There is the general assumption that Nigerian men are not romantic, and they are most times only interested in the physical attraction to the female based on her anatomy, so much that they hardly take the time to study or get to know her. But most men will beg to differ. While they agree that the physical attraction plays a role, they however believe that other factors such as her personality, charisma, and more are also important. This suggests that there are certain other things they notice about these women that (in their eyes) set the women apart as adorable and irresistible. These are also the things that curate these men’s preference when it comes to picking a life partner.
Seeing as all men are different, we decided to ask a number of men to share with us some of these things they considered adorable in a woman. From intelligence to confidence, kindness and a great sense of humor, here’s what we found out:
Confidence and Intelligence
Apparently, most guys would prefer a woman with confidence, who believes in herself, can make first moves and stand her ground to a timid or weak woman. Nonso, one of the guys we interviewed, said: “From little things like paying for stuff when you hang out, to bigger things like buying properties or a girl asking you out on a date…anything that requires confidence and a sense of self -worth to pull off. I find it sexy” He went further narrate that “a friend once said jokingly that she was mad tired and had no dinner, which meant she would have to cook. So, she said something like ‘this cooking thing is a drag… I think I need a boyfriend’. I thought it was hilarious and super attractive’.
Also, the way the way a woman carries herself around a guy or the way they talk to him confidently plays a big part in how much awe he eventually has for her. Dapo, another interviewee, mentioned particularly that “I find a girl adorable when she is smart, bold and can hold a conversation. Don’t agree to everything I say, tell me your own thoughts; don’t wait for me to kiss you, kiss me first; don’t wait for me to ask you on a date, tell me where to be and when; show me you have a mind of you own and I’m all yours really”
The issue of intelligence came in with the comment by Moses: “Intellectual capacity turns me on. An ambitious and a feminist woman”.
A girl who respects herself and is independent is top choice as well. “Someone who’s financially independent and doesn’t see me as a job or her father’s replacement” were the exact words Joe used in the interview. He went on to narrate: “I went to the cinema with a Russian girl back in the UK. And she insisted on paying for her ticket. We argued for a bit and then I won and paid. On our way home, it was cold, so I gave her my jacket and walked her home, we kissed and I took back my jacket. Walking to my house she called me and asked me to check my breast pocket. She has put back £10 and her ticket was only £7. At that moment Cupid shot me through the heart” were Onome‘s words.
KC added his 2 cents, narrating an experience as well: “Sometime last year, I hit a lady’s car from behind because I was fiddling with my phone while driving. As I hit the lady, I left a slight dent on her rear bumper. whilst I expected her to be confrontational she walked out, looked at her bumper and with a smile she said: “I bet u were texting?” And when I tried to apologise, she interrupted and said “it’s ok to get bumped into every once in a while”. I swear, if I had my way I would have grabbed her face and kissed her in that instance. This was a lady who respected herself enough to know that an honest mistake wasn’t worth a fight on the highway”
Sense of humour and playful
“ There is nothing like a girl who get your jokes and genuinely laughs at them” was Bode’s submission. Men typically love it when a woman has a sense of humour, is fun, playful, and sexy. When you reveal a childish streak in you, maybe by throwing a tantrum, yelling or screaming excitedly for the smallest of things; you give random hugs, or can let your inner-dorkiness out rather than be self-conscious or serious 100% of the time. Tobi reminisced on moment with an ex: “My ex had a way of curling her entire body up on me that I found adorable. Then she also had this silly dance she would do, even though she clearly couldn’t dance to save her life. It was playful. It was super cute. I miss it.”
Ife also added: “When a girl is playful, it kind of pulls at the strings of my heart. Maybe when she is willing to play video games with you, or pinches and tickles you out of the blues, puts her leg on your lap or even on your shoulder when you are cuddling. Also when they feel they can do things on their own and they have to tiptoe to get things from the top of the shelf. I find all that adorable. Any man would. But then again, I have a preference for petite women, I don’t know if this will look cute with tall girls”
Genuine interest and empathy
Genuine empathy and empathy seemed to be the winner as most of the guys hinted at it. First, was Tobi: “I adore a woman that shows genuine interest in what I do. She doesn’t need to be a raging fan, but checking out my work and thinking about it to the point of giving me genuine advice will burst my brain. Why? it makes me know that she doesn’t just love me, she is after my being better. That’s a keeper! Then I will adore a woman that likes me enough to ask me to stop spending unnecessarily on her. Or give me suggestions on how better to spend my money so I don’t waste it. Why? It gives me the assurance that she isn’t after what I can give her but loves me for me. I also adore a woman that doesn’t rub it in if I mess up. Like there are times I could go wrong. And she sees my mess, but doesn’t start the “I told you so” sermon. But just gives me a pat or a rub and reassures me that it’s not the end of the world and that all will be fine. Do I even need to say why? Peace of mind, baby.”
