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#Father’s Day 2015: Read Pastor Tony Rapu’s Heartfelt Piece Titled ‘Letter From a Father’

BellaNaija.com

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Hi son,
I remember the indescribable joy in the labour ward on the day you were born, and it seems to me that almost overnight, you have grown into a strapping young man. I have so much to say to you as you navigate your path towards manhood: what it feels like to fall in love with the woman you will marry; what it feels like to earn your first paycheck; what it feels like to buy your first house…The list of my experiences are no doubt varied and numerous, but I want to share just a few thoughts with you this Father’s Day 2015.
Be responsible
Be responsible
Your Mum has told you this a thousand times, and she is right – you do need to be responsible. If you’re involved in a project or activity, take the lead and act responsibly. If you make a mess, clean it up. Do the right thing. Don’t wait for someone else to take responsibility; just do it. When you disappoint those close to you, resist the urge to make excuses or blame others; take responsibility for your actions and ask for forgiveness.

Your friends

Your friends
I know you love to hang out with your friends, and that’s not a bad thing. Hang out with them as much as you want to, but if your friends are doing something you know is wrong, stand your ground and do not follow. Sometimes it’s tough finding yourself alone because of the values you’ve learned from home and church, but trust me on this one – never abandon your faith or your values to follow the crowd.

Your girlfriends

Your girlfriends
With your looks and physique, it’s clear you will meet loads of girls in your life. Treat them all with dignity and respect. Care more about their inner beauty than their outward appearance. Treat their bodies, and yours, like the temples of God and don’t give in to sinful behavior. Remember to do the right thing and save yourselves for marriage. Remember how to ‘Counter-Kulture’. The world may make a mockery of your faith and values but stand for God and you will be fine. And when you do find the right girl, if she’s anything like your mum, don’t let her go.

Be authentic

Be authentic
Don’t ever pretend to be who you’re not. You are who God created you to be. Don’t hide from your true self, and don’t hide your faith or your beliefs from others. Stand against popular opinion when you know you should and do it every time the opportunity arises. Be the man. God’s man!

Pray often

Pray often
You may find it difficult to find a church you like. That’s fine. Just remember that you are the ‘church’. Church is not necessarily a building; God is with you at all times. One of Jesus’ names is Emmanuel, which in a sense is the ‘God who hangs out with us’. So talk to Him. You don’t always have to pray with your eyes closed, hands clasped and head bowed; thinking thoughts directed to God can be prayer. Do it often and consistently.

Don't cut corners

Don’t cut corners
Don’t cut corners or take short cuts in your work or studies. Don’t look for the easy way out of problems; do that which is hard. Working hard can seem futile sometimes but there is really no substitute for hard work. Persistence pays off in the long run. And by the way, sitting near the front of the class is likely to help you pay more attention. And remember – Read! Read! Read! The more you read, the more you will know.

Live on a budget

Live on a budget
Put yourself on a budget and resist the urge to spend beyond your budget. Keep an account of the money you’ve spent and learn to save, save, save. Prioritize what you’re spending your money on. Don’t be influenced by your friends’ spending habits. Put your spare change in a jar; it adds up. Use Skype or emails to save money on phone calls. Ask for student discounts. Book your tickets in advance. If you are disciplined and prudent, your money will work for you.

Hurts

Hurts
At one point or another, you will inevitably be hurt or disappointed by people you trust. When this happens, you may want to retreat into yourself or you may want to quit, but don’t! Do what a real man does – love anyway.

Temptations

Temptations
You will be tempted like you’ve never been tempted before – alcohol, drugs, sex, porn…It takes character, a whole lot of character not to succumb to these temptations. We know that you have a large reservoir of character. Don’t forget it. Tap into it every time the need arises.

Communicate

Communicate
Call Mum regularly, not just when you want something. Call her just to say hello and find out how she’s doing. Trust me, this will make her very happy. Email us both from time to time. It’s a good way of honoring your parents. Remember other people’s birthdays, especially your sisters and extended family. A surprise email from you will gladden their hearts greatly.

Finally, and most importantly, I want you to know your Mum and I love you very much and we are very proud of you.

Your Dad

78 Comments

  1. Zadera

    June 21, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Well said Pastor!

    • nky

      June 21, 2015 at 5:43 pm

      Zedera well said and Long life!

  2. mamaisabel

    June 21, 2015 at 10:47 am

    Quite Profound. It feels quite refreshing when you hear a parent admonish his/her son on how to be a man and not just in the area of makn money but also knowing how to treat ladies and be a godly gentleman.

    • Bussy Girl

      June 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm

      Quite refreshing. This comes from a father who is real and who recognises the struggles of youths of today. May your son be all that God wants Him to be in Jesus name

  3. Babym

    June 21, 2015 at 10:53 am

    Awwww this is just beautiful. Yassss this is what i love to see. “The young men we are raising” there is nothing like a fathers guidiance and love when navigating through life. Truer words were never spoken. Now let me go and call my daddy dearest and thank him for making me who i am today 🙂

  4. