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Charly Boy: Fine Girl No Action

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Charly Boy - August 2014 - BellaNaija.com 02
I was lounging in my sitting room on this lazy Saturday morning when my cousin breezed in with this beautiful damsel, his new girlfriend. After formally introducing her, I couldn’t help but notice her statistics, very impressive I must say.

My cousin is a certified player; only 33yrs old but I swear, e don do pass me. When I was in the world, Kai, did I have my fill of very beautiful women: when men were men, no be now wey we dey go night vigil before we can get a hard-on. Who say old age na good thing.

Yea, I know what you’re thinking….

Men are often thought of as visual creatures. You can’t blame us for being superficial when it’s hardwired into our brains, can you? That’s what we say, at least, as a defense, because most of us are defenseless when faced with an incredibly beautiful woman; but as old solider concerned, I have A1 in holding body, wetin Oyinbo people call discipline.

Back to my cousin, his babe excused herself at some point to use the washroom, as I fired the first shot by congratulating him on a very beautiful catch, come and see heavy complaints, he started telling me all that was wrong with his girl. Haba, they have only dated for just three months! “Uncle Charly, she is only a fine face o, she can’t cook, she can’t f..k, all she’s good for is this kinda comment I get every time and everywhere I go with her but na dat one I go chop? In fact, I’m not sure I will be with her for long”, he murmured bitterly.

What do I say to all of that?

I have learnt from experience that out of the hundreds of very beautiful and pretty women I dated when I was in the world, most of them really were nothing to write home about when it came to ‘bedmatics’. My cousin’s statement therefore was only reaffirming what I have known all along. I know this is a theory many guys would love to argue out with me, but, hey, it’s just my personal opinion. Most pretty faces out there are not great lovers at all.

You see, the world does a great job of constantly reminding pretty, beautiful, fine women how hot they are. Yes, she’s heard it before. She’s probably been hearing it continuously since she was 12 years old and this can have a number of effects on a woman. A particular effect is that she might have an inflated ego, thinking she’s all of that, hence no need for her to make extra effort at being proficient in the bedroom department. So so wrong. She may not realize it until she’s way into a relationship, but there’s no mistaking someone who is totally certain she’s got everyone around her sucking up to her including you.

As a result, some of them become lazy, uninteresting f…k. Yes o.

I also understand that some of them hold back a lot by being inexpressive so that some of us don’t think that they are ashawo’s. For some others, they were raised to feel its loose behaviour and taboo for them to even WANT sex, let alone ENJOY it. It’s no wonder they just lay there.

So ladies, it’s time to find out from your man if you meet all the bedroom requirement, especially if he knows what he is doing too. Even if you’re not a rock star in bed, work it out with your man so you both can find each other’s G-Spot.

Hopefully guys, when you finally get a chick who is a killer in bed, please don’t get stuck like so many other guys do, being haunted by how many people have watered her garden; just kick back and enjoy it and don’t get caught up on wondering how or where she learned the skills from.

And for women, find men who can enjoy sex with you without being intimidated or overwhelmed by a woman who knows what she’s doing.

Sex and sexuality is a serious matter.

It doesn’t matter who chooses to be on top or under, whatever you do, just be on top of your game, make memorable screws, ones that leave your man thoroughly pleasured all the time; no just be fine girl with no action.

Charles Chukwuemeka Oputa aka Charly Boy is a seasoned broadcaster with over thirty years of media, socio-cultural and street experience accrued via ‘the Street University’. He has an outstanding academic background with a diploma from Harvard University, a degree in Suffolk University and a Masters from Emerson University. www.charlyboy.me | Facebook @charlyboy | Instagram @areafada1

35 Comments

  1. Olori

    September 17, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    Did you just say “When you were in the world”?, sorry Sir but you r still in the world. I am in NO WAY judging you but just following up on your own words. When pre-marital sex and your cousin’s “kingship” in “fvcking” numerous women(your words) is hailed as a feat, I dunno what other realm that is. I don’t even know what the point of this article is. Not all beautiful women can cook or “love”? So? *Yawns*

  2. Darius

    September 17, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    Charly, if your cousin wasn’t so proud of his girlfriend and he thought their relationship wouldn’t last, why did he bring her to your house? To demean her I guess! He hasn’t wifed her, but he expects her to be doing wifey duties. Being a scientific player that he is, he just wants to experiment with her before he tries another sample. Would she be fair if she expects your cousin to meet all of her financial needs? Why does he feel it’s fair for her to meet all of his needs(give good loving, great sex and good food)? I’m sure that even if she was extraordinarily good in bed, he would’ve thought of her as too loose. Until he puts a ring on it, tell your cousin to shut the hell up.

