Connect with us



Peculiar Okafor: Instagram, How’s a Girl to Stalk?



So I met this guy at a conference not too long ago and he looked like the everyday guy with the native and cap look. Then, I spoke to him and ‘something‘ told me he was the one for me. Now, that ‘something‘ could be the Lord, his impeccable English, his humility despite his striking intelligence, the ease with which he laughed at my jokes, the way his staff seemed to deeply respect and admire him or the fact that he is old money.

I don’t know, but ‘something‘ told me he was the one for me.

I saw him the next day and we smiled, talked for a while, he gave me his complimentary card and moved on and then we spoke on the phone. I was super convinced that this guy was my husband, his telephone voice had me vowing to love and cherish him till death.

Still in love, I spent the entire evening going through his pictures on Instagram and I re-visited every 2 hours until the thought occurred to me that it was now possible to know who has visited your Instagram page. I imagined him getting notifications like this and I started laughing hysterically;

  • Peculiar visited your profile; 6:15 p.m
  • Peculiar visited your profile; 6:30p.m
  • Peculiar visited your profile; 6:45 pm.
  • ……………………..

(Now I do not have this feature but I imagine that’s how the notifications will be.)

I had to stop stalking him on Instagram  to avoid looking like a nut case.

I’ve made up my mind to send him a message on Boxing day and hopefully spark up something, but if anyone has effective stalking techniques, please pass them on.

I’ve never felt the need to think too long about let alone stalk a guy. I believe a man should do the chasing – this isn’t pride but an honest appraisal of myself. I do not think I have the skills and energy for it, but there are times a woman needs to do something, like Ruth in the Bible did to land a big fish. So my BellaNaija brethren, how is a lady to stalk as I’ve already started picking out wedding colours and imagining our children’s names.

Photo Credit: Georgerudy |

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. Lulu

    December 18, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    lol I’ve been stalking a guy I met four years ago on twitter, facebook and instagram. My case is what you call a hopeless one.

  2. Nitomeya

    December 18, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    Go incognito on your browser, use the incognito tab to browse and stalk anonymously. About getting the guy, give him enough encouragement and he should follow up on the chase.

    Ps. Market your selling point and bring something substantial to the relationship.

  3. Wunmi

    December 18, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    I am d number one stalker in dis world.I stalk my ex like my life depends on it.He is married with kids but there’s no day I do not visit his page.My worst fear is mistakenly clicking like on his pictures.I would die I swear.My case is hopeless as well.Sometimes I wonder if he stalks me too.Please if there’s an app to know who visits ur page help pple like us out.I’m a mess when it comes to him.

    • ARS

      December 18, 2016 at 6:23 pm

      Please change your ways oh. Seems a tad too much. Well if you notice its not healthy anymore please stop the online stalking for your own sanity.

    • LEM

      December 18, 2016 at 6:38 pm

      My dear please stop eet o! Your situation is what I call recipe for disaster. I know it’s hard but please you need to get over him even if it means closing all your social media accounts for a while. Even if you find out he also stalks your page how will it help you? Then if your ex has no scruples in the long run it will now turn to love triangle soap opera.

  4. Spunky

    December 18, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    Ain’t nothing wrong with a little flirting to get him to notice you and take it from there.Ensure he’s not seriously involved so you don’t get hurt…except of course you won’t mind. Good luck!

  5. Madman

    December 18, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    Please where are the psychiatrists ? There are mad women here.

    • Haha

      December 18, 2016 at 6:17 pm

      Lol, says the madman.

    • Wunmi

      December 18, 2016 at 6:32 pm

      ???? we know

  6. sola

    December 18, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    emmm instagram has that feature now!!!o lord!!!! I have been checking a guy page for like a week now,am dead

    • Netizen

      December 19, 2016 at 10:46 am

      Walahi! This is bad.

  7. Tosin

    December 18, 2016 at 6:09 pm

    wait! it shows up when i stalk someone on instagram – nooooooo 🙂 😀

    • Haha

      December 18, 2016 at 6:20 pm

      Don’t login with your personal details on instagram and you have nothing to worry about. Hmm Tosin from your comment, it seems you are a chief stalker. Please read madman’s comment and act accordingly.

