Can You Actually Leave the ‘Friend Zone’?

I love my girlfriends. We share ALMOST everything…intangible – gist, pain, laughter, lovenotmen, beauty tips, anything really.
I don’t want him in the friendzone again jor. Chizzy is right. It’s really impossible for a boy and a girl to stay just friends. Sooner or later one will fall for the other.” blurted Gloria.
Huh? …from where to where? Where is that coming from?” I retorted.

We all knew who she was talking about. Demilade, our good-looking, down-to-earth, funny, kind buddy of many years.
Demilade and Gloria met some years back. To the best of my knowledge, they’ve never dated. In fact when they met some years ago, Gloria was dating someone else at the time and Demilade respected her relationship. He gradually became a close friend.
They talked about anything and everything. They cared so much about each other and had each other’s back…like siblings. Demilade was that kind of sib that could help a sister buy sanitary pad from a store without feeling like his manhood had been stolen. Friend of life. She called him up whenever she had issues with her boyfriend and he would console and give her the much needed advice on how to sort things out. She shared her daily experiences with toasters on the streets or fights with colleagues at work via phone calls, BBM, Yahoo messenger, Skype…you name it. They communicated in some way, everyday.

Once, she complained of long-time male friends who suddenly wanted more than being just friends and told him how ridiculous that was and he assured her that he was different plus swore he’d never ask her out. He was more than content with just being her friend and being there for her and nothing else. He was her rant buddy. He also shared his daily concerns with her. Once, he told her of a girl he liked and she gave him some tips on how to get the girl’s attention and how not to mess up their first date. She did this without the slightest tinge of jealousy. They knew their boundaries. They were in each other’s friend zones and not complaining.

Few years and a broken relationship later, my dear friend Gloria wants something more. Why on God’s green earth would she want to begin to date someone new, right from the scratch when she has right in front of her, a guy who’s been her buddy for several years, a guy who knows all about her and loves (platonic, I think?) her all the same. He stood by her all through her broken-hearted phase and constantly reassured her that she’d find someone better…someone who deserved her.

He’s right. She deserves someone better. She deserves him. Gloria wants Demilade, her best friend who she zoned for several years. She can’t listen to Justin Timberlake’s ‘Mirrors’ without thinking of him. She’s attracted to him now, in a I-love-you-I-need-you-we-are-meant-to-be-together kind of way. She’s certain he loves her too, she can tell from the way he looks into her eyes, hold her hand as they walk down the road, unbothered by staring eyes. You may have seen them a couple of times either in a mall or a galleria or a bar and must have admired how much in love they were and perhaps made comments on the fact that they look so good together. They get comments like that a lot. But the truth is: They’re NOT lovers…we know better. They’re just friends. They ain’t dating…yet.

Maybe, just maybe, it is truly impossible for a girl and guy to stay ‘just friends’ and nothing else. Sooner or later, one will fall for the other. She wants him out of the friendzone after keeping him there for so long. But how does she go about it without coming off as a ‘hoe’? Have you ever found yourself falling in love with a friend that you once zoned?

Photo Credit: madamenoire.com

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MzChizzy is the writer behind bottleforthepain.wordpress.com. She thinks for a living. She can simultaneously be the nicest and meanest person you’d ever meet. She loves fufu more than life itself and hates taking pictures with a passion. Follow her on twitter @Mzz_Chizzy ‘cos you won’t find her on Instagram.

82 Comments on Can You Actually Leave the ‘Friend Zone’?
  • Non professional opinion October 25, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Bad idea. Once the initial glow has worn off, there is the potential for him to develop resentments about why he wasn’t good enough in the past, and all the “inner jist” you gave him while buddies will become ammunition during your next fight. Men are more petty than you think.

    • Mimi October 25, 2013 at 11:48 am

      I completely agree with you…………he knows too much, there’s really no mystery anymore

      • nwanyi na aga aga October 25, 2013 at 1:06 pm

        I concur…the drudgery of such relationship will amaze you. No mystery at all in short blank and tedious is the best word to describe what will happen after the initial spark/glow.

