Toyin Olaleye’s Response to “In Nigeria, You’re Either Somebody or Nobody” Op-Ed Piece by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani
Posted on Wednesday, February 27th, 2013 at 1:25 PMBy Toyin Olaleye
On Feb 9th 2013, Nigerian author Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani published a commentary in the opinion section of the New York Times titled, “In Nigeria, You’re Either Somebody or Nobody“.
Although, this was an opinion piece, I believe it is the duty of every Nigerian in the diaspora to properly represent what is and what isn’t in our country.
When I read the title of the article, I excitedly looked forward to a well written article on some of the flaws in Nigerian society, such as the difficulty millions of qualified Nigerians face in acquiring employment commensurate to their skills without “connections.”
It is therefore not difficult to imagine my astonishment when after reading the article I realized that the focal point of this article was “househelps.”
It is very true that the gap between the rich and poor in Nigeria is extremely wide, and that there is a strong cloud of oppression hovering over the nation. However, Nwaubani’s claim that in Nigeria you’re either somebody or nobody is a bit misguided because she used one of the very few things which serves and is still serving as the economical bone marrow of many Nigerians. And that thing is the domestic labor force.
I am going to first deal with the social problem that was alluded to and not addressed at all in the article – equality of all men. It is true that the American constitution states that all men are equal; it is however untrue that Americans believe that all men are equal. In every society, wealth and social influence are dividers of men. Does the writer really believe that investors on Wall Street consider the coffee makers at Starbucks their equals, or that the Kennedys consider every average American their political equal? This is before we get to the race or sex divide.
It is well known that on average, a black or feminine life is considered less equal to that of a white male. All you need to ascertain this fact is to look into the U.S. legal system. This is not censure of the US in anyway. In every society made of humans, no matter what those humans say, men are not equal. This is something George Orwell put to rest in his well-known book ‘Animal Farm’ - “all animals are equal; some are just more equal than others.” If the writer thinks equality is not enforceable in Nigeria, the US is certainly not doing a good job of enforcing it either.
Now to the focal point the writer has chosen, “house helps.”
Let’s say having house helps is in no way an indoctrination. It is true that some of them are treated badly, but the majority of them are often treated well. However, for the sake of argument, let’s imagine house helps were all treated badly. Then the question that would follow is, “what is the alternative?” Most of them come from impoverished homes, parents that have more mouths than they could possibly feed, so that if these kids are not house-helps, the only other alternatives open to them in a country without social welfare is a life of crime. Not only that; being a house help is the only shot these kids have of making something of themselves.
For many in Nigeria, being a house help has given them open doors to greater things. Quite a number of house helps do indeed ‘hail’ from different villages across the nation and are brought into cities to work for their employers. As a result, these domestic workers get lots of exposure to a life they probably would have only been fortunate to see on television. Many are given the opportunity to go to school, eat Christmas chicken and send money to their parents back in their villages, all courtesy of their employers.
My mother treated our house helps like us and bought them clothes regularly, just as they did for us. My sister and I would even call our house helps ‘aunty’ and ‘sister’ in accordance with the respect we gave to those who were older than us. They would even get the same punishment as us when they did things they weren’t supposed to, or when they would ‘ko ja aye won’ (crossed certain boundaries) as Yoruba women would say. So Nwaubani’s references to the times her father would tell their house helps to stop singing, certainly are not enough to ascertain the notion that they are ‘lesser’ beings. They are house helps, but employees first and foremost.
In America, there is no way any of us would knowingly continue to sing close to our boss when we know he or she dislikes any singing. It’s like people who come to work late three times in a row and are surprised when they get fired.
“Where they do that at?”
For as long as I can remember, the domestic labor force in Nigeria has always been a way for people of all ages to make some money for themselves.
It is indeed true that house helps were widely believed to be “scoundrels and carriers of diseases.” An ignorant mindset that is slowing fading in Nigeria as the country gets more exposure to modern thinking. That mindset is again a function of an individual’s upbringing and doesn’t necessarily represent how each and every household treated or treats their house helps. Many employers and their children accustom a certain level of respect to their workers via salary and/or other perks. Those who don’t, well, they know that they abide in Nigeria where disgruntled workers are capable of doing almost anything. Vicious workers do also exist where kind bosses are, but that is something that no one anywhere can usually control.
One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalizations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed.
It is unfortunate that the U.S is continually being used as a standard to judge Nigerian social affairs. Nigerians need to start seeing that in our own uniqueness we can attain to something higher than the US could have.
In conclusion, I have heard or read somewhere that when you recognize the problem, you are halfway towards solving it. But what chance does Nigeria have if writers who consider themselves thinkers not only fail to recognize real problems, but create problems where there are none and then broadcast it to the world?
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Toyin Olaleye is a writer pursuing a Masters degree at the Johns Hopkins University, USA. She’s the unpublished author of “Oh! So You Are From Africa, How Come You Speak English” and is extremely passionate about Nigeria.
Tags: Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani, In Nigeria, Moradeke Bamgboye, Toyin Olaleye, You’re Either Somebody or Nobody
wow….wow…wow….simply wow….kudos to you Toyin. i couldnt have said it better than you did. thank you for pointing out the obvious and giving people the alternative. i think you have helped us avoid ‘ the danger of a single story’ as chimamanda would say from nwaubani’s poitn of view. hope she reads this n broadens her horizons and hope that peice wasnt to get her more into america’s main stream of writers where she wrote anything but the truth just to get a favor…….we really need to start judging n measuring ourselves with our own standards n capabilities n not america, bc america has no idea what nigeria has been through n is still going tru, how nigerians hav survived this far n continue to survive and doh we use them as example to better oursleves, they r not our determining factors for sucess n i hope nwaubani does realise herself that doh america preaches equality, she is in no way an equal to a caucasian with her same level of education or skills bc anyday anytime, taht caucasian american will b chosen over her……thank you toyin
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Wow!!! I don’t know why your response caught my interest more than the initial article. Well articulated points I must add. Well done.
You made my day with this – “One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalizations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed.” Do have a great day ahead of you.
This is the most contradictory piece i’ve ever seen. For Toyin to sit there and try to justify modern day slavery in 2013 is absolutely unbelievable. I cant believe justification such as “. One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps ” I mean who says that?Its like saying one of the greater good of the nigerian society is using child labour . I mean for a fact more than 60% of these house helps are underage according to UNICEF.
I’m struggling to understand the premise for the reply from Toyin.As much as it makes for a balanced perspective it does not address the systemic failures of our government and society at large to deal with issues of child labour.So i guess we are supposed to be proud of such institutions and live in a fantasy that the motive behind it is justified.
I couldn’t agree more….sit down there and try to compare nigeria with america, you’re deceiving yourself Toyin. Truth be told, The US constitution treats each American as an equal, and has put practices in places to ensure equality in all they do. Now, what you have mentioned as an example of inequality is a matter of perception. The Wall street investor should treat the server at starbucks harshly and see whether he won’t get a harsh lawsuit. And I can bet you the server will win if his story is credible. Now fast forward to maids in america, they work for a certain wage, a wage that is sufficient for they and their families to live on, a wage that house helps in nigeria can only dream of and that is because their country has laws in place to prevent the exploitation of its citizens whether rich or poor. I could go on and on about how this article by Toyin is misguided, ignorant and misplaced, I mean to think you’ll sit and profess that a “majority” of helps are treated well just cos you think your mom treated your helps right. I’m sure if i asked those helps they’ll say something else. Toyin, If you choose to continue writing, I suggest that you recognize the benefit of making informed statements, and doing some research prior to responding to people’s “opinions”. What her opinion should have done for you was inspired you to go out and find out some of the ordeals of this domestic workforce not write a reactionary piece based on one personal experience and using that to generalize and conjure up inexistent statistics.
very good piece!I am not nigerian but i really believe in the potential of that country.i always say that with good governing systems you would be way better than the USA.so why give yourself sub standards when you can get much higher?
You see why this article stands out for me is because the points were well articulated.,which is the main the other article lacked. And we got to read about both sides of the coin.
Very well said.
Awesome write-up.
While I appreciate the writer’s sentiments as to the fact that Tricia ought not to have generalised in her article, nor painted Nigeria in a bad light in the public sphere I beg to differ with her claim that Tricia fails “to recognize real problems, but create problems where there are none”…. Let’s be honest with ourselves, yes not all househelps are treated badly but we have to admit that the way some are treated as second class citizens is atrocious! As you say in your article, the first step to dealing with a problem is recognising that it exists..
Let everyone reading this article and who has a help or knows someone who has a help think about these questions.. How do you treat your househelp? Do you believe that the volume of work they are asked to do is fair for someone of their age? How many of them are minors? Yup, if you are housing an under-aged person for work, that’s child abuse in the Nigerian constitution.. Do you actually know his / her age? Do you talk to them with respect or politely? Where do they sleep?
Some people do treat their househelp fairly and with conscience and that’s wonderful but sometimes, we see that others don’t.
Maybe Tricia’s article will help us think and start to condemn employers who treat their employees like dirt.
Yes, not all house-helps are maltreated but some are treated like slaves and we need to recognise that in order to stop it. A spade is a spade
perfect
True Word.
you better preach!!!
amen sistren!!
i’m sorry, but the same thing happens in the US… People employ illegal underage maids or cleaning people… even in restaurants too, this happens…. so i don’t get why a couple of underage maids in Nigeria is being spat on, and the US is being praised
I live in the US I don’t believe people employ underage illegals and maltreat them the way they do. It called child abuse. It only takes a nosy neighbour and that is it jail plus deportation.
One flaw in your argument. ILLEGAL. The house helps in 9ja are not Illegal
And the people that may be doing this in America are not doing it in the open like in Nigeria where the society does not seem to have a problem with people employing under-age children. There is serous jail time for anyone that is caught in the US employing underage children or illegals. In some cases it is deemed to be slavery which is unconstitutional per the 13th and 14th Amendments of the US Constitution and applicable state laws. For example,in 2010, a Nigerian couple, Emmanuel and Ngozi Nnaji, were sentenced to 20 and 9 years in prison, respectively, for the manner in which they treated their house help. The jury found that they had enslaved the house help and according to reports had not paid her for many years. This is not the only case involving Nigerians and house help in the US.
You couldn’t have said it any better.
well the idea isn’t that househelps aren’t treated good or bad, i think what toyin was appaled was at, is to see the issue of househelp being the major issue, like seriously? with the over billions issues she could have come up with, househelp? duh.
Aren’t house help’s people? What makes them any less important than any other person/issue? It’s one thing to have an opinion about how people are represented but to classify some people as less important is just abominable. I pray that you never have to find yourself in the desperate position that some house helps in Nigeria find themselves. If we cannot care for the most vulnerable in our society then there really is no hope for us
Really, you see the house help maltreatment as less important. What kind of inane mentality is that.
