Laetitia Mugerwa: Letters From Loneliness

Speak loneliness, your friend is listening. Speak, for it is vital to be heard more than ever. Forever apart, so it feels between us. Today I find peace in our prodigal acquaintanceship. Can I hear from you once again? I read all the letters you wrote while I was far away. My sincere apologies that I never found the time to write back to you. The world around me never stopped revolving. Today is an odd day – everyone to himself. We can neither walk without a mask on our faces nor freely breathe. Perhaps, the only way out for me is back to you.

Did you hear the world shutting down? Trains no longer move, bus stations are closed, and the planes no longer fly. Cities disowned. Life is slowly crawling out again. I saw a crested crane in the woods the other night. I also watched on the news of how boars, donkeys, and other animals were returning to the cities. It reminded me of one of the letters you wrote about the beginning of the earth. Yes, the seven days letter. I read that letter over and over again. How you and Adam were the best of friends. He loved you like you even had flesh and bone. You two never left each other, like the garden dresser and his tools.  You painted my imagination on how one river parted into four heads in Eden, how its waters made the gold, onyx stones, flower. You cherished every beast of field and fowl of the air, as your own. The truth of your existence named everything that was beautiful in Adam’s sight. So beautiful that words can’t measure the depth of my imagination.

The part of the letter I failed to understand is how you and Adam fell apart. For the Lord said, “it is not good for man to be alone”. Was it that bad? Were both of you happier apart? Maybe it wasn’t good, but only for a while.  Adam should have talked to him. How terrible it was that he chose silence over you. He broke your heart, oh, loneliness. I could see your fear. Your walls came crumbling down. The bridge you built across the rivers of his heart started burning. Your glory was fading in his sleep. You called on him, and he couldn’t even recognize you. Everything changed since then. We, the offspring, neither care nor even know you. We hate you for all the wrong reasons.

Here I come that we may reason together. Will I ever find a place in your heart again? I know you for more than a friend, you are a revenant of true companionship. With you, I found meaning and purpose. You have given me joy for my morning, as only you can. I miss your embrace. Now that I am here, please heal the scars of my selfishness and rebuild the wounds of pride. Help me find my lost pleasure like it was in the beginning with Adam. Aid my way that I may find the courage to rise above the waves of sadness and swim in the sea of joy. Heal the world, oh loneliness.

You have always been here. You are watching over us in our busy lives. Now that there is nothing to keep me busy, all I have is you to cherish. Make friends with tomorrow and promise to stay as long as you can. For overtime, I see work, friends, family return. Every man to himself, desk, farm, building, and phone. Breath on me now, so I can live. Spread your wings so we can fly. Shine your light to all men. Shine brighter than the sun or the diamonds in the sky. Teach me your ways that I may learn patience.

A new beginning has come. I see you beyond the snuffle of silence. With few words, and countless imaginations do I see you for who you are, a friend not a foe. Alone with you again, dear loneliness. The world is changing again. Make the old anew and stay home for more than a night. Now it is good for man to be alone. Of course to run away from Coronavirus, the very traumatizing new normal.

Yours sincerely,

Laetitia.