  3. C

    September 17, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    Who r this women that don’t scream when they orgasm. I’m sorry if I’m cummin the whole neighborhood go know. Your nephew might be a selfish lover because it’s just impossible if you’re getting it good to not concur. I’ve noticed most “players” think they are really good when the only person they’re playing is themselves. Let him dey the dey wait for cook,maid,and sex feign while giving wack 4play. Sm girls r wood I guess but I just can’t imagine it.

  4. Bodunade

    September 17, 2016 at 9:47 pm

    Uncle Charley, BN feminists won’t like this.

    I totally agree with you. Same experience I have had.

    When I was in the world, the average looking babes were the best in bed. Bibie you showed me pepper. Hahaha

    Of course I’m now a good Christian brother.

    Say No to premarital sex.

    • [email protected]

      September 17, 2016 at 9:52 pm

      Same way average looking brothers are super romantic. Like they trying to make up for something.

      Same way the fine, rich brothers act like douchebags because like the ‘fine girls’ they don’t have to try, they know they got it.

      There are always exceptions to the rules though.

    • nene

      September 17, 2016 at 11:28 pm

      sorry speak for yourself. the worst guys i’ve dated were the most unattractive ones. don’t date players!

  5. UNCLE GWE GWE GWE

    September 17, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    BEST ADVICE: FIND SOMEONE YOU ARE ALMOST IN THE SAME FREQUENCY WHEN IT COMES TO SEX. During the times of our forefathers sex was almost a two minutes affair, Now we have made sex 1-4hrs exercise…..???. I will not come and die bcos of sex mbok.

  6. Laura

    September 17, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    Ha! Chineke. See me o. I thought this was am article to demean another one of Charly boy…sorry Charly man’s attention seeking tactics. Na the picture with his fully made up face so I thought the article was about him. Wetin concern me concern Charly man ‘advice’ column. Chai! We don suffer. Everyone is now one guru or the other. Charly man nye gi advice, gi analu? Jisike Ike. Mtchwww. I’m outta here jare. No I didn’t bother to read the rest of it when I realised what was going on. And please tell Charly somebody that 14years awaits those who are not very sure of what they are, maka makeup di ya n’ihu.

    • Laura

      September 17, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      an* article

  7. 'Diddie

    September 17, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    Is Oga Charly promoting pre-marital sex now?

  8. Anon

    September 17, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    Randy old goat. So that is what you will advice your daughters humm?. Conture your face and practice finding you Gspot to impress a man. How about getting an education and being self sufficient LETTING LOVE FIND YOU. Really disappointed with this advice .

  9. Ijs

    September 17, 2016 at 11:17 pm

    This article just rubs me the wrong way

    • chigurl

      September 18, 2016 at 2:48 pm

      Lol! Are you surprised?

  10. daphne _647

    September 17, 2016 at 11:19 pm

    It is kind of strange when men date girls on a plus/minus basis. Where is love, tolerance and loyalty in relationships.
    For exampke:Simbi is fine but cannot cook, tolu can cook and is fine but she is not godfearing, hauwa is not fine and is good in the bedroom but she is disrespectful. .
    Do you see where I’m going with this? Is that all we’ve reduced our partners to? A game of pros and cons. N.a. wa o

  11. Celeste

    September 18, 2016 at 12:16 am

    Isn’t daddy charly boy too old for such poorly thought out article?

    Would he be giving his unmarried daughter this advice? Oh I get, its okay because the cousin is a guy.

    33 year old cousin should be seriously thinking of settling down, rather than looking for beautiful ladies to get randy with.

