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Thank God I am not a ‘Witch’!

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Like many of us, I have been in a few not-so-good relationships. If there have been only a few, I’m sure you will wonder how I know this much about “evil” men and sour relationships. I guess my knowledge isn’t solely hinged on the number of relationships that I have enjoyed / endured, nor can it be completely attributed to the lifespan of each of these relationships, but the lessons from every one of them.

I must admit that I have learnt much more about men and relationships through the experiences of my many friends. Yes, I have zillions of them – okay I lie, just lots of them. I have watched many of my girlfriends fall in and out of love. I have seen some of them heart-broken even though they gave all they knew how to give while each of these relationships lasted. My own past relationships and those of my friends make me wonder about the true nature of men – what do men really want? Now, each time I witness a friend at the altar with her man, I say to myself – “This is a miracle”!

Just recently, two of my friends experienced heartbreaks, all thanks to guys who supposedly loved them. One of them had been in a topsy-turvy relationship with this guy for many years. She thought that he was finally coming back to his senses when he told her just about a month ago that he was ready to “settle down”. He promised to visit her parents soon to make his intention known. My dear friend was super excited about this even when we chatted on yahoo messenger. Although I didn’t hear her speak, I felt her excitement in every word she typed to me that day. She had sacrificed sooo much for him and she believed that it was her pay-back time. I thought she deserved it too.

Last week, Romeo got married to someone else – for once he was being truthful about wanting to “settle down”, he just didn’t elaborate on who he wanted to settle down with. He wasn’t forthright enough to inform my unsuspecting friend that he was getting married to somebody else. I felt her pain; I still do. I know what it feels like to be screwed over – been there, bought the t-shirt!

I spoke to her earlier today – she’s obviously still hurting though she’s being very brave and hopeful just like she’s always been. By the time I was done talking to her, I felt a righteous rage and I started to imagine what life will be like if I was a Witch… yes, you have read me well – I mean a Full Blown Witch!

Assuming this role, I started to visualise how to witch-hunt all the guys who have ever dealt with me emotionally. Without them having to request it, I will render pro-bono services also to all my girlfriends who have been hurt. I’ll hound each guy who has ever hurt us intentionally and who isn’t sorry about it.

For instance, I’ll wake him up in the wee hours of the morning, eager to show him that I have plucked three of his front teeth never to give them back; I will follow him to his place of work and ensure he farts uncontrollably at important meetings; I’ll seize his THING and will give it back weeks after I have ensured that he is massively frustrated; if he is the materialistic type, I’ll ensure that each time he visits a place where he is keen on creating a positive impression of himself, I’ll ensure his clothes rip to shreds and off his body till he is butt naked and I’ll set his car on fire; I’ll make him grow boobs and a big butt – bigger than Ms. Ikebe Super’s; I’ll get him to drool uncontrollably in public; I’ll endow him with a nauseating body odour and will ensure that he sweats profusely even when its freezing cold; I’ll soften his voice so he’ll sound like a little girl while he is speaking; yes, I’ll do all these things and much more… just to get them all back for the evil they have done to us. I’ll deal with each one of them, one after the other, in the hope that they will learn a lesson or two. Maybe then they’ll be more considerate, love honestly and responsibly, tell the truth at all times… be real men and not jerks!

Fortunately for him and the rest of these guys, I cannot do all these “evil” things because I’m not a Witch and can never be. I’m already sold to JESUS! Plus, they aren’t worth the trouble. The truth is that there is no amount of evil I can do that can pay them back for all the hurt and pain they have caused. Single woman, a man who is truly yours will never leave you even when he is being chased away with a forklift. Something tells me that soon, I’ll be witnessing your “miracle” just like you’ll witness mine.

P.S. This is dedicated to my friend, I hope it makes you smile. You know who you are… love you lots.