    • Brown sugar October 25, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      I agree also.

  • Myopinion October 25, 2013 at 11:10 am

    Sincerely I have never encountered such thing. I guess a lot of guys want me out of the friend zone issh. I hate when we are cool and you end up flling in love with me especially when we are like the above story. Those days it hppened I start to regret everything. Most times my friends can tell that this zone thing because they predict accuratelythat he will end up falling in love with me.

    To me I think guys break the promise of friend zone than girls and I just wonder why a guy can’t remain friend zoned….like seriously WHY

  • daintyt October 25, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Waiting for comments o jare

  • Alex October 25, 2013 at 11:28 am

    yyyyyeeesss! it happened to me…my bestfriend from high school was a guy…we started out as just friends…wen we found out we were from same village it drew us closer unto brother sister level…fastfoward to wen he got admitted in to KNUST n I a distinguished university here in Naija…we kept in touch though thru calls, textmessages, whatsapp, bbm etc u know dat thingy dey say about absence making the heart grow fonder or sumfin I totally agree..I missed him like crazy n he me too…i started having funny feelings for him…i always planned on how to set up a date with him n tell him ow I felt anytime he comes back buh it neva happened cos I thot it will dent the closeness between us until one day during one of his long vac I went to welcome him back to Naija @ his place…we were chatty chatty n all wen he paused for a min or two, looked @ me in a sort of deep way n said he had something to say that has bin in his mind for years…n it came out straight from his mouth…he felt same way n wanted us to start sumfin… afta d long sermon…Only God knows how elated I was…just can”t describe the feeling….its beyond mere words.

    • I formerly known as Miss Anonymous October 25, 2013 at 1:10 pm

      But you didn’t finish the story…..are you two still together? :-)

      • sisi October 25, 2013 at 2:49 pm

        Imagine, abeg what happend nawwww

      • Alex October 25, 2013 at 3:12 pm

        hehehe…yeah sure…this relationship is the best I eva had amongst odaz

      • Evilicious October 29, 2013 at 3:42 pm

        Lmao!

  • Smitchy October 25, 2013 at 11:29 am

    D above story z jst lyk dat of my bf n i. I had friendzoned hm for a lng tym buh nw we’r datn. D con to doin ds z dat smtmys u’l tnk of d stories uve tld hm den n wonder if wen he tnks of it nw, he wud judge u considerin hw he wz non-judgemental bfore. D pro howeva z dat bcos of d connection u had bfore u startd datn, u cn nw hv a relationshp whr hez ur friend, brother and lover wich feels perfect. If howeva d relatñshp doesnt wrk out well as lovers, u cn break up n stil remain close frnds.

    • Olu October 25, 2013 at 1:39 pm

      Can you please write in plain english, because all you have just written cannot be in english language. i can’t even understand what you are on about!

      • Iwari October 26, 2013 at 5:47 am

        loooooolllll…d comments on bella naija literarily make me
        LOL

    • banimo October 25, 2013 at 2:37 pm

      Na “Egun” you dey write so?

  • Chris October 25, 2013 at 11:30 am

    I think he’s the best for her. Sometimes we go to the moon for things that are in our pockets. I think they should sit down to talk and see if they could make it work. Yeah…they may have that ‘wasn’t I good enough for you before ish’ but once they get past it, they’ll be fine. Let’s hope he doesn’t get a gf before that.

