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Uloma Ezirim: What Will be Will Be

Uloma Ezirim

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Ify worked as a branch manager in a very popular bank in the city. At 37 she was single, had no children and lived a very modest life. She spent her time relaxing at home or attending choir practise – she was a devout catholic. Somewhere within her she had just about given up on finding a husband. Every birthday, she would bring in a birthday cake to work and celebrate with her team members who would whisper about her single status. Incidentally most of the team where married. 

Just before her 38th birthday, Ify met this man in church who was an established doctor in the US. He was in the process of opening up a hospital in Lagos as part of his plans to relocate. His father already had a practice and had put pressure on Ike to return home. He stumbled on Ify in church and he was hooked! It is 5 years after marriage, Ify is pregnant for baby number 4 and has taken a leave of absence to focus on family life. Bumped into her recently and she is one happy woman. What will be will be.

***
Remi got married to her childhood sweetheart at the age of 25. She had known Yemi since they were 17 and they both attended University in the same city before they eventually got married. 7 years later and they are still trying for a child. They present a united front, love each other to bits and are working together to undergo IVF. I never met a more united couple. What will be will be.

***
Benardette graduated from the University at age 24 and she got married to her colleague at work. The beatings started almost immediately after the wedding. As is typical of most African marriages not having a child compounded the issue and she was kicked out after 8 unhappy years. Alone, she continued to focus on her career until she met Steven who would be her 2nd husband.
After 3 years of marriage, Steven asked for a divorce as he believed Bernadette could not give him a child. They had tried several treatments but nothing worked. Knowing that Benny as we refer to her, had not had a baby in her first marriage, made him less patient.

Benny is now 43 and alone again. She was thriving in her career, acquired a couple of properties but she was still restless and lonely. She took a leave of absence and came to the UK for a Masters program. At age 46 she met a 44 year old Briton who believed she was the prettiest thing that ever lived. At 44 Bob had never been married and was almost a confirmed bachelor. Benny gave him a new lease on life as she provided that excitement and love he craved. They have both been married for 3 years now and are waxing stronger and stronger. This union is about living out the rest of their lives as lovers and best friends, having children is not the focus. Benny has made peace with the fact that maybe she was never meant to have children. They are happy and I see them strolling hand in hand in the park every now and then. What will be will be.

***
Eloho came from a close knit family of 7. She was an only girl and the last child with 4 brothers. She finished school at 23 and started working immediately afterwards. As she progressed in her career she longed to get married and start a family. Her elder brothers had all moved on to various parts of the globe. It was just her and her old folks. At 30 she decided to rent her own flat for some level of freedom. She went on dates, to church, shows, conferences; wherever there was a gathering Eloho showed up in heels. She was slim, beautiful and brilliant but for whatever reason Eloho was still alone. Eloho gave herself a deadline, she would have a child if after 35 she did not meet anyone.
At 36 alone still, she went ahead and planned for a baby via a donor. 4 years later, Eloho was on a vacation to Disney Land Paris and while on the plane, her beautiful daughter Emily took to another little girl on the plane. Emily’s friend was 4 and had another brother aged 6 and they were travelling in the company of their dad. Dad was divorced, lived in Paris and it was his turn to look after the children and he was on his way back home from the UK. He struck up a conversation with Eloho and they both agreed to hook up at Disney the following day with all the kids. It was a blended family in the making, the wedding is in fact this summer. Wonder if I’ll be invited. What will be will be.

***
All four stories are very true, which is typical of my articles. Let’s hope someone out there is smiling and connecting with these stories. When you get the chance please visit www.diasporachronicles.com for tales like this. Cheers!

Uloma is a School Administration Manager. Her mantra in life is Laughter, Love, Relationships = Happiness. Uloma is very passionate about all things Nigerian and this is reflected in her creative expression. Join our community on www.diasporachronicles.com.

33 Comments

  1. kkay

    March 28, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    Wow! Great piece. Easy read. Very relatable. Lol.
    I always advise people to stay on their lane and keep to their pace. We all have different destinations. Don’t try to be like everyone else. You just might not be fulfilled with that.

  2. Daisy

    March 28, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Such a good read. Life! Don’t compare!

  3. Eii

    March 28, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    Thank you for sharing and reminding me to live in the moment. You just brightened my day. 😀

  4. Lala

    March 28, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    And also for those of us who are post 40, have never been married, don’t have kids and are living happily ever after! What will be will be…?.

  5. Legit

    March 28, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    Dorothy was an only child. She was loved and adored by her parents to a fault. Even though her parents weren’t wealthy, they made sure Dorothy’s needs were met; her father doted on her and pampered her. She was the apple of his eyes; the centre of his universe.

    Dorothy’s parents saw to it that she had the best education money could buy. Dorothy eclipsed and out-performed her classmates. She represented her school in many competitions and won laurels for it. For this, she was offered scholarship. She became a sort of demigod. Her brilliance made her the envy of her peers, but also endeared her to many.

    Dorothy wrote WAEC and emerged the overall best student in West Africa. Many organizations and multinational companies offered her scholarships. Dorothy was bombarded with different juicy offers; All the Universities she had applied, including some ive league colleges in America, offered her admission.

    After some says, counsels sought and deliberations made, she finally accepted a scholarship to study Nuclear Physics abroad, in Havard precisely. She got her visa ready and started making preparations for her travel.

