Temi Olajide: The Reality of Parenting Failures

Nothing beats the sheer joy that comes with being a new parent, especially that point you hear your baby cry. Finally… you’re here. Becoming a parent is an exciting chapter of your new life and the fulfillment that comes with it is immeasurable.

Parenting comes with a lot of work – physical, financial, emotional… you name it. It can be easily managed when you are privy to the secrets of others who have or are going through the same situation as yourself.

That said, there’s no particular way to parent a child – just as there’s no single way to write. But there are terrible ways to do both and it will be helpful to have a basic understanding of the process before you begin, in order to improve your performance.

What parents fail to understand is that they are not only parenting a child’s physical being, but they are also responsible for the child’s unique emotion, spirit, mind, and soul. In fact, there’s no way you can manage this huge responsibility, especially in this technological age, without the right knowledge as well as the grace and mercy of God.

I strongly believe that it is possible to, not just avoid failure as a parent, but also raise well-rounded children – even in this day and age.

As a parent, here are some parenting failures you can avoid:

Not Spending Quality Time With Your Children

One of the sad realities of parenting in this day and age is that many parents work round the clock. Unfortunately, this can be bad for young families. Your parents probably worked round the clock and were able to manage it. However, making time for your children is non-negotiable in this day and age.

The reality: Many kids end up abused in one way or the other because they are left unsupervised. Many kids are unable to confide in their parents. This has led to unfortunate events that could have been completely avoidable.

Mind The Reward System

It is natural to buy toys, gifts and everything your kids fancy to make them happy and feel loved. The flip side is that some parents may go overboard. These kinds of parents believe that it is the only way to show love or to reward their kids. So they continue to give gifts even when it is uncalled for. This may cause kids to become entitled and unappreciative.

The reality: They grow up into adults who may become entitled and expect rewards for doing next to nothing.

Raising Your Kids the Same Way You Were Raised

For some reason, many parents believe that they can raise their kids the exact way they were raised and get the same result. Even if your parents did an amazing job raising you and your siblings, remember that that was, at least, 20-something years ago.

Everything has completely changed and we now live in a digital era. The way your kids see things right now is completely different from how you viewed things at their age. If everything in the world has changed, it only makes sense to change the way we parent – for the better.

Staying stuck in the parenting ways of the past may not only drive a wedge between you and your children (because you may not truly understand them) but may also lead to an unpleasant ending.

My advice: Arm yourself with the required knowledge to ensure that you don’t end up as a statistic of bad parents.

There are also some helpful parenting tips that can help reduce parenting failures

• Lead by example; kids learn a lot by watching your actions.
• Set rules, boundaries, and consequences for actions that your kids must follow.
• Spend quality time with your kids and be approachable.
• Acknowledge that times have changed and arm yourself with the required knowledge (books, coaching classes, professional help – where necessary) to help you raise well-rounded kids.

Finally, what parents need to get right is time. Even if you have made mistakes, acknowledge it, get professional help if necessary and know that it is never too late to right your wrong.