@1 + The One, thank you. I was going to write a response but when I read yours, I figured no need. just agree with what’s been so well said. The only problem with Tricia’s article is that she appeared to have generalized like everyone treated their help poorly, but this one does the same by acting like it’s not a real problem. But it is. You can’t take a hot iron to the skin of your help or feed the help different food from what you eat or give them workload that all your children combined can’t handle and say we don’t have a problem. We DO
well i guess i did end up writing a response lol
Thank you. Just… thank you. As long as one person is treated badly there is a reason for us to complain. And as to the whole ‘we’re giving them a better life thing’, it’s not like most people get househelps solely to give them a better life. We NEED their help too so I found that comment about the television patronising. I grew up in a household where our helps were treated very well, sent to school, clothes bought for them if our parents went abroad etc, but NEVER did I ever think to myself ‘O you’re being done a favour so thank your God’. Adaobi’s article may have had some technical issues (and I think it is these technicalities that this author is focusing on) but her message was clear and true.
I agree. If the author of this piece read carefully, a lot of the examples Tricia used were from her own upbringing. What Tricia says is not the complete story, yes, but let us be honest with ourselves, many Nigerians with a degree of power abuse it and mistreat people who they consider beneath them. Just read the news and you will realize Tricia is not wrong. It doesn’t take one person to share a story of a people, we all have different perspectives. Tricia shared her story, and Toyin can very well share her version without accusing Tricia of disgracing the country, it just doesn’t sell her point well.
Please send this piece to the New York Times. Hopefully they have enough brains to publish it! Well written!
Honestly, when I read the article weeks ago, I was kinda pissed but hey there are mind sets about Nigeria. Honestly Bella, as much as I l love your site, I get to wonder the effects either + or – for certain articles and hence my thought for the future of social media most esp blogs. Good piece Toyin.
Fantastic!
Its indeed a shame that Nigerians keep selling themselves short, cos it still doesn’t make the Americans think of her as different. She’s still gonna be considered as one of us,so she should make a change instead of just criticizing.
More attention grabbing than the original, I agree. The original started off verbose, looked lenghty and honestly, I just couldn’t get into it. At the time though, I thought it was published in a Nigerian Newspaper. Now that I realize where it was published, I might go read it to see how exactly she put our business out there. I like the unemployed job-seeker angle and wish that would be the focus of another editorial. Interesting perspective Toyin, Thanks!
Good points, especially the 2nd to last paragraph. Very powerful.
But allow me a moment to laugh… so ‘Unpublished Author’ is how people are now describing themselves these days eh?? Ok o.
Anyone who writes a book, a real book that isn’t yet published is an unpublished author. I have read an excerpt of this book which i got from amazon and yes it’s a real book. Maybe you should check it out too rather than mocking someone’s hustle here!
“One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalizations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed.” Really? Please this is garbage. This article is nothing nonsense. House help is a good institution? Why isn’t any of your family part of this? All these expert wanna-be SMH……
articles like this is why am so proud to be a Nigerian. Its time we look inwords and view our problems from our stance and not always in comparison. Househelps maltreated? try bankers (bank workers) who are maltreated by the same category of so called employers. Really the fact that it has foreign roots doesn’t always make it right.
Well articulated piece. There are people that will mistreat others in any society. There are people in the U.S. who use the system to mistreat others as well, take the foster care system. Some people are in it for the good of the children, others for the money they get from the government and some of the kids are treated just as badly as some househelps in Nigeria. I agree that the U.S. should not be our yardstick. We are a unique people and we should not be afraid to chart our own course.
Thank you, how can the writer claim that there is no problem with the way house helps are treated since after all the alternative would be them starving. Do yourself a favor and read Nigerian newspapers, a lot of the househelps are minors and that is illegal. secondly a very large percentage of them are sexually molested, when one of my former househelps told me about her ordeals in the hands of Ogas and the male children i cried like a baby. We have madams who use blade to cut their househelps and even put pepper afterwards for such things as breaking a plate! I have seen households where 8year old are employed as maids! If you really want to help why not bring them in as foster kids instead of telling an 8yr old to wash clothes, clean the house and sometimes even look after toddlers! The US and other countries my not be perfect but at least most of the time the victims have a recourse. In Nigeria expect the househelp dies and even then 99% of the time the the madams and Ogas go scot-free. In fact after some of these girls get raped by the Oga and she she gets pregnant then the madam would beat the living day light out of her and send her out for”seducing” her husband. So my dear it is a problem that needs to be addressed, there such more laws protecting the rights of these poor girls and enforcing the existing ones.
House help in Nigeria is like the modern day slavery. I have a problem with Ms. Olaleye’s assertions. I bet the people that kept the institution of slavery going as long as it did would have sided with her. After all, the slaves got to eat three square meals and lived in a house. What it doesn’t say was that the slaves were considered less of a human and were treated so. Same as our househelps. Just because your family treated your househelps well doesn’t mean every family does. Having a fellow human being confined to the kitchen or boys quarters or eating left over food isn’t anything to be proud about. Would you marry a househelp or have your brother marry one? We know the answer. Househelps should be done away for good.
I completely disagree with your statement especially the part of left over food.. Please tell me the last time you witnessed this besides seeing it in a ’90s nollywood movie. Also HOUSEHELPS EXIST IN AMERICAN HOMES PEOPLE!! However they go by the title “Au Pair, Nanny, Housekeeper”. And these folks are also NOT ALLOWED in certain areas of the house and thereby CONFINED to staying in their own rooms or designated areas of a huge mansion. The only difference is that the environment here is completely different from Nigeria’s own (affordable living and saving).
Some of you are so confined to your own bubble you have no idea what goes on in other parts of the country. The part of eating left over food happens. I saw it the last time (2011) I went to Nigeria. The fact that it is not happening in your household or family doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
“House help in Nigeria is like the modern day slavery. I have a problem with Ms. Olaleye’s assertions. I bet the people that kept the institution of slavery going as long as it did would have sided with her.”
Can I please shake your hand? THANK YOU for pointing that out. How many househelps are being employed in Nigeria on a footing of equality – i.e. the househelp comes to the boss and says “here I am, sir, offering xyz services to your household and I’d like to request xyz payment in return as fair and reasonable wages for washing clothes, cooking, taking care of the children, ironing, going to the market, plucking leaves and washing snails when I’ve returned from the market, staying at home to receive visitors when you’re not in, etc, etc. etc. Also, I’d like statutory holidays, if you don’t mind, not just the going home once a year during christmas and maybe a couple of other times in cases of emergency”?
Yes, people send their househelp to school (because as a country, we’re big on educating people) but is there anyone who had a househelp in the home where they grew up and can say that the houshelp attended the very same schools the children of the house attended?? Did your mother buy the same quality of clothes, or give them the same love and attention given to you as the children, or lavish the same amount of money and resources on the househelp?
The answer is “no” and the immediate rejoiner is “but they were getting paid”. Okay, so why didn’t they also get treated like paid workers, closing work at particular times, not being yelled at and having the opportunity to get all the usual worker’s benefits? This article by the writer is very flawed. I have friends living here in the UK who, as mothers, are fortunate enough to have au pairs (live-in nannies) staying with them and trust me, even though you’re providing food and accommodation as part of the arrangement, the contract is very specific as to what your live-in Nanny will accept as tolerable work conditions. Once her working hours are over, you can’t just go and wake her up from sleep to come and pluck leaves for soup, you don craze finish?
Don’t justify the institution of househelps/houseboys. Even when you want to do charity work, do you call the recipient of your charity to come and sweep your house, just because you’re being charitable to them and their family? The answer is no. Therefore domestic servants in Nigeria are not your charity case. They are meant to be paid workers.
Thank you. Articulate my sister!
I’m not sure you understand what modern day slavery is!!!???. What you have described is partially historic slavery. Comparing having no freedom, acess to basics needs of daily living and even most imprortant…a choice. A choice to leave your current situation and either go back to their village or find an alternative means of living. They are employees, usually from less privileged or impoverished homes in remotes cities. The opportunity to make a difference in their lives, whether financially or just from plain exposure to possibilites is what you describe as modern day slavery. I acknowledge all employers are not great just like in every job and also underage kids shouldn’t be exposed to such. I have known many families who sent their “househelps” to secondary school, university or for some type of vocational training with allowances, free housing and food. In return they do hosuehold work. Heck, a former househelp ended up being a college graduate in the US after helping her play the visa lottery that everyother memeber of that household also was. The concept of helps is not bad, the execution (arrogant madams, lazy children) is far from perfect. It however gives them a shot at this thing called life. Tu comprend…..
I’m not sure you understand what modern day slavery is!!!???. What you have described is partially historic slavery. Comparing having no freedom, access to basics needs of daily living and even most important…a choice. A choice to leave your current situation and either go back to their village or find an alternative means of living. They are employees, usually from less privileged or impoverished homes in remotes cities. The opportunity to make a difference in their lives, whether financially or just from plain exposure to possibilites is what you describe as modern day slavery. I acknowledge all employers are not great just like in every job and also underage kids shouldn’t be exposed to such. I have known many families who sent their “househelps” to secondary school, university or for some type of vocational training with allowances, free housing and food. In return they do household work. Heck, a former househelp ended up being a college graduate in the US after helping her play the visa lottery that every other member of that household also was. The concept of helps is not bad, the execution (arrogant madams, lazy children) is far from perfect. It however gives them a shot at this thing called life. Tu comprend…..
Underdog pls don’t come here and tell lies this is a serious matter…..what is Ur statistics? Lets know the number of those helps u know……
Excellently written and all points were clear and precise
But she failed to bring up points of her own, and display her own opinion on the fact that in Nigeria you are either ‘somebody or nobody’.
Personally, I feel the title is a bit extreme but the main point cuts across all facets of society throughout every part in the world. The only major difference is that in Nigeria ( as highlighted by Toyin), the divide between the rich and poor is disparagingly obvious
Lastly, although one can look at the social welfare system as a burden it can also be seen as a great success which has often been tried to be emulated, without success.
The number of life’s that have been saved through the NHS, or tuition fees that have been paid through the state funded system thus producing great lawyers, doctors , engineers etc or the number of small scale and large scale businesses that have been started through the rendering of Job seekers allowance cannot be quantified and the social benefit of this all is immeasurable.
Yes it has it’s downsides, but the main point of the system is that all men and women should have access to the some basic rights and ammenities eg education, healthcare etc
A house help getting all of this would be solely at the discretion of the employee, how can it be guaranteed that the quality of the education is even worthwhile etc .
The fact is in Nigeria the divide between the poor and rich is beyond being too wide and it is the GOVERNMENT who should have the responsibilty of provide some basic rights which in turn would narrow the necessary aspects of the gap, and not the rich people who all may not be as nice and caring as Toyin’s parents
Nice rebuttal! Bella Naija Team, please add the link to the original article.
Very well said my dear!
well done Toyin! i hope Nwaubani gets to read this and hopefully will do a retraction or something and then focus on fictional storytelling henceforth!
