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Uru Eke: Have You Considered Inter-Racial Dating?

Uru Eke

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What do you think about Interracial relationships?
I’m of the opinion that we should be open minded and consider dating not just outside your tribe, but outside of your race completely. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with our Nigerian/African men. but with the number of people complaining about being single these days, why don’t you step outside your usual pool?

I understand that cultural differences may be a block with some people, but if you give yourself a chance to interact with someone from a different background you may just open yourself up to the possibility of something new and refreshing.

I’m glad to see a lot of intercultural marriages taking place as well. If you are an ardent reader of BellaNaija you’ll be familiar with the pre-wedding shoot posts of couples with different cultural backgrounds.

I think love is color blind, and we should see past the complexion of each other’s skin. The world has evolved a great deal and it is no longer peculiar territory to walk into or been seen with someone who comes from a different ethnicity.

At my mom’s house over the weekend, we had family around and I was talking about some of my friends- some of whom are bi-racial. Then one person said he did not understand why people of different races got married and if a white person walked into our midst at that very moment how awkward it would be as we were all black speaking in igbo(broken igbo, if you ask me).

Why would it be awkward for him? because the person was white? I totally understand if the individual was meeting the family for the first time and didn’t know anyone, but if it’s someone who was familiar with everyone and got on well with us why it would be awkward? Besides we would simply switch to speaking English so whoever it was could join in the banter. He said he just finds interracial relationships/marriages irritating plain and simple. I tried to get him to elaborate and it seemed “irritating” was just how he felt and that’s it.

I don’t know if that’s how my African sisters feel, but I definitely don’t share that outlook. To me race is a social construct; God has created all things, including the color of our skin. (According to the Bible). We all come from the first man and woman, Adam and Eve.

Also, in the Christian Bible, the apostle Paul taught the same when he declared that God created all things, that He is the Lord of heaven and Earth, and that He made all nations from one man, Adam. (Acts 17:24-26)
To buttress this, there is only one race – the human race).
Your decision of a partner should be based on a person’s character, and not the color of their skin.

There are substantial increases in the number of individuals engaging in interracial or intercultural marriages. However, even though the number and societal acceptance of interracial marriages is growing, little has been written about these marriages, the reasons for their increase, or their strengths and liabilities. I was reading up on this the other day and I found a few statements and questions people in interracial relationships say they have been asked.

• What do your parents think?
• You must be so brave!
• I’ve got to get me one of those
• Are you the nanny?
• Is the sex different?

I’ve been with non-Africans and the common question I get asked is the size of their package. (*covers-face*) Just know this, I wasn’t dissapointed. A friend of mine complained one time of not finding a man in Nigeria and I gave this same advice. Look beyond nigerian men, heck look beyond black men. She was very hesitant, especially because she’s a woman of a certain age with children. I pushed and talked and talked till I ran out of anything else persuasive to say. Anyway, she eventually agreed and we signed up on a dating site, before I knew what was going on, she was on a date almost everyday. It was hilarious! She had discovered a new world. Guess what? She’s married today to a non-Nigerian.

I’m not saying there are any guarantees that you’ll find your knight in shining armour by dating interracially, because the truth is people are people, no matter the color.

At least, give it a shot. You never know where you’ll find love.

17 Comments

  1. Eniola

    October 5, 2017 at 9:48 am

    i totally agree with you,.but it hardly works,. i tried to find me a man on a dating site,. and i ended up so so disappointed,..people take dating site as runs site,.

  2. Chic

    October 5, 2017 at 10:01 am

    I do consider it.. What matters to me is the person.

  3. Ebyek

    October 5, 2017 at 10:31 am

    On point Sisi.

  4. Jay

    October 5, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    Good piece! However, the ‘culture’ of financially responsible for your girlfriend’s needs may pose a constraint. It’s no secret that this privilege enjoyed by Nigerian ladies here do not apply in Europe and America. Will romance expressed as flowers, trips, concerts, etc be appreciated by our naija girls because it is not in form of liquid cash/phone airtime/car/house rent?

    • Lola

      October 5, 2017 at 7:27 pm

      Lol! I doubt that Jay.

    • momo

      October 5, 2017 at 7:46 pm

      yes jay has said it all..thats why most of us stick with our african men

  5. Me

    October 5, 2017 at 8:15 pm

    Abeg we are too different jareeeeh!!!