    • Rose

      December 18, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      It doesn’t, thank God.

  8. Marlvina

    December 18, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    And what if this guy is in a serious relationship? And you’re there stalking and stalking and trying to spark something. You better face your front o. Before you become the third wheel in one’s relationship. Allow him come for you if he’s interested in starting something or better still politely ask him if he’s in a relationship; nothing wrong with that.

  9. el

    December 18, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    aunty calm down. if u read through u wld noticed dat d guy has not asked her out yet,so hw do u xpect her to walk up to him nd ask if hez in a relationship? ???abi u want the guy to think she’s desperate? ???

    • Marlvina

      December 18, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      Are you even reasoning? Or isn’t it too obvious that she’s desperate? Or you prefer her making a move to break a relationship, supposing there’s one? Another Toke-Maje-Anita kinda story? Please it’s better she gets to know this guy really well before making that move to spark something. Okay, what if he’s married with kids? Should all this stalking and lovey-dovey thoughts be necessary? Think!

  10. Missappleberry

    December 18, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    This stalking thing is crazy o! Recently I was stalked by a guy on all social media platforms and it wasn’t funny. It almost drove me crazy. I was scared for my life cos it seemed like he was obsessed with me. I feel like one day I will write an article about it to BN…..and to think I would have married this guy until I found out accidentally he was a psycho. Hmmmm. Thanking God for saving me…..very long story. I really can’t go into detail cos m still kind of scared. U guys won’t understand.

  11. slice

    December 18, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    If he’s that good, give me his info and I’ll call him for you. Stop stalking him. He gave you his card. Just call him. I saw your card in my purse and I decided to call. If he doesn’t take it from there, then he’s just not into you

  12. DB

    December 18, 2016 at 8:46 pm

    Story of my life!

  13. Bellanaijarian

    December 18, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    Bellnaija fans,someone just asked for your opinions/Ideas on an issues.
    People should be creative nah…
    Instead we are laying our own problems,
    If u want solution why not write yours am sure bellas would pay u handsomely…
    Pls my dear Peculiar Okafor,i think u should go with SLICE but if u really like this guy I think u should take this slowly,remember patience is a virtue.
    I will call this in your concept an Art of attraction….No one really will give a nice ideas,i think ur brain should be ur best friend.

  14. ndidi

    December 19, 2016 at 12:01 am

    @poster, this is my little story plus an advice for you .

    in summary ,
    I browse through facebook
    , I see a cute fine guy, I’m a fine girl too
    I add him on facebook.
    I have a secret crush on him.
    I don’t say anything,
    I’m just there on his facebook.
    He asks for my pin, I pretend not to have noticed.
    He asks again, I give him my pin ?
    small talk here and there,
    I hardly initiate conversations and only respond when he does.
    Dude starts flirting with me randomly and i flirt back ( covering my face 🙂 )
    He is happy the attraction is mutual ? (I find it funny because one time he said “can’t be as fine as me” , when I told him I saw someone who resembled him prior to him flirting with me. like why the shakara before ….but now youre happy the attraction is mutual .lol guys sha…)
    We are both playing hard to get.
    Who go first crack?
    what is he thinking ?
    Did i make the first move?
    Does he think i like him?
    I’m not desperate.
    Someone ADVICE me pls.

    Poster , I say message him just to say “Hi” and let him know that he gave you his card. That way he has your number, which places the ball in his court . If you care about him respecting you, let him be the one to initiate while you RESPOND! I say this because you are not the only babe ‘tripping’ for him lol. Who knows, he might see you as ‘different’ from all the other babes. Just keep doing you, keep yourself busy , see other guys and do not wait around for him because trust me hun, there are other fish in the sea. SHINE YOUR EYE.

    As for me, theres the likelihood of Mr cute fine guy in uniform being my ‘boss’ in the near future and i don’t want to ruin that professional relationship by jumping ten steps ahead. I’ve done the whole planning the wedding and kids, stalking his page, having his pic as my wallpaper and the likes. These fantasies are draining.

