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Ariyike Writes: Man 101

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You may be as beautiful as Cinderella; as dark as Lupita; fair as Rita Dominic; sexy as Omotola; cool as ; Genevieve; funny as Jenifa; nice as Chioma Chukwuka; curvy as Pearl of Soundcity busty as Cossy; blonde as Paris Hilton; creative as Chimamanda Adichie; leggy as Oluchi; smart as Marrissa Mayer; rich as Folorunsho Alakija; fashion forward as Nkiru Anumudu; loved as Oprah or as rich as awon dem rich Kids (Dangotes, Adenuga, Otedolas et al), when it comes to this general course called MAN 101, we are all in it together and guess what? The hustle is real!

After I got off stage co-hosting the Lagos New year countdown concert, a 29 year old lady came to ask me a question I would never forget. She’s a huge fan of Bellanaija and she asked me the one question I wasn’t expecting, “How does one keep a man?” I was still trying to catch my breath from all the talking and dancing I did on stage so I looked at her and smiled then said “That’s the one thing I’m still trying to figure out, I certainly cannot teach you how to keep your man but I know the two Ps and one big O are very important – Prayers, Patience and OTHERS“. She said she never thought about it like that, we gisted, laughed, she thanked me and she was good to go.

While still pondering on how to jump start this MAN 101 topic”, I stumbled upon the Keri Hilson break up story and I immediately remembered how she posted a picture on Instagram of her making fufu a few months ago. When it comes to the game of love and the course called a MAN 101, you have to leave your successful/ over intelligent/ celebrity status at the gate of his apartment because even the security man is “an oga” (a boss).

Hmmmm! I have friends who are constantly buying things for their boyfriend’s driver and security men just to be in their good books. Some even used to wash clothes, pound yam and wash ponmo for their boyfriends mothers when we were in university. Sadly, those guys didn’t marry them. You can polish his shoes everyday and he’ll still end up with a woman who will make him polish her own shoes plus his own everyday. Babes are trying sha. We can do the most gangsterish things just to keep that bobo. What’s the most gangsterish stuff you’ve done just to keep him?

It’s okay if your everyday mode of transportation is via okada (commercial motorcycles) and you use same to go and visit your man. However, if you have to park your BMW X6 on the road to hop on an Okada just to get to his house ASAP because you heard his ex “turned up” then that’s gangsterish!

As a woman, you’ll give your all to a man – put your best into the relationship; pray for him and with him; spend your last savings on him;  share his problems with him; drink Panadol for his own headache; you even go online just to learn a few tricks to use in bed; wash his boxers;  take care of his kids from a previous relationship; wear matching underwear for him; cook for him, his friends and his entire family;  somersault in bed, do the 360 on him, try out all the sex styles in the world; wait up all night when he’s out with the boys; if he tells you he doesn’t want you to fix nails or weave on, you’ll stop;  if he says “no more skimpy dresses”, all your short dresses are going out of the window; some of you even call your boyfriend’s 10 year old nephew “Uncle” because you think that’s how you’ll become “Mrs”. Sometimes you have to give up your dreams because he doesn’t like your career choice, other times, you’ll even spend the whole night reading different sex books (instead of praying) so that you can be the best shag.

Truth be told, it’s not only women that feel this way. Some men also feel they have done everything in the books just to try and keep the woman they love but it never works out. I remember last year when I interviewed American R and B artist, Carl Thomas, he said “Our fathers teach us how to get a woman but our fathers never taught us how to let a woman go. It is what it is. Sometimes, you know just so that you cannot be selfish, just so that she can be with that person that she was meant to be with, you might be holding her back“.

The craziest part of it is that there is no hard and fast rule as to how to keep a man or woman because every relationship is different from the previous one. You can decide to be extremely nice to your man and he will still ‘show you pepper’. You may decide to be nasty to another man who may end up worshipping the ground you walk on.

Different people come up with all sorts of advice that have worked for them forgetting that we are all different and our relationships can never be the same. I usually say that it’s best to study who you’re with and then you can come up with your own winning formula and operate your relationship according to what works for the two of you. Most importantly, pick your battles. Not everything is worth fighting over.

At this juncture, let’s share relationship stories and the things you do that always makes him/her come back for more because nowadays, this course called MAN 101 is looking like one that people are seriously carrying over. It would also be nice if the men could tell us ladies what we need to do to keep them. Ladies, tell the men what they need to do to keep you. I’ll leave you with a message I read on @therealtamar’s Instagram page “Dear ladies: You should never need to prove to other women that he’s in love with you. That’s his job“.

