Akpo Uyeh: She Is out of Your League

The concept of being out of someone’s league is not known to some people. Certain people have an idea of what they want for themselves and stooping lower than such expectations is never a welcome idea.

This brings me to the story of Sheneneh. She buys her designer shoes and clothes, drives a posh car, has two Masters degrees, works in one of the multinational companies where she earns a fat salary and has several investment deals. Sheneneh is not your everyday lady; she is independent, ambitious and single.

The other day in the banking hall, a flier dropped as she tried to take something from her bag. She bent to pick it up, but not before the security man standing in the corner had taken a quick glance at the flier which was for an upcoming programme in a church that he too attended. As Sheneneh left the hall, the security man followed. He caught up with her and the following conversation ensued:

“Do you attend CCA?”

“CCA?” She said quizzically.

“I mean Christ Church Apostolic.”

At this point, she knew she could neither lie nor feign surprise because she was a chorister in the church, so Sheneneh answered in the affirmative. But he didn’t end there. “I also attend CCA. I am in Bible Study unit”, he said. He rambled on about everything for a while to Sheneneh who was present but absent, until he said, “Lemme have your number”

Gossip spread at CCA like fire in harmattan, and Sheneneh knew she definitely didn’t want to ever be the topic of such for not giving a brother her number, so she grudgingly let him have it. After all, she could either block him if he eventually called her or just be friends. The latter was very unlikely because he was obviously out of her league. Even though she was already over 30 with no Mr. Right in the picture, and the pressure to get married hitting hard, Sheneneh was still bent on keeping to her standards.

This scenario is not uncommon; most times, when a lady brings a man that she intends to marry home, the first question her parents would likely ask is what he does for a living. Should he mention an occupation that they do not find good enough, he just might never get their blessing. Imagine, parents who have invested so much in their daughter’s education allowing her settle for a man that is way below what they deem fit.

I know people say Rome was not built in a day, and I’ve heard stories of people who went from grass to grace over time and with the right spouse by their side. I also know that women at a certain age, are advised to stop being choosy and realise that ‘man na man’ and there are more women than men, so men are scarce. While I would like to address this extensively another day, I think that there is actually such a thing as being out of one’s league and it should be okay to stick to yours and want what you want, regardless.

Personally, I do not think this is snobbery, neither is it a crime. It is simply staying in your lane as long as other values are not compromised.

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