  • Chi-chi October 25, 2013 at 11:36 am

    Believe me there’s NO SUCH THING AS FRIENDSHIP between a guy and lady, everyone has feelings in the end, some might bottle it up and try to hide it but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re still feelings. When I started having awkward dreams and feelings about my very close friend and he had his own dreams too (the coconut headed guy said he just felt he should tell me so I could be careful lol) I just tried my best to avoid some situations, like getting too deep and personal or lookingt him too long (cos my mind is now making him seem more attractive than normal) and that’s what I’ve been doing for about 3 months now. I’m only avoiding it cos I know the kinda guy he is and I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility and heaache yet and honestly because I don’t feel he’s God’s choice for me but then……. If he’s got it and you want to go somewhere real (marriage) with it then go for it but if you’re not serious about it or ready yet…then spare yourself the loss of an amazing friend and bottle it up and pray for grace like your sister chi-chi :)

    • Hottie October 27, 2013 at 2:16 pm

      have you ever seen a lion chilling with a dog,they must surely be looking for something else and heading into something,i dont support the act of making friends with the opposite sex,i mean intimate friends its very bad and its what most nigerian girls do this days..

    • Idak October 27, 2013 at 9:39 pm

      You are so wrong, in my view. I firmly believe there is
      something like friendship between the opposite sexes. All these
      talk of being incapable of not helping who and where you fall in
      love is too romantic a tale to be true. You can have a friend and
      firmly decide not to fall for them. If na so love is unpredictable,
      how many of us here have fallen in love with mad men and women on
      the streets?

  • ebony October 25, 2013 at 11:41 am

    oomy! its a two way thing.. he has to make the move or else she will be in trouble… if she makes the move, he will think she is desperate hence withdraw from her.. she can drop hints but she shld never ever make the move.. besides for me, being besties with the opposite sex is bad idea..

    • Iwari October 26, 2013 at 5:51 am

      she can make the move jare, she should just be subtle about
      it and not come across as desperate. Enough with not making the
      first move, that’s why a lot of girls are still single (including
      myself…LOOL) just be subtle about it… don’t come across as a
      desperate ashewo…lool…

  • Vivian October 25, 2013 at 11:56 am

    i’ve had that experience before and it ended before it even started and it kinda put a strain on our relationship. for me i think its a bad idea but she can still try cos it might just work out

  • Agidi_Jollof October 25, 2013 at 11:57 am

    Reminds me of a colleague I met when I joined a new job. We hit it off as friends instantly and deep down I had this feeling that maybe something will happen between us eventually but I didn’t say anything. The funniest thing happened, he zoned me and tho I didn’t mind that seeing as I wasn’t even looking to date then. He told me a lot about giving his escapades back in school and the kind of rough life he lived.
    I always warned him that I didn’t think it was a good idea him telling me those stuff, ‘cos something may come up between us later. Dude didn’t think so.
    Fast forward a few months later, his relationship packed up and he started making advances at me. I totally refused of course!
    I couldn’t date him knowing all the stuff he has done in the past, and the lives he destroyed in the process, told him I can’t have that kind of stuff hanging over my head.
    Just maybe it may have worked out between us if he hadn’t told me all those things. Long & short of the story is that, dating someone that you’ve zoned in the past is not always a good idea.

    • defax October 25, 2013 at 2:31 pm

      Hey, Not Judging you please but you may need to develop
      capacity to deal with the past, IF it’s in the past, Whats the
      assurance that you may not end up settling down with someone with a
      worse history that you ll find out after marriage? …..Every saint
      has a past and every sinner has a future dearie… selah

  • GinaBlack October 25, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Way back I had a friend pretty much close like the parties
    in the story…then out of the blues he wanted something more…
    Decided to give it a try. #MyWorstDecisionEver…lost our
    friendship. Better be sure what you wish for. Ready to lose his
    friendship if it doesn’t work out?

  • Tolulope October 25, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    Am currently in this nonsense of a thing, i guess its not
    worth it. i never wanted the relationship in the first place, never
    felt anything for him but later considered and started looking at
    the good side of him. Now am deeply in love with him and he has
    stopped communicating…..do i know what”s on his mind? Being who I
    am, am already getting over him and moving to the next phase of
    life. Have come to realise that its actually another ball game
    entirely when friendship turns relationship. i regret
    mine.