BellaNaija nation Happy New Year! Please feel free to fire on.

____________________________________________________________________________
Ariyike Akinbobola is a lawyer turned award winning media personality. She is married with children. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @LadyAriyike.

Ariyike Akinbobola, popularly referred to as Lady Ariyike, is a foreign trained lawyer and senior immigration analyst. She is an award winning TV host, author, MC, content creator, and humanitarian. She also coaches immigrant families relocating abroad on expectations and how to navigate their new reality. 

 Ariyike is the founder of Ariland Entertainment where she showcases the African culture, fashion, lifestyle and Immigrant experiences through storytelling and film. She previously worked as a talk show host and TV producer for over 7 years abroad and gained experience in TV presenting, production, editing, writing TV treatments and scripts for TV and acting.  Ariyike has a certificate in Child Protection: Children’s Rights in Theory and Practice from Harvard X. A Diploma in TV Presenting from the prestigious London Academy of Media, Film and TV. 

She was recognized as one of the 100 most inspiring women in Nigeria in 2019. She has won several awards such as WAW Award, London. UNICEF/UNFPA Frown Award - Female Genital Mutilation Abandonment Advocate of the year, La Mode Humanitarian of the year, Mademoiselle Role Model Award, The Women’s Federation for World Peace - Ambassador for Peace Award amongst others. 

 Ariyike, through her Ariyike Arise Initiative, has helped to fund the education of Children in disadvantaged communities. Through their schools outreach, they counsel, coach and enlighten children and teenagers about the importance of Peace, Education, Empowerment and Community Development. 

She is a guest columnist on Bellanaija.com and she volunteers as a Content Creator Partner for the United Nations Refugee Agency in Canada (UNHCR). Ariyike is married with Children. Her book, The Cost of Our Lives, is available on Amazon https://www.amazon.ca/COST-OUR-LIVES-Pandemic/dp/B093R5TKCJ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ariyike+the+cost+of+our+lives&qid=1632077452&sr=8-1

70 Comments

  1. PPiP

    February 4, 2014 at 10:29 am

    This article makes so much sense men!! no hard or fast rule to keeping a man!. i used to think i knew how to keep a man, but i just recently realised i dont know SHIT!!.. and it hurts like hell. After going tru the good, bad and ugly. I think is finally find this great (NICE) guy and 3 months later, one quarrel and d dude cuts me off.. damn! even Mr> Nice guy too. Abeg i cant even cry jor. am so hurt but then again i have to learn to pick my battles. Not to blow my own trumphet but God blessed me with beauty and brains sha ( you see me and imagine, she should have it easy) but damn this shit (relationship) is hard.

    • Yetunde Taiwo

      February 4, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Yes relationship is very hard,it is only God that help one to succeed

  2. annon

    February 4, 2014 at 10:39 am

    REALLY?!! I mean SERIOUSLY!Are we still on this topic in 2014???

    • Ib

      February 6, 2014 at 2:55 am

      Annon pls help me ask them.There are really more important things in life than men you know? Like crashing that glass celing, being souled out to Christ,like lydia, fighting against child SLAVERY…
      Pls no more man talk in 2014. lets serve God more and all the rest would follow

    • oneibogirl

      February 6, 2014 at 11:51 am

      @ib if you don’t want to read about keeping a man and focus on the more important things going on in the world, you can go to the career and inspired! sections on bellanaija. Dont click on the relationship page and expect to be reading about Syria. Schewww!!! GTFOH

  3. Changing Faces

    February 4, 2014 at 10:41 am

    iLike… it’s funny when someone has a successful relationship and thinks it makes him/her an expert. it’s not a one size fits all. I do believe however that there are certain qualities needed for successful relationships; be it romantic or not. for eg: fairness, empathy, kindness…let’s just treat others the way we want to be treated.

  4. Diamond

    February 4, 2014 at 10:44 am

    I’m coming back to read the comments, I bet there’ll be some hilarious experiences but that last quote from @therealtamar’s IG page jst summarized the whole write up for me. Dnt kill urself for anybody, man or woman, they’ll simply move on

  5. Dr. N

    February 4, 2014 at 10:52 am

    He should be trying to keep me! drnsmusings.wordpress.com

    • stacie

      February 4, 2014 at 9:39 pm

      Liz is that you?

