While at work a few days ago, I had a thought – a nice evening swim will be good. I had missed the nice soothing water in the pool at Ikoyi club and all of a sudden I longed for it. Luckily for me, my husband had just the other day gone to pay his subscription and had graciously paid mine as well, so I was good to go.
Then I had another thought – I should ask my Husband along too, we can both enjoy the swim and that would ensure I was a passenger and not the driver; sometimes one needs a break from the damned steering wheel. So I sent him a text – Evening swim later? He replied – “nice idea, if I’m able to get off work at a decent time today“. I instinctively rolled my eyes as per, here we go again! As I always say to him, he LOVES to “form” busy! I have a very good idea of his work schedule and routine and he hardly ever gets THAT busy. Anyway, in the spirit of choosing my battles wisely, I replied – “ok no prob, you must be swamped, another time“. After clicking “send”, I resolved to go swimming on my own.
On getting home however, who was already waiting for me? Le hubby! The second I walked in, he was already screaming from upstairs, “I’m packed and ready to go oh, please come and get your things and let’s go“. I was pleasantly surprised, so I hurriedly ran upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time, packed my things and jumped in the passengers seat -Bliss! So off we went, got to the club, got changed and jumped in the pool. We initially started off in separate pools as my husband fancies himself to be a pro and chose to swim in the first pool because it is slightly deeper. In any case, I went to the other pool. After a few laps, he joined me and we swam together, chatted and just had a good old relaxing time in the pool. After our swim, we bumped into two of his friends and we all sat down to have a meal. Conversation was light, funny and engaging and we managed to get through it with very minimal digs at each other. After dinner, everyone went home. On getting home, though late with work the next day, we even still managed to slip in some “sexy time”. That was the good day!
When my alarm went off the next morning, I woke up needing more sleep and therefore cranky, only to discover that my husband had used up all the hot water (and this is something he does fairly regularly). Needless to say, I was livid! It was already shaping up to be a bad day and it truly ended up being one. Right after my cold shower as I didn’t have enough time to boil water in the kettle, I don’t need to tell y’all who I called to give a piece of my very pissed off mind. I got back from work in the evening to find that he’d left his key in the lock and fallen asleep (now, this he does VERY regularly); leaving me to pound on the door for minutes until he woke up.
It was indeed a very bad day. Now, what I found interesting, was how somewhere in the middle of the “bad” day I was having, I was able to accommodate thoughts of the good day we had just the day before. These thoughts were able to put a smile on my face, even if for just a second; long enough for me to remember my cold shower and start frowning again. It instantly reminded me of something I always tell my husband – “so far we are still able to smile about something, we are good. Once there is nothing to smile about, then our marriage is in trouble“.
Dear readers, whether you are married, dating or seeing someone, being toasted or simply loving someone out there, who is doing your head in; sometimes taking you for granted or just frustrating you, try to think of those “good” days you’ve had with the person and allow it put a smile on your face.
Now, I’m not talking about someone who is beating you or trying to cut short your life span, or someone who you obviously know is just taking advantage of you, no. I’m talking about normal relationships that may take a bashing once in a while. When he is being selfish, insensitive, ganging up with his mother or being a big-headed chauvinist; when he hurts you, forgets your birthday or does not try hard enough with your family, try, as hard as it may be sometimes, to remember those better days. The thought may just soften the blow. I sincerely hope this helps in this journey of togetherness we choose to embark on with our other halves.
Like my friend says – ‘couple matter, e no easy’.
Photo Credit: standardmedia.co.ke
Mya Williams is a fiercely passionate and fun loving rebel/ nonconformist. She loves to write in her free time. She emphatically believes that certain societal customs and norms must be challenged if one is to have a fulfilled and happy life.