Photo Credit: mysticmiss.files.wordpress

64 Comments

  1. Bukky

    May 11, 2010 at 8:49 am

    Thank God you are not a witch.I bet the guys would have suffered so much,they will put up a campaign against ladies maltreament.

  2. damola

    May 11, 2010 at 9:09 am

    ” She had sacrificed sooo much for him and she believed that it was her pay-back time. I thought she deserved it too ” — sacrifice, pay-back,… yeah right…

  3. PET

    May 11, 2010 at 9:24 am

    Oh dear… i just couldnt help laughing! But seriously, like u said, they arent worth the stress, so we’ll just all let them be and move on!

  4. buki

    May 11, 2010 at 9:30 am

    yeah..atimex i wish i were one too bt all thanks to Jesus……its so sad d way dey play us…but surely..God has a better plan for us all

  5. rare gem

    May 11, 2010 at 9:43 am

    lovely!lolllllllll.

  6. d tin don shele!

    May 11, 2010 at 9:50 am

    LWKMD! i was in tears reading this. i can feel your anger and frustrations, i have also been there before along with my zillion friends. but hold on to God and believe me, he will visit you at his appointed time and your reward will be greater than your sorrows. Good luck to your friend 😉

  7. F

    May 11, 2010 at 10:51 am

    This should be a NOLLYWOOD Blockbuster!! lol

    love it!!

  8. Face

    May 11, 2010 at 11:11 am

    This was really painful to read, the english got tears rolling down my chicks

  9. Nuisance

    May 11, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Just wondering how many other decent guys your friend turned down while in
    the “topsy turvy” relationship. Don’t get me wrong, any man who cannot tell a
    woman to her face he has found someone else, is less than a snake. But women
    Sometimes that “Mr Perfect” aint so perfect. Especially when he gives the
    “topsy turvy” signs.

  10. ladyTee

    May 11, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Ladies, a “topsy-turvey” relationship should not go beyond a yr. It’s one of those relationships
    that clearly will not work, so it is best just to run!
    All the best to your friend. The guy will get his just deserts in his own time.

  11. vanessa

    May 11, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    V ALSO BEEN THERE AND BOUGHT THE TSHIRT LIKE U SAID BUT V L

  12. Eno

    May 11, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    [email protected] the article.
    When your friend has the inclination to listen (i’m guessing she’s in the mourning stage at the moment), tell her the dude was not for her. Period.
    @ what men really want? Perfection. But most times, by the time they realise its a pointless search, they’d have wasted precious time and littered a lot of hearts by the wayside. A pity indeed
    Love the one you’re with: That’s your perfection right there.

  13. naso

    May 11, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    some girls sef…nawa for them…a man/boy jst tells u one small thing and u are head over girls…some girls will go and start cooking for the guy, having sex and making a whole lot stupid sacrifices….most guys jst one thing and that is the girl’s body….its only if the girl has other nice characteristics apart from her hot body that she becomes wifey material…so abeg u girls should take it easy with the way u sacrifice cus no matter how much to sacrifice…if a man doesnt like u then he doesnt like u and there is nothing u can do about that…men do not owe a favour of marriage to women jst becus they told them sweet things…i don talk my own be that….peace out

  14. bcgeorge

    May 11, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    it’s a two way door..it swings in both directn..guys av tales to tell too…two cn play d game…looks like evry1 is bn assigned to break som1’s heart…Meeting d right person is a game of numbers. d more gurlz (guys) you meet, d more ur chances of meetin d right TYPE of person……go on dating spree and stop whining and stop whinning…..peace

  15. oju

    May 11, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    funny imagination!!lol…nyways i have always said it fall in love but fall heads first!!we girls fall head, many girls involve their hearts too quickly, no thinking, no scrutinizing and then they get burnt….after i had a string of liars as boyfriends…i put my guard up and became inspector gadget for the early stages of my present relationship…it paid off bcause we aired everything out and r headed to the alter….prepare ur mind to walk away as soon as possible in any new relationship u start so that when the need arises u can simply walk away….follow this principle and trust me u won’t have a man get the chance to treat you like he did ur friend!!

  16. Jade82

    May 11, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    I hear you my dear…sometimes i wish i was a WITCH myself cos of these men,
    but then again it ain’t worth the stress. One just has to be smarter than they
    are. But sometimes love has away of making us think we are doing all the right
    things. Then they use us to get by….you just let God do it for you especially
    when you know all u did was sincere and from your heart..There is nothing he
    God won’t forgive.

    As for a guy that won’t tell a chic he is dealing with he is getting married, but
    to someone else, that’s just mean, flaky and more….

    Good luck with everything, especially ur friend….i feel her pain. I just pray God gives
    her and everyone that is single their own person because these men are flaky by
    the day……These days am so skeptical and i ask God to give me the strength to
    actually believe the person loves me…..

  17. Lari

    May 11, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    He got her pregnant in the few months we were apart. I knew!, stupidly, it was one of the repentant scenes with words like ‘It was a mistake, and no we are not getting married. I’d raise the baby, and of course I’m still in love with you, forgive me’.
    Well, they got married and I found out on face book, via someone else of course, while we were still dating and planning.
    It’s been a few months; I’m hurt but have wonderful family and getting on with my life. It doesn’t help that he’s just an sms away all the time, with phrases like ‘ I’m sorry, u’re my half, I’ve been dreaming about you every day and can’t help myself anymore, pls help me and calls to meet etc’.
    He was my first ever boyfriend, 2003-2009, but quite frankly, I see he isn’t worth it.

  18. Lynda

    May 11, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    No offense to you and your friend but when your friend was busy sacrificing so much for this so called man she was with, was the man also sacrificing so much for her? Is it fair to say your friend sort of brought this upon herself? You don’t give your all to a man who doesn’t give you his all. Why would she be in a relationship that she feels the man agreeing to settle down is her pay back? And why would anyone your friend especially be a in a “topsy turvy” relationship for so long? I bet your friend saw the handwritings on the wall but ignored them. Her ex was wrong for what he did to her and I do hope your friend will learn from this experience.

  19. newyork

    May 11, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    @ Lari, sorry about that. thats a long time to date some1 and get screwed over.you sure deserve better. hang in thurr.

  20. jessy

    May 11, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    nice story tho……….but i ve 2 say wen u re in a relationship girls don’t sacrifice too much 4 dis guys or ve sex wit dem……..dey re not worth it…….. wait till he takes u 2 d alter and say ”I DO” and prove 2 u hw much he loves u and care……..if he has 2 go den let him go ……his goin is only scarin… 4 u 2 give in but i bet u he will come back if he trully loves u. i don’t believe love is blind oh!…let ur eyes b open. Am in a relationship and i am not givin in too much cus i know y and i am ready if he says he is leavin or goin 2 take 2 d alter…………in dis life u ve 2 b ready….. expect anythg

  21. Naeee

    May 11, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    This write up is hilarious, you want to be come my super ex girlfriend abi…

    @Lari, he is not worth it at all. You will be fine

    My sister was also dating a guy,when she was down with fever and was the the hospital the guy was busy with his a close family friend, she only knew 5months latet when the girl was five month pregnant for him, he begged at first and said it was a one time thing, my sister was so depressed she called me and broke down. Now he is happily with his pregnant girlfriend, she must have given birth now, what broke my sisters heart was the fact that he had spoken to my mother and told her he was interested in making her his wife…Some guys dont just worth it

  22. tee

    May 11, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    @Lari…you are def worth more…good riddance to bad rubbish. You may
    not understand it all now…but i am saying a BIG congrats to u!!! @ Poster…
    simply hilarious…i really do hope your friend reads it and smiles 🙂

  23. B!cious

    May 11, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    This is so true…I do and still feel the same way….woe betide those ex-boyfriend if we ever have those powers.But thank God I dont because seriously you will realised they are not worth it and I am happy they broke my heart now sef. I am very much better off now

