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BN Prose: Tender Loving Care By Fisayo Talabi

Fisayo Talabi

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He felt his wallet in his pocket and immediately brought it out as soon as Laide excused herself to go to the Ladies. She left her plate half empty and her fork and knife were gently and sleekly placed side by side. He could still feel the strong endearing scent of her Estee Lauder perfume. Without even counting the notes in the wallet, he could calculate that he did not have up to Ten thousand naira. Maybe she had formed a high impression about him because of the Lexus he had picked her up in, or because of the kind of restaurant he brought her to.

A waiter passed. He raised his hand, asking him to come. The waiter smiled as he approached him. “Odeh”, Dapo cursed in his mind. “he’s expecting a tip.”
“Um…please is there a cash machine around here? Or do you accept ATM cards?” he asked.

“Yes, we accept ATM cards, but there is a machine just outside the door, at the entrance.”

Laide was walking towards them already. The same smile that spread across her face, revealing her pretty dimple, when he picked her up earlier, was the same one she was wearing now. She sat gracefully and brushed her neat hair with her well manicured fingers.

“Hey,” she said. Dapo smiled. As the waiter turned to go, she called him back. Dapo’s heart began to race. What did she want to order again?

“Yes Ma?” the waiter said.

“I saw your ice scream section. You have very nice and different flavours. Can I have a cup of three flavours mixed, please?” she smiled.

“I will bring you the menu so that you can choose from it. I’ll be right back.”
In a jiffy, he was back with their menu. She made her choice, and added a muffin to the order.

“Oh, Daps, do you want some dessert too?” she asked, after the waiter had gone to serve her order.

He smiled and shook his head.

He wanted to update his BlackBerry status about how angry he was and how he had ‘entered one chance’ but Laide was also on his contact list, and would see the update.
He had met her four weeks ago at a colleague’s wedding in Abuja. He had travelled from Lagos alone and he did not want the opportunity of meeting a beautiful woman to pass him by. He had gone over to her seat at the wedding reception, and introduced himself. In fact, he had caught the groom’s garter so that was enough ground to ignite a conversation. She had told him that she lived in Lagos also, and had recently completed her NYSC at Chevron, in Lekki. The bride was her secondary school friend. They exchanged numbers, and as soon as they got to Lagos, Dapo began to follow her up. She seemed nice, interesting and fun to hang out with. Besides his girlfriend was still in Dundee for her Master’s Degree programme and he needed a woman to fill in her space till she at least came home for Christmas, or till the next time he travelled to the UK.

The previous week, he had invited Laide over to his house for the weekend, and they had watched football together, and ordered Pizza. By evening, he had poured her a glass of alcohol, with high hopes for the night,when she said “I don’t drink. It’s getting late, my parents will be angry.”

She asked him for some money to take a Red Cab home, and when she sensed his reluctance, she kissed him, and promised they would hang out the next weekend. He sighed and gave her Five thousand naira, as she carried the left over pizza and stuffed the pack in her giant Jimmy Choo handbag.

The total bill was 13,600 Naira. She passed him the bill, smiling, and brushing back the strands of the Indian hair he had bought, because she kept talking about how all her friends were fixing Peruvian and Indian weaves, and that she felt intimidated.
2 Chinese Rice – 4300
Noodles- 1000
Sweet and Sour Sauce- 2000
Stir Fry Sauce- 2500
3 Samosa- 1000
Water – 500
Ice cream (3 Scoops)- 1500
Chocolate Muffin- 800

Dapo stared at the Bill. He had been eyeing a perfume which was just 11,000 Naira, the other day, at the mall, but decided to ignore it, because he was trying to save up some money. Smoothly, he rubbed his palms together, and looked at the pretty girl sitting opposite him.

“Laide, so, are you coming home with me today?” He asked. She was typing something on her BlackBerry. He checked his updates. She had changed her display picture. She had snapped herself in the restroom, pouting, and playing with her Indian Weave. He smiled.

“Yes, we are going to your place, but my sister just pinged me. She wants me to babysit her children overnight because she and her husband are going for a vigil at the church.”
“Alright baby, give me a minute. I need to get some money at the cash machine, okay? Don’t go anywhere; I’ll just take a minute. Do you want any take away?”

She smiled, shaking her head.

“Dapo you want to spoil me silly. Please I’m watching my weight o!”