    A week to the day she was to travel, Dorothy was murdered in cold-blood. Fulani herdsmen had invaded her village in the dead of the night on one fateful day and unleashed mayhem. She was raped by a gang of Fulani herdsmen, and her body was dismembered. Her mutilated and half decomposed body was found a week after the attack. A once peaceful village was turned into a theatre of war. The smell of death still pervades the air. Thousands of children have been orphaned, communities have been destroyed, and the hopes of a people have been dashed.

    This attack was not an isolated incident, it had happened a couple of times in other parts of the country; it was premeditated, and our leaders have chosen to turn a blind eye. The two men who dared to speak out against these atrocities are being persecuted. One is being tried for trying to incite violence and the other is being blackmailed by a whore.

    Sometimes, what it is, is not always what is meant to be. Our collective failure to speak for the oppressed and hold our leaders accountable is…………………….. .

    • "changing moniker"

      March 30, 2017 at 4:14 pm

      ohh my!!!!
      Nigeria…

  6. Kiki

    March 28, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    What did the Bible say about the race not being for the swift…….? Lovely stories.

  7. Henrietta

    March 28, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    Lovely article. Keep ’em coming

  8. Khadija

    March 28, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    I hope it’s okay to add one more
    Khadija was lucky, intelligent, gained admission to study Medicine at 17, the ” luckiest” of all peers. Became a young doctor, specialist in her field, seemingly has her career on the fast drive. However, no spouse nor offspring at 32. ALL her peers are married with kids with good careers, nonetheless, she’s a Doctor, and that’s all there is. Waiting for Khadija’s happy ending….. What will be, will be.

    • Zee

      March 29, 2017 at 8:27 am

      She WILL get her happy ending.

    • Uloma Ezirim

      Uloma Ezirim

      March 29, 2017 at 9:15 am

      Precisely Zee and when Khadija gets her happy ending, she must promise to share her story with me lol! Take care both and thank you for reading.

    • Tola

      March 29, 2017 at 9:15 am

      Awww, Zee! So cute!

    • Neerah

      March 29, 2017 at 11:04 am

      You are my daughter’s namesake. …In sha Allah , you will get your happy ending khadijah!!

    • Nikky Remmy

      March 29, 2017 at 11:35 am

      I want to be ur friend.we ve somethings in common.

  9. Cyndi

    March 28, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    What will be, will truly be. Good read!!! Well done sis!! Time and chance happen to everyone. Nothing that you have been through shall be wasted. When bad is getting worst and you ask God, where are you? Hang in there, He is nearer and closer than you can think or imaging. Enjoy and endure the process with a spirit of praise and gratitude, it is to break your arrogance and humble you to the extent that all will know it can only be God!

  10. Akanke

    March 29, 2017 at 12:12 am

    Eloho is my fav. Just funny how u are doing your own thing and love just falls into your hands. If it doesn’t eat pizza and keep doing your thing.. cute

  11. Ab

    March 29, 2017 at 1:18 am

    Wow! Loved it!

  12. Deediani

    March 29, 2017 at 6:03 am

    Amazing. This made my day. Thank you

    • Uloma

      April 4, 2017 at 11:32 pm

      Thank you more Deediani

  13. SS

    March 29, 2017 at 6:51 am

    Well loved it! I pray it works for Remi- Amen

    • Uloma

      April 4, 2017 at 11:25 pm

      Same here. I told her that I will come back t ok tell her story once our baby arrives. We keep praying.

  14. SmashingM

    March 29, 2017 at 10:17 am

    May i also add please: IK, the most intelligent amongst her siblings, modest, disciplined, loves God but at 39 was unmarried with no offspring. At 40, she met a 44yrs old man who has never been married and had lost hope of finding a wife. They got married last year and are expecting an addition to their family.

    That’s my elder sister’s story. What will be will be.

    • Uloma Ezirim

      Uloma Ezirim

      March 29, 2017 at 10:44 am

      Wowza!!!! Ik will deliver safely in Jesus Name. Such brilliant news. Chuffed!

  15. Deni

    March 29, 2017 at 10:18 am

    What will be will be! Lovely

  16. Obi

    March 29, 2017 at 10:55 am

    – This is really nice. Simple yet deep. May we all run our races and come out victorious. Amen.

  17. Obi

    March 29, 2017 at 10:57 am

    – And oh yes, i love your blog.. Moving my fridge, pop corn, duvet and mattress there now..

  18. trey

    March 29, 2017 at 11:58 am

    I still love my bella naija but madam diaspora offers something new and fresh. will move my popcorn too. By the way is that you up there. Such long legs.

  19. adelegirl

    March 29, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    Thoroughly enjoyed this piece. What will be will be indeed. Reminds me of “Everything good will come”. One of my favourite phrases since reading Sefi Atta’s novel of the same title.

  20. Nonye

    March 29, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    hmmmm……….What will be will be!

  21. Braxie

    April 2, 2017 at 6:40 am

    Wow. So poignant. So common in society yet many may still not see that there is no ‘normal’ except your own for yourself. Let our fulfillment come from our divine destinies and may we express grace to encourage and not to judge.

    Keep writing, Sis. You have a gift of perception and expression.

    • Uloma

      April 4, 2017 at 11:30 pm

      Thank you Braxie. I am encouraged cos of people like you. Take care.

  22. yummymummy

    April 4, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    hmmmmmmmmmm! i hope my what will be will be o! cos m getting frustrated ooo.

    • Uloma

      April 4, 2017 at 11:28 pm

      Please don’t be yummy mama. Squint and be still. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me it will all work out. Be frustrated but don’t give up please. Trust me.Bless you plenty.

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