Why does Adaobi Nwaubani need to do a retraction? This article is a disgrace and if you don’t know it, you need help. How long has Toyin lived in the states to start pontificating on the welfare system? besides, her claims of her parents buying househelps clothes as a basis for their equality in her home is rather fickle. whatever became of those househelps? did they go on to John Hopkins? we all know the plight of omo-odo’s so please have a seat. As for you, Kiki, i’m glad you recognise Adaobi’s talent
Spot on! I was about to ask the same question too. Toyin the writer, please come and answer, did your househelps follow you to Hopkins too?
Do you know how much it costs to go to john hopkins?! This statement and the one before about this john hopkins thing angers me! If you have kids and househelps, please who is your priority?! You’re talking as if you won’t send your kids to johns hopkins first before you think of any househelp and who in the world told you her parents are the ones responsible for her johns hopkins fees?! Urghhh!
this article is well written but it does what you accuse Tricia’s article of doing.. addressing one point and leaving out the others. If you did not recognise, tricia’s article simply used househelps as an example of the gap between the rich and poor, the elite and the masses in the Nigerian Society. The problem still remains that unless youre someone, youre no one.
“One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalizations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed.”
I completely disagree with the above statement. If Nigeria had so social welfare program, perhaps these house helps would never become house helps, but would get to remain with their families through the additional support provided by social welfare programs. You seem to forget that there are not enough jobs for all who are qualified, and hardwork does not necessarily translate into financial security. While a village woman may toil all day on her farm working hard, she will likely remain poor at the end of the day and unable to pay for children to attend school.
thank u, very good n straight to the point. we have had house helps in my house from when i was a child and my parents always treated them well, they send them to school and buy clothes for them and send money to their families, 1 in particular finished from university and is currently married and working in a bank, thanks to my parents and she i supporting her mom and younger siblings. so that writer shouldn’t say that house helps are maltreated
I think you meant to say she shouldn’t say ALL house helps are maltreated. I believe you when you say your parents were good to the help in your house but that is your perspective. Perhaps sit down with this young lady and ask her how she felt about being the help in your house. She might say she was just hanging on for a brighter future
Ms Toyin, slave masters probably made similar arguments like yours. They provided slaves witha place to sleep and food and all they are expected to do is work. What is their option? Return to Africa? That mentality is responsible for some of the inequalities you described. Underaged domestic help is morally wrong. It is a slippery slope to child exploitation, abuse and trafficking.
Do you know what slavery is? Everyone on here calling the concept of maids, househelps slavery obviously doesn’t know the definition of slavery. You all need to educate yourself. The concept of maids or househelps is not wrong or bad. The execution is erribly flawed and it is just like anything in freaking Nigeria open to abuse. No underage kid and I don’t mean teenagers should be exploited or exposed to it. If the parents find a benefit in some of them gaining an education or financial reward then it’s on them to look out for the welfare of their child and make sure they are not being overworked, maltreated etc. There are teenagers at mcdonalds and other places working thei behind of to pay for college or even just their rent. Part of the problem is nigerians just want to be given everything, maybe it is a black mentality…welfare and all. Some people need and deserve the help but heck if you can clean plates and wash clothe for you to save money and learn a trade or go to schoool rather than sit ain some remote village starving, deprived waiting on some rich uncle or aunt to come bail you. Go hustle please. Below is the definition of slavery and quit using it inappropriately cause slavery is one of the most atrciuos crimes ever committed by man.
“Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work.[1] Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation”
Do you know what slavery is? Everyone on here calling the concept of maids, househelps slavery obviously doesn’t know the definition of slavery. You all need to educate yourself. The concept of maids or househelps is not wrong or bad. The execution is terribly flawed and it is just like anything in freaking Nigeria open to abuse. No underage kid and I don’t mean teenagers should be exploited or exposed to it. If the parents find a benefit in some of them gaining an education or financial reward then it’s on them to look out for the welfare of their child and make sure they are not being overworked, maltreated etc. There are teenagers at mcdonalds and other places working their behind of to pay for college or even just their rent. Part of the problem is nigerians just want to be given everything, maybe it is a black mentality…welfare and all. Some people need and deserve the help but heck if you can clean plates and wash clothes for you to save money and learn a trade or go to schoool rather than sit in some remote village starving, deprived waiting on some rich uncle or aunt to come bail you. Go hustle please. Below is the definition of slavery and quit using it inappropriately cause slavery is one of the most atrocious crimes ever committed by man.
“Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation”
Thank you very much. The concept of house helps is good. If you had older children in Nigeria for example, won’t he or she be the one to assist the working mother? When I was much younger, my mum was a working and busy mum and my elder sister practically took care of the rest 5 siblings. She cooked, washed and cleaned for everyone and pray tell, she was just in JSS3 at that time. Does that mean she was a slave? Or is it because the house helps are not of the same blood every one assumes that it’s slavery? If your house hold didn’t treat your house help well don’t assume that others didn’t too. And no one should say films because what we see in Nollywood is most times not reality. Heck I already have uncles and aunties who are in the village and have bitten more than they can chew (have more kids than they can possibly take care of) and have already booked down for their kids to come help me in the city so that they can have a better life or reduce the burden on them. Is that a good idea? For me that is one of the ways I can help. Nothing is free in this world, even my kids would have to work hard in school and get good results to show that money spent on them was not a waste. Is there a problem with that? Maybe they should also tell those people in the village who are poor to stop having kids or to stop being poor. This is one of Nigeria’s welfare system.
It can also be compared to those igbo boys who are brought from the village and assist their masters in the shop for some number of years and after that they are settled. Some have good masters and others bad, but would you paint the whole system bad? No I would not, its a very good system so is the house help one.
the writer did a good job…………but to think that nigeria can be greater than the US is only in your imagination…………….
An average househelp in the states takes home $700 a month, drives a BMW or Ford Explorer SUV…..lives i a comfortable apartment and has her child studying in the best university……
while this is not true with every househelp in america, every american has a chance to be who they want to be.
The rise and fall of america is spiritual………record has it that for close to 70yrs that the united states and the uk possesses 3/4 of the worlds largest mineral resources. I am sure many of you have read or heard that america would become the largest oil producer in the world by 2017
already they have the largest oil reserve in the world………
No nation on earth either now or in the past has fulfilled the bible prophecy of prosperity given to abraham, isaac and jacob. Neither the roman empire, french or the germans has ever been as prosperous as united states. America is the worlds last super power before all of the mysteries in the bible will begin to unfold.
The bible noted that america will disappear and forgotten after they sin, their identity would be forgotten, but that they would emerge again blessed because God’s word cannot fail, but that they would sin again and God will deal with them and once more will fade away.
This was why abraham lincoln saw all the visions of what is to come about america.
On the dedication of america few yards to the world trade center, Abraham lincoln warned that if they forget their God that evil awaits them. Now we know their future since they have chosen marriage equality.
America is the only nation in the world outside the state of isreal that is dedicated to God openly and had the bible as their constitution before the war with the red indians.
In case you do not understand pls read about what jacobs tonb means to the british people and read about jacob and his descendants. The uk, america and isreal are all one people
On the other hand i believe that we should represent our country well, nigeria is still great in their own way and i believe that with collective effort, there is hope for nigeria…
Sorry, which version of the bible do you adhere to?
Keep your inferior mindset to yourself. *hiss*
abi o…me I need to read that bible.
what fiction are u writing, on average, bmw/explorers for househelps…lmaooo, jesus no wonder those nigerians back home think life is easy here… my friend you better start living in reality, because some dont even make half of that a week, and public transportation and living in a one bedroom house with almost 12 people and some very illegal try to stay out of the public eye. so stop dreaming jare. the fact is toyin is right, lets unearth our problems in nigeria, and help create a solution rather than making it small ones a large one. I give this article an A.
Nice write up! I think the first thing to getting things right in Nigeria is believing in ourselves and being confident that we can do things without always comparing ourselves to the europeans.We all should remember that no human being/country is perfect and we also have to adhere to our culture and values instead of trying to imitate the europeans
I solemnly disagree with the writer statement”One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalizations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed” I think she forgot what is child labour and modern day slavery where children are forced into labour market. Many low income or no income family who forced their children into street hawking or send them to some middle income family as house helps, this due to lack of proper support from the government. Toyin you are totally wrong and I think you are just being selfish and narrow minded, do you think is right and justifying for any child to become house help to another child of their own age, would ever think of sending your own child to another wealthier family as house help. I think this institutions must be nullified because, I see it as totally child abuse and degrading to our society. In no circumstances should any child be sent as a slave to another family just because the are poor.
I raised similar objections too. I honestly think her article is mediocre rebuttal.
I am soooo glad you said this. Because overall her arguement does not recognize Nwanbani original arugment. It is true in Nigeria you are either somebody or nobody. People only care about who you know and what car you drive. Smh, please don’t compare Nigeria to any other country when it comes to rights. Nigerians need to wake up and stop bullshitting themselves. Our country has deep roots of disfunction that can only be solved when we admit them. The average Nigeria does not treat any worker with respect and dignity. We calle them “idoiots, stupid” we raise our voices. Is that possible in America? and the employers ass wouldn’t get sued? I think not.
Not in my Village though…In my ‘awesome’ Ekiti Village, people only care how many degrees and children you have…finito!! In fact the more money you have the more likely you are to be disdained #truestory…..Now we all need to realize that Nigeria is such a complex organism with human rights abuses on several levels…A “somebody” would be bullied by an even bigger somebody at point…so why don’t we all calm our nerves and work towards electing better officials who would uphold our constitution irrespective of whatever…..
Good point raised Tim. Now I’d like to hear your alternatives of the plethora of jobs available to said house helps in a society where the government is ‘sleeping’
“One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps”
Stories that touch! How is this a greater good for the Nigerian society? Really…curious minds want to know. As a passionate Nigerian, why didn’t you pursue the housegirl route as opposed to a Masters at Hopkins? Greater good ko, greater good ni. Just say that you want someone who will run around and pick up after you, we won’t judge that.
I agree.
I solemnly disagree with the writer statement”One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalizations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed” have you ever heard of child labour and modern day slavery .Many low income or no income family who forced their children into street hawking or send them to some middle income family as house helps, this due to lack of proper support from the government. I think your are selfish and narrow minded.do you think is right and justifying for any child to become house help to another child of their age. Would you ever think of sending your own child to another wealthier family as a house help. I think this institutions must be nullified because, I see it as a child abuse and degrading to our society. In no circumstances should any child be sent as a slave to another family just because the are poor.
This article is just as atrocious as Nwaubani’s. Only slight difference is that it is published on BellaNaija and not by NYT. Better we expose our ignorance at home turf than in the proverbial (global) village square.
“One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalisations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed.”
So exploiting minors (which, is generally the situation) is better than government social welfare? You’d rather have abuse of social, economic rights as well as abuse of child rights and let’s not forget the various levels of sexual abuse and assault that happen to these help in virtually all homes? Words fail me
Please read this to see what a proper rebuttal of Nwaubani’s article: xokigbo.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/for-adaobi-tricia-nwaubani-between-her-america-and-her-nigeria/
Sigh.
Deee, the sexual molestation problem is even more faced by children of the househelp owners, so the problem is really both ways.