He nodded, and then, walked towards the entrance of the restaurant. There was a little queue at the ATM stand. He kept walking till he entered his car, reversed, and drove off.
The next time he checked his phone, Lai baby, as he stored her contact, had called him like a dozen times. She kept pinging him, and her update was now an angry smilee. As soon as he got home, he took a cold shower, called his girlfriend over the phone, and then went to hang out with his friends, gisting them about the leech of a girl he had met in Abuja.

For the next couple of days, she updated her status with words like, Men are pigs, Some men are so stingy, Trust no man, Heart breaker, I can pay my Bills…and after a legion of unreplied pings, she deleted him off her contact list.

Fisayo Talabi is a lawyer with an absolute zeal for writing short stories. olufisayotalabi.blogspot.com @fisilicious on Twitter @fisayotalabi on Instagram

119 Comments

  1. Sylvia

    November 9, 2011 at 10:17 am

    ROTFLMAO. Dat serves her right. Am always careful anytime i hang out with a man to avoid f up cos men cant be trusted. Ladies be wise!!!!!

    • Gorgeous

      November 9, 2011 at 9:26 pm

      But seriously is N13,800 a lot of money for dinner? I dunno sha o, i guess i spend more than that on a night out with my sister, not to talk of a man. Thats like $50 per person, not that much sha imo. Thats the price of a plate of food and a drink in some restaurants now.

    • Twix

      November 10, 2011 at 11:14 am

      In a country where per capita income is lower than that….trust me its a lot

    • t

      November 11, 2011 at 4:07 am

      even here in Yanky, we wouldn’t spend that much on an average dinner that has most (if not all) of what was on this menu described…Nigerians are such wasters..ALL IN THE NAME OF SHOW OFF!!!…PSCHEW!

  2. kiki

    November 9, 2011 at 10:23 am

    I know exactly how to deal with men like this…….if you couldnt afford to pay that amount why did you take her to an expensive restaurant. You should have taken her somewhere you know you can afford even if she fills her stomach and her handbag with food.
    Laide should have agreed to follow him to his house then on their way out AFTER HE HAD PAID, then tell him her sister just called.

    • Gidiss

      November 9, 2011 at 2:50 pm

      Do u think she really wanted to go home with him or all she was after was the food… all these girls are just gold diggers…

  3. frivolities

    November 9, 2011 at 10:26 am

    O my Lord! I’m laughing so hard here at my desk. This is just so hilarious, and its written by a girl…. Fisayo dear I hope this is not from experience (just kidding)

  4. kiki

    November 9, 2011 at 10:29 am

    he even has a girlfriend and expects an “osho free f-” from other babes. Typical Lagos guys. Not that am in support of the babe shes obviously a greedy one, But leaving a date with a bill in a restaurant you took her to, just bcos she wont f- you makes you a douche bag. And if a trailer truck ran into your precious borrowed car on ur way out of the restaurant….guess what….YOU DESERVED TO DIE.

    • kenks

      November 9, 2011 at 12:34 pm

      Haba! (@u deserve to die!)
      Ko ley to yen!!!!!! (E no reach like that na!!!)
      Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

    • kiki

      November 9, 2011 at 3:15 pm

      lol

    • Biodun

      November 9, 2011 at 6:48 pm

      wow Kiks. You type with such ferocity. has this ever happened to you? Yes the guy is guilty for wanting something extra on the side BUT women like this? I hate them so much i equate them to scum. Since when did a toaster become ur daddy? or ATM machine? You know..those kind of greedy girls with weaves and blackberry phones their parents can probably never afford even if they saved up for all eternity? so please kiki i believe it goes both ways..and wishing the man death only makes us believe u support ‘leechy’ behavior. Perhaps she should also choke on a strand of her Brazilian weave. That balances out methinks!!

    • keke

      November 10, 2011 at 10:40 am

      lol @ choking on a strand of her brazillian weave. The gal was just greedy. nothing goees for nothing.

    • t

      November 11, 2011 at 4:09 am

      ….Kiki, while you are hating on the guy, you should also be aware that a girl ALWAYS holds ‘vex money’….THAT IS THE RULE!!!!..anything can happen. what if he forgot his wallet in the car and then his car had been broken into?..you think he would wash plate alone?

  5. sarafina

    November 9, 2011 at 10:31 am

    Dat dude is a broke ass -*angry face*

  6. oppsie

    November 9, 2011 at 10:34 am

    lol.but to be fair you did invite her out.if u were going to dump her, u should at least have done that after the evening. but on second thoughts maybe she needed a lesson.

  7. james macpherson

    November 9, 2011 at 10:35 am

    LMFAO, that serves her right thieving bastard!!

