Tobechi Nneji: Airports, Long Flights & Romance

In flight romance! Isn’t that what long flights are made for? Why don’t airlines make the extra effort to pair people up when they assign seats? Like even if I check in online and choose my seat, why won’t the airline just be like “Hello miss. As you are flying with us today, seeing as we want to ensure your absolute pleasure on this flight, we would like to offer you a seat change. If you seat here, here or here, you would be beside another passenger whom we believe will make this flight experience extra pleasurable.”

I love the idea of having mulatto babies and as such, marrying a white person is an option I am entirely open to. I had allowed myself fantasize about meeting my prince charming on a flight and falling in love and having a perfect reason not to come back to naija. I imagined how I would get an extra dose of orishirishi by having him be mixed…white/Caucasian or white/brazillian. In my head, I was going in for a kill. And I was happy to start with a little in-flight romance.

After crossing and before boarding, I had some time, so I went and did some basic makeup. Brows, base, mascara, eye liner and lip balm. I looked natural and pretty. No single black spot showed but I cursed at those two pimples…both on the right side of my face. They were evidently hell bent on cutting my ‘fine-girl’ vibe. And they couldn’t think of a better day to sprout but this day when I was in a mentally ripe state to meet my Mr Plane Right. Oh well…shebi they said it’s inner beauty they see? Plus wait o, it’s just two pimples; my fine girl vibe didn’t finish joor.

Thankfully my brother was a row behind me…right behind me. But I had texted with a friend of mine and he had given me tips on how to pull off my romance feat without ticking off my brother. I was going to enjoy this flight. It was late and I was exhausted but I had decided that even my sleep would be flirtatious…let me just find my Mr Plane Right.

I was on 33A. I sat and got comfy and had my seat belt on. Then I figured it would be nice to break the ice by asking him to help me adjust the seat belt so I unstrapped myself and proceeded to elongate the straps (yes, women also rehearse conversations and pick and up lines). I was smiling to myself about how my side of the plane had two seats and how he would be stuck with me. Oh the flirting…it would be memorable. And that’s when she came on to my row.

She was about my age or slightly older, pretty, busty and wore glasses like me. She sat in 33B, looked at me and said “Please will you be getting up to pee a lot?”. I replied in the negative. And then she said “ok. Please I want to sleep all through so if you will be peeing, I was going to suggest that we switch seats”. I said “it’s ok…enjoy the flight”.

I strapped myself back in, bit my nail, put on ear muffs and closed my eyes.

My fantasies would have to keep me company through this flight. I wished my brother was beside me and not behind.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Wavebreakmedia Ltd

42 Comments on Tobechi Nneji: Airports, Long Flights & Romance
  • Dr. N January 7, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    Chai! I felt d pain. Lol

  • Alice January 7, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    ? Better luck next time
    I love how you can boldly write what everyone sometimes fantasises about but never has the courage to verbalise

  • June January 7, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Am I the only person cringing from this write-up….??? ??

    • Ubilicious January 7, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      I’m with you to an extent.
      It didn’t totally put me off, but after reading it, i felt that I’ve never wasted 2 mins of my time much more hopelessly.

    • emma January 7, 2016 at 9:05 pm

      Yeesss girl! What was the point of this write up? So she wants all of us to know how much she hates herself to the point of wanting a biracial child? Abi is she hoping to find her a white boo to actualize her swirl fantasies in the comment section? Tobechi what is your address? let me send you a case of Aquafina water to quench that stupid thirst of yours. Black people are so embarrassing sometimes gosh. We are the only ones that shamelessly throw ourselves at non blacks. Just read the comments on those youtube videos with WMBW IR couples, only black girls talking about how they want an Oyinbo boo and wish they were the girl. This is how y’all fall into the hands of these white people that have nasty fetishes for black women.
      I don’t have anything against IR relationships, but if a white, Asian, Latino guy likes you, let him like you because he noticed you without you putting in any effort, not because you made sure that he noticed you.. After all is it not the man that is supposed to do the chasing? Please get over yourselves, white people aren’t all that.

      • Tola January 7, 2016 at 9:51 pm

        Awww! Don’t say that. Maybe there wasn’t really a point, but it was funny and entertaining. And also showed that life isn’t always as we want it to be. She fantasized about something and it didn’t happen. I enjoyed it sha o. It was short too. Liked that. It wasn’t a long, rambling post.