And anyone employing an 8-yr old to take care of their baby needs psychiatric examination. Don’t know about you but on my side of the country, the people engaged as helps tend to be 12-14yr upwards. Most people even prefer to go for the more matured helps (25 and over).
The author is right about the domestic help system enabling many indigent people to get a better deal of life than what they would have had otherwise, but I’d be careful to not totally paint the system in the prettiest of lights. It still remains one of the biggest avenues of human trafficking in Nigeria and many have suffered sexual abuse and degradation of their persons through this system. If it were possible for us as a country to legalize this system and make it more structured, give them a union, make them a recognized labour group, maybe things might improve.
This article was on point , the main reasons that house helps exist is because there are no other options.So for those who say it should be done away with ….what is the alternative ?starvation ? Although poverty is a major cause , irresponsibility of the part of the parents is also a cause .When you have a driver having 10 children how is it possible for him to send the children to school or even feed them ? the poor kids get sent off to live with strangers because he/her parents were to stupid to use birth control.
Agreed house helps are mistreated , because there are no labor laws , even in regular employment in Nigeria your boss can do anything to you knowing that no laws will protect you.Even in almighty america the same thing happens with domestic workers particularly immigrants .
Members of the government are supposed to put policies in place to protect the vulnerable .Until education is free the story of house helps will continue in Nigeria
I just want to say this first..I love writers and have the utmost respect for them…After reading this article, i went back to read the original article and the comments on bella naija on adaobi’s article…Toyin and adaobi raised some valid points. However, i am beginning to believe that a lot of Nigerians live in lala land. Some of you here commenting saying “hmm great article” must be from privileged homes. Everyone now is coming out to talk about how their mothers bought clothes for their maids, sent them to school, did so so and so for their housemaids. Great!!.. but guess what, they also did our lazy behinds a favour. i also come from a privileged home but that doesnt make me less empathetic to what other ppl are going through in that country called Nigeria. Obviously, nobody will come on this blog and talk about how their parents weren’t exactly fair to their housemaids. While my mom catered to the needs of our househelps, it was definitely not easy for them. Once they come back from school, they go straight into the kitchen to cook lunch, clean, cook dinner, clean again and are usually the last ppl to go to bed. Now i wonder how they found the time to do their homeworks while our lazy behinds ( me and my siblings) didnt do much. Most of them are doing well now not because my parents were oh so great but because they were HARDWORKING and God blessed them for it. Shey me and my siblings are smelling it now.lol..i have obviously buckled up but i have the utmost respect for housemaids. THEY ARE AMAZING. I digress. People do a lot of things in Nigeria and do not even realize they are abusing their house maids. like prince above asked “If “house help” is a good institution, why isnt a member of your family part of it?”.lol. While everyone in the US for example arent equal, ppl generally respect each other irrespective of what the other person does for a living. It is the direct opposite in Nigeria. If you think otherwise then you are deceiving yourself. When it comes to class distinction, Nigerians and Indians are horrible. yes i said it!! The point of Toyins article is to console you guys and i hope you all saying “great article” have been consoled. While some parents are super nice to their house helps, the life of an average house help in Nigeria is far from great. All Adaobi did was create awareness about how house helps aren’t treated right in Nigeria. Is that a crime?? Is it not the truth??.. Why do yall choose to live in denial??
Amen.
Funny thing about Nigeriansis that, the minute someone writes something that supports us, us doesn’t makeus look bad again (considering we get so much flack against us), we just automatically support it, as if, ah, thank you o, Ese o, you are talking sense, you see, don’t mind those people writing trash about us it is not so. Rather than examining the content of the rebuttal, and asking yourself, yes she spoke well for us, but is she actually correct? You guys that pointed out the major flaw in her argument, I swear you guys just made my day, honestly. This parapo (communal supporters club) attitude, 9ja for life irrespective just makes me sick to my stomach. Toyin must have been a slave master in a former life, because this was the EXACT argument they used to justify their despicable act. If we didnt resuce them, they’ll still be living on trees. So, they should be grateful, and pay us back with work. I keep saying it, the problem with Nigeria lies majorly with the middle class. The ruling class know what they are doing is wrong, they know, but the middle class pretends they are not part of the problem and simply ignore it, as long as they can feed, clothe, house themselves etc, what is going on around them, they are clueless about. For every one good story about the treatment of househelps, I’m sure you have 10 or more horror stories. Yes the social welfare system has been abused, but it was created for a noble reason, and that makes AMERICA BETTER THAN US, I’m sorry, but I won’t support nonsense, just because I’m also a Nigerian. If there was a social welfare system do you think we would have househelps at all. How much are these helps paid ehn, if not for this somebody nobody mentality. My sister pays clsoe to £1800 a month for her au pair, and she has 3 kids. Can anyone here tell me that these house helps are properly renumerated for ALL THE WORK THEY DO. According to Toyin, they should be grateful sef, they have work to do. Can any of you do the work that these helps do for the salary they get? NO. So we are back to the somebody, nobody argument which Toyin conveniently avoided. So, in my opinion, her write up is just as bad as the other one, this one just massages our ego, makes us feel better, yet the real koko of the gist has been lost in big english. mschew
Amen to you all you’ve said my sister
Firstly Nigeria doesn;t have a middle class, that evaporated (fast too) a while back maybe when Babangida was president. Reality check for all of you comparing a third world country like naija to the US. far worse is comapring the wages that paid to a nanny/ cleaner/ help here in the US ( a nation with laws that they adhere to) to Naija. Start by paying the folks who went to school for ages (doctors, nurses, lawyer, engineers) similar salary and then maybe youca have a valid point. The amount of money I make in 2 weeks of seeing patients and working in the hospital is scary (others yearly salary in the US) when all I have to do is use my brain (well guess what I worked damn hard for it..blood and tears). everyday I drive past the construction worker slaving under the hot sun for peanuts. No I would be probably pass out a few times but eventually determinationcreeps in. Yes there are people like myself who have worled hard, cleaning toilets and pools being looked at as a nobody here in the US but with a goal set in one’s mind, you get there. You know what is worse, being stuck in a moment or situation that you can’t get out from. The concept of househelps is not wrong, the execution is. ust like everything else in naija, it is flawed and open to abuse. No underage kids and I don’t mean teenagers should exposed to abuse. Abuse is not responsibilty and doing chores daily to pay your bills but molestation and outrageous violence. Heck we had househelps that ended up getting some educational training. Nothing in life comes easy, yes there are rough patches, they are always going to be people just making your life a living hell. The journey shouldn’t deter you when the goal is set. What is the alternative for some of these kids. Stay ina village somewhere and then give birth to many children, starvation, ignorance, poverty. For those who really want to know what modern day slavery is, especially for the black man…it is lack of choice, curtailing ecnomic empowerment and letting them wallow within their limitations. As related to the above, leaving them in a village/ ghettto, no education/exposure, no freaking source if income, die from petty diseases (your favorite malaria diagnosis that every naija doc throws at every illness. Maybe you can make a difference in someone’s life, give them an education of some sort, whether formal or just simple exposure, feed them and put a decent roof over their heads and in return they wash, cook and clean..with the hope that their kids wouldn’t have todo the same. Food for thought. FYI: I was not born with a silver or bronze spoon (hence underdog
)Back in the day, my Mom taught me fairness, respect and hardwork. She often smiled at me when I fussed about how tough life was and what we didn’t have or couldn’t afford. She said with patience, hardwork and persistence, all of those things you desire will be yours. Yes when I was younger, I cleaned people houses and toilets, ran errands for free too. No contracts, no monthly pa…nada with the hpe that someone’s generosity and kindness will serve up a real opportunity to achieve my dreams. Peace and love.
Please ignore all the typos, it’s my lunch break. Just thougt of this…You can’t force a person to think rich but you can show them your riches (knowledge, material wealth, etc) which is exposure so they realize what can be possible. The kid in the village or ghetto in America or Nigeriawith no education, exposure, source of income lingers wastefully in that environment and then desperately tries to find a way out….seling drugs, stealing, thuggery. Maybe the privileged could be self reflect but don’t hate the institution….Don’t hate the game, hate the bad messing stuff up.
An interesting read. A more rounded perspective on the first article which left me ….
More needs to be said and done on the subject. A lot of attitude adjustment too.
To all those who disagree with Toyin… did you even stop to consider the ‘alternatives’ to house-helps as she had briefly cited…? would you rather they come and rob you of your possessions than for you to actually pay them or even send them to school in exchange for house chores… please… no one actually threatened their lives in getting them to work. its not a good one but still, its a means of livelihood for some. If they were on the streets begging you will still insult them, condemn them, yet you claim to be defending them now just cos you don’t agree with the writer?
I live in the US I don’t believe people employ underage illegals and maltreat them the way they do in nigeria. It is called child abuse. It only takes a nosy neighbour and you find your ass in jail plus deportation. Underage we are talking about 9 -13 the very common age of househelps. Accept the author is actually guilty of such treatment. I would give an example I want home in December last year and spent 2 days with my cousin, her mum as two househelps with age 12 and 13. This girls are always in the kitchen, I love cooking and doing my own dishes but whenever they see me coming they always had this surprise look on their faces. That beside the point I got to large cakes for my birthday which I decided to share with everyone, I caught one of them eating the crumbs in the plate I serve one my guest , you need to see the look on her face she was so scared but instead I ask her if she wanted some and gave a lot half of the other cake you need to see how my cousin and her sibling were saying that I shouldn’t have given them they so much
cake. I had to ask my cousin the cake they gave her for her birthday last week is still in the fridge and it was in my present that she throw the other cheese cake away so why don’t you just give it to them. The next day I heard one of them crying in the bath room for keeping a left over meal from the previous day that was suppose to be thrown away. In my mind i was like Please she was hungry that why she kept it and by the way she is only 10years old for crying out loud. Kids tend to eat a lot they are only just growing. They all got upset with her called her all kinds of names even my cousin that has been in the state for many almost 10 years. We all need to call a spade a spade. It was strange to me because growing up we treated them like they were our relations. They have to tell you before you even know. We all had timetables for doing the dishes and all.
Sorry for the typos
I grew up with the help of housemaids,my mum couldnt handle it alone,so she got help.
These girls served themselves food,got christmas clothes and went to private secretarial schools.
Their parents back in the village got welfare from my parents,and when they were old enough,the found husbands in lagos and today some of them travel to dubai or own good businesses plus they too have maids in their various homes.
I remember my mum would make me wash my socks first,because i got it messed up in school before the maid soaks them in detergent and washed it the next day.
It all depends on the kind of human being you are,,,,WiCKED or KIND?
We hail the western world today,but history has a. Story called SLAVE TRADE(1444-1847)
Please its time we start preaching positive things about our dear country NIGERIA,and see how people would believe in us. Writers pls promote Nationalism(Kudos to Toyin)
I have started mine,love ur neigbour and help somebody when you can. Dalu,E se,Na go de
Let’s add the bit where I get people from the Caribbean trying to talk to me about outhouses for ‘slaves’ (boys quarters)
That accommodation is provided rent free (where else do they do that?). Just as we have guest houses also. Plus this is coming from people in a society where you may not even be able to live in your parent’s house rent free. For all the flaws that Nigeria has, it does irritate me when people pick at this one.