  8. fatima

    November 9, 2011 at 10:36 am

    hahahahahahaa nice one…..

  9. lala

    November 9, 2011 at 10:36 am

    lol

  10. Holla

    November 9, 2011 at 10:40 am

    kudos,fisayo,i enjoyed ur write-up, serves her right, greedy glutton.keep it up.

  11. diamond

    November 9, 2011 at 10:43 am

    she’s not greedy at all. come on! he’s driving a LEXUS. doesn’t that mean, his pocket should fit the car. and even if she ate the whole world, he chose the restaurant, knew what her appetite was, yet he took her to an expensive restaurant, to impress once more. she was so unfortunate that he was smarter than her. well,that’s where trust comes in. she trusted him too much. oh! he wasnt really smarter. atleast he didnt get the cookie. whatever he got from Laide (as i had to spend) serves him right.
    He has a girlfriend and he wants to fill up the space. So when his UK babe comes back, what happens to Laide? Nonsense!

  12. ugofrances

    November 9, 2011 at 10:49 am

    lwkm .. serves the both of them right. hehehehehe

  13. adenike

    November 9, 2011 at 10:53 am

    @Kiki,you don’t have to take this personal. Girls that talk the way you do sure have the money to foot such bills should that type of man decides to act like that,besides your type won’t eat all that I’m sure.
    There’s something we (ladies) call ‘vex money’,it means ‘what if he bolts away like Dapo’? If a guy invites me out,i don’t go eating like I’m going for a contest,i eat what my ‘vex money’ can cover because you never can tell. There are so many hungry girls out there and it’s obvious Laide is one of them. Hungry and shallow.
    Fisayo Talabi,well done! You got me laughing all the way!

    • kiki

      November 9, 2011 at 3:09 pm

      lol…..i knw i kinda took it personal, the babe sef no try, but i HATE guys who take you to a fancy place they know they cant afford….when you didnt beg them.
      All the Laide’s of this world should learn what “vex money” as you rightly put it is.

    • titilayo

      November 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm

      lwkmd @vex money…..bt smart move

  14. alext

    November 9, 2011 at 11:10 am

    he chose to take her out, didn’t tell her he was low on cash n let her order, gave her the impression he could the good afford the good things in life n he left her hanging in the restaurant. That was pretty low!

  15. smile

    November 9, 2011 at 11:12 am

    she don lefooooooo! that guy must be a benin boi and the babe a bloddy yoruba -!

    • MIRA

      November 9, 2011 at 2:42 pm

      ASIN I TOTALLY AGREE WITH U …. NA BENIN GUY DO THAT THING …PLUS YORUBA BABES U NA AWOOF TOO MUCH , THE THING DEY RUN BELE

    • Gorgeous

      November 9, 2011 at 9:17 pm

      You are ridiculously insane for your unnecessary statement. Maybe it would help if you could read you will find out that the two characters have Yoruba names. I wonder where silly tribal insults came in play. Shame on bella naija for even entertaining such comments. How hypocritical. Am sure if it was about ibo it will not make the comment page. rubbish

    • omoyemi

      November 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm

      bloody yoruba? u a bigot? u dnt have to write everything dat comes to mind just so we can see ur post, pls have some respect!

  16. shydiva

    November 9, 2011 at 11:15 am

    isee so many guys commenting on this write-up…stingy cows

  17. Enuff said

    November 9, 2011 at 11:24 am

    we could call Lil miss thing greedy, but i think the problem was the guy, why do people try so hard to create an impression and never live up to that expectation beats me. You dont take a girl to lunch in Oriental Hotel when you can only afford Mr biggs, it puts both parties in an embarrassing situation. The guy was buying her Indian weaves etc what the hell was he thinking? he had obviously created a big boy illusion and home gurl was milking him well. I think it serves him right because he was been generous for ulterior motives, he wanted a quick shag. i think the babe should have laughed it off , she enjoyed the ride while it lasted, sometimes this is always the best way to treat some guys.

  18. shola

    November 9, 2011 at 11:29 am

    i like what he did…..she’s definitely an awoof girl. even if u like food , u for pretend …all that food for one night?