  6. stefini

    February 4, 2014 at 10:52 am

    i just want to inscribe this article in my brain cos it makes so much sense,its everything that has been in my head regrading men and relationships which i have been unable to properly just let out word for word,omg!!!!BN na wah o,una don dey do winch ????lols n more lols,just kidding………….anyways i read the first paragraph and blv me i laffed so hard at work and i wrote it on my Personal message on my phone,MAN 101 indeed ,mehn like u said,THE HUSTLE IS REAL ,taping out*winks*

  7. Bella

    February 4, 2014 at 10:54 am

    points taken from this and well noted are 1. “Most importantly, pick your battles. Not everything is worth fighting over” and 2. ““Dear ladies: You should never need to prove to other women that he’s in love with you. That’s his job“. ENOUGH SAID

    • Teni

      February 5, 2014 at 6:18 pm

      WORD!!!

  8. tammy

    February 4, 2014 at 10:59 am

    I have no intention of keeping any stupid man, I’ve been to hell and back in the name of dating and I’m officially done! If push comes shove, i will adopt a baby. Marriage is not on the cards right now, okunrin buru!

    • that crazy chick

      February 4, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      my thoughts exactly.

    • I no send

      February 5, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      Every woman at some point in her life goes through that phase but guess what? It’s a phase! Be open to love and soon enough it will find you. Now, does that mean you’ll live happily ever after? Of course not! No one ever does but you will enjoy the bumpy ride because love conquers all.

  9. tammy

    February 4, 2014 at 10:59 am

    To

  10. nne

    February 4, 2014 at 11:07 am

    well. to each his own. wish all single women like me and married ones still finding it hard to keep a man success. for me, a man dat wants to be kept will be kept. it doesnt take anything. he wld create his own excitement etc

  11. DAMMY

    February 4, 2014 at 11:13 am

    @annon YES like seriously we are still on it….. keeping relationship is so hard menh! well me ave decided to be single till the right guy shows up because am just tired of trying jare….

  12. Dee Pee

    February 4, 2014 at 11:49 am

    ‘You should never need to prove to other women that he’s in love with you. That’s his job“——- WORD OF LIFE!!!!

    .

  13. peyton

    February 4, 2014 at 11:56 am

    The question is why do we need to keep a man? Who ever said men need to be kept? We seem to think the solution lies in the woman sorry I don’t agree a man decides whether he wants to stay or go cheat or keep his zipper up it is a choice. Whether you are a sex expert you know all the moves or you can cook like martha stewart or is sexy like kim kardashian, a man wanna roll he will roll. I don’t change who iam to suit anyone if you don’t like me please move on to what you want.I have in the past tried all that guess what it dosent work so I have learnt.as a matter of fact a man should learn how to keep me.cause iam special damned if I kill myself trying to please someone

  14. RM

    February 4, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    There is no formula or rule on how to keep a man, NONE!!!!!!!!if you like have 10 vagina’s, or be the daughter of bill gates and dangote combined,be preetier than halle berry or the queen of jordan…if a man dont want your ass a man dont want your ass..SIMPLE!! i have a friend (a guy) married to the most gorgeous woman i have ever seen, from a very rich home,very nice lady….. but he has a steady girlfriend who cant speak english.even he cant explain why he cheats,whenever i ask him what he lacks in his marriage he just says..”honestly i dont know why i do what i do”…wo!! this matter is beyond us..me i have learnt to do within my power,you either accept me or leave me the hell alone..i’m done trying to impress men.. or anyone for that matter.

  15. dami

    February 4, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    @Dammy , it’s not easy. I ve just decided to give myself a break and let him go. If he ain’t staying no need wanting to keep him

  16. @realtarmar

    February 4, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    Nne u have said well .
    Personally you don’t have to sweat to be married , do ur best nd leave the rest . From my past relationship I have learnt not to please any man nd make myself unhappy . Boy call me spoilt , lazy or whatever . I ain’t gonna cook for u or ur friends, neither am I gonna be washing dishes . If I lay on ur bed I’d fix it when am up . Nd make sure I tidy d room just because I slept in it .
    I have just come to realise that what ever will be would be. The daughters of the above names don’t even knw d way to the kitchen , but they get in a serious relationship nd it turns to marriage . I’m out of here xx
    Great write up ariyike❤️❤️

    • nne

      February 4, 2014 at 2:42 pm

      ur head is there girl. its never that serious…

    • tonitaj

      February 6, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      Amen to that.

