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Glory Edozien: Whose Man is He?

Glory Edozien

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TCD_9030As every single girl living in this commercial city knows, Lagos is tough. Finding a man (let’s not question if he is good, bad or ugly) is akin to finding a needle in a burning fire. To make matters worse, BellaNaija Weddings will not let someone rest-constantly flooding us with pictures of beautiful brides and dapper grooms all heading down the aisle. ‘Anh anh! Nah wetin na? I fine pass this girl???? Why am I still single’! (erm check your attitude honey but that is a matter for another day).

Recently a colleague of mine has sought the comfort of the longest treadmill in Lagos as both a weightloss tool and a man meeting hot spot. Apparently there is something about a woman in spandex running across a bridge that makes men quake. In case you missed it, the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge is a hot spot for meeting men, and many a Lagos single gal…(including those who live in Gbagada, Egbeda and Badagry) are getting concrete liaisons in this particular venue and my friend is no different. She met Dotun on one of her evening jogs and although their friendship started with a simple wave and a friendly smile, it wasn’t long before they had swapped numbers and started spending hours on the phone talking about nothing in particular.

After 2 weeks of what seemed to be a ‘we are going somewhere’ type of friendship, Dotun brought a new remix to the friendship. He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who lived in the far away land of Abuja, while my colleague was in the very present town of Lagos. Dotun offered no explanation for his need to form a new friendship with my colleague when he seemed to be in a relationship with madame Abuja, neither did he express any dissatisfaction with his relationship. He simply made it known that he was in a relationship and my colleague was left to chew on its implication.

Now those of you who have been reading my articles for a while would have guessed my advice. It was simple….RUN! (Metaphorically that is). But there were others at the usual office gossip headquarters with a different opinion. ‘Ah! Who told that girl to leave her man and be doing ministry work in Abuja’? ‘May be he isn’t happy with her’! ‘Maybe the relationship is strained because of distance’! ‘How can he spend any time with aunty Abuja when you guys are always together’? ‘Maybe he was only joking’! ‘Ah…there is no single man in Lagos oh,you just take the one you find and make it work’….and so the advice poured in and my colleague decided my advice was old fashioned and that Madam Abuja would just have to share.

Weeks passed and it seemed my colleague and Dotun had taken their undefined relationship steps further. There was no doubt she had fallen for him and was at the point of no return. So I asked her, ‘what are you going to do when Ms Abuja comes to visit over the weekend and Dotun tells you to give him some space’? After all homeboy had not lied about his status and she was well aware of the status quo. Her answer has still not arrived. After a while it became clear that I had become the enemy, so I quieted my judgemental tone and wished her the best.

However, as right as my advice felt I cannot help but to begin to question its benefits. Being single myself (and getting older by each second), the number of eligible SINGLE men in my dating pool dwindles faster than my data plan. Why then would I then put any further restrictions on what was already a tight situation? If a man found me attractive and interesting enough to date, what does it matter if he is currently attached, after all, it is only when man and woman have been formally joined as one that is considered wrong to put asunder.

I discussed this with my brother from another mother, Onome ( AKA Chief Relationship Advisor) and he pointed out that guys aren’t threatened if a babe is involved so why should I be. After all ‘na the dress wey person dey see, na im e dey wear’. But I am still not convinced. Am I really missing out on a new pool of possible eligible single men by placing old fashioned rules on modern ways of dating? Or is there something to be said for waiting for your own and the angry woman we call karma who keeps all records of wrong doing and claps back eventually. Should I continue to wait for my own or join in and let the best woman win?

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on www.inspiredbyglory.com

83 Comments

  1. Ocean Beauty

    March 23, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    That lekki-ikoyi bridge be forcing girls to form keeping fit. Even the ones who cannot afford sports wear turn up in jeans “bomb” shorts. I kid you not. At all at all naim bad pass.
    As for that kind guy once he drops hints of a babe, na to jump am pass. No time to check time.

    • Sugar

      March 23, 2015 at 5:52 pm

      Honestly there is truly no single man in lagos nowadays, i look left and right and every guy is wearing a ring. even the young ones like 29, 28 u glance on the left finger and your heart sinks low cos the ring is shinning and u just quickly give up at smiling at him. I told my aunty last week that it seem all the guys in Lagos are all married o. What is the fate of we single babes ehnnn Men are getting scarce and the world is coming to an end because its even written in the bible that in the last days there will be “few” men and tons of ladies

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      March 23, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      Dead @ “bomb” shorts. Girl, stop, I still dey office… 🙂

    • Nene

      March 24, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      “bomb” shorts!!!! Jesu i haf just died of laughter!!!!!!!

