Dear Agbani Darego, Will You Be My Valentine? Read Rap Star M.I’s Sweet “Love Letter” to the Former Miss World
Posted on Friday, February 8th, 2013 at 8:22 PMBy BellaNaija.com
From www.miabaga.com
My Dearest Agbani Darego,
Will you be my valentine?
Do give this the utmost consideration. If you will be my valentine, let me say that I am, first, of all men most privileged, and second, about to engage in heavy research about what being someone’s valentine actually entails.
If you will not be my valentine, I must assume this is only because you would prefer me to ask you to marry me. If so, poste haste and with rapidity in extremis, I would, My Sweetling, desire your hand- and as much of the rest of you as possible -in blissful matrimony.
But wait. I traverse ahead of myself. I have not introduced myself. Sure I have spent many hours ogling over your Instagram photos and following you closely on Twitter, but I have never, as it were, had the opportunity of introducing myself.
I am The Editor.
Ah, My Lollipop, I can see your sad smile now. You are shaking your head, wondering if I am just another one of those men struck by your beauty and effortless grace.
Yes, it is true I am one of those men, but if I might add, I am even more awestruck by your beauty. There is no hope for me.
Marry me, My Cupcake.
Consider the advantages. I have discussed them below.
My Fondant, If you marry me, you will be fully protected in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. I have watched Walking Dead (Seasons 1 and 2), and every zombie movie there is. I know how to finish them off (destroy the brain), how to stay alive (Run like hell) and how not to get slowed down by unnecessary hangers on. (I know so much, I am in fact publishing a simple handbook on this very subject called“Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse” available in stores shortly. You will of course, get a free signed copy.)
Secondly, the possibility exists that with your incredibly beautiful genes, and my deeply rooted interests in you, our offspring could be the very first of the race of super intelligent and super powerful humans. I can see it now: Junior finds the cure for cancer. His sister brings about world peace. You and I will bask in parental pride, secure in the knowledge that our union has benefited the world immensely. As I said, the possibility exists.
Thirdly, You will never have to worry about me going off to be an astronaut or being called off on some secret government mission to topple some enemy regime. I won’t even join the Bolivian Army. I suppose these are some of the first things you worry about when you a potential suitor approaches. Rest your lovely head at ease, My Peppermint stick, I will do none of these things.
Have you seen Les Miserables yet? I’m only asking because I haven’t and everyone is going on and on about it.
My Sweetest Sugarplum, I know we have a lot to figure out, but let us ignore the little details of whether you love me or whether you want to get married at all or whether you will be able to stand me. You must believe me when I say those are minor details.
Say you will be my valentine, that is all I ask.
And if you cannot grant that, grant me your personage in marriage.
And if that proves impossible, could I please have your phone number, house address and your word that you will never ever ever take out a restraining order against me?
Thank you, My Strawberry Tart.
Yours Infinitely,
The Editor
*******
We are loving the wordplay and the sentiment but M.I should please stop #washing us! We spotted him at Agbani’s birthday soiree with a special guest so…
One thing is for sure, M.I loves tall women!
Photo Credit: Jide Alakija via OnoBello.com
Tags: Agbani Darego, M.I
sweet
short people always dream big
lmao… was thinking the same thing..
Lmao
lmfaooooo
U guys don’t fit jo..the Height difference is just too much
Buh u can be his Val
awwwwwwww….so sweet. I wish a guy will do the same for me
I like..
awwww…..
teary-eyed me
i love love that composition
Loll so cute
that is oh so sweet!!…but BN you are right it resembles #washing true true….
be it as it may, I am not one given to poems…but this is really sweet and cute!!!
I love it!! sweet and sassy.
Chai MI,it izzzz well!but seriously love the fact that u can write so well. If Agbani no gree,pls I am here,but we are the same heig*wink*
Sweet composition
lol..i love mi…this is one random letter..had me rolling..Lmao at “have you watched les miserables yet?
dude is great writer. i would buy a book
Love the word play. Best Valentine proposition yet
Wish sm1 could compose a poem for me to fall in love
Lmao
Well are you a female or male? lol
Love it! Lol
man this is the reason i would marry m.i anyday, just to be blessed with such poems
wow
I hav a big stupid. Smile on now
Mr. Incredible. Your wordplay is simply off da chart.
MI dream on!!
MI THE SHORTY,NICE ONE.AGBANI MIGTH CONSIDER AFTER ALL WE NO SEE ANY MAN WITH HER SO FAR. MY OPINION.
Lol….choi M.I,Agbani Darego is way 2 tall 4 u tho!….*shrugs*nwaiz dat wz a gud valentine proposition
Sweet nothings!