  6. john

    October 5, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    As a black man..I truly support interracial dating more than even inter-tribal dating….I would love to see more black men with white woman , asians ,latinos etc( even from that country oshomole’s wife came from, Eritrea or what, even mixed chicks will do( kinda desperate))…I would love to see black women with white men( it will be kinda relief too)..I truly hope so ..I have said it here before that I truly believe that if u remove all black women and put white women in Nigeria..Nigeria would be a better place in just one generation.

    • artklub

      October 5, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      Awon self hater! I hope your Mama is not black. Shame on you! You want Nigerian women to leave Nigeria? No – you leave and don’t forget to breed yourself out cuz you are too week of a Black person so your genes will not be missed honey. You certainly think you are some sort of prize but you are not and only low self esteem White women would consider you anyway, no one likes a self hater, gerrout!

  7. john

    October 5, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    @artklub.. calm ur titties down ..This my comment pain u well..I hope u didn’t broke the screen of phone in anger while typing..look on the bright side , I am even hoping that u black women will leave Nigeria and go to Europe or abroad ( whatever) and live with white men( I even taught u will be happy) ..What is wrong with that..women are so weird and confused…okay, if u want black men to leave Nigeria and goto Europe or even asia or whatever to live with white women..I would love that option as well ….HAPPY

    • john

      October 5, 2017 at 10:38 pm

      Thought!!

    • artklub

      October 6, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Will u keep Quiet! You sound crazy! U Talking serious TRASH! Since nobody raised you let me tell you what to do!

  8. john

    October 5, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    only low self esteem White women would consider you anyway,……….believe me…I would take any white woman over the so called most beautiful black woman anyday any time without blinking

  9. Clarke

    October 6, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    I do believe that more Black Women need to consider opening up their options. Eventually we would see more Black Women with men of other ethnicities. It is something the universe would make provisions for. The Black Male has a natural and almost irresistible inclination to fight against his female counterpart…..yet he wonders why he is loathed around the world and why his continent is not as advanced as Europe or Asia….lol. Black man: You are the only man in the world that thinks he can fight against the image of his own mother and prosper..such an inferior form of a human…lol

    Its more than just wanting to date women of other races. Even Black males who have no interest in women of other races have this inclination. There is something at the core of black masculinity that is deeply screwed and there is definitely something inherently flawed with the dynamic between the black male and the black woman. Black males and Black women despite being male and female counterparts of the same race have diametrically opposing views of the world….and more than half the time, the Black Male is acting as an adversarial force to diminish, the Black woman’s femininity.

    This explains the overwhelming dysfunction and pathologies in Black Relationships…also a significant proportion of Black marriages are a sacrifice on the woman’s part. In this part of the world, a black woman is safer around a white man that has no romantic interest in her, than a black man that does…thats how inherently predatory black males are. The energy of a predator, a liar and an abuser runs very deep. Sad and Sickening…but true..

  10. Annette

    October 6, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    *consider

  11. Annette

    October 8, 2017 at 2:06 am

    Bella Naija, this is Annette. I am writing to ask why you refused to post my comment. Yesterday, I posted a comment on this article about interracial dating, and I noticed that you did not post my comments? Why? What were you trying to hide? Instead, you only posted the correction to the typographical error I made to the spelling of ‘consider’, so as to deceive people into thinking that I was in support of interracial dating, when I was only trying to inform people of the dangers and risks of venturing into it.
    I know I cannot force you to post my comments, but I will not let you use a mere correction to a typo I made to deceive people. Kindly take down my comment of *consider, as I only posted that comment to correct a spelling error, and NOT to support interracial dating. Thank you.

  12. JK

    October 15, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    Hmm! Life is full of options. Certain uncommon factors determine what we get out of every choice we make in this life. There is no society that is an el Dorado! “Cross courting” may not be the answer rather than the adoption of true sense of commitment and responsibility in relationships! The number of single patents in the west at the moment is quite alarming – a sign something is also going wrong somewhere there. From my observation, majority of African women who opt for European men do so in the belief for a better social and economic status. Also, European ladies hardly wish to settle with just anyhow African man. My opinion: whether man or woman, European or African when you need a life companion, look for love and knowledge (education – if you are educated). Never you get entangled with an uncomplimentary pair. It never worrrrks. Adios!!!

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