  2. T

    March 23, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    I was 19 when I fell for a guy who was in a relationship. He did tell me ..but after I had fallen for him..it didn’t end well and I damn sure wont do it again…and wont advice anyone to so. It never ends well and women always getting the losing end of the stick someone- no matter how good you are or how great the guy is… #stepaway

  3. T

    March 23, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    *somehow*

  4. Jane Public

    March 23, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    If you don’t mind sharing him when you get married, Kontinu. Many married women complaining about their husband’s infidelities today, and yes i said many. Bite me. Y’all had your history as singletons, and will now be acting brand new when you get married. Forgetting Lady Karma is waiting for you. Then hubby starts spreading his “love” and you start complaining. If you were okay with fighting for him, to be the best woman, best get your black belt ready and continue fighting even after marriage. Learned behaviour is difficult to unlearn. Infidelity is so rampant in our society because the women allow it. Main chick, side chick, jump pass chick, I can’t even keep track of the categories. You know he has more than you hanging around, you will throw your own hat in the ring and when you “win”. you console yourself that you got the ring. Ah well, that ring will become your prison uniform. Don’t envy the BN Weddings you see o, see them for entertainment and beautiful pictures and waka pass. I don’t even have the energy. When Le Boo’s ex girlfriend was feeling fresh with herself, I told him point blank, I will walk. You were the one who dated her, please deal with the situation and make it clear. I don’t share, I don’t know how to. Heaven forbid, I will be dragging man with another woman. Is the man the key to heaven? Fight for your man, fight for your relationship? Na so. Is the man fighting for you?

    • wagamama

      March 23, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      LMAO! Was in that situation with my ex too, told dude to handle the ex-babe….. She’d see me in town and stare me down for agessssss. LMAO! E consign me? Na my eye? He didn’t believe it when i called it off cos of their nonsense. Immediately i broke up with dude he proposed (THUNDER FIRE THE DEVIL)….. Turned it down before he finished the sentence! Took him a year before it became clear to him i’ve moved on. Last i heard, he’s dating the babes friend now (hahahahahahahaha!) I DOUDGE AM PASSS!

      Dear females……. Men full market bureketeeeee oooooh! STOP SELLING YOURSELF SHORT! YOU DESERVE BETTER!

    • nene

      March 23, 2015 at 5:40 pm

      gbam. nne high five and a bottle of odeku for you!

    • seun

      March 23, 2015 at 5:56 pm

      I cracked up @prison uniform> :()

    • Paypay

      March 23, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Men are every where jor. I’m 32, I have more suitors than when I was 25-30. Babe, don’t rush o. Men boku berekete.

    • Imose

      March 23, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      Wow !!! I am so glad you dodged a bullet !! Stay blessed

    • sarah

      March 23, 2015 at 5:13 pm

      i love dis.

    • Busola

      March 23, 2015 at 5:14 pm

      I’m rooting for you oh!!!! Your comment is everything.

    • Thatgidigirl

      March 23, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      Jane baybay I have missed u, and glory I have missed u even more. Awon sister wives ati sharers well done o! U wld soon be sharing the stds with the others in the picture….our husband tins.

    • Yassss Hunty!

      March 23, 2015 at 7:17 pm

      YASS GIRL!! PREACH *claps hands in satisfaction*

    • Glowing Sapphire

      March 24, 2015 at 8:36 am

      Where have you been Jane Public 🙂 !? Missed your entries.

    • Ngobeke

      March 24, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      Jane my love! Take 5!!!!! God bless you!

  5. tunmi

    March 23, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    Guys, guys, Lagos is not a city. It may feel like it behhhttttt Lagos is a state, not a city.

    • Yassss Hunty!

      March 23, 2015 at 7:18 pm

      -, who asked you.

    • tunmi

      March 23, 2015 at 11:35 pm

      Na Una wey done reduce am for city level

    • *curious*

      March 23, 2015 at 7:57 pm

      lol. ok tunmi, thanks for the reminder 🙂

    • me

      March 23, 2015 at 11:11 pm

      Lol

    • DN

      March 24, 2015 at 12:53 am

      So you know how New York City is a city in the state of New York? Well, same for Lagos; it’s a city in Lagos State.