  24. Brothers Speak

    May 11, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    laff wan kill me die…
    and to say i didnt want to read this.
    Still have tears in my eyes from laughter
    As a guy, i can imagine you doig all these to one.
    Phew! Hell hath no fury like that of a smitten woman!
    Pele to your friends o! I know we can be really evil sometimes but we do it for you and because you allow it.
    It might not make sense to you, but one day if ever, i will explain and hopefully post it here.
    Its a mans world controlled b y women walahi!
    If only women will open their eye and use it……

  25. Uche

    May 12, 2010 at 1:17 am

    Sometimes it baffles me how easy women find it to attack men when the truth is that for every tear, every heartache a woman suffers there is also a man out there who is being torn to shreds by a woman and the way she treats him….I’ve been there also and a lot of my friends too when a lady will leave you cos ur struggling for some better paid guy only to come back proffesing love when you’ve made it….Women are just as good as men at breaking hearts so ladies get a grip….The nice guys are always there but they are too bring and precdictable…sistas want a guy who’s very suave and all the other things they want and when you get what u asked for and he shows his true colours you say all men are dogs…..like someone else said here how many decent men did she turn down even while knowing it was a tupsy turvy relationship?…Women have a knack for holding onto men who treat them like trash, unserious men and trying to fix them even when its glaring to the whole world the brother doesn’t want to be fixed…In the end when he dumps them like he always would they’ll start acting like they never saw it coming…..Men aint the problem sistas…..Look within yourselves..Tell yourselves the truth and u’ll find the answer

  26. ofem

    May 12, 2010 at 4:07 am

    Yea! there is always a BIG hand writing on the wall but people (Men and Women)
    usually ignore them either cos they think the person will “change” or they have
    invested” too much time in the relationship… Big mistake!!!!

  27. ibinike

    May 12, 2010 at 7:00 am

    Haven’t we all wished we have some controlling powers to do exactly what we want with the people who hurt us? I love the write up and feel for your friend. The work we put into relationships are sometimes too much and that is why the hurt is usually unbearable. Yes, I also see every relationship that makes it to the altar a miracle!
    But it swings both ways, I know guys that have been badly hurt by gals and vice versa. The good news is that if your friend forgives and moves on, she will soon find out the guy was not worth the pain and it’s been tried and tested that by not giving up, prayerfully she will find the man who is hers!

  28. reen

    May 12, 2010 at 11:35 am

    @Naso….na so!

  29. CHIZO

    May 12, 2010 at 11:51 am

    my friend has a saying that if you are given a package you don’t want you “return to sender”.so many women waste their time trying to mold themselves into what they think a guy wants.what is the problem? Love does not hurt ! like so many people have said if a guy gives you signals you cannot define STEP.is there a magnet holding you there?.There are nice guys out there but instead of cutting our loses early on ,we hold on saying i have invested x amount of time in this relationship ,let it go!.if a guy show he is not really into you believe him and MOVE ON.

  30. buki

    May 12, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    @larri…dts so sad bt u def worth more…the Lord is ur strength and he is gonna console u….u did it for love bt it burnt u….atimex i askd “is it wrong to Love”? y does such a sweet tin as Love hurts so bad….God help us all………..as for me..i ve learnt it d hard way to love wif my brain n safeguard my heart……..

  31. temmie

    May 12, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    all that and more my dear, u are to nice, at least he will sleep in ur case, in my case he will have constant insomnia till he cannot see straight, but as u said thank God for Jesus, but one thing is still one thing is still certain what goes around comes around, the world operates on the principle of karma so girls out there do not worry, he might be paid back in the same coin but trust me there will still be pay back and ohhhh will it hurt. on a sweeter note not all guys are dogs so just wait for that one exception to head ur way and do not let your past hold you back

  32. Aibee

    May 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    Funny piece but 1 can only agree with. Sometimes I wish I had powers too. To do something to the idiot who I gave my heart and body too but who ended up gettin married to the girl he was cheating on me with. Of course I learnt via facebook. I’m over it all now and have learnt that he just was not for me. the scars are all but gone but I’m wiser and veeeeery circumspect about the guys I chose to get involved with.
    @ Lari, the pain will pass believe me. Then you’ll wonder what you ever saw in him.