  • Kachi Gele October 25, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    Hmm! I really do think a guy n a girl can be “just
    friends”…I gat lots of female friends..don’t intend dating em
    all..but ofcourse, .. Na from clap person dey enter
    dance!!

  • Teni October 25, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    It happened to me too,we are still together but now we are not sure if we feel that tingly things that makes common sense disappear cos it seems we are too comfy and family. Its now putting a kind of strain in the relationship,we still love each other though but don’t know if we are in love (am kinda confused sef)

  • billionaire in grace October 25, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    That’s why I don’t like men who have female friends.cos friendship btw a man and a woman will never existe on dis earth.
    Everytime I get close to a guy I also end up falling in love with him.lol

    • Idak October 27, 2013 at 8:51 pm

      My experience in life has been a total opposite.

    • Posh November 7, 2013 at 1:43 am

      Story of my life

  • nwanyi na aga aga October 25, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    Healthy friendship can exist between a boy and a girl. I have maintained those but the issue is that I don’t think its a good idea trying to date someone whom you have been friends with over a long time. I tried that, the relationship didn’t work in fact we nearly lost the precious friendship we had cos of that. Some guys function better as friends than lovers. If you have ever zoned a guy before, i don’t think its a good idea to date him cos there is no mystery any more. No excitement, nothing to find out, The excitement of a relationship usually lies in discovering your partner(likes/dislikes), sharing new things e.t.c in a situation where you guys have been friends that mystery/excitement disappears… The only mysterious thing will be sex and once you ppl don’t believe in that you will be surprised at how the relationship will dry up and become colorless.. And if you guys do it..after its done the flame burns out… The story may turn bitter *my2cents* it may differ from person to person.

  • I formerly known as Miss Anonymous October 25, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    Sounds like the plot of Baggage Claim.
    In other news, I formerly known as Miss Anonymous now wish to be known and addressed as Mrs. Somebody. Bella Naijarians please note.

    • AA October 25, 2013 at 1:46 pm

      So you were a nobody until you got married??? Wow, am sure all the women who fought for women’s rights are so glad they wasted their time and energy on people like you (sarcasm). You are why Nigerian women are still mentally backward.

      • I formerly known as Miss Anonymous October 25, 2013 at 4:30 pm

        Hello AA, that was malapropism actually. From “Anonymous” to “Somebody”.
        You can check google for the meaning of malapropism.
        Don’t take life too seriously….learn to live a little!

      • I formerly known as Miss Anonymous October 25, 2013 at 4:44 pm

        It’s malapropism, from “anonymous” to “somebody”. It’s a form of word play.
        Check google or go figure.
        Bringing up women’s rights because I changed my name on BN. How do you even know I’m not a man? We are in cyberspace. I’m free to call myself whatever I like!
        Mschewww!

      • Iwari October 26, 2013 at 5:56 am

        LOOOOOOOOOLLL OOOO bella nigerians na wa! Gba si
        be…looll…

  • Precious October 25, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    Hmmmmm…i believe its rily impossible for two opposite sex to be too close all in the name of friendship…i’ve gat more guys as friends but trust me i’ve got feelings for the close ones… Infact my 1st kiss was from a “just a friend” kind of guy while i was stil in a relationship.. Even now i’ve got a friend who’s so close to me and trust me, we’re so crazy about each other….he’s got a girl but he spends more time wit me on the phone than he does wit her..*not fair right*? Yea i know but its so difficult to tell him to stop since we’ve agreed to remain just friends.. On a normal day, his educational level wont even make mi turn an eye towards his direction, but he jus seem to fit into all i want since i’m single..i didn’t even notice this till we became friends, started walkin home from church together,and d fact that he helped me got ova my 6yrs relationship which crashed.. *many many stories lyk that joor of lovely worlds i’ve created from friends with d opposite sex*.. So if as friends feelings start steppin in, go 4 it.. D fact that it worked or failed is not cos u were friends before, its just cos u guys were not meant to be..
    Facebook page: facebook.com/peethoughtz

