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Friendship, Intimacy & Arguments! Joke Silva & Olu Jacobs Share the Sweet Scoop on 28 Years of Marriage

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In 2011, when BN brought you the exclusive photos from Joke Silva‘s 50th birthday party and vow renewal to Olu Jacobs, you all were in awe. If you missed it, click here

The couple who met in 1981 at a rehearsal and wed in 1985, have shown that love can truly last a lifetime.

The veteran Nollywood superstars had a sweet and quite emotional interview with Vanguard on their marriage, how they met and still keep the fire burning.

To read the full interview, click here.
Read Excerpts below;
Joke Silva

On meeting Olu: “People had been talking about him before I arrived the country because he was based in the UK at that time. Everybody was talking about him, especially Miss Ene, the then Artistic Director of the National Theatre and Dr. Ashiwaju.

They had met in England and I guess he would have been the Chiwetel Ejiofor of that time. Just as what Chiwetel is to this present generation, so he was then.

He was one of the top African actors in England at that time, whether on stage or on screen. He was the talk of the town. So, I was looking forward to meeting him; when I finally saw him, he was quite a handsome man. Our first meeting, if I could remember vividly, I went to call Miss Ene to come and watch our rehearsal.

They were in a production meeting, and, when I entered the office, the first thing he uttered was, “This is the woman I am going to marry.”

When I left the office, I said to myself, `How can anybody say it just like that?’ He always insisted that I eyed him every now and then. We started out as very good friends. Four years later we got married. We met in 1981 and married in 1985.”

On keeping the marriage going: “Friendship. We are each other’s very close friend. It’s not as if we don’t have close friends outside our marriage, but I think we are both each other’s number one close friend. The other thing is mutual respect, the fact that we both share the same passion about the area of entertainment that we are in.

Of course, the various challenges that we’ve faced over the years , we’ve learnt how to surmount them together. At different times when it is necessary, we have both learnt to forgive each other. I guess the sum total of what I’m saying is that God’s grace has been present in our marriage.”

Joke on what she doesn’t like about Olu: “Of course, we get mad at each other ten times a day.( Laughs). Earlier in our marriage, when we used to snap at each other, it led to sulking on both sides for hours.But now, there is nothing like that any more. We can get mad at each other and the next two minutes we are laughing and talking to each other. If we quarrel and it lasts for a couple of hours, it’s because we want to drive a point home.

There is a beautiful way an actress put it. She said, and I quote, “Within the marriage, there are lots of weddings and divorces, but what is important is that the weddings should be more than the divorces and then you have a successful marriage.”

Joke Silva 50th and Vow Renewal Olu Jacobs - October 2011 - BellaNaija 077

On marriage break-ups: “I wouldn’t dare say that I can talk about that, I can’t; because I know that what I have is God’s grace. It would be arrogant to say this is what caused the break up of this person’s marriage. I’m not walking in their shoes. All I can say is that there are things that happen that can break up marriages, but if you can pray for strength to weather those storms and usually when these storms are happening, it’s because there is something good, there is a contention. Marriage is an institution created by God.

As a Christian, I look at it from the Christian perspective. It is a symbol of God’s union with his Church. Marriage is always on the attack; if you remember, even in the Garden of Eden when Eve was found on her own, she was attacked and, when she succumbed, it was easy for Adam to fall. If you can ask for the grace to weather the storm, there’s always something beautiful at the end.

If you’re being physically or mentally abused in a marriage, to be honest, for me, I’d go for separation. Then, we go for counselling and see if the union can continue. With a lot of prayers, it usually does come together. But for me to say this is why marriages break up, I can’t.”

On Intimacy: “I don’t think it’s possible for you to have marriage without intimacy, because if there’s no intimacy, why bother with marriage? Most people think intimacy means just sex, there’s more to it than that. There’s a meeting of minds, there’s that bonding. Sometime ago, I used to tell him (my husband) that ‘one of the reasons why I find that I can’t leave you is that the next morning, I’m likely to call to find out how you are’.

There is just this closeness. I really don’t think marriage is possible without intimacy. I think it is very important that there is trust in marriage. Trust can be broken, but it can be healed. Some people believe in polygamy, I don’t. I don’t believe in sharing. It has to do with what works for you as a couple.”

Joke Silva 50th and Vow Renewal Olu Jacobs - October 2011 - BellaNaija 071

Olu Jacobs
Love at first sight: “Yes, it was the case of love at first sight. Our story runs like a novel. We were doing a production meeting for Jero’s Metamorphosis at National Theatre, Iganmu. I was playing Brother Jero and, at the same time, co-directing the play. Suddenly, the door opened and the lady came in, I looked at her and said, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the woman I am going to marry’. She just looked at me up and down and left.

Four years later, we got married. That was how sure I was when I saw her and I have never been that kind of sure in my life. I’m not an extrovert when it comes to that. I keep my relationship quiet. But that was how I saw it at the moment when I saw her.”

On what he doesn’t like about Joke: “She used to keep things in mind, I never realised this on time. When you think everything has been forgotten, all of a sudden she reminds you of it. At first, I used to be very upset, and then I realised that I used to be like that. Memory is good, but at the same time, we must make sure that we use it for good. Instead of looking for something bad that she has done, use that same time to look for something good that she has done, then you’ll find that she has not done anything bad, when you compare both. But we exaggerate what we consider bad.