  33. Olivia M.

    May 13, 2010 at 3:02 am

    lol..how about No Man is worth going to hell for. Nice piece though.

  34. adelegirl

    May 13, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Laughed so hard when I read this. Ahh, if wishes were horses o… when my ex broke up with me after 9 years, I thought my world had come to an end and I was hurting so bad. If I was a witch or at least knew a witch, hmnnn… but thank God for his kindness and His mercies o. I knew that it was not worth losing my self and soul just to punish someone who’ll get his just desserts anyway.

    @ sistas like Lari and the writer’s friend, this too will pass definitely. Its not easy o but months and years down, you’ll thank these guys for ‘rejecting’ you. Believe me, if i saw my ex now, I’ll thank him o cos he’s such a loser. Someone that begs his jilted ex for money when he is in a relationship with someone else (probably the person he jilted me for o) is BAD news and I’m lucky and blessed.

    I have been shown how a real man treats his woman and I’m enjoying it. So ladies, like Sefi Atta said “EVERYTHING GOOD WILL COME”.

  35. gbekun

    May 14, 2010 at 5:12 am

    OMG! this had me in stitches. love it TOTALLY. this part especially “For instance, I’ll wake him up in the wee hours of the morning, eager to show him that I have plucked three of his front teeth never to give them back”.

  36. Nneka

    May 14, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Hella funny article Ejire! Love it.

    But not a witch…. Just a merciless serial torturer. And I’ll gladly inflict pain on the other woman too, infact she’ll suffer more. Hmm…..At the end of the day, we woman do and un-do ourselves. If we held up our personal values, flaunted good morals not sexual enticement, used our brains more and our bodies less, men will run out of whatever steam makes them dash from woman to woman with such little caution.

    However before a ‘man-snatcher’ exists, there has to be a man who WANTS to be snatched cos he’s looking for a reason to leave his ongoing relationship. In most cases, his chic is actually a good woman so he does not have the balls or any reason to break it off.

    To te hurting women (and men): Time does heal broken hearts. Free yourself.

  37. LALA

    May 14, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    LWKMD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA! HAD A GOOD LAUGH!

  38. Akpevwe

    May 15, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    This was so funny…. could not stop laughing. I hope this makes your friend smile.
    I have also had this thought too but thank God like you said we are sold to Christ
    and this guys ain’t worth it.

  39. Opeks

    May 15, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    Well all said and hoped for, you’re not a witch( Lets thank God for that) .Life goes on and next time
    check “yourselves”(Ladies)cos you cant switch all the blame on the guys. it takes two.

  40. Temi

    May 17, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I say it’s a dish one should not even think about. Why? because life comes in waves and cycles. Legal folk called it justice. Indians call it karma, We Christians call it God’s time, and God’s vengeance. Whichever way it’s important to realise that forgiveness is a favour you do for yourself. I speak because I’ve been hurt too – badly. Jilted quarter to the wedding. Did I sleep with him? No! Did I make foolish or exacting sacrifices? No. But he still went off with another woman – a close friend. Fast forward 4 years. He’s jilted her too. His PR is in tatters. She is back to square one and miserable, and in a few months I marry a man who is absolutely amazing to say the least. Do I gloat? Funny enough, no. And because I don’t, I realise I have forgiven and this knowledge lifts me 10 feet in the air. I know I am maturing. In this matter, I have matured. Life is rich, and life is sweet.

    Lari, Naeee Aibee and every other lady out there who’s been badly hurt, take heart. Better days will come. Make the right choices, as someone said, fall in love, but open your eyes. WIDE.