  19. chi chi

    November 9, 2011 at 11:31 am

    stupid guy. y u no carry am go cheaper restaurant ehn? any TFC or KFC or even Sweet Senation for better for the both of u. mumu man!, why u no wait 4 ur babe 2 com bak? Mtchwew! .Na u ask her out, na u dey pose with lexus moto, na u carry am go fancy restaurant, so why u com dey complain?. heartless, foolish, user of a man. oloshi! *hold me bak abeg*

    • Gidiss

      November 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm

      This issue has nothing to do with how expensive the restaurant was but how greedy the girl was… She was only out for his money and nothing else… At the end of the day she won’t even follow him home… to tell u that she already knew what she was up to… I think it is high time everyone pays their own bills like people do over here in Europe…

    • Onyx

      November 11, 2011 at 9:04 am

      @ Gidis, biko, no vex but even here in Europe some “proper” men still dey foot bill during dates. And I dey talk both oyibo and blackie

      This is why I can’t deal when some Naija men want to spout off on that “European 50/50” tip. Please, if you no wan spend money for ya babe, talk say you no get (at least that’s honest). No dey talk all this “we dey Europe” bizness.

  20. Fregene

    November 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Some women sha… whatever happened to vex money? always handy in situations like this…

  21. Southernbelle

    November 9, 2011 at 11:39 am

    LWKMD!!!! Dapo no try sha but even Lai baby sef..lol.. Hilarious piece Fisayo, welldone!!!

  22. cathy

    November 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha correct guy

  23. olamibo

    November 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

    very funny indeed….hope ladies wil learn from this.

  24. Tiki

    November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

    LMAO! The boy no try sha..when u take a girl out in a Lexus, to a posh restaurant, are you expecting her to order the cheapest thing on the menu? Next time he should cut his coat according to his size… the girl may have overdone it but he led her on sha!

  25. tumi's

    November 9, 2011 at 11:54 am

    My 2 cents……it serves the two of them right. The girl for wanting freebies and not willing to give anything in return. All those excuses after all the money he had spent on her. Besides, babes should learn to eat in moderation, haba 3 diff ice-cream flavours and a muffin after consuming a main dish earlier. i m sure if he offered her suya on the way back, she would have accepted. The boy for being disloyal to his babe and wanting just a shag.

    • Onyx

      November 11, 2011 at 9:08 am

      Dead @ “if he’d offered her suya”. Hahahahahahaha!!! And na true…

  26. Oluchi

    November 9, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    That’s how they jump from one one woman to the other, knowing fully well, they have someone somewhere they are into serious relationship wit, I only pity the lady and I believe, she has learnt her lesson the hard way. Men that claim to have heaven and earth should not be taken as serious men because if you have something, you don’t need to make so much noise, time will tell.

  27. Ivory

    November 9, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Whatever Laide did,she did well. A “rich” guy was filling his time with her…so??? Ride on…point one:she got rid of him before he did!!! Way to go..!!!.

  28. Lue

    November 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    lwkmd………….chai!!!!! so who come pay the money o?
    gud for the guy, stupid boy, you know say yu get girlfrnd, yu still wan do chop and go………she sef wan do chop and go too
    http://lucianochinwe.blogspot.com/

  29. Mike

    November 9, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    “… He kept walking till he entered his car, reversed, and drove off.” <----------- i fell off my sit at this point..lmao

  30. Me

    November 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    If he wanted sex and was willing to part with money, he should have just gotten a prostitute.

  31. ufedo

    November 9, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    The boy too try abeg! ROTFLMAO

  32. Chynadollng

    November 9, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    @smile: #r[email protected] ur statement…Pscheeew…
    the piece is just so hilarious…But really he did not have to do that. Could have gone to a cheaper restaurant/eatery or better still pay up and X d girl…But Laide sef na glutton..Lol…omo lomor

  33. Bolanle

    November 9, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    lol this is funny! I agree if he took her out to eat why can he not foot the bill considering he took her to that restaurant so pay up! If you allow yourself to be sucked in by someone elses vain ideals i.e. purchasing her indian hair etc etc, why would you not expect her to use you in that way.

    if you set boundaries a woman/man will know it is something they can not cross. if she ask’s and you always give her what she wants why would she expect anything less!

  34. Pweerybabie

    November 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    Nice one Fisayo….rily nice piece

  35. Micheal

    November 9, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    Tale of two greedy lovers…..one longa throat lady and another glutton of a guy…aint no pity for both of them.!!!

    • kiki

      November 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm

      Exactly…you just hit the nail on the head. they deserve each other. lol

  36. kammy

    November 9, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    Hahahahahahahahaha uwa nka ooo!, serves both of them right! nice write up btw Fisayo, feels soo real “hugggggsss”

  37. Gidiss

    November 9, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    I want to be like this guy when i grow up…. All these girls are gold diggers and they’ll not even give u 1% of ur money’s worth at the end of the day… I have learned from this genius of a guy, he did well. In Europe everyone pays their bills, why must it be about what men can offer?