Onenigeriachic and blonde u ple make me laugh…..y r u so myopic, so cos the New York writer talked about house helps she is unpatriotic? That is a serious issue in case u do not realize…..nigeria already has a bad image so realize that, so choosing to write on a topic doesn’t make her unpatriotic cos we all know every country including the US has its downsides…..but whether u like it or not the house help concept in Niger borders more on abuse
Mediocre rebuttal written by a simple mind. There is nothing proper about househelps the way most Nigerians have them.
I just think everyone should stop writing, it reeks of trying too hard! Though a few valid points raised, some are just …… you are an unpublished author as you claim, so I ‘ d forgive you but Bella Naija is as far this should go. Adaobi has written enough, this has mellowed it with its own bit of hideousness again to it. Lets not get carried away. Enough please enough!
I am sory but this writer is also as biased as tricia……..
i totally understand your point of view but you are still saying the same thing tricia said, just that you are seeing it from your own view…you did treat househelps right in your family…good for you but is that the same for every other family?…as far as im concerned you are still trying to sugarcoate reality …tehrefore both this article and that of tricia are biased according to the writers of the article point of view
I cannot embrace this article because it is unnecessarily overly defensive of Nigeria. First, Ms. Olaleye argues that Tricia Nwaubani should not compare Nigeria to the US and then she (Ms. Olaleye) compares Nigeria to the US anyways and finds that both nations treat individuals in an unequal manner. Second, Ms. Olaleye accuses Ms. Nwaubani of making generalizations in her article and then goes ahead and makes some of her own, i.e., “One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps”. Are you kidding me?!!! Unless, Ms. Olaleye was a house help in her past life, she should not make such a comment. It is highly offensive and reminds me of a book that I read where a white slave owner in the American south wrote that his black slaves were happy. Finally, Ms. Olaleye’s focus on the house help population misses the point of Ms. Nwaubani’s article: house help was used to demonstrate the inequality that is pervasive in Nigeria and the greater exposure of the not-so-well-off or the poor to maltreatment, marginalization, and deprivation.
Now, Ms. Nwaubani’s critics argue that inequality is found in the US as a way to discredit her point. My response is that the brand of inequality that exists in Nigeria is very different from the brand of inequality that exists in the US today. The difference is grounded in the notion of human rights. As far as I am concerned, human rights is a joke in Nigeria. Atrocities such as the Aluu 4, pension fund theft, DANA air crash, the rape of the Abia University female student a few years ago, the recommendation by a Nigerian doctor that Victor Sopuruchi Chukweke should be drowned because of his tumors, or even the often told story of a Nigerian boss slapping a subordinate are more likely to occur and go unpunished in an environment where there is not a collective sense of human rights and the will to see it through.
Were the aforementioned atrocities to occur in the US, trust and believe, that we will not be waiting for justice to happen months and years later. If you do not believe me then read up on Bernie Madoff, Rodney King, Kenneth Leigh, and other aspects of American history involving crime and justice. I have lived both in Nigeria and the US and if I were a poor man or a house help, I would rather live in US than in Nigeria. Why? Though the poor man living in the US may not be treated equal to the rich man per se, but the poor man has recourse, a clear path to evening the playing field, and access to social supports. In addition, there is a legal system in the US that has often times championed the rights of the poor and/or marginalized groups through landmark decisions (and not so well known but important decisions), i.e., Roe v. Wade, Brown v. Board of Education, many voting rights cases, etc. What impresses me about the US is that its people (in the collective sense) are always working towards a more perfect Union, overcoming past inequalities, and working towards a greater inclusion of historically marginalized groups such as blacks, women, and homosexuals. To think about it, even animals have some rights in the US.
Very well said! Please chop knuckle.
I noticed your intelligent posts on the original article and was waiting for your take on this. You did not disappoint.
Encore!!! I want to be as articulate and analytical as you are biko.
I am just glad some people still have a heart. Sensible response.
Thank you…We are so quick to defend our selves when someone speaks the truth and not truly see the point.
I trully am impressed with all the points made and yours…in the end all these are opinons, truths and all that will never see the light of day.
You have said very very well. The reason why so many people are up in arms against Adaobi’s article is the same reason why so many Nigerians fail GRE. The lack of reading comprehension and a resulting failure to see the forest for the trees.
Ore, we all know that if you are not bashing Nigeria, the New York Times is not interested in publishing you. If you want to test it, let Bella Naija send this response to them and let’s see if they are interested. In fact, I dare say that the reason why there is so much Nigeria bashing in foreign press is because anybody who wants to say anything good about us will not get published.
As for Tricia, I think that she just has daddy issues and is taking it out on Nigeria. Because, you can’t tell me that she doesn’t know people who are very nice to their domestic staff. Toyin, thank you for this.
As for all people being equal, it is only in the movies. And in theory. Every mature person has figured that out. There is nowhere on this planet where ALL people are equal.
ajiristyle.blogspot.com/
The Writer and the Writee! :I
bella naija, what happened to my comment?.lol..
“One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps. It is a much preferable institution than that of the western system of social welfare where, if you forgive the use of crude generalizations and vulgar oversimplifications, lazy people are supported by hardworking people being taxed.”
The fact that the writer said this and commenters are supporting this writer just shows the depravity of the Nigerian society . One of the greater good of the Nigerian society is the institution of house helps – the institution of child abuse, having an under aged house help is child abuse, plain and simple and saying that child abuse is a good institution is terrible and absurd, most of the househelps in Nigeria are under age and below the age of 18 and should be in school. It keeps them in the same social status and does not improve their lives. Classicism exists in Nigeria and the writer embarrasses this ideology. The welfare system exists so that everyone has the opportunity to be great and go to school and become who ever they want to be. House helps are supposed to be in school, not in your house cleaning, cooking and doing your every day chores. Everyone should have the opportunity to go to school to at least high school. I am so short of words, but like previous commenters have said, this is the same ideology that slave masters had, since I give them food and take “care” of them they should be grateful, because we give them Christmas chicken. It is Christmas chicken that will empower them or save their lives or change their destinies. If an adult person wants to become a house help that’s fine, that’s their choice, but when a child is sent away from home which in most times is against their will, it is not for the good of the society and should not be encouraged. And please most house helps especially the young ones are not treated well, they are abused and man handled. I am just short of words. God help our society.
my exact thoughts when i read that piece. All men equal in America of all places? She should go n tell that to the KKK n the average white racist.
Slaves were put to work without pay or compensation. They were obligated to staying on site at all times and they were brutally beaten and killed sometimes if they fail to oblige to their master. House helps are employees and they get a salary amongst other things. They are free to quit working for their Oga whenever they want. Please read up on slavery before you make such insensitive and harsh comparison.
And they lacked FREEDOM.
A big hole in the crap she wrote is, conveniently forgetting that these helps are not paid in line with the work they do. You compare what they have to do with maids in Europe or America. No washing machine most times its hand wash, cooking cleaning (most homes no vacuum cleaner), taking care of children, the list is endless. No scheduled lunch break, no scheduled days off or holidays, can I go on? House helps worked to the bone, on top of how much. You as a their Oga or Madam, will you accept to the paid so little in relation to the work that you do? Thats a rhetorical question. Toyin she should please tell me that her house helps were paid handsomely for their work. That i think is the real somebody nobody argument. Even if you treat them well, should you be praised for treating a fellow human being with dignity and respect? See this woman o, patting herself on the back or her parents on the back, for doing what is the Christian thing to do. If there wasn’t the somebody nobody attitude, will she come out and say, no o we treated ours well, as if they don’t deserve good treatment, so when you treat them well, you should be proud you are not the norm, and you now have the moral upper hand and you can write an article about it. Nonsense and ingredient. Will she come out and write that she treated her boss well? Mschew. Back to my question, how much these helps are paid, how much you pay your gateman, how much you pay your driver. They earn salaries YOU WILL NOT ACCEPT, but because they are nobodies, you pay what you can, after all you are giving them a job. THAT MY PEOPLE IS THE SOMEBODY NOBODY ARGUMENT, and Toyin just exposed herself clearly. I have a 9month old and a 3year old, I live in London, and what I pay for their childcare is above what the average UK wage is in a month. Just because you give them a roof over their head, exposure, bla bla yadi yada crap she just typed, in fact her article really vexes me, because the sanctimonious tone it was written.
This is an article from a ‘wannabe’ writer who wants to gain popularity for her unpublished book by attacking a renowned, published writer. Toyin, I advice that you concentrate on writing your own articles opinions or books and leave other writers to their opinions.
Thanks for the advice …I’ll just take it as what your name is…Oshi…xx
Thnks guys….and tnx especially to those who get what this article was meant to do.
Many comments show that some clearly chose a sentence and wrote a response…Slavery is a great evil and so is child labor….(coming from a girl who left NYSC grounds to complain when she found out that little kids were fetching water for us)
While many house helps are such because they are forced to be, many others are househelps because that is all they can do in a society that can’t educate all its people and provide jobs… and all I was trying to say is that being paid to help someone at home with chores and getting sent to school is a greater alternative than being out there with no hope for the future…Now, how people choose to treat those who work for them is entirely between them and God….(and this goes for people who work in banks, tv, offices or whatever)
xx
Being paid how much exactly. How much, because your snobbishness is unbelievable, or should I call it naivety. The maids in the country you are schooling in, how much are they paid? Okay, for argument sake let us not compare (silly argument though), but lets not. Even if they are paid little, but at least they see the money, it is their choice how they spend it. They have access to it, they have control over it. Can you say the same for house helps in Nigeria. Can you say the same for the ones you grew up with. A house help can work for a family for years, and not see ten kobo of the money she is working to the bone for. Correct me if I’m wrong. Did your house helps have scheduled lunch break, did they have allocated days off, did they have scheduled holidays to be taken in a year? Can I continue. Please that talk of their bosses doing them a favour, they getting paid for a life of servitude is the same argument slave masters made. Is there any redress by the law if they are maltreated, no. So Toyin what in the world are you talking about. Nigeria is unique, it should not be compared to the US. BS, simple BS. If there was a social welfare system, the practice of house helps would have been regularised, it will be a choice they made to work and they will have rights, they wont be paid peanuts. When social welfare is an option, no one will open their computer and type, they should be happy they are paid to get exposure. Exposure my foot. When you have children, send them to be maids in the White House, so they can get exposure.
Now you are saying that how people treat their maids is between them and God, when we know that a majority of people treat them if not badly, but like Kemi said people not worthy of eating the same food or being in your same space. Were your maids treated the same as you and given the same opportunities?
Let’s call a spade a spade and not get religious here, its not between them and God, its up to us to stand for that is wrong and cause a change, isn’t that what MLK and others did in America so that you can go to Hopkins, if they all said it was between Jim Crowe and God would there have been change?