  6. Grace

    March 23, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    🙂 I love this…..come to think of it that Lekki-Ikoyi road,the day i was driving pass and i noticed it i was flabbergasted at the turn of ladies in spadex….I was Grace it seems u are the only one refusing to stay fit o(funny enough i am married)LOL….I cant even walk or even run on that road what am i looking for? Even if i wasnt married. We ladies always have this notion that “na the one u see better pass the one u never see so hold this one tight”.(Crazy)it doesnt work. No matter what he just let her know that she is sure gonna be the side chick as he is got someone.(Because if it doesnt work tomorrow she will say he is wicked and start placing curses that will not work or eventually fall back on her)#JustSaying.

  7. wagamama

    March 23, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    WOW! CHOI! As it become that bad? That we now start shearing men?

    O well…….

    I just landed lasgidi o! Note to Mr X’s side chicks………

    Im back in town. MOVE OVER!

    I understand “no ring no claim”

    *THE DAY I FIGHT MY FELLOW WOMAN OVER A MAN WOULD BE THE DAY I DIE! *

    So need to fight over him

    Contrary to this article

    Men full market bureketeeeeeeeeee

    If he gets distracted (i.e. if i sniff, not even catch o! if i sniff the presence of another woman/women) or picks you over me……… ON TO THE NEXT ONE! NO TIME!

    • Sunshine

      March 23, 2015 at 5:46 pm

      lol,I like your style, True dat, no man is worth fighting over.

    • loveydovey

      March 23, 2015 at 8:20 pm

      As in nothing oh my sister…..

  8. Flakes

    March 23, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    An interesting way to look at it is by turning the table around. What if you were the girlfriend in Abuja?

  9. pearl

    March 23, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    @ Jane public tell dem karma awaits U nd dats how wen u get urs some1else will come take him. Girls are too desperate and heartless nd d funny thing is dat guys know d 1 dat is deirs even if u like wash, cook, spread leg it won’t change anything. U will jst be a rag to be used nd dumbed. What a society we live in now!!!! Lord hav mercy whew!!!

  10. honest one

    March 23, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    Nice write up. however i was a bit offended when you suggested that single ladies have bad attitudes. Couldnt it be that they deserve better and will rather wait out than settle for less. why does it always have to be the ladies fault?

    • nira

      March 23, 2015 at 9:20 pm

      I concur with you honest one. So the single ladies are single cos they have bad attitude? I m sorry, but that statement is ignorant to say the least. Why must it always be the lady’s fault. I know many nice ladies with wonderful behaviours that re single…dont even let me start because its going to be an epistle. But that statement is sooo wrong.

    • adelegirl

      March 24, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      @honest one, seems to me you missed the point Glory was making there. She never implied or said single ladies have bad attitudes. She made that comment in reference to this: “‘Anh anh! Nah wetin na? I fine pass this girl???? Why am I still single’! “. Thinking that you’re better looking, ergo, more deserving to be getting married is a serious attitude problem which needs to be checked. That was her point

  11. Cece

    March 23, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    The sad truth is that there is no Karma when it comes to men. They would still. cheat on virgins. They just have to have sex

    • Ohi

      March 23, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      You think Virgins don’t play the, I want to be the best woman game? Sit down there, let pant wear you. This isn’t necessarily about sex. If you let him have side chicks while saying oh you are a virgin, your own hymen is industrial grade, he respects me, i am the main chick, the rest are hungry side chicks. The hymen will break abi and you continue your main chick, side chicks, start cursing all the girls around him dance. That is where Karma comes in. Plus the ones that knew he had a girlfriend and still chook their head in, Karma is also waiting for you. He cheated with you, you knew he was cheating and you married him, both of you will continue fighting for him after marriage. Don’t start what you can’t finish, or as Jane Public said, don’t complain. Onkoo hubby hasn’t changed, he just got married. Gerrit?

    • Cece

      March 23, 2015 at 8:54 pm

      @ Ohi.

      Mehn…..i am seeing wonders in this your essay! You totally missed my point and began to tell us about your own obvious experience here.