  • Sho! October 25, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    The experience is not unusual at all. Its happened to me
    before nd we ended up dating even though we are not together today
    but I can boldly say I have no regrets. I’ll say she should let him
    know how she feels if he is not in anyrelationship at the month and
    also get him to open up about how he feels too. Watever the outcome
    is, its better than dying inside nd hoping he will someday pop the
    question that prob will never come. Some guys choose to stay quiet
    cos they re scared of the gals unpredictible reaction

  • Chique October 25, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    It’s not a bad idea if they are both mature people, my husband and i were best buds for years,i tried to get him to date and even marry some of my friends but it didnt work out,appaz the universe had a better plan for us. He saw me thru 2heart breaks, life is just very funny,if it will work out for them it will,she shouldn’t be scared to try tho,better to try than not at all.

  • Guys Perspective October 25, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    It’s possible to remain besties with a female, but from
    personal experience it could be really intricate. I have a couple
    of close female friends, and probably know a lot more about them
    than their siblings, family members and who knows their
    partner/boyfriends. And like someone said, if I end up dating any
    one of them, there will be no mystery, I already know “too much”.
    For the most part, men are petty, “very petty” at best, and this
    coming from someone who strives not to be petty, so if you end up
    in relationship with a former best friend, don’t be surprised if
    your past haunts you. There was a particular close friend that I
    started developing feelings for, I made sure to talk to her about
    it and the need for us to back off for a bit, and it worked
    perfectly, we are still best friends.

    • Tutu November 1, 2013 at 8:27 pm

      ….why does this sound like someone i know?

  • Anonymous October 25, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    If you put some1 in the friend zone before better leave them there.. it happened to me, we were best friends for ten years, in the tenth year he wanted more and i agreed to give it a try.. it was a complete disaster and we lost our friendship and can never be found together in the same room. we have both moved on but as a woman its not easy for me to just forget what happened.

  • Brownie d October 25, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    Different stroke for different people.Being frnd with
    opposite sex aint a barrier from dating that same friend if there
    is a click and it is positively nd truthfully allowed to take it’s
    shape.Cos the two people involved in relationships are meant to be
    friends(best pals that can keep each other secret and not use
    anything against each other;thou u can hadly find many).So i see
    nothing stopping two besties of d opposite sex from advancing to
    the Reality of life.Afterall “que sera sera”.

  • CHIKA October 25, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    Well, talk about close friends, talk about zoning, talk
    about me, a pro with loads of experience. All I know is there’s
    nothing wrong with moving from the zoned friend zone to actually,
    *we are dating now* zone ,who would not love to date a friend
    anyways?

  • Princess October 25, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    friend zone! if u liked him or her in d first place u wudnt
    have friendzoned the person! sister u are just settling!…. things
    have suddenly gone south now you realise.. this guy is actually a
    good option. when the man of ur dreams come along u wud so kick him
    to the curb. i know what am talking about, because i did
    samething

  • I Rock October 25, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    I think it’s better not to date someone you already put in the friend zone because there’s usually a reason why you put them there in the first place. On the other hand, some men just don’t wanna be in the friend zone. When I met my husband, I tried not to give him any type of attention but he bugged me so much about how he knows that am his wife and stuff like that. I decided to keep him in the friend zone, he refused to be “just a friend” and crashed the boundaries of friend zone. We got married 5 months later…one of the best decisions I ever made.

    Before I met my husband, I had a guy that really liked me but I put him in the friend zone, as time went on he really tried to date me but I adamantly refused. He ended up becoming very bitter towards me and very resentful…*deep sigh*. I’ve also had another guy that I put in the friend zone. He wanted to date me and asked me to marry him a few times but I always laughed it off and still kept him in the friend zone. We were so close, had stimulating conversations and really understood each other. Thing is, he is too handsome for his own good and I was physically attracted to him (he found me very attractive too and made sure I knew it) but I knew that acting on that attraction would’ve been disastrous so I checked myself so as not to break myself. After I got married, our friendship was strained which kinda hurt me but I feel it’s for the best…whew. So far, I have a few guy friends that I met and put in the friend zone before I got married and we are still friends. I’ve also come to realize that some Nigerian men don’t take rejection well. Some feel like your no will eventually turn to a yes and when they realize that your no actually means “no”, they become angry and resentful…*le sigh*.