  12. Passingby

    September 18, 2016 at 1:23 am

    Bia papa Charlie boy, this is inappropriate for a man with grown up ass daughter like yourself. That girl you sit down DEY gossip about is probably the same age as your own daughter. Anyway maybe you are indirectly advertising your daughters as fine girl plus up for action. Your daughters are going to read this and be proud of their funky old baba. Yuck!

  13. hmnaim

    September 18, 2016 at 1:43 am

    Apart from this cousin, who is probably lame in bed too. I mean he did not even try to work with the girl. tired of judgemental and overcritical idiots. Like, “why are you so entitled?”

    But Yes, they don’t teach girls how be empowered in bed, it may just be as important as cooking perhaps, Lets be open minded about this. I have had this conversations with both modern, traditional guys, good and bad guys…. they want a girl that can please or can work with. Part of being in a relationship is pretty much catering to the other and vice versa.

    Ladies, if you expect a man to be good in bed, so vice versa?? Of course you can improve, if you dare to communicate, have some confidence to ask, and willingness to learn. it does n’t hurt anyone if you are good at it. if the dude judge you for enjoying it, Upgrade your social circle, you probably don’t want to be with judgmental, not bright and narrowed minded person anyways. Everyone has a past, that’s what makes you great and fabulous, If you never been in failed relationship, you either 1 in a mil or not living.

  14. EE

    September 18, 2016 at 2:24 am

    In the larger scheme of things, having beautiful children>>>>>>>>>>>>>mind blowing sex. Procreation is still what we’re about No?

    BTW, this cooking thing is becoming overblown, nobody’s food tastes as good as your own.

  15. Missappleberry

    September 18, 2016 at 3:20 am

    You guys are too serious in this comment section ahn ahn wetin? Here I was rushing to read what people actually think about girls or even guys who are lazy in bed, and you guys have turned it to serious thing. Biko breathe and let’s talk about this thing well. It surely does happen. Will be back for better comments lol

  16. Marian

    September 18, 2016 at 7:00 am

    Lol. Sex is different for everyone. Best sex for christians happens in marriage in my opinion. Never engaged in premarital sex but i’m pretty sure if i had done it before getting married i won”t have been free with my body and would have felt guilty and ashamed which would have affected performance. In marriage there is no shame, guilt and you are down for anything well as long as you are flexible enough for it which i think enhances the whole experience.

    Sex is one of those things that gets better with time and experience. Every female is different. You can’t expect your new gf to respond to the same techniques you used on your old gf. I really think the key to great sex is in the hands of the guy. You gotta oil that baby up and make her squirm yo. Lol. If the sex is bad guys, please check yourself. When in doubt just lick/suck on her ears and work your way down till you find her sensitive spots. It’s almost impossible for you to do things right and hit all the right spot and the gurl won’t respond and the person on top actually matters a lot o!!!! There is no manual that works for everyone.

    • Baby gurl

      September 18, 2016 at 10:06 am

      God bless you for this beautiful comment. My same attitude towards sex.

    • curios

      September 18, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      mmmm dear pastor teaching us about oiling and squirm…ok o????

  17. Pelzin

    September 18, 2016 at 7:11 am

    It’s not mutually exclusive Abeg.
    There are ugly chics who can’t f**k to save their lives!
    Literally sick and tired of people always associating negative attributes to good-looking females. Like Kilode.

    For example whoever coined that phrase “For every pretty girl there’s a guy tired of her” or some nonsense like that was a bitter soul.

    For every ugly girl there’s also a guy tired too and vice-versa gender wise! Ugly and average people are also bad in bed and also have other unflattering attributes.
    I’ve met a guy who was not pleasant to look at one bit and he was the most arrogant and self -conceited person I’ve ever met.

    Stop trying to associate physically blessed people with negative characteristics. It’s never mutually exclusive. It’s always the average and atutupoyoyo folks that do this.

    If she is fine , they assume she can’t cook.
    If he is handsome, they feel he is a lazy player/f**kboy.

    Stop eet.

  18. Tosin

    September 18, 2016 at 8:22 am

    Uncle Charly!