    • D

      March 23, 2015 at 10:18 pm

      OMG!!!! Died @ your own hymen is industrial grade….For real Nigerians ehen…lmso

  12. nene

    March 23, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    glory, let me start by saying i love you very much! listen to your mind, you are right. you don’t have to share with another women. when will women learn? if a man loves you, he will come for you. men always know what they want! your friend is asking for trouble because dotun has already been honest with her (most men would lie), which shows he loves his abuja girlfriend.

  13. jefka

    March 23, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    my dear single ladies and hungry married womens (in mama peace voice)
    the way you are wearing spandex abi na spanxy to jog on lekki/ikoyi bridge to catch bobo is thesame way they too are wearing tights to catch osho free……..
    be careful, dont come and say i dinor know………
    you wee see one bobo coming all the way from lakhowe or ogun state to come and jog and u wee be waving and smiling at him……isorait, kontinu

    • nene

      March 23, 2015 at 6:32 pm

      lmfao.

    • owelle

      March 23, 2015 at 11:05 pm

      Lmao @ ogun state

    • chichi

      March 23, 2015 at 11:50 pm

      #dead..why are yall like this?

  14. Jagbajantis

    March 23, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    There are no hard and fast rules/advice you can give. Dotun may just be putting his hands in, and eating from two separate pots. There may even be a 3rd wheel, and he is just using all three.

    Or he may be genuine. He may be tired of the long distance relationship and is seeing what else is out there. Your friend would have to find out by not getting carried away, and asking the right questions, and bailing the hell out of Dodge if it appears Dotun is trying to side-chick her. Keep your eyes open, ears peeled, and legs closed.

    And I do not agree single girls need to change their attitude and it is what is keeping them “single”. Here are my 2 kobo:

    1. There are a shortage of the kind of men, girls prefer to date especially in the big cities of Lagos, PH and Abuja. Most girls prefer professionals who are a bit settled, preferably with a place and a car. That narrows the pool. Imagine now if religion/denomination, race/ethnicity and blood type, social strata now enters the equation. That is one tiny pool. Look at photos of most events that Bellanaija posts up. Have you noticed that there are loads of chicks, but usually just a few fellas. Did you notice that there are Federal Govt Colleges for only girls in most states, and then a mixed one. Lagos in particular is a single (or married) man’s dream when it comes to women. There are swathes of them

    2. To meet the right guy, girls have to bend their rules a bit. A popular saying goes that to meet your prince, you may have to kiss several frogs. What if a frog does not change to a prince appearance-wise, but is just as charming and thinks the world of you. What if you yourself are a toad in the looks department. It is funny when you see wowo girls refusing to date ugly guys.

    3. You may also have to change social circles a bit. Give guys you would not normally do, a chance. Be more engaging during conversation. Lekki-Ikoyi bridge is not the only place where jogging goes on. Do you know that the National Stadium in Surulere is a popular destination for people working out. You need not go all the way to Lekki from your abode in Egbeda. Why not go to the stadium? Yes Surulere is not as cool as Lekki, but you live in Egbeda na. Dey there.

    4. Take good care of yourself. Be in the best physical and mental shape you can be. It is not about being fat or skinny. Be your best, if you want to attract the best. That goes for both sexes. Shave that armpit. Wear decent fitting clothes. Get other interests and hobbies so you do not get frustrated if you are not attracting a partner.

    5. Be truthful to yourself. Do you really want a man or is it because you dont want to look queer to people. Not everyone is built for a relationship or marriage. Not everyone can submit to the demands of a marriage. Our society has to make space for those who fit this category.

    • EllesarisEllendil

      March 23, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      A++++++++++++++++++++++
      Numbering and Paragraphs, your advice wasn’t half-bad either.

  15. Tatler

    March 23, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    If he isn’t committed to you whilst dating, he never will when married.
    Same applies to the virgin brides who turn their blind eye on the partners cheating because see it as him respecting their purity vow, they’re the main chick and he’s using the side chicks for sexy time.
    Odes

  16. Mz Socially Awkward...

    March 23, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Yasss, Glory’s back. *grinning like a goon”

    And one twale to BN for running a Ms Edozien feature, considering Ms Dela-Vega’s current and month-long absence.

    On this topic, Glory, I’ve witnessed the occurrence enough times to make me wonder what it profiteth a woman to be called “girlfriend” or “babe” when her bobo is clearly not committed enough to the relationship to be exploring other potentials. I mean, let’s face facts squarely – it really boils down to whether the man considers himself to be committed or not.

