church around you that is fervent in prayer go there. You will not believe how many big and very seemingly settled people you find in all these places.

    I really pity the CAC, Cele and C&S or any Orthodox churches where they see vision and pray well because I later grew up to observe that people will go there and be taking testimony but will not share it there. They will return to redeemed and winners on Sunday forming a gave seed or I keyed into what daddy said.

    They will never mention then I sneaked into MFM camp or one prayer meeting with those words. Be wise my sisterens

    • Ever Green

      December 22, 2017 at 11:07 am

      I love your comment ojare na pure truth, people love forming after they collected their miracles from these places and be forming…

  10. Loki

    December 18, 2017 at 10:36 am

    This was frigging hilarious! Particularly because it’s hella true. One of the quickest ways to make money in this country is to become a marriage deliverance minister. Not sure I believe in most of it; but as long as people have faith in it and its results, who am I to knock on “divine connection” I think is what they call it in pentecostal churches?

  11. Ani

    December 18, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    Abeg share the number biko

  12. Cocoa

    December 18, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    All I will say is FOCUS your attention on developing an intimate and TRUE RELATIONSHIP with God. Not because it will bring your husband faster but because YOU NEED HIM. He MADE YOU and you can never know the TRUTH ABOUT LIFE without Him.

    Thinking of marriage when you dont even know God is like a 2 month old baby thinking about University.

    Clueless.

  13. Dr.N

    December 18, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    Those phone pastors don’t come cheap O
    A lady I knew who was on a salary of N50k paid someone N40k to go to the mountain for her.
    Probably cheaper to pray for yourself
    ???

  14. Bee

    December 18, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    lol this is funny. Anyway in my own opinion, life is actually deeper than we think, not saying pray and some names will show no. When you have some men on the list and not sure of which to go for, u can ask someone to pray about it for you, yes we can all pray but no doubt God gave some people more spiritual gifts than others(its even in the bible) and you can get guided not negleting the person in ?? behaviour.
    Dont say alfa chose wale but you know he doesnt treat you right. OYO, truely many people wont tell you but you also have to be sensible and not get carried away. Paying someone 40k out of your 50k is serious but may God not let us see trouble (outside the getting married ish tho) that will make us run helter skelter looking for people to pray for us.

    • Cocoa

      December 18, 2017 at 4:00 pm

      The fact that the person has a LIST is already a concern to me.

      God is not a God of mini mini mani mo….if you have MULTIPLE prospects…you have not been LISTENING to Him in the first place.

      So STEP 1: PAUSE and pick up the BIBLE.

    • Ajala & Foodie

      December 18, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      Why are we so obsessed with marriage in our culture? I am genuinely curious. I have met none Nigerians who desire to be married but we seem to be extreme with it in our society. Every religious Nigerian gathering I have witnessed of recent there is ALWAYS without fail a prayer said for the singles in regards to marriage. I can tell you how many WhatsApp and other social media groups there are selling people on difft formulas on how to either catch a partner or be a good spouse. Other people desire it and pray for it and sometimes God answers but our own is on another level. Why? It is Woli, baba, alagba. We are religious yet fetish when it comes to issues like this. The same goes for the desire for kids. Then many women and men get married or have the kids and they still miserable or even go into deeper depression because this thing they have focused on became a god and now

      @ Bee, where in your Bible did you read that God gave some people MORE gifts than others? Really asking, maybe we never reach there for our church. I know the Bible says we have DIFFERENT gifts (and prayer ain’t one of them) but not more. Nevertheless, like I said maybe “we never reach there for our church”

  15. Sexy O

    December 18, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Some have it easy while some have to pray and fast till they get married. A little spiritual assistance will not hurt. BN post the number. 2018 loading….?

  16. Mama

    December 18, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    I really hope y’all are joking by asking for the phone number, otherwise it is very scary to think women actually give out names for special prayers so as to get married. No wonder lots of non Nigerians think we are all fetish. I used to put it down to them watching too much nollywood, but just reading some of these comments, it is a scary something. How would you feel if you found out that the man you married sought ‘spiritual assistance’ to draw out your name from a hat, so to speak? May God protect my brothers from psychics and seers!

    • Dry

      December 18, 2017 at 7:06 pm

      Loool like a harry porter sorting hat….gryfindoor ?

  17. The real dee

    December 18, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    Wow. This is very interesting. I thought since Jesus died and the veil in the temple tore, we now have direct access to God. Do you realize you can pray to God to reveal secrets to you about your marital decision and He’ll tell you? You don’t even have to be super spiritual(like a Pastor) for this to happen, you just have to be born again and committed to your relationship with God and genuinely desire to follow His will.