    • kiki

      November 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm

      Sweet heart REAL MEN pay the restaurant bills. If you cant feed a babe you like or @ least want to shag, i dont know what in the hell she will be doing with you.

    • Wahl

      November 10, 2011 at 6:16 am

      No be 2 of una go enjoy am? You act as if it’s only the guys that enjoy the deed

  38. Kemi

    November 9, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    You guys are getting wrong!!!
    Yes the girl was greedy but the guys was wrong from the beginning!!! HE HAS A GF!!! Is it a taboo to be faithful??????

  39. Oladapo

    November 9, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    Hehehehehehehe correct guy! I can imagine laide with her indian weave on washing plates in the kitchen of the restaurant hahahahahaha.

  40. John

    November 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    Hahahahahah…….The guy should have gone for a prostitute I cannot understand why he is wasting his money on that useless girl.

  41. BrownSugah

    November 9, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    I wish i knew what to say. Who’s playing who? None is righteous. Pleaseeeeeeee (Nice read though)
    http:/nitabrownsugah.wordpress.com

  42. tania

    November 9, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Agreed the girl is very greedy. Used to know girls like that in school who will eat the whole world when they go out on dates and come back back with takeaways that ten people cant finish. I had one room mate who came back with everything you can think of including bags of “popcorn”. The “POPCORN” was in the fridge for up to one week. That being said i find it annoying when guys think you have to sleep with them just because they spent money on you. please go and get a prostitute.

  43. Enigma

    November 9, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    it only shows we are all messed up! seeing all the comments……the guy only wanted to shine her congo from the word go….. so all the lexus and posh restaurant was just pompori…only God know wat he had bragged about with the poor thing and she too decided to do her own na…………..wat if she ordered the least expensive thing, he would paid abi, the shined her and dumped her abi…..

  44. Haddy

    November 9, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    heheh. Well, i won’t analyse because its BN Prose- not a true story! but funny sha..Well done to the writer!

  45. truthhurts

    November 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Blame d guy 4 givin her a wrong impression of himself 4 buyin all d hair in d 1st place but never blame him 4 hvn a GF he wants 2 cheat on…all guys do it,evenur dads &if ur guy doesn’t do it,its just a matter of tym…..only 1% of guys r faitthful….those that hv the fear of God.

    • ireke

      November 9, 2011 at 8:50 pm

      truthhurts, who did this to you???? only 1%? I beg to differ

  46. Lagos Boy

    November 9, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    LMFAO… I say leave them all at the restaurant if they are not giving up the goodies after the 2nd date…:)

  47. princess

    November 9, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    The girl is a smart girl jor! If it was some foolishe girls they wud have opened their legs the words, “u are d girl 4 me”. VEX MONEY VEX MONEY is very important. Moral lesson; always carry VEX money and close ur legs.

  48. timi

    November 9, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    i dont blame the guy cos some girls over do some tins,she dey order wetin she no fit afford to chop on a normal day……wen i go out on a date with a guy i always make sure i order for sometime i can afford nd also make sure that i have enough moni to pay for my taxi fare for A holes like him who try to be funny so i can leave any time i want to

  49. Theodora

    November 9, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  50. Molly

    November 9, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Nice write up…

    If it were reality – the girl is greedy and should have showed some more decorum & restraint – dunno how people get off asking a guy to buy their weaves etc, werent u using a weave b4 u met him? As for the guy – unfaithful, poser, no substance, no character. I really have no respect for guys that take u out on a date & can’t pay, its not about the money, its about being a man! Its about how much u want to impress a lady that u like, it says I like you and I enjoy your company – where has chilvalry gone these days?? After u become official boyfriend & girlfriend then u can start splitting bills, not when u r still chasing a woman, u shld b putting ur best foot forward. And by splitting bills – I mean u take her out and she takes u out next time – not bringing out a calculator to calculate ok u had d shrimps, I had salad, salad is 1.99, shrimps 3.99, mimosa 6.99, apple juice 2.00 …and so forth, NO!

    • molly

      November 9, 2011 at 11:00 pm

      Rotflmao!!! @ calculator. Wouldn’t THAT be a funny sight.