    I was a young’un when I first saw it happening live and direct, with a good friend who met her husband whilst he was still dating another woman. And being an ignorant smallie back then (we were in Uni), it never occurred to me to take the other woman’s emotional trauma into consideration. Boyfriend na im dey sweet us back then so we just wore asoebi and danced very well at the wedding. However, as I grew older, I have to admit I sometimes remembered the whole situation and wondered what ever happened to the babe who ended up boyfriend-less and whether she got over everything in time to meet her OWN man.

    And then I saw it happen again and again, for different reasons and I really just marvel every time. Not because I’m in a position to condemn the women in question (don’t really have words for the shadiness of the men who’re straying from their relationships) but because I just genuinely wonder how our hearts and convictions can make room to accept a committed man, fully aware of the painful emotional risks involved.

    Nne, I no know whether I go ever fit… In fact, abeg, leave this matter. Na koro-koro cheating wey don wear designer cloth.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      March 23, 2015 at 6:24 pm

      *when her bobo is clearly not committed enough to the relationship to stop himself from exploring other potentials*

  17. sika

    March 23, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    There are many good single men in Lagos. Most women just dont know how to get their attention. A lot of you are insecure and desperate. Most of you dont have a mind of your own..you move in circle of friends and still make decisions like you are in high school. I dont mean to sound conceited but….its not hard finding a man. You just have to be a confident woman, be patient..and dont take bullshit/settle. Focus on improving yourself and your life rather than focusing on getting a man. Men are simple… very simple beings…but they know when you are desperate to ‘marry’. They smell it a mile away…not a cute look i tell you. Also the good men like a woman of substance. so why would you think you will attract that which you are not? baffles me

    Anyway, dating a man who is already in a relationship is stupid. I mean how do you think its going to end? if you end up getting married to him, then get ready for a life of lying and cheating. He did it with you and he will do it to you.

    I agree with the above comment about karma catching up with some married ladies. SO all you single babes that date married or unavailable men, get ready to get served in a few years time. No amount of church going or mountain of fire fellowship will help you here love.

  18. Fitness

    March 23, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    Don’t like the stereotype and assumptions being made about ladies who run on ikoyi link bridge…. I’m a mum, happily married and working class. The bridge provides some level of security for my daily running regime of 10kms, the altitude is also great. And I can run into ikoyi to get my 15kms over weekends. Whilst there are people on the bridge with ulterior motives, there are clearly real runners who want to keep fit and hey, if you meet a nice guy in the process and single, why not? Aren’t we all encouraged to go out to increase our sphere of influence to grow professionally and otherwise ? I see many married and even very senior colleagues on that bridge. Please don’t generalise

    • Tatler

      March 23, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      I do often wonder if ‘working class’ has a different meaning to what it means in the British class system, that is where they got the term from, no? I often see nigerians & even businesses use this term in the most peculiar ways like above.

    • Jagbajantis

      March 23, 2015 at 8:47 pm

      Tatler, the thing tire me. Nigerians use the word “working class” in the wrongest manner. “Working class” in England traditional refers those outside the aristocrat class or the clergy.

      Nigerians use “working class” to define anyone who is a professional – working in banking, oil & gas, telecoms etc. It is the wrong use of the word

    • Tatler

      March 23, 2015 at 9:27 pm

      Not quite, working class is unskilled/semi skilled labour – those in domestic service, the labourers, plumbers, blue-collar workers, tradespeople & co.
      The clergy are considered middle-class, most in the 19c were educated at either Oxford or Cambridge. The professionals, lawyers, docs, civil servants etc are middle class. And those who could afford to idle away their days wondering what an earth a weekend is (The Dowager Countess of Grantham – Downton Abbey) i.e. landed & titled gentry were the aristocrats. The aristos didn’t ‘work’, it was beneath them. They collected rent.

    • Alero

      March 24, 2015 at 11:25 am

      Tatler, working class also includes white collar workers, i.e., those who sit in an office environment, perhaps in front of a computer. So, in the context, I do not think that Fitness is entirely wrong; except of course she runs an SME (Small and Medium Enterprise)

  19. Tosin

    March 23, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    i don’t understand.
    it’s like this whole thing i don’t understand.
    like, what’s the purpose of a girlfriend in Abuja? Is that like a premarriage thing, or a friendship or a what?

