My friend, Mo, asked me to come and rescue him from what he called an “irritating situation”. I was to show up in exactly 2 and half minutes and ask him to come and buy Sharwarma for me; that way the person bugging him would have no choice but to go away. So, I did as I was told but I had to know what exactly the person was saying to him. Apparently, the guy was preaching about how Mo needed to settle down and start a family so he wouldn’t be the oldest person at his son’s graduation. “That’s all? That’s what you dragged me out here to come and save you from? Women deal with this stuff EVERYDAY son! Deal with it!”
The issue of this ticking biological clock is something we deal with everyday because with every second that passes, we’re getting older. Last week, Spanish model and sister to actress, Penelope Cruz, Monica Cruz gave birth to a baby girl. 36 year old Monica told the press that she had always dreamed of having her own child and she decided to go for artificial insemination. As a single woman, it is something I have always thought of as requiring a lot of bravery.
It is often said that a woman’s chances of being fertile begins to decline immediately she hits 35 and you find a lot of women rushing into marriages because they want to have children but they don’t want to do it outside of wedlock. Unfortunately, there are times when there’s no husband in the horizon and these women still want to have children. Surely, one cannot begrudge a woman who feels the impulse to be a mother. I know of a woman whose husband died and they didn’t have children together. A few years after he died, she got pregnant and had a little girl. The prying eyes of the world wanted to know who the father of her child was and her response to them was “It is none of your business. I want a child to love and care for but I’m not ready to emotionally commit to another long term relationship/marriage”.
I have an aunty who was unlucky in love so she adopted two kids. Her son got married last December and her daughter is graduating this year from medical school. There’s a certain glow around her and she always attributes it to the stars of her life – her children. She didn’t let anything hold her back from getting what she always wanted. There were a lot of people who questioned her decision and called her names but she always stuck to her decision.
There are a lot of professional, beautiful and smart women today who want to take the leap and just go with their natural instinct for nurture because they want to do it while they are physically and mentally able to do so. However, they’re second-guessing themselves because of societal and cultural “norms”.
There are so many more stories that I could share with you but I think I’ve gotten a certain point across. Should society determine whether or not we should have kids? What’s the origin of the stigma behind having children out of wedlock in any situation? Who determines the right time to have children? Marriage, religion or family?
Photo Credit: madamenoire.com