    • I Rock October 25, 2013 at 6:10 pm

      *wreck myself*

    • Dede November 7, 2013 at 12:42 pm

      Errm I Rock I think you aren’t getting the “friend zone” concept really well or I am not getting what you are saying. From what I understand from your story there were guys who asked you out but you figured there were’nt good enough for you so you decided to just be friends with them, right? What we are talking about here is knowing a guy for ages maybe from primary school, you’ve talked about everything under the sun with him from when you first had your menses to when you first had sex. Then years you start developing feelings for him. Should you go ahead and date the person, is the qxn on board..

  • pretty October 25, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    my story is close…i grew up with this guy-when i say grew up i mean we both lived on the same street,went to the same primary school till i moved out to boarding sch and we never saw ourselves. he moved out of the country and so did i.we started to catch up through fb,bbm,skype that we became so close. he was also dating someone when we met. we were in totally diff state. he broke up with her and told me he has feelings for someone else(we talk about everything). so he finally told me i was the one. we didnt see but we were dating -the whole long distance thing. we finally met after a yr. in btw we broke up and got back together. when we met he told me he’s actually married sm1 4 papers and that was his best friend and he never told me about this. i was so heart broken. he’s the first guy i have ever said the “i love you ” too. i still love but i think right now its so complicated. he claims he has no feelings for her and that he married her so she won’t be deported. but they are best friends and i think his feelings for her would later develop in future and i would be left hanging. i cant seem to forget him and move on with my life. what should i do?

  • bibi October 25, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    This happened to me a couple of years ago. A friend advised i take the chance and come out with my feelings, which i did!!! Best to say, ‘O.Y.O’ became my case.
    He turned me down in the sweetest of ways and in his words,
    “….I could never see you as more than my besty”….
    Not only did i not get the ‘love of my life’, but i ended up ruining the friendship cos there was way too much tension between us, to relate normally…
    Well, that was the last time i ever blurted out my feelings to any guy, friend or not. I’d rather love from afar….lol

  • chicadimples October 25, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    It didn’t work for me, and bad part is I lost the friendship! Not advisable dearie, but u know him,so if it makes you happy then drop hints, hopefully he will follow ….

  • Precious October 25, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    hmmmm…i’m wrily enjoyin the comments… This topic obviously relates to our daily life.. But wait a minute! Where did the popular phrase *it is better to marry a friend than a stranger* go to?..

  • ebonytonero October 25, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Well l have l found myself in situation mention above, we had so many thing in common l was her best pal, made sure l kept it as that, because l knew going out with her wouldn’t end up well. Knew so much that everyone taught we were dating. At a point guys who knew us will just use my connection to get through her, even her boyfriend will come to me first before seening her. We were that close. Although Married with a kid, some how l missed her. This type of tale happens depends on those who are in the friend zone and how matured they are in it. Its not all friends you go out with, their some for cordial relationship.

    • Loves2Laugh October 26, 2013 at 8:54 pm

      oh my word…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Sorry bloke! Life (and love) has its own annoying rules!

    • Loves2Laugh October 26, 2013 at 8:55 pm

      Sorry, posted to your comment in error

  • meme October 25, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    hmm, I haven’t been in that position but if I liked any
    male friend I don’t think I’l ever tell them. I rather die inside
    than make a first move..maybe drop few hints but I will NEVER say
    anything lol. now if my boo had a female best friend or close
    friend I don’t think I’l be comfortable with that. been there
    before, he sometimes used to put her needs before mine and I
    thought he liked her. As, for dating one of your
    friends….different strokes for different folks but personally I
    would not dat

  • CarliforniaBawlar October 25, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    Video on how to escape the friend zone. Please enjoy!!
    hehehehehe youtube.com/watch?v=dEpxzeFzB6k

    • Iwari October 26, 2013 at 6:09 am

      LOOL i actually watched the video…funny ish…

  • honeymix October 25, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    I would advise to go for the relationship since you have feelings involved. Why don’t u try at least and if it does nt work out, you know it never was meant to be instead of bottling up your feelings and start regretting when there is another babe on course. Better to try and regret than not trying at all and regretting you did not even try at.