    • Onyx

      November 11, 2011 at 9:15 am

      I knew one foolish man that used to do that…. not exactly whipping out the calculator but you could see his brain furiously working before the inevitable words came out: “… honey, do you have £X with you to complete the bill?”

      We did not last.

  51. Molly

    November 9, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Nice write up…
    If it were reality – the girl is greedy and should have showed some more decorum & restraint – dunno how people get off asking a guy to buy their weaves etc, werent u using a weave b4 u met him? As for the guy – unfaithful, poser, no substance, no character. I really have no respect for guys that take u out on a date & can’t pay, its not about the money, its about being a man! Its about how much u want to impress a lady that u like, it says I like you and I enjoy your company – where has chivalry gone these days?? After u become official boyfriend & girlfriend then u can start splitting bills, not when u r still chasing a woman, u shld b putting ur best foot forward. And by splitting bills – I mean u take her out and she takes u out next time – not bringing out a calculator to calculate ok u had d shrimps, I had salad, salad is 1.99, shrimps 3.99, mimosa 6.99, apple juice 2.00 …and so forth, NO!

  52. tinuforbes

    November 9, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    lmao choi anti laide u sef too do whenever i have to go out with a guy on a date trust me weneva its time to pick pick i ask questions like can i buy it? do you have enough money on you? is dis or that ok? nd stuffs like that aldo som guys would want to form nd say i have enuf money buh wait o what happened to vex money i should blame the both of them tho the guy shud ave gone 2 mr biggs jeje nd laide shouldnt ave eaten like that if the food she actually ate was only 4 her stomach nice 1 sha

  53. shola

    November 9, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    lovely write up……..i likeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  54. iwalewa

    November 9, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    laugh wan comot shirt for my body ooooooooooooooo.abeg leave d guy alone,forget expensive restaurant,d girl is greedy.dey both wan play maga for each other.i no fit laugh again jareeeeeeeee.

  55. BukiOni

    November 9, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Soo funny… I know this is fiction but she should have offered to pay part of the bill if she knew she wanted to indulge. But it seems that she did herself a favour as not only is he cheap but also taken #no one wants to be the jumpoff

  56. pendo

    November 9, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    ha ha ha ha ha this is too funny. If i was Laide i would revenge by getting one of my girlfriend’s befriend him sweeten him up and take him out to a really expensive restaurant (after he has taken her out on a few dates first) on a pretext or the other (like showing him how much she cares) and leave him there with the bill LOL or better still slash the tyres of that lexus am sure it was borrowed. But anyway this Laide chic should have had some cash handy for such situations

  57. Turn turn turner

    November 9, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    I’m just commenting on the comments here…not the story.
    It’s amazing the number of guys (and seemingly girls too) that have the notion that buying a meal or 2 for a girl should equate to her surrendering her body to the paying guy. What does that even mean?
    People have really lost the plot oh!

  58. auntie

    November 9, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    LOOL!

  59. Chinazar

    November 9, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    She excused herself to go & take photos in d ladies. LWKMD.
    Funny… Interesting.

  60. Olulu

    November 9, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    LWMMPSIMSG
    (Laff wan make ME pour salt inside my soaked garri….!!!)

  61. osee

    November 9, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    sers, i dont know wat was on that list of items dat is so much. i guess both of them ate the food. then the guy left the bill for the food he had eaten for the girl to pay? after inviting her to eat? i dont get it. what offense did the girl commit? the list of food is not so much. the guy’s behaviour is so ungentlemanly. even if i have so much money and i am not a gold digger, may such wretched guys never come my way…so he thinks food can make her pull down her pants. lol. im sorry for girls who have allowed that happen them. the only way food should make u pull down ur pants is when u want to pass it out. nothing else.

  62. osee

    November 9, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    and for those of u who are saying that she must aask herself if she can afford it, does this mean that a poor man can not eat really expensive dish. think of it this way. u are a driver and ur boss invites u to lunch with him, will u only eat wat u can afford? wont u like an opportunity to eat a really sexy inviting dish different from wat u have eaten before? answer that…

  63. leo

    November 9, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    i don die eeee. Kai u no go kill me fisayo.

  64. Sett

    November 9, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    typical naija mentality of always blaming the victim. i am shocked by how anyone would think this serves the girl right when the dude is all round shady.