  17. Vanessa

    February 4, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    I cook, clean and take care of any guy I am dating. I even give you money, if u run a lil’ broke. I do all that out of the goodness of my heart not because I want to answer MRS. I wont run stupid errands just to look good before your family members. I am not a condemned goods. As per gangsterish approach to keeping a man, I have not really done any. I always insist on communication. A man who is free with you will last longer with you. At the end of the day, sex wont keep a man. The fear of the Lord(from him) and a good heart(his) is what makes a man stay.

    • tobi

      February 5, 2014 at 10:29 pm

      Even that is not guaranteed if a man is not for you, he is not for you! I concur to what you said relier be yourself. Be good because you are good not because you want to keep a man. It is very exhausting to do all sorts and then loose your man. It will make you a worse off and a bitter person. I think for me I learn how to love people generally everyday and work in God’s love , so after washing his boxers, sweeping his house, cooking for him, praying for him if he decides to leave that’s his choice and it will no way stop me from being good to the next person and the end of the day you want to be a better woman, so irregardless of how he decides to treat me my kinds is not dependent on a marriage proposal neither is it dependent on me keeping a man. If you are truly a kindhearted person doing things for him and others should come naturally. In fact as for me after doing all if he ends up leaving me , I will take my kindness to another level there is joy in showing kindness. I think most women need to review their character your character is who you are behind closed doors what do you do , how do you treat people who have no impact on your life? That is why Proverbs 31 states clearly that charm can mislead people. Irrespective of how a man treats you find strength in your character, your character can only be built perfectly by walking in God’s love in summary fear God and show love to all mankind

  18. lorenz

    February 4, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    The truth is, no woman knows how to keep a man. Its simple; its either he wants to stay with you, or he doesn’t want to. No matter what you do sometimes; he’ll leave if he really wants to. prayer, patience, and OTHERS pays as well. But the patience part is quite tricky; being too patient may be interpreted by some men as a sign of weakness. I say this, because I know this. Being extremely careful before you start a relationship doesn’t guarantee that he will stay. Sometimes, hope and love are the only weapons you have. If you like give him monkey style, that won’t make him stay, if he really doesn’t want to. My advice is be yourself, because anyone you have to try to hard with, cannot possibly be the one. What about when you’re tired of trying?

  19. Jane Public

    February 4, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    The problem lies in the sentence itself. Whether man or woman. You don’t try to keep anybody. They are not property or an investment portfolio or a job for that matter. Heck, you shouldn’t even try to keep your children. Whether age 1 or age 25. This hold we think we have on people is a very warped mentlaity that only leads to unecessary heartache. Just because he is still with you doesn’t mean you are successful at keeping him and vice versa. Heck loads of married men are still with their wives and are straying. Is that man half kept, or 1/4 kept or not kept at all. Or the one that hasn’t strayed yet but is miserable as sin. Is he 100% kept. Confused.com

    • Newbie

      February 9, 2014 at 8:48 pm

      You echoed my thoughts, Jane Public. If a man cheats and ‘faithfully’ returns to his wife every night, would she say she has successfully ‘kept’ her man? No one needs to be kept, they’re not pet parrots!

  20. Moimoi

    February 4, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    I agree there’s no special way in keeping a man. What I don’t is, why do men turn blind eyes to women who wishes them the very best, women who want to be like the proverb 31 woman, women who have so much love to give… I’ve decided to give my bf space jare can’t kill myself. At the end of the day, what will be will be. Can’t coms n die jare.

    • Garri

      February 6, 2014 at 4:12 am

      No special way oh Moimoi. My own bf sef don free me. After 6years, he is confused on why people get married. Imagine that kain talk, he is indirectly telling me he aint doing again. …Oh well….what will be will be oh jare.

  21. Lamie

    February 4, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    Love this! There is indeed no hard and fast rule to keeping a man. I’ve learned the hard way as well and now, it’s “all man for himself”, no more mumu love abeg.

  22. Lani

    February 4, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    BN, do you know it is hard to keep a woman? Check most successful marriages the woman is constantly kept happy by her man. Everything just works when a woman is happy in her relationship. There’s another formula to a successful relationship. To thine own self be true. Unless of course you are a certified bitch. Just be yourself and let him struggle to keep you. All this man matter sef is getting too plenty. Kilode? Why beat yourself wondering how to keep a man. Like you are not worth being kept yourself. DON’T TRY TO KEEP A MAN!! He should be trying to keep you. No wonder there are many of them walking around with a false sense of entitlement. Leaving all the hard work to women. Be true to yourself jare.