The challenges are challenges and they must come in life. It is very easy to talk about the bad things but the good things are the ones that inspire. The bad things should be remembered in order to warn you to change for the better. Use them for change. My wife is very generous, very kind and caring. If you’re having a problem, she’ll listen and take it up as her own. If you need something and she has it, she’ll give it to you.

I’m very happy with her and she’s my best friend. When you have a friend at home, you want to go home. Wherever you are, you want to finish whatever you are doing and go home. The home is attractive to you and that’s the kind of person she is. Sometimes, when we are working separately, we try to always be on phone with each other two to three times a day. If it is possible on our way to branch and say ‘hi’, have a cup of tea together which we do sometimes and spend the night. Then the next day, she’s off to her station and I’m off to mine. We keep in touch.”

Advice for young couples: “First of all, young people must try as much as possible to avoid too many so-called good friends who always have advice for you. Try and be careful with them. You may listen to them, but weigh whatever they give you. Not all your so-called good friends wish you well.

Quite a lot of them want to take over your position. Pray for contentment.

Pray to meet, have and keep your friend. You need the wisdom to see and recognise a friend. Always think for two ( you and your wife). You and your wife first, others can come in later. Even your parents will tell you, This is your wife, take care of her.”

28 Comments

  1. pp

    February 4, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    HAPPY MARRIED LIFE TO YOU

  2. Yinka

    February 4, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    I love and adore these two people

  3. Sexxie

    February 4, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Super couple! I wish them more bliss.

  4. Vanessa

    February 4, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    Everybody loves Olu and Joke. Talented and Scandal-free couple.

    • Jane Public

      February 4, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      Errrrrrrr, he has a love child. You have to commend them staying together after that though. Not sure if I can.

    • slice

      February 4, 2014 at 3:05 pm

      I didn’t know that.

  5. Grace E

    February 4, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    I LOVE them both!!! wisdom!!
    “Advice for young couples: “First of all, young people must try as much as possible to avoid too many so-called good friends who always have advice for you. Try and be careful with them. You may listen to them, but weigh whatever they give you. Not all your so-called good friends wish you well.” how true these words are!!! I LOVE their love…

  6. PDPA crew

    February 4, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    Marriages do really come with challenges… Thanks alot aunty Joke for that words of wisdom. May God continue to bless your union, 28yrs aint beans!

    • sigh

      February 4, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      28 yrs in Nigeria is very common, esp in their generation HOWEVER, congrats to them. i personally don’t believe in admiring other pp.’s relationships TOO MUCH. Just focus on ur own is my belief.

  7. peyton

    February 4, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    I once read her interview in genevive mag.it was honest down to earth and real.no pretence. Anyone can read it. I admire her because she is one woman who dosent throw it in ur face I have been married for 2sumtin years rather she politely tells you what works. Not forcing her opinions. GOD bless you auntie and uncle joke and olu jacobs.and GOD who has kept you will keep your marriage even still

  8. Grown Woman

    February 4, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Wow this is wonderful and may God continue blessing your marriage….marriages are beautiful if you find the right partner but the amount of desperation for some of the ladies out there is one of the reasons why people end up in wrong marriages , its truly sad.May God help all the single and patient ladies seaching for their life partners.Can i hear an AMEN lol

  9. no heart to hate

    February 4, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Wishing them More Years together

  10. kelly

    February 4, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    True talk to the couples and Congrats to u both. I must say am well pleased with them and i also pray for God to continue to help marriages most especially in this generation. Also yield to good advises that will strengthen them and be open minded.

  11. DAMMY

    February 4, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    hmmmmm great advice.

  12. Aibee

    February 4, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    I absolutely love her response to question on marriage break ups. She seems so wise and compassionate.
    I can just imagine Olu Jacobs in his deep voice with his British IJGB accent “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the woman I will marry”!

  13. Naveah

    February 4, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    MY FAVORITE COUPLE!!! I wish you both another 28 years !

  14. NNENNE

    February 4, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Love them to pieces.
    Happy anniversary.

  15. Landot

    February 4, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    @ Jane Public………Olu Jacobs has no love child!!!!! Be sure of your facts before posting.

  16. Stephanie

    February 5, 2014 at 5:53 am

    Awww…sweet couple
    blogsvila.blogspot.com

  17. I love my boo

    February 5, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    Unless she is the love child

    • Eve82

      February 5, 2014 at 10:09 pm

      BN comments are just on another level 🙂

  18. stellamaris

    February 5, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    congrtas to dem, may God keep blessin deir unioun

  19. fashionandstylepolice

    February 5, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    Congrats to them.

  20. Yetunde

    February 8, 2014 at 3:30 pm

    do they have kids tho? thats my question.

  21. ike angel

    June 30, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    They inspire me, wish I can talk with her. Pls some1,any1,every1: help!

  22. Oluchi

    July 14, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    This is ur wife,take good care of her….Wow! Ur union is indeed a blessing to our generation. Better yrs together ahead,keep waxing strong.

  23. chacha

    January 25, 2016 at 10:38 am

    wait o, how come i haven’t hard anytin about their children?

  24. JD

    December 24, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    Half ass interview. In fact, that interviewer should be fired for not asking pertinent question leaving all of you scratching your heads like you know what.

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