  20. Uzoamaka

    March 23, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    God bless you for this line “If you let him have side chicks while saying “oh you are a virgin, your own hymen is industrial grade, he respects me, i am the main chick, the rest are hungry side chicks . . .” This is not about gender either – we all deserve better as human beings- so don’t compromise!

  21. bb

    March 23, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    There is no scarcity of men and not all men are married. The problem is the type of men you are attracted to are all married. Most women like good looking, God fearing and rich boys, well guess what? Men like that are the cream of the cream, the top 1%, so they marry early. Maybe, you need to drop the Rich and good looking part and open yourself to more options.

  22. Miss

    March 23, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    I experience this sometimes,the worse is the guy that forms friendship just to get the cookie then when u re now falling for them,they tell u they re not ready. I just cut off and I tetll them goodbye. Babe please let him go coz u will so get hurt

    • babey

      March 24, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      You are so right babe.
      They think they are smart and they could have just any gal they desire but trust me there is nothing better than distinguishing yourself, atleast you still hold your self respect and dignity.I was had the experience but I cut him off once I realize his motives.

    • babey

      March 24, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      *i once had*

  23. Jay

    March 23, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    I have been married for 12 years now, date for maybe another 5 years before then and not for once have I ever had to fight over a man and as long as I live by God’s grace I will never fight over a man. Not even my wonderful and caring husband is worth the trouble. How I wish I could bottle my attitude and sell it to my sisters out there. I am not your regular beautiful girl, yes I have a pretty face but so does a million and 1 girls out there but for me it has always been about loving myself first and letting you know you are not my world, you are just a part of it, if you decide to leave I sure as heck will have a case of the blues but I will eventually put on my big girls pants and move on.
    Once a man knows you are that confident about yourself they fall in line and get with the program.

    • newbie

      March 24, 2015 at 2:27 am

      Jay nwa mama, I just loved your comment 10 times. Your last sentence sealed it for me …’Once a man knows you are that confident about yourself they fall in line and get with the program.’ Gbam! School dismiss! Finito!!!
      If only I could bottle THIS golden nugget and distribute to awon ladies for free….there would be world peace.

    • babey

      March 24, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      Congrats!!!
      Just count yourself LUCKY woman.Marriage success is just by God’s grace not by your power.Alot of Good fearing,respectful,hardworking,beautiful women who still went through hell in their marriages.So its not by your doing but by God madam.

  24. Jay

    March 23, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    * dated

  25. babygiwa

    March 23, 2015 at 11:58 pm

    @jay, I love your self confidence. God bless you!

  26. Ib

    March 24, 2015 at 12:39 am

    THE QUEEN IS BACK! All hail Queen Glory. See! BN I throway salute for una. You just brightened my week with this. When I saw the Gl…I couldn’t believe my eyes. Always a sight for sore eyes.God bless your other endeavours Glory.
    A lot of women are throwing away their conscience because of “time is not on my side” syndrome. Yes, we all hope to find the one and settle down but sister, there is more to life than marriage. I hope we can all say so with a clear conscience.
    “See me see trouble, brother you go marry me o ..today today”

  27. mywifeisfiiiiiiine

    March 24, 2015 at 1:12 am

    I have a beautiful baby girl and I pray she never goes through the things I read and see. Don’t share a man with another woman, you are sharing your body and soul with a woman you don’t know through a man that doesn’t mean well for you. If you want the sex look for a guy that is not attached. Cheating is painful, it degrades the other person beyond repair; i am not a saint but I keep my marriage sacred so I can attract blessings not just for me but for my lovely little baby that God has given us. Instead of taking another woman’s own, get your own; if he isn’t rich don’t mind as long as he has potential. My mother married my father because she saw potential in him, my wife’s father told me when I went to ask for her hand in marriage that I am the one for his daughter, he has money but he knows I have potential so we should manage ourselves and we will be fine. And by God’s grace we are fine, take greed from your eye o ye lagos babe’s; your mums managed with your dads why can’t you manage today. In the Nigeria we live in how do you really expect a young man from a regular background to have all you want before you give him face. Stop being treacherous, be good and good will come your way and if it doesn’t come in form of marriage, God will compensate you in another way. And for my fellow guys, stop using genuine women, there are a lot of runz babe’s who don’t care for your love, I thought we all talk about sex with no strings as the bomb, leave a woman that you know wants love so another man can notice her that wants her. I really detest users, it’s really not that hard to be a one woman man or vice versa