  23. Lizzy

    February 4, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    pick your battles, not everything is worth fighting over…..

  24. Simsi

    February 4, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    I don’t know nything about keeping a man. I tried it all. I started with dating fine boys, wen dat one didn’t work out. Decided to try an ugly guy. Twas d same story. I decided to take a break from d whole dating thing. Then this guy that’s been my friend for a long time decided to ask me out. This someone I’ve liked for so long. The relationship has been going well. I just think d basic thing is for u guys to be friends first before. becoming lovers. I think this helps a lot.

    • PPiP

      February 4, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      My dear u wouldnt have said it better! i tried suave looking brothers it didnt work, i thot ehn ok lets try the pant trouser wearing christian virgin brother (non-sexual relationship) that even sucked at kissing(hiss!). shebi dey said love is a decision. I decided to love what was infront of me and damn! ( e dey pain me). Infact i dont know shit about relationships! i think i need d break to focus on what i want. ( Rantings of a the hot fine girl dumped by the nerdy nice guy)

  25. gangster

    February 4, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    I met this guy and out of love i did a lot of things for him washed, cooked and gave him money he was working but he was always broke. (Abuja bigz boiz tins). not cos i wanted to be Mrs, just cos i tot i loved him untill the demand for money just dey increase and the guy never give me 1 kobo. After 1 yr , i just decide say i no dey do again joor and the mumu goes abt telling his friends i broke up with her cos she likes money (i dont owe the maga pencil oh, even 400 recharge card mba:< na me buy gift dash am money, and i even lend am moni oh and i like money na wa oh. My advice to ladies is just pray and shine ur eyes well. a lot of these guys no be am at all.

  26. Grown Woman

    February 4, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    Wow so Keri broke with her man even after learning how to cook fufu for him??#lawdhavemercy#There’s no formula in keeping a man as Kimora Lee simmons once said “men come and go but children are there to stay” so one should never be with a man just for the sake of it,i believe when one leaves, another one will arrive lol .Overall some men these days are made from China why lie as in their love is so fake.Ladies pray to God to find amn who will love and adore you and vice versa no need to stress.

  27. Shona

    February 4, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    This article is spot on!…Quick advice to the ladies:don’t displease your self while trying to please a man.All this cooking for him and his friends,buying gifts,spending weekends at his mum’s place,going to buy efo and all for her,buying his sisters big big gifts wey you sef never use screams desperate.Yes!!The key thing is this..be yourself when you are in a relationship.Act like you are with your family members,no forming and all.Enough [email protected]’t give up.Its a race,run and don’t fall outta track.The Lord is your strenght.

  28. anonymous

    February 4, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    My first year in the University, I was a complete tomboy yet men ran around to be with me. I kept hearing I was domineering so when I got into another relationship, I tried to be humble unfortunately, the guy was abusive and I ended the relationship after 6 painful months. I was sworn off men for a while then I moved on and dated someone who broke my heart and the cycle continued. Last year, I met someone and I didn’t do anything. Really, it has been effortless. I remember him saying to me ‘I’m here because I want to be here’ and this is the only reason people should date. No games, drama, scheming or scamming. Do you cos you are the best there is

    • Dr. N

      February 5, 2014 at 1:18 pm

      Gbam! I was d flat chested tomboy too. Cook ke? Clean ke? Too acada! Lol. Happily married. I didn’t meet d big boyz cos I wasn’t hot but I got a great guy.

  29. KEMI

    February 4, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    Truth is there is no hard or fast rule when it comes to relationship and absolutely bullshit if you think you or anyone can keep a man, i learnt this the harrrrrrrrdd way and believe me, it was a lesson worth learning, i just wished i had learnt it earlier, before i dated all sorta, somersaulted in bed for them, starved my self just to make he eats well,made amala, that i hated to eat, i even took cab all the way to a fast food to buy one of them porridge with assorted delicacies , only for him to share with his friends and i never got a taste out of it, despite using my money to get the said food. i dated the fine blokes,1 scary christian dude who wanna meet my family same day he met me and the calm guys…………………they all left,,,you could have seen me, this is a babe who has it all to the Glory of God, beauty, brain and yet>>>long story short, i read Steve’s Harvey book” Think like a man, act like a man” and knocked my head on a wall several times, in realizing the truth. i then read, ” He is just not that into you” and ” He is not that complicated” by Eric Charles. Guess what? after all that reading, i got married to a guy dated for 7 months, and i Thank God daily…………..Phew!!!!!