It’s up to us as a society to educate people and to stand against people treating their maids wrongs and to change what has become to be known as the norm. I know some people treat their maids well and I think NGO’s need to take us this cause.
If Nigeria had social welfare, their services will be valued and well remunerated, just as you have it in Europe and America. Ask anyone you know who lives abroad how much they pay their maid. I know how much I am paying for just childcare alone, I still pick my kids from nursery and go home and do housework. The first maid my mother hired was a woman in her 40′s (older than my mum) she was with us for 12years, and she retired to open up her own shop. She was paid well, like very well. I know this because my mothers friends were abusing her for paying so much for a maid. I remember enough jests, Iyawo Olowo, iwo nikan na lo tobe, kilode, with half the money you will hire a small girl, not this madam you even talk to with small voice because she is older, to add further expense you even hired a washman for clothes. Your kids have chores, around the house, so what exactly does this woman do apart from cooking and light cleaning. Iyawo Olowo. My mum said, this woman has a family to feed, her conscience can’t allow her pay her peanuts, and she can never hire a small girl. Her children cannot grow up thinking they are better than someone, or they can command someone to do their bidding, or maids don’t deserve respect. Woe betide us if we were rude to Big Mummy, as she was called. She would smack us herself, and if we dared tell mumsie, mumsie will smack us times two, tell daddy, and you are in major trouble.This woman loved us like her own. When she left, my siblings and I cried for days. She taught me a lot of things I know now, she was our confidant, our co conspirator. She would beg for us, if we were in trouble. I remember her with fondness, and till date I send her money every year. She went to her family one long weekend every 3 months, and she always came back saying she missed us o (awon omo mi, was what she called us). During Christmas she was gone for 10days and we adjusted. Our second help was another older woman, who was with us for, wait for it, 16years. By the time she was leaving she had built her house in Ilorin. We used to call her Big Mummy 2. All of us send both Big Mummys money every year. She left 2 years ago, and now with the house empty of all kids, my parents hire someone who comes in the morning and goes home at night plus a washman. I had to share this, because we need to stop hiring children or even teenagers in 9ja. Hire an older woman, in fact the older than you the better. The experience is rich and full for your whole family. Your kids learn the value of respecting people in the service industry, no sense of entitlement, as if the helps existence is to serve them. There’s no room to maltreat an older woman, you tend not to change helps like dish rags. We only had two all my life. I remember reading The Help and watching the movie, and I missed both Big Mummy’s like crazy, the parts where the maids loved those children brought back so many precious memories. I feel sad my kids won’t get to experience that kind of relationship with another woman, that is not their mum.
You seem to be all over the place trying to make your point. Whether you send a house help to school or you give them a job the fact remains they are still categorized as nobodies in the society,unlike yourself from a privileged background.That is what the first writer Nwaubani wrote in her article.
Pls just get off this page……u accuse someone and u think u deserve an award for this article? How myopic to think the US is always used as a standard? The writer lives in the US so will she give an example from china? Ur article made no sense pls…..the house help concept in nigeria is laden with cases of child abuse, molestation etc……so my advice for u lady is if u want to be the best at what u do give a balanced report and not a short sighted angle like u gave…..as if the quality of clothes Ur parents bought u was the same as the house helps…..mmtssheww…
1) We need to understand that these house helps werent kidnapped from their homes by their bosses.
2) There’s a ready market for house helps inNigeria. So many ladies complaining here will still hire them and maybe,still treat them worse.
3) There are bad bosses, you’re right. And there are worse house helps. I’ll give examples. My friend caught her husband of 2yrs giving her 19yr old house help (the help is in training for makeup cos she said she didn’t want to go back to school) a head in the middle of the night. Pls don’t be silly and tell me it’s wholly the man’s fault.
A colleague’s cousin’s 3kids were infected with HIV by the house help. She knew she had HIV and was secretly using the kids’ toothbrushes. Well,she confessed though. Finally, my aunt once told me about her friend’ s maid who dipped their last child’s right hand into hot oil.
I’m not for or against the article by the way.
I’m not from a priviledged home so we never had house helps and I’ve told my hubby we’re not having any either. I’ve got a set of twins and God has been helping us in so many ways.
You can get HIV through sharing toothbrushes? -___-
Ummmm, yeah. Uncommon but not impossible. Gingival bleeding (from all those hard toothbrushes in naija), Kids have sores in or around the oral cavity including impetigo, HSV 1, etc. Best test (Madam the Madam lmao wtf) is you getting an HIV pt’s toothbrush and using to brush your teeth then I can personally test you and interpret your results, with confirmatory test too.
Wait, so because your friend’s hubby is chopping the househelp she should be maltreated? Wakeup call for you and your friend – Yes it is entirely HIS fault! He’s the one who took marriage vows, not the housegirl. Did she tie his head into her vagina – could he not have said no even if she openly begged him for sex? Next thing you will tell me one nonsense about how weak men are and how they cannot resist temptation. Or how the girl came from her village with jazz….This is the same mindset that Tricia was pointing to – people will find every excuse to paint the helps bad, as if they don’t matter.
I too didn’t know you could catch HIV from sharing toothbrushes (unless of course both parties have bleeding gums and are therefore exchanging bodily fluids).
For the person who dipped a child’s hand in hot oil – that’s just a mean person, end of. Whether or not they’re a househelp, they’re a meanie and should be handed straight to the police. I trust Naija police, they would have a field day!
The point remains that people should not be treated like nobodies. If they have committed crimes or offences they should be dealt with that way.
And oh, just so you know – a significant number of these helps are actually ‘kidnapped’, hence some of them end up running away – unfortunately, sometimes from frying pan into the fire. There is a market for them in our big cities, with well known suppliers. Just because they are not crossing international borders does not mean it is not child trafficking and yes, sometimes struggling parents actually give up their children to be placed as househelps but it is rarely ever done willingly, nor do the children go willingly.
Some of them were in fact kidnapped.If you want to be sure yours was not,then follow the kid to his family house.Don’t use any middle man
“My mother treated our house helps like us and bought them clothes regularly, just as they did for us”…………….Toyin, please this statement can never be true; house-helps may be treated well, but never like us!!! The house help doesn’t go to private schools, doesn’t get the same ‘quality/brand’ of clothes, doesn’t dare watch TV with us while mummy is busy, doesn’t go on vacation like us etc……
Thank you very much. The concept of house helps is good. If you had older children in Nigeria for example, won’t he or she be the one to assist the working mother? When I was much younger, my mum was a working and busy mum and my elder sister practically took care of the rest 5 siblings. She cooked, washed and cleaned for everyone and pray tell, she was just in JSS3 at that time. Does that mean she was a slave? Or is it because the house helps are not of the same blood every one assumes that it’s slavery? If your house hold didn’t treat your house help well don’t assume that others didn’t too. And no one should say films because what we see in Nollywood is most times not reality. Heck I already have uncles and aunties who are in the village and have bitten more than they can chew (have more kids than they can possibly take care of) and have already booked down for their kids to come help me in the city so that they can have a better life or reduce the burden on them. Is that a good idea? For me that is one of the ways I can help. Nothing is free in this world, even my kids would have to work hard in school and get good results to show that money spent on them was not a waste. Is there a problem with that? Maybe they should also tell those people in the village who are poor to stop having kids or to stop being poor. This is one of Nigeria’s welfare system.
It can also be compared to those igbo boys who are brought from the village and assist their masters in the shop for some number of years and after that they are settled. Some have good masters and others bad, but would you paint the whole system bad? No I would not, its a very good system so is the house help one.
Parents have more kids than they can cater for and thus, their children suffer, so they distribute their children to live with strange people to work and carry out their financial duties for them in fending for them and their other kids. Now these strangers feel they are helping these kids because they know where they are coming from. Some of these kids are as young as 8 even 6 years old; they have no childhood and are totally subject to the mercy of these strangers for their basic needs. They know no one and if they are maltreated there is no one to save them. No law to protect them, till they are older and brave enough to run off or get use to the abuse. For those that said it’s only in the movies , where helps eat leftover food, work for long hours and sleep on the floor you are so oblivious of the world others live in!!!
There is a vicious cycle therein, you don’t get sent to live with strangers, you enjoy your ‘childhood’ with your parents but very minimal education, no exposure so eventually you get older and marry young to escape the poverty of your parents only to continue your parents legacy cause you don’t know better. Or you get sent to live with strangers you have a 50/50 chance of getting a good education, exposure and not been abused or you still don’t get either of these and you suffer more. A lot of people commenting here are from privileged homes so of course to them the ideas of having a house help is normal even if it’s a kid, if they are nice to them then they feel righteous. Well, for the kids that at least made it to a kind person’s home it maybe so but when you hear the other side of the story, the horror stories of kids been molested and maltreated in every despicable way some treated like street dogs, you with John Hopkins or Harvard education would scram!
I never was a house help even though am not from a privileged home but I had cousins and aunts that were and believe me the stories were horrific, the pain, feelings of betrayal, fear, loneliness and scars and I mean physical scars. Did it at least give them an opportunity to a better life No, it only exposed them early on to the mean nature of humans. Working like farm animals, feed like stray dogs.
True some were fortunate enough to work for kind people but there is a higher incidence of those that got into the hands of mean people. You want to write an article about something you saw but never experienced make acquitances with people that worked as house helps and find out how they really feel and how life is for them from their perspective. Instead of all these butty tins#
A good and articulate article but I don’t necessarily agree with all of it.
nenisnaija.blogspot.com/
a “couple” ? a lot more than a couple, don’t you think? what you are talking about is not as prevalent in the us as it is in nigeria. in the US, a kid from a dirt poor home, will still have the opportunity to have free education to the level of high school, then university can be free too, if the child strives for it. In Nigeria we can only dream of such so yea, the initial article holds more water than this “The americans are doing it too” argument.
I totally disagree with this writer and I am pretty irritated that I just wasted my precious time reading this drivel. The writer should have left Hopkins and taken up employment as a househelp since it is such a wonderful institution. Rubbish!
LMAO, luv it!
The system has failed these people, the same system that supported and built our recycled rulers. Obansanjo and co went to school on the government (many sha), those going to school on government now have to carry their own desk to school! We are speaking of opportunities being available, its one thing to have it and squander it, its another thing not to have it at your disposal. Because you are blessed, got lucky or magomagoed your way into money and a better life does not mean you close your eyes to reality and speak out of your ass.
So I just got a new househelp, she wants to go to school and needs to save some money, I intend to help her, she seems to be a nice enough girl that I’m learning to trust. She’s twenty. No I will not send her to the same kind of private school I would send my own kids. It she will get an education if she stays with me. The househelp “institution” can be a sort of welfare arrangement. And yes it is a better alternative than than the life she just left in the village. That’s just life, I tell her if she wants to change her life she must go to school. Does being a househelp make her less than my kids? No. But life’s not fair. She will have it tougher and will have to claw her way out of the station she was born into.
Solutions-
I think that structures need to be put in place to take care of domestic staff like getting into unions , changing and enforcing the laws especially as regards sexual harassment and age limits.