    • Luls

      March 24, 2015 at 4:18 pm

      You are on point! I married my husband because he has potential. Money will come, we both work hard. Most ladies need to remove the greed from their eyes. I once dated a ‘happening guy’, so called eligible as he had all the right things and was ‘settled’, all I got was heartbreak! We were many sharing him. Letting go was hard, but I eventually did.
      Fast forward to when I met my hubby, the peace I have over him is unprecedented. I never have a cause to worry.

    • Joan85

      March 24, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      Yup, my story. Like you and I could be twins lol

  28. Jagbajantis

    March 24, 2015 at 1:13 am

    Read my comment again. We are saying the same thing. Working class is the class outside the landed gentry and the clergy. Basically working class is any class of purple who worked the land in what was derived from the feudal system in the middle ages.

    Anyway, it is used in a different context in Nigeria to denote anyone who has a professional job.

  29. omololami

    March 24, 2015 at 6:26 am

    Booboo kitty, e no safe oo! hmm before another woman would just baptise you with acid, better clear for road! because you think everyone is posh abi what? The woman would just come argue and cry and leave right? LOOL!!!! think again love,, he tells you he has a girlfriend? that one na red light!! WAKA PASSSS

  30. Cynth

    March 24, 2015 at 9:03 am

    My dear single ladies….if Lagos is bad in terms of finding good men..then Abuja is Hell Fire..trust me….

  31. jennietobbie

    March 24, 2015 at 9:40 am

    My grandmothers will curse and spit dirt into my eyes if I DARE fight another woman because of a man or comfortably share a man with another woman. Tufiakwa!! Aru.

    Welcome back, Glory. Hope you are here to stay? Pls, don’t disappear on us. 🙂

  32. Bella

    March 24, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Ah…there is no single man in Lagos oh, you just take the one you find and make it work’.. this comment had me ROTF, kai we have suffered for this Lagos o!

  33. yea

    March 24, 2015 at 10:50 am

    i once dated a guy who could be considered a fine guy and it somehow got into his head, he started cheating. i just happened to go through his sms one day and saw the indications. i woke him up from sleep and said “dear, i know you will beg me for months and try to win me back with all you’ve got and i may stall and appear to want to agree but in the end, i will still leave you because God forbid that i have a philandering husband. besides, when this relationship started, i made it plain that i don’t share.” and like i said, he begged me for more than 6 months and we still broke up. my friend who was married to his friend then told me to accept him, that “something must always give” and that he’s a good man and he clearly adores me bla bla. Now she’s so unhappy because her husband cheats on her and i’m married to a man who may not necessarily be considered a fine guy but he understands the value of family and he totally loves the air i breathe.

    ladies, no man is worth fighting over, if he wants you to share him or fight over him, then he’s totally not worth a nanosecond of your precious time.

  34. adelegirl

    March 24, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    Wait for your own man o… Though (he) tarries, (he) will surely come and won’t be late. Totally not worth the bad karma, uncertainty, guilt and bad energy that comes with being a side chick waiting on some man to decide who he really wants. When he has dis-entangled himself from the other woman, give him space sef for a couple months before you agree to date him. In the midst of this so-called man scarcity, people are getting married everyday, some to people without baggage too. At 33, after leaving a very long-term relationship where I wondered where I would start from, I got married to a wonderful un-encumbered, very gainfully employed, beautiful man after God’s own heart specially tailored for me. This man-scarceness is a myth from the devil to mislead women into making the wrong choices. Don’t fall for it, don’t compromise on your moral standards just because “mama say make we marry, papa say make we born”

  35. Personal Signature

    March 24, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    Men are available everywhere.

    1. If you go to churches, you see them there; if you go to clubs, you will find them there; Offices, parks, street corners, walk ways, parks, bus stops and even around and beside your house, they are there. The only problem is that the “kind and type of man you want, is not available or hooked”

    2. You all know these wonderful ladies want the best. You all have suddenly been initiated into wanting the Tall, dark, handsome, rich, eloquent, 2-3degree holders, an owner/tenant of a nice apartment, a posh car owner, a fat account owner and a good job placement holder. Do not misunderstand me, everyone in life desires the best and a desire for the earlier listed isn’t a bad thing.