      • Emma Please January 7, 2016 at 10:34 pm

        How does wanting biracial babies indicate she hates herself? Your logic is very faulty. Her personal preference has nothing to do with self hate. There are some white girls who strictly date black guys, does that mean they also hate themselves? I bet you wouldn’t say the same if it was a black guy fantasizing about mixed race babies with a white girl. Please think before you write. By the way, this is 2016 so if a woman chooses to chase a man, let her be. Keep your narrow mindedness to yourself.

      • emma January 8, 2016 at 3:16 am

        @emma please
        If you read my first comment, you will notice that I said “black people” not black girls or Nigerian girls. Black guys having biracial baby fantasies (especially girls because I never see boys in those swirl fetish memes) are equally as bad. I see this all the time, black guys fawning over pictures of little biracial girls on IG. Their fetishization of biracial babies is very disgusting because It shows their sexual and dating preferences. They are basically saying that. “I want a daughter ( my son doesn’t matter because I will make him hate his blackness so much that he will only procreate with a non black woman) that will grow up into a woman that I can smash” and its sad that white women unknowingly play into this. I’ve only seen black people (men and women) fantasizing about dating outside their race which IMO is very unflattering. There is nothing wrong with interracial relationships. The problem comes in when you shamelessly make yourself available to non blacks, when they notice you, their feelings towards you are always sexual and nothing else.
        Oh please you know nothing about me. Would you be happy if I say that you sound like one of those girls who shamelessly make comments on those swirl Youtube videos and IG pages like “I wish I can find my own white knight in shining armor” “O God bless me a white man so i can have biracial children”? So don’t start making senseless generalizations about me. Colonization has done a number on y’all and its so sad.
        and what is ” this is 2016 so if a woman chooses to chase a man”? This comment right here shows that I should not waste my time explaining anything to you cause e nor go enter. Nigerians based at home have a whole different view on race so my explanation isn’t going to make any difference. Bye girl

      • Aunty_Nunu16 January 8, 2016 at 7:06 am

        I think you are the one who needs that carton of aquafina. Better still add a crate of coke to it. She is allowed to feel how she feels. Who the hell are you to tell her she is wrong for it. Nonsense and ingredients!!

  • Adaeze Ibechukwu
    Adaeze Ibechukwu January 7, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Lovely read! This cracked me up! Don’t worry dear…better luck next time!

    For amazing stories on blogsphere, visit adaezewrites.com

  • Hawspot January 7, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    Hilarious! Wondering thoughts and minds…

  • D January 7, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    Chai!pele.The fine white dude that sat beside me on a flight to Paris kept vomiting and all sort when we had air turbulence na so show spoil, so it won’t be happening for me in this lifetime cause am married to my sweet choco choco.
    Speaking of make up had at this naija chic that looked like a box of crayon who sat beside on a flight like that she was forming tush for me,so i just slept off I woke shouting WHAT THE FU..! a word I usually replace with bleep flew out of my mouth cause the place was smelling, aunty tush dey fart like world wars, also sweating but didn’t know how to wake me that she want to use the rest room I just stand up for her jejely.

  • Thatafricanchic January 7, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    1. I can see you are not a frequent flyer. White guys are polite, but not so chatty. You can start the conversation alright and they will respond alright but that does not mean they are interested in you. You are more likely to start a flight romance with a black guy than a white guy.

    2. If you want to meet white guys, go on TINDER. I’m guessing you live in Nigeria and there should be some decent white guys there.

    3. Stop dreaming about biracial babies and GROW UP. Have more sensible reasons why you want to date/marry a (white) man

    • smitha January 8, 2016 at 4:15 am

      Love you for 2 and 3! Like I can’t with that ridiculousness. …she needs to grow up for real..ugh!

    • neo January 8, 2016 at 12:42 pm

      oshey frequent flier!

  • Thatafricanchic January 7, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    And also if you have the right dose of interesting, your 2 pimples shouldn’t be a problem at all. especially for white men

  • nene January 7, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    in 2016? some people have issues oh. meanwhile this article is boring, its lacking something

  • S! January 7, 2016 at 11:44 pm

    So because she wants a biracial child she hates her self? What manner of reasoning is that?

  • Mamacita January 7, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    In flight ogini? Leave story for tortoise! The closest I have come to in flight interaction that would lead to anything resembling romance I was on a 6 hour flight in which I sat near this uncle many years ago.

    Long story short, uncle started asking me to make out with him and when I expressed shock at his audacity he asked why I was slacking and he had done it many times before! Many years later I’m still in shock.

  • Fleur January 8, 2016 at 12:28 am

    It is sad that you want to date because of perceived looks. Not saying it aint important but what happened to personality, compatibility, etc? From your note, if you met a Jap or Philipino or Arab or Bantu who made you laugh and was your soul mate, you would not open your door because they are not caucasian. Nice plan for unhappiness.

