Ours had been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. We met at university, had the same group of friends and did a lot of things together. A lot of eating out/ordering in, going to the movies, lunching in-between classes, partying, getting drunk, getting stoned, getting high on mushrooms, laughing and just having a good time (boy did we do a lot of laughing).
His smile melted my heart; the way his cheeks would plump up, the way his eyes would thin out, the way his lips would widen and eventually part – revealing cute teeth (yes cute!). It was a smile that would later steal my heart.
One day, after one of our group hangouts, he walked me back to my room, where we shared our first kiss. We soon became involved; I was into him,like a drug. At the time, there was no confusion about what we were to each other, we were not dating; we really liked each other, got along extremely well and were seriously attracted to each other but it was on the down low. It however didn’t stop our chemistry from being insane! As time went on, I wanted more. I wanted to be with him in a legit way, because I really liked this guy, and my affection for him went deep. He was, however, happy with how things were.
We finished University and continued to see each other, he would drive all the way to come see me and I would take the train up there when I wanted to see him. For seven years we continued to see each other on and off; we would fight when I felt he was being selfish and dismissive or taking me for granted or when he felt I was overreacting. I started feeling like I was walking on egg shells around him.
You see, he had started working with his Dad, and at the same time was trying to get his businesses off the ground so he was always “busy”. But he never tried to make it up to me, and there I was always doing cute things like buying him the muffins and doughnuts he liked. I’d listen to his work problems and offer solutions when asked. I was passionately into him and it showed in my every dealing with him and he knew! We eventually stopped speaking to each other when he dropped the bomb one day that he was “dating” as in proper dating some chick that was at Uni with us.
Then one night, after almost a year of not speaking, my phone bleeps – “hey wassup, I’m in town, can we see?” Against my better judgment and the voice in my head screaming noooooooooooo, I picked up my phone and replied “ok”. He picked one of the swankiest bars in town with an amazing view and we agreed to meet at 9pm. I am normally a stickler for time but I wanted to make him wait so I made sure I was late. When I walked in, looking splendid of course, I immediately saw the twinkle in his eyes when they settled on me. He too looked so damn good, good enough to eat! We settled into one of the corner booths and in a split second we were back in Uni, just being us and laughing. His smell was masculine but not overpowering; conversation was deep, funny, and clever all at the same time; he was so attentive and the chemistry was out of this world. When we linked hands, it was like a lightning bolt through my soul. If we had a scent that night, it would have been called SEXY. As we enjoyed delicious cocktail after delicious cocktail, the voice in my head was finally quiet, probably lulled into a haze of bliss just as I was. He told me of the demise of his relationship, which of course I had heard of already (due to the fact that he was always busy and work came first). So I offered the perfunctory “Sorry to hear that” but of course I was far from sorry. I could have told her how it was going to end at the beginning. After about the fifth cocktail, I was now hoping the night would never end. As if the gods heard me, he asked if I wanted to go for a house party his friend was throwing, I said yes. We jumped in a cab and told the driver where we were headed. In seconds we were making out in the back of the cab; his lips were so soft, his voice hoarse as he whispered in my ear, my body was literally on fire! Then he whispers in my ear, “I think we should go straight to my place”, I couldn’t even speak, I just nodded.
By the time we got to his place, every inch of my body tingled, he slowly undressed me with his strong but gentle hands, then he lifted me off the ground like a feather and onto the bed, where we proceeded to make sensual, passionate love; the kind that afterwards neither of you say a word, you just listen to each other’s breathing. We lay in each other’s arms for what felt like forever, whispering sweet nothings. At this point, the lull from the cocktails was wearing off and that bloody voice in my head was back, telling me how I had to get home because it was late. So he called me a cab, paid the driver and gave me a last kiss goodbye.
We held each other’s gaze as my cab pulled off; I put my finger to my lips where he’d just kissed me, relishing it, because I knew for certain, that this wasn’t going to be another “thing”. He was a different person now, one whose phone never stopped ringing, who was always brokering one deal or the other. He just didn’t have the temperament for the kind of relationship I wanted with him. I knew we were fireworks together but I also knew we were better apart.
Photo Credit: brownmamas.com
Mya Williams is a fiercely passionate and fun loving rebel/ nonconformist. She loves to write in her free time. She emphatically believes that certain societal customs and norms must be challenged if one is to have a fulfilled and happy life.