    If you meet the Pastor, or Woli and he gives you a name, you get married and start having marital problems will Pastor or Woli live with you and your husband? You’ll run back to him/her again to go to the mountain and pray abi?

    Do you just want to get married to bear Mrs, or you want to be happily married.? Someone can celebrate 20 years wedding anniversary, but the 20 years has been one of cheating, emotional blackmail and pain, yet they are celebrating anniversary, anniversary of endurance.

    Yes, some people have spiritual problems and it may be necessary to undergo deliverance, e.g inability to marry is due to having a spirit husband (I.e incubus demon is laying claim to you as it’s wife, so it’s preventing earthly marriage). This demon has sexual intercourse with you spiritually, and runs a family with you in the spiritual realm. Usually, you can tell if this is the case through your dream, so pay attention to your dream. Watch Mount Zion’s Captive of the Mighty or a Yoruba movie titled Olu Odo featuring Odunlade Adekola, to understand the operation of this demon. If you realize you need Deliverance, let the Holy Spirit lead you to a Godly deliverance ministry. ( If you’re not deep spiritually, you can’t understand this paragraph, but just google incubus and succubus, and educate yourself please).

    Finally be your own Prophet o’ it’s better you receive your answer from God yourself and then go to a Pastor to confirm, and confirmation is not compulsory if you are 100% convinced, lest you be deceived/confused.

  18. Tessa Doghor

    December 18, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    Get to know God for yourself.
    Read your dusty bible. Choose the right man for you, you will be happy for all the time invested in developing and praying for yourself.

    If you let someone else choose for you, you will be dependent on them for the rest of your life. No human being can bear the weight of being your personal god, apart from the fact that God is jealous over you, your worship belongs to Him alone.

    Marriage is a huge decision. As much as you seek counsel from good role models, be an active decision maker in who you commit to doing life with.

  19. Deb

    December 18, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    Marriage gan gan is what determines someones destiny so yes you must go and pray (celestial church is good for spiritual discerment) but there are too many fake prophets/pastors. Before you go to a prophet know people that patronise him or worship at yhe church and also pray hard on your own so the spirit of GOD can direct you. Marriage is a destiny changer for both good and bad. If any one is charging you for money like dem 40k they are just chopping it

    • Cocoa

      December 18, 2017 at 8:30 pm

      “Celestial church is good for spiritual discernment”

      ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

      No. The HOLY SPIRIT has been made available for that. NO CHURCH has monopoly on SPIRITUAL DISCERNMENT.

      Please, consider this.

  20. Baymax

    December 18, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Haba! Nobody is posting numbers, abi?

    Some people are not consulting pastors o! Some have gone to babalawo and co with the picture or name of the man they want and have succeeded in getting him.

    Some have used charms to get their man. I know true story of someone who did that. Used charm to trap an oil & gas guy. Her mother helped her to renew the charm every year. When mama died, babe didn’t know where to go to renew the charm. Na so charm clear of the guy eyes o! Babe had to confess. Dude kicked her out although they have kids. Last i heard, he refused to take her back.

    So ladies, STOP BEING DESPERATE.

    • Loki

      December 18, 2017 at 6:31 pm

      Aunty should have gotten name, address, email, Instagram and Snapchat handle of the babalawo before mama died. She did not try for herself.

  21. omomo

    December 18, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    hmm…comments here make me to know that a lot of ladies do grammar outwardly but within want the same things like everyone else and one of these things is to settle with a good man and have kids..but the gra gra movement prevents them from admitting what is a natural hearts desire….

    • slice

      December 19, 2017 at 12:03 am

      Ladies on this blog have always admitted that. Heck that’s what all the tapping into marriage post is about. Y’all just choose to insist successful women say they don’t want a man. Bullshit

  22. U know me

    December 18, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    My comment could be coming late but if I could help just one person that’s enough. I spent over a million going to Alfas and pastors looking for a man to marry . I’m not old I’m noy ugly I just perceived I was going to ttc cos my mum did so I wanted to atleast have age by my side but guess what I eventually got married, still ttced infact my marriage is barely a year and I’m leaving before the week runs out. What I have gone through in few months some people have not seen it in years . I have no money to my name, I’m emotionally and physically abused on a daily basis. You all wish me luck to leave cos I’m confined and finding my way out to leave is a big struggle.

    • mama ovie

      December 18, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      sorry i wish you well in your future endeavour just trust God and always talk to him always he listens trust me

    • slice

      December 19, 2017 at 12:04 am

      So sorry

  23. Cocoa

    December 18, 2017 at 8:42 pm

    Thank you for still taking the time out to share your story as a warning to others.