    @Poster, respect yourself and be patient. Easier said than done but you can do it. If you like, stalk him 1000 times a day but do not contact him . bye girl

    • ijs

      December 19, 2016 at 10:04 am

      Having his pics as your wall paper? my gosh!!! and i thought I could stalk

  15. ndidi

    December 19, 2016 at 12:03 am

    BN commenters, you can advice me too. thanks!

  16. Temi

    December 19, 2016 at 7:41 am

    Same thing I am facing too. I “think” he is the “one”. He shows signs that he likes me but mba he has not asked me out. To call sef na wahala. Will just keep on stalking on IG 🙂

  17. aj

    December 19, 2016 at 8:32 am

    Peculiar is as if I know the guy you are talking about. lol.

  18. Yall stop eet

    December 19, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    Yall won’t stop crushing and liking a guy who is taken.

    When your story becomes Tokes story now you won’t allow us hear word with your unbecoming to becoming to cum and be cumin

    Yall know when a guy is taken but will her trying to get his attention

    I pity you o. Your heart will so drop from Mount kilimanjaro in a twinkle of an eye

    Good luck with the chase, crushing, stalking flirting and all the above comments

  19. Ure

    December 19, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    mehn…I can totally relate. during one of my stalking adventures on Facebook, I mistakenly sent a friend request to a guy who suddenly zoned me off last year. I was so embarrassed that I had to block him completely but I’m sure he had already seen the friend request. #say no to stalking#. mine was just out of curiosity o,not like I want him back. now he’ll be feeling like a boss thinking I still like him. whatever jor

  20. Simsi

    December 20, 2016 at 7:24 am

    Here’s what I do when I have a crush on a guy and I have his number. I’ll call you say hi. It’s not really a big deal. I had a major crush on my present boyfriend. I knew he liked me but he wasn’t making any moves. So I told him I like him and from there he asked me out. We are getting married soon. #seizethebae2017

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      December 20, 2016 at 3:46 pm

      …And that’s whassup!

    • haha

      December 20, 2016 at 4:30 pm

      I like that slogan seizethebae2017 by fire by force lol.

  21. Miss

    December 21, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    I know right, story of my life. Stalking a guy is always the same hopeless cause. This last one is an oyibo i can’t seem to get off my mind. Travelled and met – well maybe not meeting because it was just hi hi – this fine breathtaking caucasian. Each time I saw him at my department I would just freeze and cat would get my tongue and i can’t even say a word. One time he smiled at me and I was just looking, staring and my heart racing. He probably thinks i’m rude by not smiling back but if only he knew. I finally forced myself to start greeting him for the sake of my sanity and the first time I did he replied me smiling. Boy was i captivated by that smile. From there it was just a hi hi relationship, no chance of really talking and getting to know him and vise versa.

    He happened to be a teacher at my school but in a different department so I saw his name from his door and went online. Saw from his facebook that he was single as at two years ago and maybe till now. I have returned to my country now and i regret not working up a conversation those times i ran into him on the hallway. I felt as though our eyes caught and held for some time each time I saw him then. Other times i felt as though he avoided looking my way until i ‘forced’ the greeting on him.

    Perhaps it is hopeless indeed, i mean we are miles apart now and he probably is married or something, more so we are of different races. I feel so helpless. I even contemplated adding him on fb. Someone who doesn’t even know me. SMH. Have my misplaced crushes and subsequent stalking tendencies got this bad? I have experienced this kind of feeling in the past, when i felt a connection, one time even pursuing it to the point of getting his number and calling but nothing happened. He didn’t even follow my lead and i felt silly and desperate. Now i am on this cycle again with an oyibo for that matter.

    I’m supposed to be attractive and have had people tell me so, then why can’t the guys I feel something for reciprocate and come after me? “Sigh”

    Aunty Bella please help a girl!!!!!!

  22. lonelyguy

    December 22, 2016 at 7:38 am

    i need someone to hangout with during this xmas.. see movie and chat

    • chy

      December 27, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      Yeah,,same here.Are you in lagos?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Tangerine Africa

Star Features