  • wunmi January 8, 2016 at 2:54 am

    I love the article. Dunno why we are all being pretentious. I travel a lot myself and every time i wish to meet some correct bobo on the plane. 3 years of frequent travelling and no show yet . i’m about to even change the airline i always fly with. It seems only boring people fly delta

    • Guys Perspective January 8, 2016 at 4:58 pm

      Don’t change your airline yet, maybe one day we’ll cross paths.

      – Fellow Delta frequent flier.

  • lifeisbeautiful January 8, 2016 at 2:56 am

    What did I just read? Does Bella Naija actually vet articles before publishing? I think this has got to be one of the most useless, uninteresting, unimaginative articles I’ve ever read on here.
    AND I want my 2 mins back pls after reading this!

    • Aunty_Nunu16 January 8, 2016 at 7:09 am

      Write your own lets read naa

  • Sophie January 8, 2016 at 8:32 am

    My only question is how is white/Caucasian mixed? :s

    • MC January 8, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      I was wondering the same thing!

    • The real D January 8, 2016 at 9:32 pm

      @ author like Sophie insinuated; since no one is actually “white” the right term is Caucasian so you can be mixed and be white and Caucasian as they are one and the same. Secondly, are you trying not to “tip off” your brother I.e, let him know what you are about to do. Or are you trying not to “tick him off” which is to make angry or upset. They are not to be used interchangeably as their meaning are totally different. You have the ability to draw your readers in with the way you put words together to paint a clear picture and I enjoyed that.

      • The real D January 8, 2016 at 9:33 pm

        ****you CAN’T be mixed and be white and be white and Caucasian************

  • jingo January 8, 2016 at 8:32 am

    its humorous people, lighten up and leave trash for lawma

  • titi January 8, 2016 at 8:50 am

    ok, I don’t get the negativity people have been spewing out on this article. this article is borderline between humor and a girl’s fantasy. this does not mean that she is actually going to date only biracial guys. u guys should cut her some slack. while growing up, I actually dreamt of marrying a black American so I can have cute babies with oyinbo hair, did I end up with a black American ? NO. I didn’t even see one to toast me talkless of dating.
    we are all entitled to our fantasies!!!!!!!!!!! #stop cyber bullying

    • MC January 8, 2016 at 2:22 pm

      Black American so your babies can have oyinbo hair….how does that work? Please explain

  • Ni January 8, 2016 at 11:04 am

    Ok! People are blowing this out of proportion. So what if she wants a mulatto baby….BIG DEAL! Clearly it’s a fantasy. Abeg, I bet y’all are the worst with esteem issues. And yes most people feel that way but are not bold to mention it. Yes I love and date very dark skinned men. But I still fantasize about meeting a hot latina and maybe get pregnant by mistake ( I kid :p ). People need to take ice water and chill, it’s never that serious.

  • YUMMY CHICK CUM MUMMY January 8, 2016 at 11:20 am

    i dont get this……………

  • suz January 8, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    Some people can take things so serious sha! Na wa!! This article is supposed to be humorous IMO and nothing as serious as some peeps take it. Anyway, I need a whitey @Thatafricanchic, where/what is TINDER? (I’m serious) * anyone who feels pained by my question can commit suicide for all I care*

  • Bolatito January 8, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    i love this write up

    Bolatito’s Blog

  • Ch January 8, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    This is just some light-hearted write-up, some people are just so stuck up. Anytime I have to fly, I always dream of meeting a guy on the flight, especially since that’s how my sister met her hubby, but it is yet to happen for me. Please free the girl joor

  • marves January 8, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    What does “IMO” mean?

    Bella naija how far about my inability to access aso EBI Bella now?

  • Suz January 8, 2016 at 10:13 pm

    @Marves, IMO means ‘in my opinion’…

  • Koffie January 9, 2016 at 10:24 am

    It was an interesting read but I also cringed at the part where she said she wanted a Caucasian for the sole purpose of having ‘mullato babies’. All the best in bagging your dream man but I hope he never finds out you only were interested in his DNA. I also hope that in the event that you (or others like you) do have black babies (like Uche Jombo) whether with a black man or white, you do not low key make your kids feel like you’d have preferred a certain skin tone/hAir type on them. Kids sense these things.
    I think I understand the lady who implied that the love for biracial kids equates self-hate. The difference between the author and her biracial counterparts will be in hair texture and skin tone and maybe she actually hates African hair types.

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