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Young Forever: Let Go of Bitterness

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A few days ago, I got back from work and met my little brother crying, the one before him had beaten him. I scolded the older one and even reported him to our parents. The thing is, they had a misunderstanding and it resulted in a fight; of course, the stronger one would win.

A few minutes later, I saw the both of them laughing and talking; I was surprised. These are the same people who just finished fighting. I started feeling like the bad guy. These children had moved on so quickly and the fight put behind them.

That incident struck something in me; children do not keep a record of wrong, despite the fight, they were back to being friends in a matter of minutes. It’s not the same with adults; after a disagreement, we may change, cut the person out, hold a grudge, or even become bitter.

The unfortunate truth is, unforgiveness is sowed by a simple seed of anger. When we let it grow unhindered, it becomes bitterness.

2016 is gradually coming to an end, and I will like to implore each and every one of us to not carry bitterness into the New Year. Nothing stops blessings from your life like unforgiveness and bitterness.

Forgiveness is easier said than done, but it is imperative if we want to live fulfilled, successful, and happy. No one is big enough to occupy your precious heart.

How do you forgive and let of bitterness?

I would share some few tips that have helped me”

  1. Take some time out to heal. It may seem like you’ll never escape the emotions you feel when you’ve been wronged, but time heals all wounds. It’s ok to cry, scream, be angry, just let yourself heal. Take time away from the person if necessary.
  2. Talk to God about it. Humanly speaking forgiveness can be difficult; but with the help of God, forgiveness becomes easy. Ask Him to help you forgive the wrong that was done to you.
  3. Don’t blame yourself or any other person for that matter, for the wrong done to you. As humans, making mistakes is a part of life. That means you shouldn’t be hard on yourself or beat yourself up, learn from the experience and move on.
  4. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re excusing the person for the wrong done, but maturity is learning from it, and taking responsibility for the part you played.
  5. Learn to give people room to make mistakes. No matter how careful you are, people would wrong you, even you will wrong others, so learn to give people room to make mistakes.
  6. Don’t jump to conclusions as to why someone behaved the way they did, put yourself in their position, would you have done the same thing? You may never understand why they did what they did, but it can sometimes help to see things from their eyes. It’s important you never blame yourself for anything—or try to find excuses for them—but taking some time to empathize with your wrongdoer for a moment can make it easier to see the reality of the situation. Remember, we’re all human and we are nowhere near perfect.
  7. It’s important to note that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation, what do I mean? Reconciliation requires both parties working together. Forgiveness is something that is entirely up to you. Although reconciliation may follow forgiveness, it is possible to forgive without re-establishing or continuing the relationship. The person you forgive may be deceased or no longer part of your life. You may also choose not to reconcile, perhaps because you have no reason to believe that a relationship with the other person is healthy for you. Chances are, you’ve lost some of your respect for them, and if you don’t want to be around them, that’s your call. Some friendships may just be toxic and they may keep wronging you; every chance they get.

Let’s imitate the little children; they are trusting, humble and forgiving. I know you’ve been wrong, you’re hurting, and the pain feels like it will never go away, but forgiveness first and foremost is for you. Holding on to bitterness is like walking around with a heavy load of burden.

Please don’t carry that burden into 2017. After reading this, kindly take action, if you have to call to let someone know you’ve forgiven them, please do so, if you’ve wronged someone; please call the person to apologize. We should be mending fences not destroying them.

Compliments of the Season, till next time.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Adejoke was born in Zaria, Kaduna State (which she absolutely has no recollection of) and graduated from the University of Abuja with a BSc in Accounting at Gwagwalada (which she can’t believe she still lives in).She started writing because her life was boring and had no one to talk to, so she thought, why don’t I talk with the whole world?Her blog www.memoirsofagreatlady.com was born after she discovered a passion for writing, and that writing is therapeutic as she now lives a joyful purposeful life.If you visit the blog, its description says, a lifestyle blog created with a purpose to impact and inspire people to live their best life (helping people to have sense) which sums up what she loves to do.When she is not writing, she is baking (she makes the best chocolate cake) or disturbing her sister who she loves to pieces.

14 Comments

  1. Goddey

    December 28, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    I honestly need this right now. But how do you forgive someone that is your blood that keeps taking your name and your child’s name to diff places to do evil to you and your child’s enemy. But because you stand firm in Christ that’s why you are still alive. How do you forgive that kind of person please? Every night na so so bad dreams that I don’t need a prophet to tell me how far I can see it in my dreams but God is with me and my child. How do you forgive these evil people( my mother and ex who is my child’s father plus his parents)

    Someone should tell me how to forgive them please……although I don’t think about them or wish them back I hold on to God only.

    • Olu

      December 28, 2016 at 9:59 pm

      You claim to stand firm in Christ…so…Luke 6:28.

      God bless.

    • Young Forever

      December 28, 2016 at 10:25 pm

      Take it over to God, talk to him about it. His grace is sufficient for you.

    • ME

      December 29, 2016 at 9:31 pm

      Wait oh!!! These people are your perceived enemies because in your dreams you saw them doing things to you????? Oh my goodness. I have absolutely no words for you.

  2. Damilola

    December 28, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    Nice Article….I needed this

    • Young Forever

      December 28, 2016 at 10:26 pm

      I’m happy you find this useful. Thank you.

  3. Ayodeji

    December 28, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    Wow I am feeling this article it’s so down to earth I love the way the writer was real with the issue. Thumbs up keep it up

    • Young Forever

      December 28, 2016 at 10:26 pm

      Thank you so much.

  4. Spunky

    December 28, 2016 at 8:54 pm

    The irony is, when we forgive, we set ourselves free. Like a weight lifted off one’s shoulder, we exhale…and live.

    • Young Forever

      December 28, 2016 at 9:19 pm

      Very true spunky. Thank for commenting.

  5. a-why

    December 29, 2016 at 2:01 am

    Nice one hun, more wisdom n understanding. May u continue to give young n old more hope and insight unto become a better person. Hugs.

  6. Young Forever

    December 29, 2016 at 8:34 am

    Thank you dear.

  7. Iya

    December 29, 2016 at 8:55 am

    Points 4, 5, 6 & 7… very spot on.

  8. evah

    December 30, 2016 at 8:52 am

    I have had to forgive someone who hurt me beyond words even though he was not sorry,didnt care…i had to forgive him for me…i did only by the grace of God (cos i wanted to wipe him off the earth) ….was it hard? extremely..did it free me? yes yes yes .”.oh the joy of seeing him and wanting only to pray for him” no bitterness anymore…..when you give it to God he will give you the strength to forgive even the most grievious hurt.

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