    God has not forgotten nor abandoned you. I will keep you in my prayers my dear. It is well with your soul. Remember: 1Peter 5:7, Philippians 4:6, Proverbs 3:5-6

    Be safe. Be encouraged. God bless you!

  24. tatz

    December 18, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    I remember a friend in my university days, who is celetial member. she wrote down the names of all her boyfriends and took it church. They told her, this one will marry two wives, this one will have a child out of wedlock, this one’s star and your yours don’t fit. fam she broke up with all of them ooo?

  25. Ada

    December 19, 2017 at 1:59 am

    I LOVE YOU. GOD BLESS YOU. AWESOME COMMENT.

  26. Nengi

    December 19, 2017 at 10:17 am

    Good morning Fam, This is a bit related though not entirely. Theres this guy who recently has been very serious about us starting something. He’s great and has shown by all indications that he wants us to be official and most likely settle down. Hes Bini while I’m Ibo. I have never envisioned myself marrying from Edo state. The last person whom I tried to date was Ibo, albeit the ended up ghosting me. No calls, texts, messages nothing. After that experience I have become so numb to feelings. The main reason why I’m dragging feet as regards dating him is because personally inter tribal has never really been my thing. Please do I wait some more till I find someone who is Ibo? NB: His parents are late. People in inter tribal unions, how are you working things out? Or is this all in my mind? Help a sister!

  27. Nito

    December 19, 2017 at 11:18 am

    So sorry about what is happening to you. I hope and pray things get better for you. I noticed from your write up that you are afraid, you shouldn’t let fear control your life and decision, don’t expect and anticipate bad things to happen to you. Stay positive and trust God even when you are afraid. God will see you through.

  28. Shola

    December 19, 2017 at 7:16 pm

    But Yomi you need to settle down for real.

    • Sholas friend

      December 20, 2017 at 8:46 pm

      As in she should just shut up and get married already. Getting uglier and fat by the minute.

  29. Audrey

    December 20, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Husbands are not only important to Nigerian women but to women the world over. It is a curse just like childbirth, the sorrow and toil of labour for the man etc
    This is the evidence Genesis 3: 16 b …And thy desire shall be of thy husband and he shall rule over thee. So it doesn’t matter how successful and accomplished a woman is her greatest desire is to find a man to rule over her, any type of man.

    Now unto, spiritual man finding and checks lol . There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Prophets and Apostles were given to us by God to guide us. Jeremiah 3: 15 – And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.

    The caveat however is that you must be born again yourself. Have a relationship with Christ and have the Holy Spirit in you. Otherwise, you are headed for disaster. Before the prophet tells you anything especially about the man you are to marry, if you are prayerful the spirit would have hinted you. In case you don’t have foreknowledge ask the Lord to confirm his word. Want to be triple sure? 1 Corinthians 14: 19 – Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said. But be very sure that you have a discerning spirit oh

  30. Anon

    December 21, 2017 at 10:26 am

    Okay y’all, I dont usaully post or respond to anything online with that been said lol let me let y’all in on a little secret… its a scam!!! Pastor this pastor na scam my people dont dull it. I am for real so back when I use to live in Nigeria damn way back, I dated this dude and we broke up. I prayed fasted and saw two pastors and they told me to give it time that he would come back and that he was my husband. I even gave them names of other potential suitors haha looking back now am laughing so hard. They came up with the bullocks that suitor A is better than suitor B based on the qualities they both had, which I could have figured out myself if only I allowed myself to use the brain God gave me lol my point is you dont have to be a genius to tell right from wrong.Fast forward to 2017 omg this guys are now married to different women not me, and to top it all am actually dating the guy of my dreams and nope I didnt go to a pastor. I just prayed to God for the right time, right moment and the right person. Kept it simple and moved on. So please y’all dont be brainwashed its all a scam. Work on yourself and be the best you can be and the right person would show up. Wait just wait and it will happen dont rush the process. Oh by the way it took me 8years to meet the one lol and yes I was old and gray but totally worth the wait…xoxo

  31. John

    December 23, 2017 at 7:21 pm

    Ohby the way it took me 8years to meet the one loland yes I was old and gray but totally worth the wait…xoxo………..calm down after 8yrs you are still in dating stage..the way you wrote I thought by the end of ur comment , you wll be a married mother of 2 by now.

    • "Changing Moniker"

      January 19, 2018 at 11:15 am

      Ahan Mr. John. which kain talk be this?

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