  19. Pelzin

    September 18, 2016 at 8:47 am

    Bella Naija

    Where is my previous comment?
    You guys have used it to fry akata right?

  20. Moniker

    September 18, 2016 at 10:07 am

    It’s funny how this failed man can churn out ides to people. First things first, why is it so hard for him to buy a good net-like tight for the girl in the picture?
    Secondly, I don’t intend to judge but I doubt his sexuality. He’s looking like a grandad of denrele.
    And if this post was from a random tom dick or wasiu, BN would have bounced it. We are tired of all this story. We have passed some of this boosit. If he can’t give a good and godly advise (not overemphasized ‘in the world’ crap) let him stfu.
    I know I have invited haters to my doorstep, bring it on. And BN can as well not post.

  21. Buttercup

    September 18, 2016 at 11:01 am

    Why is everyone sooo serious? BN folks will always turn it to men vs women=men bashing. jeez getting tired of ya’ll. Everyone should be on top of their game in essential depts of relationships.

  22. concerned9a

    September 18, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    Disturbing article…now when she acts like a freak pulling tricks ..he would be the first to complain…damn!!..This gal’s been around! !

  23. Onyie

    September 18, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    I miss BN of old o. Who here can remember the article from Isio on faking orgasms? Now we really had fun with that recalling our experiences. My point is, it was taken with a pinch of salt and we had a fun discussing our different views on the matter. I remember laughing for hours reading the comments on that article. Most people on this blog now would blow a gasket if such a topic is posted here. Sigh, i really miss BN of old.

    Anyhoo, Mr man child, you need to stop stereotyping attractive people joor. You hear things like most beautiful girls are dumb, they can’t cook, can’t hold an intelligent conversation, they are bad in bed etc. and these generalizations are not true at all. People who are less attractive are not automatically the most intelligent girls around or the best cooks. Has your cousin who calls himself a player thought that maybe he’s the one who’s bad in bed? That could be the case you know.

    BN can we have Isio back pleaseeeee? I just reread all her articles again and we need her back urgently abeg.

    • Tutu

      September 18, 2016 at 10:43 pm

      Isio is a sell out! She doesn’t care about us. We gave her our attention, our love, our comments but what did she pay us back with??? A disappering act.

    • Turban girl

      September 19, 2016 at 9:10 am

      @Onyie, you are not alone jare. Those were the days, I would read comments and tear pant, the honest opinions and bants, the love sef. I don’t understand the comment section anymore, like if it is not your cup of tea, move on!
      Charlie Man, ask your guy to ask the girl her honest opinion on his performance in bed. Guys this days think it is just to hump, they forget sex is a process. Like someone up there said, how can you hit all the right spots and she stays unmoved, I don’t understand it

  24. Beckys World Events

    September 19, 2016 at 9:14 am

    Without acting all spiritual, I think Mr. Charly boy needs to have a gud interactive chat with is brother, who at 33 thinks ladies are meant for cooking and sex. A lady at times won’t even give her all sexually, in a GF relationship when she can sense it’s leading nowhere. She does it at times to just satisfy the guy but isn’t giving him her heart. Sex I think isn’t all about the foreplay and theatricals, its first and foremost about how deeply one is in love with your partner. Deep feelings makes for good sex. Say No to premarital sex or pls use a condom

  25. Esther

    September 19, 2016 at 10:04 am

    On the whole of this page as at this time i write, this piece has gathered the highest comments….there are stories on kidnap, bringing the economy out of recession but this piece has the highest comments……smh…..

  26. Spunky

    September 24, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    S0 fine can’t can’t get dirty cos they don’t wanna ruin their make up? Most pretty girls I have had the pleasure to get intimate with (when i was in the world) were very pleasing and down for whatever. I feel you only receive what you dish. Comot play, fine or ugly, if you sabi wetin you dey do, you go get better result. It is reciprocal…and while at it, be a gentle man in all ramification. Don’t coman starve another man’s daughter of care and affection and expect her to give you a world class sexual gratification/satisfaction.

  27. Spunky

    September 24, 2016 at 9:30 pm

    *so fine girls can’t * tufiakwa typo.

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