  41. jasmine

    May 17, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    Temi thankyou for your story, I really needed to hear that…

  42. cricket

    May 18, 2010 at 5:05 am

    lmfao @ all da comments

  43. Dianah

    May 18, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    ejire,u are just hillarious even while telling it as it is.i feel u girl, always one awful story or the other from girlfriends each day! why the heck do u think the brides friends dance like crazy at weddings? not just becos they are happy for their friend,but cos her marriage symbolises hope for them too.
    nice piece girl, i like.

  44. Kay

    May 18, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    Abeg this is by far the funniest stuff i’ve read in this section…the three missing front teeth definitely tops the list, i’d like to c dat on a grown ass man…But for real these stories are endless…
    God be wit us all on this journey called life…

    @ Lari, i prefer to think that we ‘ve to know what pain feels like to appreciate wat heaven is wen it does come around…i c yours coming soon…Hold on! cheers dear…

  45. Onayimi

    May 19, 2010 at 8:33 am

    Lol, this is so funny. But seriously, I won’t mind being one of ejire’s witches oh, that way I could make all the bad boys suffer once I identify them as bad.

  46. Ejiro

    May 19, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Nice one Ejire! But thank God for broken hearts. Yes, i say thank God coz had your friend married him, she would most likely have been sentenced to life in a kennel (coz he is a dog) for the rest of her life. So, we thank God for broken hearts and a second chance.

  47. LONSCO

    May 19, 2010 at 10:11 am

    @ lari, i feel your pain cos i went through something similar and he got the girl pregnant to boot! Today, i am deliriously happy with my hubby of 4 years and i look back everyday and thank God that things evolved the way they did. You see, men like that lack substance and they will always be found wanting when the storms of life come. So i thank God for you as i always do for myself.
    Ejire, i agree that they’re not worth the effort. it’s the women who marry them that i feel for!

  48. Dianah

    May 19, 2010 at 10:34 am

    trust me girls he aint worth all that stress if he left you in the first place.move on, make the most of ur life, and just make him regret ever leaving u each time he sees u or hear ur name.
    works for me, this time he wants u bak, but he sure cant have u.

  49. ABLA

    May 20, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    beautiful piece again.
    ejire thank GOD i’m not a witch. the men who have been awful are not worth the talk.
    God bless you for this is a release to freedom for alot of young, beautiful ladies.
    Pray to GOD whom you sold out to, he will give you direction guide and guard you through and through. i’m expectant of another beautiful piece even better than this one

  50. damilola

    May 20, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    hahahahaha! nice one. which girl wouldn’t want to be a witch??? if not for
    anything to find out which guy you will end up with.
    But yes we will all witness our miracle IJN

  51. Dagrin

    May 20, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Some of you ladies get what you have coming.
    You treat a guy like shit and hope he keeps coming back for more.
    Yet there are many other ladies out there who’d treat him like a king.
    Naturally, a man would rather be a king than be a shit……..

  52. HalleBerry

    May 21, 2010 at 7:49 pm

    Its a complete waste of time and energy trying to revenge.
    Trust me, karma is a bitch especially when the ladies dont deserve it.
    it happened to me too and i almost lost my life trying to prove my love to a man
    who thought he was God’s gift to women… I survived but he did not; Learnt he
    died days to his wedding day to the woman of his dreams.
    I have not stopped thanking God dat i did not end up a widow at an early age.
    Now i am wiser, stronger, and happily married to a friend whom i had always
    referred to as a GEEK. Dont give up on LOVE cos it will find u only if u believe!

  53. lina

    May 24, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    wow! i used to think that way too. but God we give us our miracle too. your friend,should know that he doesnt deserve her. ciao.

