Can You Actually Leave the ‘Friend Zone’?Posted on Friday, October 25th, 2013 at 10:45 AM
I love my girlfriends. We share ALMOST everything…intangible – gist, pain, laughter, lovenotmen, beauty tips, anything really.
“I don’t want him in the friendzone again jor. Chizzy is right. It’s really impossible for a boy and a girl to stay just friends. Sooner or later one will fall for the other.” blurted Gloria.
“Huh? …from where to where? Where is that coming from?” I retorted.
We all knew who she was talking about. Demilade, our good-looking, down-to-earth, funny, kind buddy of many years.
Demilade and Gloria met some years back. To the best of my knowledge, they’ve never dated. In fact when they met some years ago, Gloria was dating someone else at the time and Demilade respected her relationship. He gradually became a close friend.
They talked about anything and everything. They cared so much about each other and had each other’s back…like siblings. Demilade was that kind of sib that could help a sister buy sanitary pad from a store without feeling like his manhood had been stolen. Friend of life. She called him up whenever she had issues with her boyfriend and he would console and give her the much needed advice on how to sort things out. She shared her daily experiences with toasters on the streets or fights with colleagues at work via phone calls, BBM, Yahoo messenger, Skype…you name it. They communicated in some way, everyday.
Once, she complained of long-time male friends who suddenly wanted more than being just friends and told him how ridiculous that was and he assured her that he was different plus swore he’d never ask her out. He was more than content with just being her friend and being there for her and nothing else. He was her rant buddy. He also shared his daily concerns with her. Once, he told her of a girl he liked and she gave him some tips on how to get the girl’s attention and how not to mess up their first date. She did this without the slightest tinge of jealousy. They knew their boundaries. They were in each other’s friend zones and not complaining.
Few years and a broken relationship later, my dear friend Gloria wants something more. Why on God’s green earth would she want to begin to date someone new, right from the scratch when she has right in front of her, a guy who’s been her buddy for several years, a guy who knows all about her and loves (platonic, I think?) her all the same. He stood by her all through her broken-hearted phase and constantly reassured her that she’d find someone better…someone who deserved her.
He’s right. She deserves someone better. She deserves him. Gloria wants Demilade, her best friend who she zoned for several years. She can’t listen to Justin Timberlake’s ‘Mirrors’ without thinking of him. She’s attracted to him now, in a I-love-you-I-need-you-we-are-meant-to-be-together kind of way. She’s certain he loves her too, she can tell from the way he looks into her eyes, hold her hand as they walk down the road, unbothered by staring eyes. You may have seen them a couple of times either in a mall or a galleria or a bar and must have admired how much in love they were and perhaps made comments on the fact that they look so good together. They get comments like that a lot. But the truth is: They’re NOT lovers…we know better. They’re just friends. They ain’t dating…yet.
Maybe, just maybe, it is truly impossible for a girl and guy to stay ‘just friends’ and nothing else. Sooner or later, one will fall for the other. She wants him out of the friendzone after keeping him there for so long. But how does she go about it without coming off as a ‘hoe’? Have you ever found yourself falling in love with a friend that you once zoned?
Photo Credit: madamenoire.com
MzChizzy is the writer behind bottleforthepain.wordpress.com. She thinks for a living. She can simultaneously be the nicest and meanest person you’d ever meet. She loves fufu more than life itself and hates taking pictures with a passion. Follow her on twitter @Mzz_Chizzy ‘cos you won’t find her on Instagram.