The problem is many people writing here live abroad..USA is just too advanced structurally in comparism to 9ja at the mo…a lot of abuse goes in Europe and USA the only difference is when the law catches up with you..you pay the penalty….
Leftovers?..eat in kitchen??..not all folks..When 9ja was sweet we took our househelp with us on a summer vacation to Europe suffice to say she did betray us in the end..but I digress
Exactly how can you compare a society that has free education to one that is preoccupied with keeping it exclusive to a SELECT few..to the extent that most of the Federal Schools and Universities have been left to rot..its so sad to see this Institutions a shadow of themselves
Most still miss the message the Author is putting across..how come almost 70% of Graduates cannnot get a job rephrase that interview..whilst the Children of Politicians and favoured Businessmen get to go to the plushest schools abroad and head a company doing nothing..just cos of Daddy and Mommy’s connection..
Most forget some of those Graduates could have been potential houselhelps but the parents sacrificed and managed to send them to Uni..and unfortunately we now have people like Dangote telling them they can apply for jobs as Truck Drivers..oh the irony.. the SYSTEM is set up to make the common man fail…turning our girls to RUNS and guys to Fraud/Music..don’t blame the people..we all victims…once we have a functioning society we would gladly pay the going rates for Househelps and Aupairs..
Although i donot agree with the statement: ‘one of the greater good of the nigerian society is the institution of househelps…………’ i however would like to say that you donot expect people to treat their helps like their own children. Heck i think if you send them to school, pay them and feed and cloth them you have done more good than their parents or the nigerian govt would ever do for them.
Personally, i would never have a help. im not against people having one. my mum has one she sends to school, feed and cloth and all she does is wash plates, sweep and mop, turn the gen on and off and open and shut the gate. I shouldn’t feel bad just because i was priviledged enough to be born into a financially ok family.
MY point is as long as you donot maltreat or overwork them and as long as you treat them well and make a difference in their lives by sending them to school or to learn a trade then you are good to go. My mum does the cooking, shopping and i do the washing despite the fact that she has a help.
Their parents also have the responsibility to give birth to the number of children they can train and stop shifting responsibility!
This article was clearly written from the perspective of someone who has only lived abroad for a couple of months and still has no grasp of what “equality” and fair treatment means. So your mom let you call the househelps “aunty ” and also bought them clothes and that made them your equals? Did they go to the same schools you did? Did you share their chores? Many househelps are underaged and do not even get paid. Just because 1% treat their househelps right does not mean there isn’t a problem.
O girl, this is a good response. What is the difference between the attitude and characters of people regardless of their location – be it Nigeria or U.S? I thank God that I have had the opportunity of coming to the UK and I can say it is even worse in some ways than Nigeria.Whether we like it or not, there will always be a gap between the rich and the poor, racial supremacy etc. It was there before we were born and it will still be there when we die. If not, I dare anyone to show me a leading( not best supporting) black actor/ actress in Hollywood in 2012/2013
What is worse that in uk or America u see an underage help or au pair and nothing is done…..ple might get away with it in us or America but if the law catches up with them then they pay for it….so there is a clear difference here so we don’t have to be patriotic and not say the truth…..the truth is that poverty exist both uk and America so these things happen but cos a nigerian has mentioned it in New York and another one has seemingly made it sound like she is a traitor does not make her a hero….
scandal-kerry w. and halle berryin monsters ball, etc
There is a huge difference between construstive criticism and blatant insult! Some of you here blur the lines between the two. Do not ever draw conclusions about people unless you know them personally, just talk about their work and leave. I don’t necessarily agree with all of toyin or tricia’s points but i try to view their articles from their point of view and understand the idea behind them. This article expresses the writer’s disappointment at the angle Tricia directed her article. Yes she agrees to Tricia’s point about social inequality in Nigeria but she expected Tricia to address the issue from another angle.
Nobody forces anyone to be a house help. If you do not belief in it, simply do not send your loved one to live with a stranger you barely know.
The strnger is not anyway obligated to raise your child for you. It would morally right to do so, but it is not an obligation.
How about parents who send their kids to hawk, etc.
Are we going to blame rich people for that too?
1. The Nigerian society is what forces a lot of them to be house helps
2. I don’t understand how any sane person would hire a child (a minor) as a maid. In addition to hiring a minor, most of the time they are treated worse than the way any sane person will treat an animal. Nobody is asking households to raise them; all we are saying is treat them like human beings or the same way you would want your children to be treated. They shouldn’t be treated like second class human beings.
Meant… It would be morally right to do so.
This article is the reason why Nigeria is still impoverished and we aren’t going to move forward anytime soon. All men are equal does not mean all bank accounts are equal, it means all men are given the same basic human rights. That does not hold true in Nigeria. And how Wall Street looks at workers in Starbucks is irrelevant because personal opinions don’t matter in the law. You cannot force a rich man to look at a poor man as his equal but in America, a rich man and a poor man have the same human rights and it is enforceable. Take a good look at Nigeria and if u think it’s the same then I have no words for you. We are all “passionate” about Nigeria but if you don’t admit we have failed as a country, our destiny will remain FAILURe
Thank you, Ada!
I was sitting here boiling in my seat as I read this article.
“Does the writer really believe that investors on Wall Street consider the coffee makers at Starbucks their equals, or that the Kennedys consider every average American their political equal?”
No, I do not believe that this is what the writer believes nor should it be mandated that anyone consider anyone as their equal. HOWEVER, what is essential is that the Wall Street investor and the Kennedy’s TREAT each individual as their equal, regardless of who that person is. That is what is missing in Nigeria. Our interactions with people are based on their level of socioeconomic, political and/or religious status. Take for instance a 40 year old bank manager and a 40 year old hawker. Which one would be deemed an “Oga?” That is precisely the problem; we place so much emphasis on nonsensical attributes that we overlook the true worth of individuals! In a place like America, Barak Obama himself dare not ever insult a homeless man. The American public would finish him! But in Nigeria, the elite can never do wrong and thus abuse the concept of freedom while the “small men” suffer.
Yes, it is true that inequalities will always exists in societies, both here and abroad, but the fundamental question is how best can we diminish such inequalities so that whether you are a rich man or a poor man you still have the ability to become a GREAT man.
I have read both articles and the comments so……where to start?
1st , the point of Toyin’s article was to show that for such a topic, using househelps as focal point was simply asinine, I’m sorry there’s just no other way to put it. Nigeria has way bigger problems than that. Now to all those up in arms about househelps;
When you compare the institution of househelps to slavery, you are not only minimizing a heinous crime but you are also insulting everyone that has been a victim of slavery or has worked to abolish it so please desist from doing that. If you do not know the differences let me point out one germane to this article; consent! Whether or not you agree with the way househelps are treated, they are not forced by the employer to work for them. It’s either by their consent or their parents consents. Secondly not all househelps are underaged so cut the crap about child labor. Now everyone is talking about welfare and how there should not be househelps, please take a minute, join me and indulge in realism. The government is not helping the underprivileged, all of you calling Toyin a slave master are not going to villages to adopt these children, so if they are not househelps can one of you please offer a viable alternative? I will really like to read that because the truth is whether or not you like it, there is none. It is their best shot. Yes they should not be treated badly, but let’s be honest most of them are not. Someone mentioned them doing jobs nobody else can do, that is untrue, everything they do can and usually has been done by members of the households that employ them, remember househelps don’t get to their employers homes trained, so how can you train someone if you haven’t done the chores yourself, maybe more to the point is the fact that these househelps, if they stayed home, will do the same jobs and not be paid for it. Abuse? Many of these kids are abused in their parent’s houses, because the parents have no time or energy to tend to them. Neighbors abuse them, uncles abuse them. Of course abuse and ill treatment are wrong but let’s not act like it’s the norm for every house help, it of course is not! Someone mentioned that Toyin should not talk about the US welfare system, why the hell not, it’s a mess and her tax dollars are paying for it! Please don’t call her a liar, you did not live in her house and you only have your own experiences and stories you’ve heard; we’re all limited in that way. But allow me to make this comparison; an overwhelming majority of children of parents on welfare end up on welfare, on the other hand, a majority of children of househelps do not end up being househelps. You really think that is not better? In a perfect world Children will have free schooling and food at school until they are done with high school and scholarships to college or a trade right? However even if that happened, are there jobs available for these kids after college? The masses of educated unemployed Nigerians will argue otherwise. Adaobi’s article was arrant nonsense, if you’re going to present a Nigerian problem to the world, make it a real problem, don’t get up in arms about househelps. I’m sure most of the commenters do not live in the US, if they did, they would know how good househelps had it. I know people in the US that work and are homeless! And more likely than not, if you are an unskilled laborer like a househelp you will not even be given the chance to earn a living. Although I hate to, I will have to add a personal example; after college, I spent some time with a family, they had a girl, househelp about 8 years old, called Eunice (let’s say). Eunice was in school and all she could do was fetch water. So she would go to school, fetch water before school and after school do her homework. There were 3 of us college graduates in the house so we cooked for Eunice even when we didn’t want to eat and helped her with her homework. We were young single girls but no matter what was happening in town, one of us had to stay home with Eunice because she couldn’t stay alone. Now tell me, who got the better end of that deal? I don’t know where she is now, but if she was in school in her uneducated parent’s house, how well do you think she could do in school? And she will still be fetching water and not eating properly. She was basically adopted, homework and lessons from graduates in 3 different fields, intelligent conversation to form her mind and exposure. You would prefer welfare, a mum that smokes or drinks the money away and a shot at her being pregnant as a teenager so she can get on welfare? So while it’s fun and actually educative to criticize an opinion, please make sure you’ve thought it through before spewing venom. Another person said we should nullify the institution of househelps, okay let’s try that experiment. You think magically the government will step in and take care of these people? Sure not all househelps are treated right but also in the US and around the world, not all employees are treated right either! Nobody, Toyin least of all I’m sure thinks househelps should be treated badly but that is a human problem. Yes thank God Toyin was not a houshelp, and thank God none of you commenters was one, but guess what, thank God for homes willing to employ underprivileged people and at the very least let them earn an honest living. And I don’t know what US some of the commenters live in, but a child from a poor home may go to school free until after high school but the quality of education, that alone, apart from college fees and the necessity to work to sustain themselves usually makes it quite certain that they don’t get into college. Oh for the spiritual guy, I love God, but faith without works is dead says James. Nigerians love spiritualism, pray by all means, understand spiritual things but don’t use it as an excuse for ignoring the real work God has given you. And for everyone that attacked Toyin’s faith; I understand that Toyin does not support slavery (I can’t even see why that is coming up and I am ashamed that I have to stoop to address it) but when you ask what Bible she reads, you do know that Paul talks about slaves obeying their masters right (tongue in cheek) make sure you read your Bible before you condemn another person’s reading!