  65. blah

    November 9, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    Nice article.I think people should just be upfront about their intentions in a r/ship. Are we exclusive, fwb, in an open r/ship or we just flat out hooking up? Its kinda embarrassing for a girl 2 go to a restaurant and want to order the whole world. Don’t you have food in your house or are you that hard up? As for the guy, what would it take to get a decent faithful man these days *smh*

    Btw, do you guys remember one story on BN prose story about some newly weds. She was on a diet and what not, she came in from the store with a chef salad. Meanwhile her hubby was planning to surprise her with ogbono and threw her salad in the trash. Then she pushed his pot of soup down the drain..yada yada… Who wrote that story? And does she have a blog? Is ma fav BN prose yet.

  66. faith

    November 10, 2011 at 1:07 am

    D girl no wise atall!…she shuld av said yes wen he asked her τ̅☺ go with him τ̅☺ his house….then leave after he must av paid…if it were me Dats wat I wuld av done…

  67. @_Iyore

    November 10, 2011 at 1:26 am

    Did she say she’s watching her weight ? And still ordered all that food? Loool . Call Jenny Craig hahahah

  68. Nikki

    November 10, 2011 at 2:01 am

    ROTFLMAO

  69. Myne Whitman

    November 10, 2011 at 2:20 am

    They even drank water for crying out loud. The guy is a scrub, sponging off others and expecting free sx. Na wa…

  70. iTawa

    November 10, 2011 at 4:43 am

    LWKM4H OOOOOOO! Hilarity….hahahaha can’t stop laughing!

  71. Fairy GodSister

    November 10, 2011 at 5:11 am

    LMAO!!!!!!! I love it! Serves her right! And him too, for ‘attempting to’ cheat on his girlfriend in Dundee….

  72. @ms_clare_areh

    November 10, 2011 at 8:21 am

    LMAO!!!!!!!! omg. Ladies dis is a lesson, ALWAYS CARRY VEX MONEY,ALWAYS!!!!

  73. oopsiedaisy

    November 10, 2011 at 8:23 am

    Na wa o since when did taking a girl translate to expecting her to sleep with you/follow you home. Men are so cheap and they expect to be “paid” in kind for spending money on a woman. Obviously Laide caught the vibe that the guy didn’t really “send” her so she no send am too, but she shouldn’t have eaten so much, bad impression…

  74. anita

    November 10, 2011 at 9:37 am

    GOD, PLEASE GIVE US THE GIFT OF SPOTTING FAKE MEN/WOMEN FROM A MILE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The guy was wrong from all sides though, a lot of girls are willing to go to a regular fast food restaurant if u are honest enough to say that is all you can afford at the moment. Why create a fake identity then bolt all because you can’t get laid not even for a relationship/marriage…might as well go pick a prostitute if all you want is someone to warm your bed when your girl is not around. Besides 13k is NOT a lot of money!!
    The girl obviously had her vex money, how else did she leave the restaurant that day? She even updated her status to ‘I can pay my own bills’……way to go!

  75. Will

    November 10, 2011 at 9:41 am

    The reason the guy skele is not because he couldn’t afford to get money from the ATM and settle the bills but because just at that moment he came to the realization that he was dealing with a kura (Crook) just like him who had not the slightest intention of giving up P**** (infact the guy just realise say AH! na bad investment be this o! at the rate this is going, i fit no even see lap rub o! which kain criminal girl be dis sef – okay i no what to do!); this was what was going through his mind. Moral to the story, alls well that ends well – Cunny man die, cunny woman bury am!

  76. Yehyah

    November 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

    LMAO!!! Great read!!!!

    http://the-white-list.blogspot.com

  77. Mrs. O

    November 10, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    OUCH!!! No show on both sides mehn. OUCH!!!

  78. Patience I

    November 10, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    LOL!!!!!! ….. men! …. see harshness o

  79. lekwe

    November 10, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    the guy is just a scum!!!!!!
    what did she order for that is expensive, he took her to an expensive restaurant for crying out loud! and they both shared the meal, which means she only eat about N6,500 worth of food. pls what he had anticipated to be the bill abeg?

  80. Nk

    November 10, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    @this is a fiction n not reality… Pur-leassssssssssssse!! Ofcourse it does happen!!!
    I can’t stand girls like Laide who make every guy they meet as Ahlaji Bring Bring!!! And I can’t stand Mr Lexus man either who think they can have a bit on the side while the mrs in Dundee ….
    Lol @ the BB status in the rest room! Typical 🙂

  81. Tosin

    November 10, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Free food ko, free food ni. If I was a boy…

  82. rosellar

    November 11, 2011 at 5:01 am

    Gosh! I am shocked at the poeple having a laugh about this. D girl is NOT GREEDY!!!! How much is N13,600 for crying out loud??? Which kinda restaurant sells bottled water for N500 only, seriously? D guy is just a cheapskate, unfaithful low-life. I hope someone does it to his sisters or his daughters. And ladies, pls be prepared always. U could offer in advance to pick your bill and if he takes you to a restaurant and u don’t have enough money, u gotta make sure he pays d bill before he moves, even if he’s gotta piss!!!! Note also that many of these vile men drive 2nd/3rd/4th user cars and they are even paying installmentally cos d car-dealers are broke!!! Mschew!!!!! U can’t judge d pocket by †ђξ car, u need to examine d person with SURGICAL eyes!