  30. beautifulonyinye

    February 4, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    I guess I’ve beenn quite lucky.I’ve never made aneffort to keep anyone.By God’s grace,I’m beautiful,hot and intelligent.I did all d breaking Up cos I Didn’t see what I Wanted.5 days after I met my fiance ,he said he’d marry me.We’re getting married next month after being together for a year .A guy. Who really loves u won’t stressu out.

    • Nicole

      February 14, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      babe watch out for part two na ur type dem dey wicked for marriage. you never start e better say may u know ur nigga before u marry am. really no disrespect but you are simply implying other girls who are unlucky less unique. my dear dont dont clap until the end of the tune because not all songs that start well end well. just pray and watch and most of all BE STRONG because a man can flip faster than a burger ? be ready for surprises again no harm intended and let me be the first to wish you HML.

  31. Mama Mia!!!

    February 4, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    I’m sorry o but I will never give a man I’m dating money, go to his house to cook for him, go visit his parents for days in the name of being a girlfriend not fiance or wife. olomaje! for what now? I have my home, if I have food at home and you are there with me fine… but, never will I go out of my way for a man I aint married to. My parents got married after my dad watched her for months they didn’t converse or nothing like that o, he just knew, he asked around and went straight to my grandparents to ask her hand in marriage after plenty shakara she agreed and the rest as they say is history. she didn’t even bother doing all I wrote above. Infact, he spoilt her silly with gifts cause he traveled alot then. I keep referring to our generation because we’ve changed the dynamic of things, I do not know much, but based on my relationships and friendships with men, most of them always want what they can have. Never, go out of your way for a man, it aint worth it, when you marry, ehen, then you can show all the ”love” you’ve always suppressed inside. and please, I wanna ask a question man/woman is it right to be exclusive with a man/woman that ain’t your husband or fiance? I mean, I think the purpose of dating is so you know whom you are most compatible with, not sexually o. do not approve sleeping around. I mean talk to as many men/women as possible because from what I see, this putting all your eggs in one basket aint working for a whole Lotta people it’s diff if you are working towards marriage but if not, wasting five years on one person that him head no dey dia aint worth it!!!

  32. Ngozi

    February 4, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Naija men cant be kept without jazz these days jor!

    • Chummy

      February 4, 2014 at 8:37 pm

      Jazz ke? Hmmm… Girls werenu ya nwayoo(take am sofri)

    • I no send

      February 5, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      LOL men are in trouble 🙂

    • slice

      February 5, 2014 at 10:31 pm

      thank you. that was too funny. and no i don’t agree but wow you really made me laugh

    • tobi

      February 5, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Thats another side to it! Gals be careful thats why prayer is necessary some random girls trying to cage your man with jazz , pray and work in God’s love . No body jazz or no jazz can steal my man if He belongs to me. I’m a praying woman! lol

    • Ada Nnewi

      February 7, 2014 at 4:05 pm

      ROTFLMAO!!!

  33. mata

    February 4, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    ‘What’s the most gangsterish stuff you’ve done just to keep him?’….so far no one has shared any….lol. we get that you can’t keep a man/woman but can you guys start with the hilarious stories already?lol…i”m dying to hear them

  34. Mimi

    February 4, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    At this point, I am not concerned with how he sees me. I want to be treated exactly the way I would treat him, respected and not compared to all the girls in the world. No one should prove themselves in a relationship. Your partner should and must love you for who you are. One great advice I ever got from my ex was “if you ever have to go out of your way to impress a man, then he is not the one for you”. I guess he was right, he was not the one for me.

  35. NNENNE

    February 4, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    Just be yourself. If he’s yours, he will stay. Always re-invent yourself. Don’t give him the impression that life is worthless without him.

  36. Beverly

    February 5, 2014 at 12:33 am

    A guy who loves you will stick it out solely because of that. If he doesn’t care about you it won’t take long for him to go away. Personally I’m a hard ass when it comes to certain things and my boyfriend lets me know when he’s displeased with me. At the end of the day he still let’s me know that he loves me and no matter how mad he might get at me, that will not change.