  • OgeAdiro October 25, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Happened to this girl who I’m friends with. She told a guy who she’d known for a while how she felt and ol’boy got all awkward. The guy basically avoided her for the rest of her trip to the area. One look at her and I knew something was wrong. Baby, how far? Come see cry. Friend she no get, lover she no get. I tell her say life no fair sha but she know say I’m always available. She smile talk say I no well.

    • B! October 25, 2013 at 7:02 pm

      LMAO… He put her in the friend zone, and she put YOU in the friend zone too! Lawd have mercy

      • ozyy October 26, 2013 at 3:17 pm

        hahaaaa @ ur comment B!…life NA WA

      • Loves2Laugh October 26, 2013 at 8:55 pm

        oh my word…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Sorry bloke! Life (and love) has its own annoying rules!

  • afam October 25, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    One cannot heap coals around his/her body and not expect to get burned.when it becomes too close,passion and emotions begin to run overtime.The end result is guilt and disappointment

  • Spacey October 26, 2013 at 2:14 am

    I know 2 people who stayed in the friend zone for many years and got married to different people, now, they are both trying to get divorced so they can be with each other. Point is, though not all friendships can turn to a relationship, some actually should so examine yours and if it stands a chance, go for it!

  • Modella October 26, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    I’m literally laughing @ the writer,saying she never did picture,is she that urgly?

  • Miss tee October 26, 2013 at 10:35 pm

    Lol…….loving the comments. Happened to me too…. We
    were best of friends and he was the one forcing me to eat and
    cheering me up during all the heartbreaks……lol. Fast forward
    two years, he leisurely mentioned how much he liked me at a point
    when I was just down right lonely!!!!! So I decided to give it a
    shot. I was in heaven for about two months and then all hell
    started breaking loose…… Anyway, although everyone thinks we’re
    made for each other, we just decided to tell ourselves d truth,
    rewind to when things weren’t complicated and work on just being
    friends, and I can say its working out a lot better than I
    thought…… Lesson learned: don’t reconsider people just because
    you’re lonely or heartbroken sometimes…might be a mistake after
    all…

  • Toma October 27, 2013 at 12:12 am

    Its very possible to be friends. Just dont get too close
    for comfort! If you need a shoulder to cry on go to ur girlfriends
    or close family. If you have none of these, lean on God. There is
    an invisible line that friendships between opposite sex should
    never cross in order to keep d relationship healthy; send
    occasional messages and call on special occasions eg birthdays.
    This is particularly important if you are both in relationships or
    married. If single, Don’t hang out often or alone with each other
    or try to act like you know him more than his partner even if u
    think u do. Bottom line dont put each other in awkward positions
    and d chances are that d friendship will last. It worked just fine
    for me sha.

  • Dupe October 27, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    The whole thing is complicated gann. Bt most of the tym people end up with their friends.

  • Lolu October 27, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    I think it is possible for a guy and a girl to just be friends but not close friends (as in your friends case). When you get too close you begin to invest too much emotion into the person and it’ll just get people suspicious, all his admirers would see u as a threat and even your admirers might get jealous.
    In your friends case I don’t think it’s too late for her. It’s better she mentions it cos then at least it’s out there. If he feels the same then bravo but if he doesn’t then it could get really awkward and could probably be the end to a good friendship. I think just being friends with someone your in love with hurts more than ending a good friendship. Plus it wouldn’t be fair on who ever he will end up with cos the person would actually see ur friend as her husbands close friend which is just deceitful.