    • justsayin

      November 16, 2011 at 2:10 pm

      FYI, THE ENTIRE INCOME OF SOME HOUSEHOLDS IS THAT AMOUNT, IF IT IS NOTHING TO YOU IT IS SOMETHING TO OTHERS.

  83. PD

    November 11, 2011 at 8:37 am

    abeg……d girl don see thru the facade from day1…..he just pay mugu moni joor…..if u give me i go collect….but sometin u no go see…….i just blame d girl as she no hold vex moni !!!

  84. mena

    November 11, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Lol…I jst had a similar experience bt he couldn’t gt away.wat d f… Is happening d only fault the boy could find was dat the chick wouldn’t go home wit him if nt dat he would ave paid d bill. guys grow up jst bcus u buy us breakfast lunch nd dinner doesn’t mean u will gt a shag

  85. Nonsochukwu

    November 11, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    In igbo we refer to such gurls as “usakpa”, she cud as well as have asked to eat at the kitchen so her choices could be clearer. As for the guys, as much as we love to make it a “fairytale outing” for our fans we need to be sure of our pockets shikena

  86. Mek

    November 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    First rule…Do not take a babe out to where you cannot afford.
    The girl was very very silly. But the guy gave her the opportunity to be silly, however leaving her like that was lame.

  87. B!

    November 11, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    Exactly oooooo. Please I’m at a loss here. He ate half of the food didnt he? Or was she the only one who ate at the restaurant? Lets assume that she and she alone ate all that food then fine, her behaviour might be questionable. But are we supposed to believe that he just sat there and was watching her eat without chopping anything? He is a PSYCHO. What manner of moron takes a girl out only for ulterior motives ( i.e wanting to sleep with her ) and then leaves without even paying his share of the bill? And he even had the temerity to ask her “Do you want any take – away ? ” . My God i hope this isnt a true story. Typical nigerians will blame the Laide babe even though she was the victim without looking at all angles of the issue.
    You know who i feel sorry for? His girlfriend. Oloriburuku ni boy yen . Wallahi.

  88. bcgeorge

    November 12, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    In retrospect, if she had followed him home and they shag, would Dapo have felt she’s greedy?

  89. kez

    November 12, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    Perfect just perfect. For the guy it took you long enuff to realise she wasn’t going to give it away. For the girl you are an embarrassment to the code of young independent women. If a man has a woman abroad and is lonely dont try and waste away you money coz you want some, be str8 with the woman end off.

  90. Afronubia

    November 13, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    Stupid boy. He wanted to use the poor girl to pass time till his gf in Dundee came back abi? Becos Laide no be human being worthy of his respect and money abi? Why didnt he take her to a cheaper restaurant? Stupid, low-life mofo! Left the poor girl to foot the bill after eating part of the food. Seriously how much can woman eat? I’m sure she ate like 45% of the total food.

  91. Tsunade

    November 13, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    @blah, I think the name of that story ur lookin for is ‘First fight’.. Cant remember who wrote it tho..

  92. pynk

    November 14, 2011 at 11:19 am

    both of them r sorry excuses for human beings. The girl was greedy and the guy is a thief. lol. simple “marremarrics”!

  93. Folake

    November 27, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    Thank God I don’t weave!!! brazilian, Indian, Peruvian, Italian…I don’t put fake hair on my pure natural African hair.. I got from my mama!!!! weave is fake and a waste of time..I took conscience… 4 years ago… Ladies.. don’t trust men..who want to spend on you..they 100% want what you have between your two legs..Abi?

  94. joycometh

    December 28, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Hmm kind of dnt like d way dapo handled d situation he shud at least caution d lady or better still took her to a more affordable restuarant.afterall he chose to be d man in control.running away doesn’t make him smart,rada a stupid man.good write up

  95. camo

    June 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    That dapo is very very lucky, let him pray he doesnt meet some people. Mad man

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