The Other Side of Living Alone

One afternoon, I was stepping out of the bathroom when my phone dinged – a notification. As I was about to reach the phone, I almost slipped but I steadied myself with the wall. It was a message from my friend, Abiodun.

“Guy. My life flashed before me this morning. I slipped when I was inside the bathroom. First sat for like a minute to think about my life,” his message read. I asked how he was doing and he confirmed he was okay. He was even out to cover a story. My friend lives far up north, in Sokoto, risking his life to cover stories of people displaced by militants and Boko Haram insurgents. Although he schooled there and loved living there, he initially wanted to stay away from that part of the world to live in the southwest, where there are fewer conflict stories. But when he got his job, he had no other choice.

Some months ago, we promised to introduce each other’s family members in case an emergency occurred. I have never met his father or anyone from his family, but he’s met my elder brother and we hope to strengthen that whenever he comes around. We both live alone, far from each other, and have both read stories of people dying because they live alone and how dangerous it could be for our health. So we wanted our families to know how to reach either of us in case anything happens.

The glass from my friend’s bathroom

“I just sat there. What if the glass had pierced a sensitive place on his body?” He asked. He has a jacuzzi in his bathroom and as he slipped, two of the glass covers were removed. He said he didn’t know how he managed to hold them. He sent me a photo.

A lot of young people, myself included, believe that the best choice to make as an adult is to live alone, far away from familial distractions. It not only offers us the luxury of being independent but also teaches us how to be there for ourselves, come what may. I can’t deny it, living alone is very advantageous because you get to arrange your place how you want, show up for yourself and decide when to do the dishes or not. You also meet your unfinished meal wherever and however you left it. A common joke among the majority of Nigerians is how living alone affords them the luxury of walking around naked in their houses. That’s true, even though I hate doing that. But these luxuries can simply be wiped off when you slip in the bathroom and you have no one around to call for help. There’s a lot that could go wrong in a minute.

Some years ago, a man from another city I can’t remember now came to visit his mother in my hometown. On the second night of his visit, he developed seizures in the middle of the night and was rushed to the hospital by his mother. Where he came from, he was living alone and we could hear his mother begging him when he became conscious to come back home to avoid a future occurrence. She kept saying, what if there was no one around to help you? Do you want to kill me? When do you intend to marry? You alone in that big house, sha don’t kill me. 

It was one of the stories that replayed in my head when I decided to live alone. If the glass in my friend’s bathroom had slit any delicate part of his body, he wouldn’t even be chanced to text me. People have died from living alone with no one around when there’s an environmental or health catastrophe. It is often advised that we learn how to grow individually, but we can’t dispute the fact that we need people for emotional support.

I believe everyone should live alone for some time during their lifetime as it exposes you to life’s realities and helps you realise that you have to stand up for yourself, or else you wreck. But I also think we should always have people close to us, could be our neighbours or people in the area. Everyone should have someone to call on when in need of help, be it physically or emotionally. In essence, stay alone, but don’t live alone.

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