At ao; Toyin compared Nigerian to the US because Adaobi started down that part not because she supports the comparison, it is also the reason she talks about househelps; you can only address a person in their language if you want to be understood. Yes animals have rights in the US; in fact they have more rights than humans! It is true, Nigeria is not great at human rights, but neither is the US, read about Emmet Till and why is Trevon Martin’s killer not only free but now rich? Or why do republicans talk about “legitimate rape” and why would many of them rather kill a woman than let her get an abortion, but I digress, those are US specific issues. However I have to disagree with you, human rights is a joke in the US unless you’re a white male, the US just does a better job of covering it up. I could go on but it will be lengthy. And the poor man in the US has no way to even the playing field, heck the middle class cannot even the playing field, all you need to do is pay attention to economic news to see that. No I disagree; a poor man in the US is well and truly (insert expletive and excuse my French). You do of course make a good point, the US has better ways of enforcing laws, better justice system and perhaps that is what Adaobi should have expended her energy on.
I must end with this, Toyin may be biased, but I will rather see bias for Nigeria than against it, I do not understand why Nigerians are so quick to denigrate Nigeria. If we remain quick to see only fault in our nation, then we are lost. The point of opinions should not be to air our dirty laundry to the world and allow them to mock us; it should be to start a reasonable discussion on how to fix our problems.
The killing of Emmett Till occurred almost 60 years ago at a time that black Americans were marginalized. Since that time, America has come a long way and that is my point: America is always moving towards a more perfect Union of inclusion. In 1955, when Emmett was murdered, very few would have believed that in 2008 and 2012 that a person of color – a black man with his black wife – would be president and first lady of the United States. That is progress. In addition, the Emmitt Till case did not just end with the failure to indict the whites that killed him. There were other court matters related to indicting his killers that occurred decades later in 2007. Unfortunately, nothing came out of it, but the point is that there was an effort to revive a cold case. In Nigeria an Abia State University female student was raped and the act was videotaped and nothing was done.
Trevon Martin’s killer was granted bail after a bail hearing and to state that he is “free” is rather misleading. The trial of George Zimmerman, the killer, is coming up. Mr. Zimmerman’s passports have been seized and he has been banned from traveling outside of the US. As for him being rich, I do not know his financial status. I am aware that Mr. Zimmerman received private donations from individuals that felt that he was justified in killing Trevon and he was given the money to pay for his legal defense. He had to report the money to the court and he cannot use the money as he chooses. This is far from being rich.
The term “legitimate rape” was a term that was used by ONE republican (and not republicans as you state) to explain his position on whether a woman should have the right to get an abortion after becoming pregnant as a result of rape. As you may know, this republican LOST the election to an democrat that rejected the notion of “legitimate rape”. In addition, many people including President Obama condemned the republican for using the term “legitimate rape”. Are we watching the same news?
@ Ada the idea that equal rights are enforceable in the US is an illusion, yes on some level they do try but it is not enforceable. However Adaobi did not even address “enforceabilty’, she addressed personal attitudes, that is why the Wallstreet – starbucks dynamic is relevant
Equal rights are enforceable in America. Enforceable does not mean justice is always served. There are going to be loopholes in every system.
Slap your house girl in Nigeria, nothing happens. Go and slap your employee in the US and see what happens.
Like I said, this article is the reason why Nigeria is the pathetic nation that it is right now.
The mentality is embedded in us.
I don’t understand these comparism of Nigeria with the west.
Nigeria does not have social welfare….fact.
The government has the responsibility of caring for their citizens not regular folks.
Not all poor families send their kids away to serve strangers…Fact.
Child abuse exists in Nigeria even when these kids are living with their parents.
Before people seek for house helps, they have probably decided the number of kids they can handle so they might not be able to add to that number, hence they cannot give the house help the same education.
Personally,I believe kids should live and bound with their families.I do not wish to raise anyone’s child. Even if I am paying your school fees, clothing you, you must live with your parents.No place is like home.Blood is thicker than water.
I intend to keep my children,too.
I give this article an F.
I am South African and I was shocked when I visisted a family in Ghana and how they treated her. The domestic lady every morning will take the man of the house bag and take it to the car and when he comes back she runs and do the same. The wife was a housewife. It was a culture shock and asked the lady of the house why the domestic seem to do everything for the husband except maybe not sleep with him. Her response was that her husband will never look her way as she is not her type. I kept my mouth shut but just wondered on the ignorance. The other thing the domestic was very young and she was at the age she could be at schools and this was a christian family and I wondered how do they employ a young lady and not make provision for her to further her schooling. The most shocking thing was that the domestic shared her room with the wife younger brother and it never made sense to me. I asked myself if tomorrow she is pregnant and its him what will they do? The lady of the house will just shout at the girl and the kids were spoiled brats. I grew up with domestic help at home and we had our own chores we had to do even though she was there and school holidays my mother will send her home so we can also be domesticated and this what I witnessed was a culture shock. My male colleaque once said his wife is so lazy that even when the child cries she shouts for the domestic and he was sick and tired of her not being hands on. I wont generalise and say this happen at some certain countries but domestics some are abused physically, emotionally, sexually and spiritually.
Ya know, if Jay Z and Beyonce offered me a room in his crib and all I had to do was eat their left over filet mignon, carry his bag everywhere, heck even do his laundry. And I get paid some cash too. Rather than being stuck in the village or ghetto. That ain’t abuse jooooo. Look my mother made me do chores for the household (including uncles and aunties), wooped the living daylight out of my behind when i was bad (including breaking plates). SHE TAUGHT ME RESPONSIBILITY, HARDWORK, PERSEVERENCE, PATIENCE. Yes I am my mother’s child. I turned out pretty good I think ( cruising in my porsche (debt free too) blasting Tupac, “Dear Mama”. I love my mother period. I digressed, moral of the story is never get stuck in a situation, no matter how bad it is,…there is always an opportunity in it but you gotta do the time. Nothing in this life is given. Honestly I’m not trying to show off but share my values….hustle hard.
We have had househelps who get paid, sleep on bed, eat same food with us, get days off, its a job, U get paid for it. If u dont like the wages, quit! and for those saying do they go to same school as the children of the house, how possble is dat? Do i tell my employer to pay for my master’s degree in same school as his kids? NO because am not a charity case. Some people are mean and you dont need to be their housemaid before they show it.
Abi oh……. My mom made sure i do my share of chores at home……i sweep, i wash the bathtub ,bathroom walls,toilet bowl evety morning after taking my bath…..dem no buy me well to call sikira to it! The only person that ve the authority to send her on any errands was mummy and she also goes to shop to learn how to sew! When she goes to kwara for ileya ,you need to see the ghana must go bags full of clothes and other stuffs and she will come back with nothing! The cloth buying circle starts all over again! Now shes in kwara ,happily married with 2 kids!
This Toyin’s body is just to hot. Sorry o Madam, first lady of the Nigerian Supporters club. We should send this to Goodluckn confer a National Honour on youu. Will OON do, or do you want CFR. There can never be a justification for hiring a child as a help. Never. Like someone said above, when you have children, send them to be maids in the White House, so they can . At least even if you have monney, nothing you can give them can beat the exposure they will get in the White House. Since as you said, the exposure these helps get is better than what their parents can give them. No child should ever have to serve as a maid. Some as young as 8. That’s just insane, no matter how you justify it. For Toyin herself to say in a comment above, that how you treat your help is between you and God, is just very very sad. A Johns Hopkins student can say that, in fact for that one statement you wrote, negates everything you tried to do. That, people who are defending Toyin’s article, there you have it. I’l likke you supporters club to explain that please. It goes to show the mentality behind her article, and she should be ashamed of herself for saying that. People, stop hiring children, hire adults for goodness sake. When you do, pay them well. You won’t hire an 8yr old driver, why hire a child as a maid. You won’t hire an 8yr old gateman, you won’t hire a child for anything else. So why, hire a child as a maid. BN, u guys should be proud about the crop of readers you have acquired over the years. Bravo. There is more intelligence on this post, than some scholarly articles combined.
Ya know, if Jay Z and Beyonce offered me a room in his crib and all I had to do was eat their left over filet mignon, carry his bag everywhere, heck even do his laundry. And I get paid some cash too. Rather than being stuck in the village or ghetto. That ain’t abuse jooooo. Look my mother made me do chores for the household (including uncles and aunties), wooped the living daylight out of my behind when i was bad (including breaking plates). SHE TAUGHT ME RESPONSIBILITY, HARDWORK, PERSEVERENCE, PATIENCE. Yes I am my mother’s child. I turned out pretty good I think ( cruising in my porsche (debt free too) blasting Tupac, “Dear Mama”. I love my mother period. I digressed, moral of the story is never get stuck in a situation, no matter how bad it is,…there is always an opportunity in it but you gotta do the time. Nothing in this life is given. Honestly I’m not trying to show off but share my values….hustle hard.
Some of them were in fact kidnapped.If you want to be sure yours was not,then follow the kid to his family house.Don’t use any middle man
there’s a big difference between having your mom beat you and having another person beat you when your mom is not there to stop them.YOu’re hustled when you grew. Your mom beat you herself. She didn’t send you off to someone’s house to get beaten.An 8 year old should know nothing about hustling. She should be going to school, doing her homework and a few chores here and there. Stop stealing their childhood
This response clearly got the wrong message from Adobi’s message, the focal point was neither house help or a comparison of Nigeria to USA it was about equality, being humane towards others and realizing we are all people regardless of class and background. The house girl story was a mere illustration of this, the attack is unwarranted as far as I see.
Nobody gets fired after being late 3 times, I believe you get a query, a polite one at that not get screamed at. Yes they are employees, but we all know if you work in a hostile environment in america, you sue or something, but I digress.
I understand adaobi’s point to be we need to treat each other fairly, she is referring to average Nigerians treating other Nigerians poorly, this is where development starts and progress in the way we relate to one another. She did not say the househelp industry was horrific, she appeals to be more gentle with those in the institution, the truth in on average more people treat house helps badly than kind if we are all honest with ourselves. They are not slaves, they are employees.
This response points out expecting a discussion around graduates without jobs, well they have options, according to this response house helps do not other than crime, and what I get from that is house help situation doesn’t even warrant discussion. This prejudice and Bigotry is exactly what Adaobi was referring to in her article. She choose the simplest illustrations and somehow Nigerians felt this was an attack and conveniently missed the point of the article. No one is comparing two countries, even if she did how are we missing that as the secondary point and missing the primary message!
Be ye kind to one another…because you are not equal does not mean be harsh.
By the way, this somebody-nobody mentality is the reason why there are so many nemployed graduates. It is the reason why your parents want you to be a doctor or engineer and not a musician (because musicians, artists, etc are nobodies; even though that is changing because they make more money now in Nigeria), it is the reason why corruption exists, it is the reason why aunties want you to use your right hand to give them things, it is the reason why customer service is garbage, it is the reason why there can never be welfare in nigeria, it is the reason why people spend time and energy doing “eye service”, it is the reason why….. should i continue?
Please wake up, your country is dying….
No vex oh, Voltron of Nigeria. Why didn’t u pursue your master’s degree in Nigeria. Be there telling us how great Nigeria is from the U.S. Come back now and then defend the country from here. NIGERIA NEEDS HELP. END OF DISCUSSION.