    3. The only thing is that these set of men are either married or hooked by fellow ladies who want same xtics as you do. Do we then say that we have a shortage of men? NO! Men are bereketeciously in large supply but the ones you are attracted to or desire to have are in little or no supply.

    If this be the case, what is the next solution?

    1. Go for the ones who are still on the path to success and manage/struggle with them till you both are made. Don’t also forget that the made ones today had a wife/gf who stood by them all through their own wilderness.

    2. If as an individual you can’t struggle/manage with the upcoming ones, you could choose to enjoy life alone by getting more degrees, travel all round the world and probably adopting a child or two. Being single isn’t a crime and not a ticket to heaven

    3. This should not be an option, but for those who wouldn’t mind the consequence (be it an attack from the main chick, name calling, some hot water and pepper spray, assassination, heart break, someone taking your name to an herbalist or doing vigil on top your head, stds as a result of sleeping with someone who has multiple partners, e.t.c) can go ahead and date those ones who meet their criteria but are not available.

  36. sussy

    March 24, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    I agree with you a 100%, men are many everywhere in lagos, depends on the spec you are talking about, most of them are still upcoming. My pastor said you are eyeing a man, you are saying he is tall,dark,handsome, rich etc, most time he is another woman’s hard work, later you will be complaining you are only getting married toasters, we all want the best but you can take a not quite made man and make him your finished product, this advice goes to me too.

    • Personal Signature

      March 24, 2015 at 4:10 pm

      Blowing you kisses

  37. sussy

    March 24, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    I meant i agree with you Personal Signature 100%

  38. FLOW

    March 24, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Hmmm, this matter be as e get sha, I’m not in support of cheating, or fighting over a man (God forbid bad thing!) But, what is the probability that the babe in Abuja isn’t cheating too? Maybe the bobo has his doubts about her and that’s why he’s considering other “options” too, lol, I’m just saying sha, I’m never a fan of long distance relationships, but if u chose to go that route, then be honest with your partner and trust each other completely so as to eliminate doubts. The truth is that for a man to tell u a he has a babe from the onset, its a subtle way of saying he just wants to have fun, means he’s clearly defined whatever he wants to have with you as a fling, and if u chose to stay, do so with ur feelings in check and don’t feel used when its all said and done, problem is 90% of side chicks eventually fall for their flings, and make issues complicated for themselves. Piece of advice to the ladies, if u cannot keep your emotions in check and just “go with the flow” till u both tire it out, then don’t start at all, these men NEVER leave the love of their lives for flings, and any man that can be “stolen” from another woman is no man at all, he’s just a piece of property waiting for the next thief to take their turn, so don’t get all head swollen because he left her for you, your own turn will come too, its inevitable, just enjoy your turn while it lasts and pray for restoration of ur soul and his while you’re at it, full stop!

  39. ...just saying

    March 25, 2015 at 1:05 am

    Dear Glory, the fact that you and your friends are finding it difficult to meet and date men doesn’t mean it’s the same for all women in Lagos o! Don’t know where you ladies have been hanging out but single men full ground o!

  40. Efee

    March 25, 2015 at 4:39 am

    I don laff tire this morning…BNers, y’all never disappoint! My 10kobo has been snatched from me…as in ain’t nothing left to say. Glory, great article! Keep ’em coming!

  41. Louda

    March 25, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    Immediately I moved to Abuja from Lagos, The only song a friend kept singing into my ears was that there was no husband in Abuja. I was like well I didnt come to Abuja to find husband, I came because I got a mega job. I am 30 but I tell you that since I came into this town husband has been coming sef I am the one running as usual God help me. There is men just like there is God. Even though some say there isn’t. Sometimes, girls who are desperate to catch husband have a bad attitude. My so called friend came to Abuja before me and I discovered she had changed drastically. Once I say I met a guy the next thing I hear is I hope he is talking marriage, call him to take us out, has he asked for your account number. Its so crazy. This Karma karma I see and hear everywhere sometimes it doesnt catch the guilty ones, it catches innocent ones too. Some ladies who married their husbands as virgins have their husbands cheating on them too. Its a mans world, a cheat is a cheat whether the wife slept with only single guys while she was single or not.

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