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Peculiar Okafor: Will You Marry Me?



What makes a man pop this question? (of course he’s usually down on one knee with an outstretched palm holding a ring box) Some men are so creative and ingenious that they script an academy award winning blockbuster just to pop this question. Some are more ‘normal’, others are downright uncreative and open the ring box with the question ‘Nne, will you?’

How ever the man chooses to propose, what makes a man decide to spend the rest of his life with one woman? Is it the length of time spent together? I know some men have left their longtime girlfriends only to pop the question to a woman they have known for a few months.

Is it the looks and packaging; I really want to know. But then, naija babes no dey carry last for packaging – not with the contouring and padding we have these days. Is it the famous ‘wife material’ that no one can truly define or state how many yards is essential.

My people, I’m sure lots of ladies want to know so that they can concentrate 80% of their time on this. Remember Pareto’s principle? As my usual aproko manner is, I decided to ask a few fiiiine brothers of both the single and married categories. I got the responses below. (Note that I included their profiles so that you can decide how to act depending on the kind of guy you want):

Single bro 1 (Fair, Average Height, Mid Level executive, relatively quiet but fun)
I think when a guy is ready and feels confident that he can handle a home, if he’s dating a lady he feels safe with and is confident and happy about that decision, then he’ll pop the question. I also think in situations where a guy dates a lady for 5 years and doesn’t get married to her, he probably knew he wouldn’t get married to her a long time before that but was hoping they’d argue and end it earlier.

Single Bro 2 (TDHGT young executive from a good background)
I think it’s when I feel like she fits into every aspect of my world and I also can fit into hers, if we’re compatible and I’m safe in her presence. She also has to have the right packaging.

Single bro 3 (Regular guy, young executive)
When the wifey material in her has blossomed. Every woman gets to this stage at different ages in their lives. When she’s forward thinking and can take care of a home. There’s a difference between a boyfriend and a wife.

The married guys had this to say:

Married bro 1: I was ready and felt very comfortable with her.

Married bro 2 (Management level executive, faithful husband)
First of all, I was ready. Then my wife was industrious, had a degree of independence and was forward thinking. She was also reserved and had that ‘thing’ that made you respect yourself in her presence.

Married bro 3 (Executive Management, Middle aged)
When I met my wife, I knew she was the one. Infact, the day I met her, we were both in different relationships, but I knew. She was what I had always prayed for.

Dunno if these responses help the single ladies out there but I must say this; I feel it is important that you be your best self and love will find you. Don’t try too hard to act like a ‘wife material’, just do you, knowing that ring or not, you’ll be fine.

Brothers, what will make you decide to ‘wife’ that sister and ladies, what’s your dream proposal. I’d really like to know.

Happy Valentine’s Day. God loves you.

PS: TDHGT stands for Tall, Dark, Handsome, Generous and Tush. I usually add the R which starts for Rich but the brother in question is barely 2 years into his career.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Michael Zhang

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. Sisi

    February 14, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    Personally I just think there’s more to it these days.

  2. @edDREAMZ

    February 14, 2015 at 5:32 pm

    Making sense post no doubt…..

  3. chi-e-z

    February 14, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    Men are so difficult to understand now a days. You can be independent, look hotter than his fantasies, cook better than mama, personalities gel from day 1, eyes blazing everytime you see each other and still he won’t look your face but visit every other agbero in her roost… I don’t get it?

    • rs

      February 14, 2015 at 7:28 pm

      chop knuckle!!!

    • Ima

      February 14, 2015 at 7:47 pm

      Maybe he’s not ready to get married yet, and knows that’s relationship with you means all or nothing.

    • Ima

      February 14, 2015 at 7:52 pm

      *that a relationship….

    • mrs O.

      February 17, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      Truth is if a guy”aint that into you”.. he “aint that into you”! Dont force it.. the babe would definitely find the one that is into her at the right time.
      p.s-of which I guess I’ve noticed that guys of nowadays are “too sharp” to be forced into anything, being relationships. Worst case, the dude would turn the babe into his “baby mama”. We got too many examples around!

  4. EllesarisEllendil

    February 14, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Personally, when I finish up my LLB, BA and PHD at 28 I’ll find me a woman great at Maths(I am hopeless at the subject and I have to think of the children), who is also beautiful, preferably Northern Nigerian(Because as an Igbo guy, I want to avoid bride-price, but charge the premium for my daughters). I wouldn’t mind if she was rich, witty and could cook up a storm in the kitchen too.
    The above in a nutshell is why proposing marriage seems to take so long. Some(Not all) of us have a fantasy of the perfect woman, some of us get into relationships because “body no be firewood” but deep down we’re still hoping to find that perfect woman and keep hoping she comes along which is why some marry a woman after five months having dumped the girlfriend of 5years. Miss 5 months may just have been the “one”.

    • UteO

      February 14, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Yeah. This explains why men are calculating in choosing their wives nowadays. It’s no longer about love. I noticed your “I won’t mind her being rich” part. In fact, most of what you have said has a lot to do with money. Most men of today are now gold giggers. Period! Funny thing is that both rich and average and even poor dudes are looking for girls with either good jobs or rich dads. That’s why I don’t get carried away with BN weddings anymore. May God help us.

    • EllesarisEllendil

      February 14, 2015 at 11:39 pm

      In this economy, gold-digging is the way forward. Plus if you have political or societal ambitions marrying right is key. Sorry if I seem cynical, just the way I see things.

    • Mz_daniels

      February 16, 2015 at 6:45 am

      You sound like a really selfish person dear. You are definitely not a husband material. Except im to assume you’re joking but you sound selfish oh

  5. Sugar

    February 15, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Single Bro 4: I proposed to her when i knew she’s got a Red/Blue passport in order for me to chase my dream of staying abroad and yes just like you stated we leave our long time girlfriend of 6 years to pursue our dreams of having a better live and become a citizen. Cant come back to naija to suffer…….

  6. larz

    February 16, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    It would be great to know their ages as well.

    “I think it’s when I feel like she fits into every aspect of my world and I also can fit into her”. this guy sound young.

    Note that majority of the guys said they were ready. It starts from being ready themselves. If you follow a guys that is nowhere near ready, you can be Maria from Sound of Music but it is wasted effort on a guy that is not quite there yet.

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