So many things are minor…you for example, very minor in height
Like joke, like joke oh!
Aawww…romantic. I hope she gives him a chance…you never know.
lol, awesome
Ahahahahahahahaha!!! I’m laughing my freaking head off, MI is a cheeky so-and-so.
“I am in fact publishing a simple handbook on this very subject called“Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse” available in stores shortly. You will of course, get a free signed copy.” Yes, that’s exactly what every gal wants from her fella
“You will never have to worry about me going off to be an astronaut or being called off on some secret government mission to topple some enemy regime. I won’t even join the Bolivian Army. I suppose these are some of the first things you worry about when you a potential suitor approaches.” that one had me in stitches.
Using endearments fashioned after confectionery was a nice touch. I don’t think his intention was to be sweet, I think he meant it to be quite tongue in cheek and funny. He’s a good writer, I need to start visiting his blog.
“M.I loves tall women”, before nko, U think the guy is not thinking of his children. hehehe. But this is soo sweet, like sooo sweet
lol…I Love his humor n play on words….#Undisputed Champion
lolz
Plz Agbani darego give him a chance to let u knw hw much he cares plz it’s nt bcuz of anytin behind diz buh A̶̲̥̅♏ Ju$†̥ begging on behave of M I
hmmmmm
Dis is very funny cos it seems like a very funny joke… But nice one there she wud be laughing hard…
LOOOOOOOL!!! MI Oni fe te mehn. genius piece from an ingenious gee. plane-o-insano.
BN,is that the (cutest) pix you could get? Jeeeeez,MI pls don’t disgrace us,you can still find someone who is not as tall as she is,but still fine…I’m as tall as she is,but I hate it,when short guy,dim it fit to toast me…I have no hating on short dude,it just that,it the most ackward feeling ever,when walking with them,it the most uncomfortable feeling ever,you feel isolated…you can’t steal a conversation when walking,nor steal a kiss!
If he has a girlfriend and says all those words to Agbani? Some girls they try sha,celebrities or not!
MI rest joor. Agbani no dey ur level.
M I in ur drm
its kul, gud guy gone bad… He starts the race of finding his ‘soul mate’ its always gud having the likes of Agbani on the hood, the guy dream big
this was so funny! Chai this MI get sweet mouth sha…lol!
the only women for him are ..TALL!! hE Is damn short!
Nice one M.I.
naijainfotainment.com
i dont find any thing wrong with him lovin tall ladies;he is sweet i most say
keep it up
n to u ;he is not dreaming
every short man loves tall ladies….. short men are usually very witty, fun to be around, incredibly intelligent and successful and they always need a tall lady by their side to seal the success….. i’m married to one… loll
Awwww. Loved all of it. Good job, MI! Takes me all the way back to Literature class in senior secondary school. Love the sweet irony. Made me laugh too. The comedic twist is good too. Like if a sister doesn’t say yes to you being her valentine, then it’s marriage she’ll agree to. Lol
“My Fondant, If you marry me, you will be fully protected in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. I have watched Walking Dead (Seasons 1 and 2), and every zombie movie there is”… This part got me rolling!!!
The cutest letter ever, i hope she indulges just a little…
Isn’t that Teju former Dynamix awards winner with him? The babe just finished from Leadcity university. Used to be dark but is veryyyyyy yellow now.
MI all dis yarn na wash! U jst had ur intro with one Benin girl wey u wan marry… I read it on some blogs. Besides u and Agbani na *Word and Opposite (tall , short) abi na(long and brief)
Gosh i laffd my head off! Ds is sooooo funny! Nice word play tho!
Read it on MI’s website, hilarious and sweet!
Mmmm! so touched! (teary eyes) Love the composition, wished my man would do same for me…
am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo in luv wif mi right
MI no go kill me with laughter ooooo.Go pick on your size…lol I recall when i was single and short men used to chase me all over the place. it was quite hilarious. I used to wonder so many short toasters but now i know better as they dont want that offsprings to have to deal with that. I am 6ft and eventually married a hubby 6ft 3inches…. we’re always an item.lol
#Their offsprings & my hubby I meant.
awwwww! Super Sweet!!! Gawsh!
which kind short luv b dat?
Mehn see all dis yeye gals wey want guys to comnpose dis kin letter fr dem!hmm*shakin head*ah laff mehn!well ma advise to u is,u too goan bcom 1st black african to visit d sun n live or bcom miss universe too! Now dat is dat!oh mi n agbani ma sweetest advise to u is u shld pray abt dis ur relationship!
You can tell that Mr. Abaga is a voracious reader.