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Iniobong Umoh: The Other Room

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dreamstime_m_43451844Life as a young married woman has been exhilarating as well as sobering. I have come to love and appreciate my husband, Ukeme. I have seen the many sides of my hubby; the good, the bad and the ugly sides. I have seen Ukeme gotten so angry that I feared he would tear me from limb to limb like a hyena devouring an antelope.

Sitting here in our living room and waiting for him to return from work makes me happy and satisfied. I just can’t wait for him to be back. He would grab me like a pillow, spin me around, peck me and whisper sweet nothings into my ears. He is such a romantic man!

Today has been a hectic day for me. I have been working all day- cleaning the house, scrubbing the floors and tiles, washing the dishes and doing laundry of our dirty clothes. I prefer working like a jackass on Fridays so that my volume of work on Saturday would be reduced. On Saturday, the only thing I would do is to cook two pots of Afang and Atama soups and store them in the refrigerator.

Today, I ventured into The Other Room and cleaned it up.

The Other Room thrills and fills me with awe. Anytime I step into The Other Room I chuckle at Ukeme’s innovative mindset.

The first day, Ukeme brought me into this house to get to know his place, he led me to the small room located at the far end of our two bedroom apartment.

“Baby, come let me show you the other room” He had said as he dragged me to the door. He stood before the door and said; “Open sesame” in a comical tone that elicited laughter from me.

He brought out his key and unlocked the door. We got in. The first thing that struck me was the multi-coloured lighting that came out of the overhead Led bulb, giving the room a rainbow hue. I gazed around the room.

A large flowery patterned window curtains hung at the window. A small bed with two tiny pillows stood at a corner of the room. A white plastic chair stood opposite it. A plasma television hung on the wall. Colourful wallpapers with natural scenery were plastered on the walls of the room. The room looked comfy and warm, like a secret rendezvous hub.

“What’s this room for?” I asked Ukeme.

“Nsikak, this is The Other Room. This is a special place that I have prepared for both of us. I have devised a means of us settling our quarrels and disagreements. So whenever we have a disagreement, both of us would come to this room to resolve it”

“Awwh…this is interesting and romantic. How does it work? Any rules”

“When you are mad at me and want us to settle, just walk to this room and sit on the bed. Our standing rule is that whenever one of us moves into this room, the other partner must follow suit, no matter how angry he or she is! We will stay here and settle the matter amicably. No partner is expected to leave The Other Room without resolving the issue except in the case of an emergency”

“This is an ingenious idea. You think of everything sweetheart, don’t you?” I said to him.

“Thanks dear. After resolving our issues, we could stay here and cuddle each other for a minimum period of one hour before leaving the room” he said with a mischievous wink.

I winked back at him.

Our marriage is now 11 months old, and within this period, we have used The Other Room three times.

The first time was when I asked him to help me out in the kitchen. I was in a foul mood that Wednesday evening and was peeved by his lack of interest in helping out with the chores. He was watching a Manchester united Champions league game. I shouted at him to leave the sitting room and join me in the kitchen. He shouted back at me. He said a lot of hurtful words to me and I retaliated. He said that I am his wife and it is my place to stay in his kitchen. I got so angry that I ran into The Other Room. Five minutes later, he walked in and we spent an hour settling the issue.

The second time was when I suspected that he was having an affair with his secretary at the office. I yelled at him. He was enraged and threatened to beat me up for accusing him falsely. He managed to control his temper and walked into The Other Room. I was bound by the rules and had no choice but to follow him. We made up after two long steamy hours in the room.

I can’t tell you what happened on the third occasion….I feel so ashamed of myself, I almost allowed suspicion destroy my marriage. After that incidence, hubby got me a part time job to occupy my mind.

That was two months ago.

Today I stepped into The Other Room and wished we could do some cuddling in it.

I can hear the sound of Ukeme’s car…he is driving into the compound. Let me play a quick prank on him. I will run to The Other Room and hide there. He would call out my name while searching for me everywhere in this house. He would finally walk in and see me here. I will pretend to be mad at him! I want to see the look of confusion on his face….hehehe…

Please don’t tell him that I am in The Other Room!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

16 Comments

  1. Spunky

    October 23, 2016 at 7:25 am

    Pheewwwww .

