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Onimiya Faith: So Now You’ve Been Invited to That Wedding…



dreamstime_m_2980156It’s wedding season all year round, and every weekend, people are tying the knot all over the country. This is the perfect time to remember these rules so you don’t fall victim to any one of these wedding guest crimes.

Bring Your Dancing Shoes
You want to look chic and put together, but you also want to be able to dance the night away with the couple. So make sure that whatever shoes you pair with your outfit are the perfect mix of style and comfort. It’s tempting to buy heels specifically for a special occasion, like a wedding, but never wear your shiny new kicks without breaking them in first. At a wedding, there’s absolutely no escape from your pretty-yet-painful pumps. It would be a real bummer to miss all the dancing because you can’t walk! It will be advisable to bring a pair of dressy sandals with you, if you know you can’t dance for long in the heels of choice for the day.

Confirm You Can Bring a ‘Plus 1’
Unless the invite says ,“and guest”, you should be the only person attending. And no, DON’T call the bride and ask if you can bring a date, either. If it were in their budget, the bride and groom would’ve extended the extra invitation. Trust me, every couple goes through a painstaking process of deciding how many people they can have at their wedding. So if yours is the only name that appears on the envelope, then you are the only one invited, period. If the couple intend for you to bring along a date, the envelope will read “Ms. Jane Doe and Guest.”

No Kids Allowed
Do not carry your kids along with you for the wedding if it’s not expressly stated. It’s a safer choice than carrying your kids just because no objection to the contrary is passed. Some couples might prefer to have an ‘adult-only’ wedding. It’s their choice. It’s their day. If you choose to attend, drop the kids at home with the nanny.

Don’t Wear White
Do not wear a plain white dress for the wedding. This still remains a no-no for any wedding guest. You can afford to play with safe by wearing white paired with another colour, but a plain white dress still remains an absolute abomination at a wedding. You don’t want to be seen as trying to outshine or upstage the bride on her day. Save the white dress for other appropriate occasions. Thank you. Good thing, there is now ‘Aso-Ebi’ for weddings to help wedding guests avoid making this mistake.

No Jeans, Either
Do not wear jeans to a wedding. No matter how cool those jeans look, or how sexy the denim shirt makes you look, denim remains very inappropriate for a wedding. You want to look chic and classy and definitely not trashy.

Keep Your Purse Small
You don’t want to carry that big bag to the wedding. Trust me, carrying a bulky bag can be a major problem for any wedding guest. No matter how effective you think you will be in managing the bag, the better option will be to carry a small purse you can easily move around with. All you need are your cards, cash, wedding invitation and maybe your powder compact to touch up on your makeup during the day.

Put the Revealing Outfits Away
Do not dress too revealing or slutty to a wedding. It’s a big DON’T –  any day anytime. That low cut dress that shows off a little more of your boobs than necessary should be left in your closet when you are deciding on what to wear. The wedding venue is also not a club house. As much as you are trying to be comfortable in whatever you wear, do not wear something too short. Your underwear (bra and panties) should not be noticeable or seen in any wedding outfit of choice.

You’re Not the Bride… Turn Down the Flash
Again, no need to be extra flashy. Let the bride have the attention on her day. It’s not the time or place for that ‘avant-garde’ outfit you have had for a while for lack of occasion to wear it to. Look nice and classy but still try not to wear anything overly dramatic.

Slow Down the Social Media Updates
Our phones, pictures and videos have become common place at weddings by wedding guests but it is highly recommended and advised that you do not post any picture of the bride or groom till they have had their fair share of posting the wedding pictures. Social media has become a part of our everyday lives but put a pause on that Instagram post of the bride till later. You are not the photographer for the day so it’s absolutely not necessary.

Have Fun
Finally, remember to have as much fun as you can. Being wasted is however not the most pleasant thing to do. Be merry and celebrate the couple, but remember at all material time that IT IS THEIR DAY!

Photo Credit: Sophie Davis |

I am a law graduate, freelance writer and a lover of Christ. I am inspired by life, beauty, food and human welfare. Follow me on twitter and Instagram @mimewinifred


  1. Tolz

    October 18, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    Great post. That turn down the flash point is so important. I was once at a wedding where a girl wore a white lace dress! When it’s not her own wedding!

    But why no social media posts though? I thought that the reason why people have wedding hashtags. So that you can post from the wedding using the hashtag for others to see.


    October 18, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Is it only women who attend weddings? Where are the wedding rules for me?

  3. Lady

    October 18, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    Tell them o. You forgot to add the heavy make up crew all those that go for Studio make up for another persons wedding!

  4. mz_danielz

    October 18, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    Nice but I have a question sha, ‘can you really take away the shine from a bride/groom?’ Is their day and nothing can take the shine away.

    I’ve never understood the concept of ‘shinning’ at weddings. Maybe because my Saturday sleep is soo important to me ( I laze around till 4p.m when I freshen up and decide if a date is worth keeping) but if I attend a wedding, it has to be because the bride/groom is very dear to me and I believe I will have a good time – which to me is laughing and dancing with the idea of love all around or else if it’s a wedding I must attend, I breeze in, stay long enough not to be considered rude, drop my present and leave and if it’s a wedding of one these Lagos I juts got backs/popular folks ( my work exposes me to them), I just don’t attend. I cannot loose my Saturday sleep to go and be comparing how ‘on fleek’ I am.

    If attendance at my wedding is based on the weddings I’ve attended, then I will be having it in a secluded location forming small wedding ( because I won’t be expecting a crowd) but marriages are for the family and my dad was a generous man who trained a lot of people soo….

    To cut the long story, let’s stop this talk about people who try the outshine the bride, you can’t cos it’s her day and I think Nigerians are too competitive over nothing. ( I say Nigerians cos I haven’t lived in any other country and short vacations are not enough to know the people).

    • Wow

      October 18, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      You are 100 percent right. You spoke my mind too………..

  5. Yve

    October 19, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    If no dress/ colour code is given I will wear what I like. I will also do any type of make up/ wear any jewelry I want. How can anyone outshine the people being celebrated? Is it a sin to look good now? Why all these insecurities?

  6. Tusman

    October 20, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    I so so agre with you on the issue of posting the couple’s pictures on social media before they do. Some folks don’t like having all their business posted on social media. Some days before my wedding,I changed the settings on my facebook account for this same reason and when I gave birth, I did same . For some people certain things want to be left PRIVATE and for others,they will prefer to announce or post the pictures themselves

  7. kay

    October 25, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    Very well written. These points are easily forgotten or ignored. Well done!

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