  37. Lady

    February 5, 2014 at 6:00 am

    Dear ladies: You should never need to prove to other women that he’s in love with you. That’s his job I love that line

  38. Ariyike

    February 5, 2014 at 7:38 am

    Morning beautiful people, thanks for your comments. @Ngozi, jazz ke? Plea don’t! Whatever phase you are passing through in life, just know that someone somewhere has been through worse.

  39. cute larai

    February 5, 2014 at 7:59 am

    God has the final say and sincerely,what will be will be whether u try hard or not. I stopped bothering myself after my first failed 2-year relationship as I learnt 2 take men the way they are -use their own weapons on them. Guess what? Men seldom adore the nice girls who go all out to please them. They prefer the naughty ones who give them reasons to doubt their position with her. U know the kind of lady that leaves their status unsure per time. Just make sure u aren’t hoping from bed to bed&master the art of being a coquette. Whoever you finally decide to be with will consider you a trophy worth keeping for life. One more thing, don’t be anticipatory in your Roles i.e. Dont play the role of a gf till u’re one; fiancee till he’s proposed or after Introduction; nor wife till you’re FORMALLY married. U’d have a lifetime with ur in-laws, if u start all the gift-showering/visiting/sleeping over b4 marriage (which may or may not hold), what is left to be done in marriage? Be confident and make it clear u aren’t out to impress neither are u desperate. I might sound tough but that’s just me. To the glory of God, we had our intro&preparing for our wedding coming up soon.

  40. lilcyrus

    February 5, 2014 at 10:29 am

    There is no need in trying to keep a man who has made up his mind to leave.

  41. chicky

    February 5, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    Dear Ladies Stop killing yourself looking for Mr Right cus you may never find him,get hold of Mr Left and drag him to the Right………

    • lorenz

      February 5, 2014 at 7:24 pm

      I so love your comment.

    • Newbie

      February 9, 2014 at 9:14 pm

      ROTFL!

  42. Donthavetimeforrubbish.

    February 8, 2014 at 1:32 am

    getting a man and keeping him is turning into a real hustle for the babes O!..I never knew it was this serious

  43. Daisy

    February 11, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Focus on God’s word, read the bible and know your worth and how wonderfully and fearfully made you are, but instead you put some bad boy above you, when it is written that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom the bible even defines what love is. Ladies if indeed you want a real man, read your bible, when you realize that you put a man above you or your priorities , that’s when the devil start dancing azonto on your feelings, to wind you up and make youthink that you weren’t worth it or to act like the biggest mumu in town, ignore that voice, insert your brains back and say a little pray… May the lord direct our footsteps and may every girl reading this be wise enough to know that when it feels right, he will come with peace and not make u act a fool by trying your hardest.

  44. tobeee

    February 12, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    Emi laayemi,abeg dere’s no gragraaa fr ds thin cald marriage.I’m of d opinion dat,if a gud guy comes to me fr a rtnsship nd thins dint eventually work out nd I was sure I was altogether a good person,what wud make some1 better not come fr me? Plss ladies,we shd always hope fr d best jooo,ds idea of wantin to keep a man just bcos we blive in d assertion that ‘men re scarce’…..kilo je bee? As a mata of fact,good nd faithful men plenty fr outside.our prayers shd just. Be dat dey shd cross our ways in good time.aint keeping any1, I shd be kept.

    • MISS INDEPENDENT

      March 28, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      GBAYI….. you don talk am.

  45. Ulo Arinze

    April 11, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Man! Ure a wonder woman.i luv dis article,we women should stop livin our lives just to make a man happy. Yes make ur man happy nd make urself happy too. I luvu wonder woman nd will like to meet u in person.

  46. VivaDrew

    May 12, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    Like seriously, we keep discussing about MEN, don’t the MEN folk ever discuss about US? More we take on their issues , more they leverage on it and take advantage of us. Please we’ll all get married someday to that ONE PERSON who truly deserve US so let’s keep em’ MEN palaver at hands bay joo…. *Seriously thinking how to make more money, climb up the ladder in my career and be happy always*

  47. VivaDrew

    May 12, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    NB: Nice article, mind exposing and great, but i’d like to know if there is a WOMAN 101 as a course? Men sure do need to study, understand and know the phenomenon called WOMAN. I’m proud to be one..*winks

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