  2. Ife

    October 23, 2016 at 8:04 am

    Lovely article. I like your home innovation

    • Iniobong Umoh

      October 24, 2016 at 8:55 pm

      Thanks 🙂

  3. xplorenollywood.com

    October 23, 2016 at 8:43 am

    Nice read.

  4. Bodunade

    October 23, 2016 at 8:45 am

    Imaginative. As corny as corn can be.

  5. AceOfSpades

    October 23, 2016 at 8:52 am

    Trouble dey sleep, yanga wan go wake am! Wetin e dey find?

    If that your other room is true, it won’t last. 11months is fresh.

    2 children later and one is screaming that he wants to eat cornflakes waking up the baby in the process and baby is also screaming and protesting that his brother disturbed his sleep and peace. Let us see how one Mister will run into that ‘the other room’ and see if ordinary fly will follow him inside!

  6. hadiza

    October 23, 2016 at 9:06 am

    He told you that u were his wife and your place is in his kitchen?? that ruined it for me. What kind of ancient thing did u marry?? he has a backward mentality and I pity u. U have made a terrible mistake by marrying that chauvinistic thing. But I don’t pity u, u seem like the typical submissive lazy gold-digging housewife. Anyways, whatever u see, u take it. It was your choice.

    • Kay

      October 23, 2016 at 11:15 am

      Lol I hope you realise that it’s fiction, considering that it was written by by man.

    • Lavraie.

      October 24, 2016 at 5:15 am

      The creature that goes by the names of @A Real Nigerian and @hadiza has less that zero intelligence and reading comprehension. This is always clear in its comments posted on this blog under any name. Its comment on this article is just yet another example of its monumental stupidity and hate-blighted non-vision that it could not see what it blatantly obvious i.e. that the article is fiction, and that it is written by a man. What an utter fool!

  7. Mummybubu

    October 23, 2016 at 10:16 am

    This hadiza sef

  8. Faithful

    October 23, 2016 at 11:01 am

    What a nice write up. While am right here in the middle of making a decision whether to be with the ordinary guy that is always there for me and the other fascinating guy who doesn’t call me but claims to love me. I could do with a good advice from you fellas pls. But pls don’t judge me. Like this other guy is interesting to be with and he attends pentecostal church which I prefer. The first guy is a catholic and I don’t really like the idea being a catholic for the rest of my life but I have to choose between these two guys for now.

  9. Pands

    October 23, 2016 at 11:35 am

    Well I agree with Hadiza a little bit, such ideas are not widely accepted in Nigeria yet so I guess the post sounds normal.
    Anyway forget the buhari like statement. What got me was the little indications that the guy might be violent. “He threatened to beat me up for falsely accusing him” (false accusations don’t really justify physical abuse).
    “I have seen Ukeme gotten so angry that I feared he would tear me from limb to limb like a hyena devouring an antelope.”.
    Erm, does this not raise red flags?in these days of war between people who want the olden days and people who are trying to be free.
    Or was this deliberately added to spark heated debates?

    Oh and in the words of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (but not really) he isn’t supposed to ” help” you. It should be worded has him doing his part of his own duties for your house, not “help”. But observing what hes said so far, I doubt that hed be saying that anytime soon. Its also the least of the issues.

  10. Panda

    October 23, 2016 at 12:03 pm

    I knew it, I and my friend laughed at it for a few minutes because the article just seemed so crazy, read the author info properly and its a satirical writer.

  11. Nero Omoluwa

    October 24, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    Nice. I have actually heard of something like this before but this time around it was two different color of chairs. One white n the other red, in the couples bed room
    The red is for whoever is angry to sit on n vent, while the white is for the other to sit and listen. In a case where both are angry, they take turns with the red chair. Really funny, but it’s been helping the marriage . I have now included this “otherroom” to my marriage plan. Lol

  12. gurl_wendy

    October 24, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    Sweet story!!

  13. Idorenyin

    December 9, 2016 at 10:07 pm

    I love this story…thrilling…

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