  • Idak October 27, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    What is too close? Apart from sex,obviously.

  • me October 27, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    oh my, Alex, I thought u ere never gonna finish d
    story!!!

  • Bliss October 28, 2013 at 3:55 am

    One of the friendships I admire the most in the history of television is Will and Grace one.
    The friend zone doesn’t mean you are not good enough. For example, some females will actually slit my throat in an argument if I mention that George Clooney is just so so for me. Terrence J on the other hand who many may regard as at best average I am all up in that grill Some people are great as friends but it would never work out as a relationship. I kinda lost one of my best friends to the whole friend zone thing, he couldn’t get past it. I think its kinda selfish 2 end a friendship just because the friendship turned into a relationship. Everybody friend zones and has been friend zoned, so be a good sport and take it in good fate like you’ve been dealt a bad hand in a poker game. You live to fight another day.

  • MzChizzy October 28, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Wow!…some very interesting comments! Thanks guys! I’m pretty sure Gloria is reading…lol…Based on the comments garnered so far, apparently we have more peepz in support of ‘Keep Calm & Stay Friends’ and less in support of ‘Speak out & Date Him’ *big sigh* Errmmm…but if a sister doesn’t marry her best friend, who will? lol

  • Miss N October 28, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    Sorryy guys for digressing ……….. My bf 18 yrs old sister hates Me@ first I wasn’t bothered now its ggiving cauuse forAlarm help!!

  • Farapack October 29, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Theoretically speaking, if there’s a thin line between LOVE & HATE abi na FRIENDSHIP & LOVE, with LOVE FRIENDSHIP OR HATE, are we going to die? Answer = YES!!! Do I have a choice of even being on this planet? Answer = NO!!! Therefore, if I don’t have a choice coming to this miserable planet, why should i know about death, meaning if i knew the end result to earth is death, wouldn’t I decide to chill where I dey come from jeje because as i just drop for this world i don adapt by getting FRIENDS, HATING & FALLING IN LOVE. Conclusion, If i don’t have a choice coming to earth and cant adapt, end result is death. but if i can adapt then why is result still death? Pastors need not reply!!!

  • Cubeycubes October 29, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    After reading all your good comments I have couple of questions to ask. If we ladies don’t marry our male best friend who are we meant to marry ? Also for guys knowing all about there female best friends and cus they know all they can’t date them . What you guys r trying to say is that you want a stranger as a wife/ gf and also happy not to know all about your gf/ wife?? Or am I confused ???

    • Lin October 30, 2013 at 12:14 am

      no u are not confused. u are soooo correct. i personally believe close platonic ‘friendships’ dont work btw a guy n a girl.. feelings come in and complicate things, so word of advice, if u like ur best friend, let them know… whats d worst dat will happen. if its not mutual u move on with someone else rather than suffer in silence.

      interesting comments generally… feels gud to join d bella naija fam..lol. just started droppin comments lately

  • Me Full Ground October 29, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    @Cubeycubes, a million Gbosas for you.

  • Me Full Ground November 1, 2013 at 8:21 am

    @Lin, another million Gbosas for you. What is wrong in moving from “friends zone” to “love zone” if feelings start to develop? Is it not said that the “devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know”? As Lin said, make your feelings known and if it is mutual and works out, all well and good. If not you move on just like any relationship. It is narrow minded people (men especially) who feel that because they know of a lady’s past life or relationship that deny their love feelings even when they are dying inside. What of a situation where you date and marry a lady who wasn’t your friend only to find out that 2 or more of your closed friends or relatives had previously chopped her yam to full satisfaction? I guess, that will be the end of marriage. Please grow up jare. In my opinion, your friend is your best bet for marriage and not a stranger except your feelings are not genuine or that you were not actually true friends. A true friend will sympathise with your faults and live with your past. If you can’t live your friend’s past, it means you resent him/her pretending to be understanding and supportive.

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