  54. Obi Wan Kenobi

    May 25, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    I’m laughing so hard tears are coming out of my eyes, you’d be one helluva swagger un-gingering witch. I can imagine guys cringing and falling in line at the mention of your name. Hilarious piece, if i was your friend i’d appreciate it. meanwhile thanks for making my day. man-woman issues are so complex and the effort that goes into analysing them so unrewarding, so laughing about is is a nice change

  55. Oyinda Akinso

    June 4, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Total Nonsense..Pls tell us somethin nu and reasonable

  56. ephee

    June 9, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    i have gone through it too and i can tell it was painful but the most intresting
    part of it is that God stood by me truout and i am a happy person again coz it
    was like i was in bondage(always doing everything to please my ex boyfriend
    now i am wiser, better,happier and positive.a broken relationship is far
    more better than a broken marriage.

    concerning revenge,i belive one should leave vegance for God ,he knows how
    to handle such cases to the extend that u wil beg him to stop and sometimes
    its for a reason which ends up as a blessings for us.

  57. Godlovesme4me

    June 9, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    Gosh!!! I really want to burst out laughing but unfortunately I’m sharing an office with one of my ogas so you can imagine how hard it was for me to laugh under my breath otherwise it will be obvious I aint doing no work…This is hilarious!!

    Its a gd thing some of us ladies are not witches…because this men for don dey big trouble. I hate hearing stories like ur friend’snd makes me despise these men even more but I’ve always known that KARMA is real so therefore what goes around must definitely come around eventually. A great guy will find ur friend if he hasnt found her already and she will realize the former was just a totally waste of her time.

    I’m telling you, even the worst gf I have…I wouldnt wish for such to happen to her.
    Guys please act right…dont and stop deceiving the ladies…if you wont marry her…tell her so she can decided whether she wants to stay or leave…but dont pretend that you will and then dump her just when she hoped you gonna propose…U hear me???

    Life goes on tho’…and we constantly pray that our Abraham will find us.

  58. Godlovesme4me

    June 9, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    Oh…btw

    BellaNaija…you rock!!

  59. uchechi

    June 13, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    ROTFL..liked the farting bit lol. Only if u wia a witch o..to all the single ladies, if he dissappoints u, surely he aint urs. I pray the Lord will heal ur wounds and give u d ability to love again. Be wise!

  60. Sleek

    September 13, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    LMAO…THANK GOD YOU ARE NOT A WITCH OOO..THEY ARE REALLY NOT WORTH FORSAKING UR LIFE FOR THE DEVIL BUT INSTEAD ENTURSTING ALL OUR ENDEAVOURS TO GOD….LOL

  61. Rosemary

    January 25, 2011 at 11:02 am

    LWKMD…..nice article i must confess.

  62. Adara oluwatobi harrison

    September 16, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Helen paul is d best female comedian in Nigeria

  63. goodgalturnbad

    August 2, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    LOL… THIS ARTICLE MADE ME RECALL SOME PRETTY TERRIBLE EXes. 3 arseholes in particular. i wonder y i was so crazy abt them. the first 1 lasted 3 months- i wasnt ready for sex and he kept hounding me. then began toasting my friends to spite me. i kept forgiving him until he sexually harassed and tore my clothes. then i became a witch overnyt and smashed his windscreens. then , d 2nd i dated for 4 year, i still cant imagine how he managed to impregnate his Ex twice. i was too devastated to chop witch for this one so i moved on quietly. and started dating after a yr of mourning. i met d king of arseholes. he did everythn WRONG!!! Made me pick d tabs always, even at my birthday outing o ( despite having a great job). then he harassed me verbally and hit me in his car , dat was wn withcraft resurfaced. next i knew , i flung his brand new iphone 4 out d window and some passer by ran off with it. LOL END OF RELATIONSHIP. Now i have made a promise to stick with nice boys o. so witchy traits dont rare up.

  64. sweerymoi

    September 27, 2012 at 11:57 am

    @goodgarlturnbad, i think you story should have been the article itself,its more hilarious LOL. I can’t believe you had it that rough dear, that should do for a lifetime

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