Then Deji: “Women aren’t really ‘adorable’. Puppies are. Women can be sweet when they’re two steps ahead of you on your own case and they help you make smart decisions; when they randomly pray for you and you find out later; when they’re older and they treat you with more respect than their younger counterparts; (wife) when they know you’re stressed and they do googly eyes and ask if you want them to go down on you; and when they remotely know football, the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, comics and MKBHD.”
Danny also said : “Women are a lot more in touch with their emotions,although, an argument can be made that society has shaped men to portray less emotions. When you see mothers all over the animal kingdom, you see care and empathy, and even with our own species, women are more empathic and understand and I really adore that. When I was a corper, I stayed in a fellowship lodge before going to my PPA, and there was a night I was down with an illness, all my roommates were concerned about was if I was going to eat my food or not, so that they would take it. But mama (vice president of the lodge) came checking on me, told me she would keep food for me, went out to look for medicine for me, and I was really taken by that. I really adored her until she passed out. I don’t know if that’s a girl thing or just her own thing, but that was really adorable.”
And Michael summed it all up: “Sincere thoughtfulness. Just show genuine kindness o jare… like when no one is watching, and you know there are no “accolades”, you show kindness to someone who needs it. I find it’s disappearing hence its weight in gold for me”.
Asking for help
While men like women who can stand on their own, they seem to also like women who know when to ask for help. Perhaps it is appealing to some men as it tends to stroke their ego, and asking a guy for help intuitively makes him feel manlier (damsel in distress syndrome) but according to Ifeanyi: “When a woman makes a demand of a man even when she knows he is incapable of delivering, that engineers a certain belief in the man that his woman sees the God-nature in him. Humans believe God has the ability to do anything; the very belief every child has in his father/mother. So, when our women don’t hold back but ask us to provide the impossible, that feeling of strong belief in us from our women is a very adorable thing women don’t know men have. Men only pretend not to like it when women make those impossible demands. We adore women who make those demands even though we’re unable to provide. It makes us feel like God and we adore our women for this. I don’t know if I’ve explained myself properly. We don’t adore women who don’t make those demands even though we won’t be able to provide and may not even provide if we are capable. Not demanding takes our shine away.”
Caring and compassionate
Most women would refrain from cooking and cleaning up after a man in this age, but some men seem to see such actions as the woman being caring and compassionate…and that is something they find strongly attractive in a woman. “Women seem to understand love better as they are always on this effortless quest to please their men. They go out of their way to do nice things such as cooking, they delve into your life to find where they can help make your life easier such as cleaning your room, washing your clothes etc and these as I see it is adorable. Although it may seem little or insignificant to some people, I find that delightful. In fact, yesterday was a prime example. A lady that is a friend and I haven’t seen for a while, called to find out what time I would be breaking my fast, as it is the Ramadan season. I informed her that it begins today. To my surprise, she had planned to get a restaurant to deliver food for me to eat, when I break the fasting. They delivered the healthy meal to me and I did justice to it. I have to admit, it was a wonderful surprise and I was chuffed” said Lesley.
Moses agreed with his comment: “I adore women who effortlessly shows compassion even when it’s a huge sacrifice for them. For example, a female friend organized a surprise birthday visit to my grandma. She knew how much my grandma means to me. It was adorable.”
Edem, however, threw light on another angle: “I once told a female friend I was going to a beach where someone got drowned the previous week. She knew I couldn’t swim so she called me to ask that I shouldn’t go closer to the water. While I was on the beach, she called me on three different occasions just to be sure I wasn’t swimming. I thought that was so cute 😊. She almost behaved like my mum… 😀. One other thing I find adorable is when a girl watches football with me and is able to discuss the game with me. I find it even more adorable when they seem to know everything about my favourite player or team.
Which of these comments do you agree with? What do you find adorable in women?
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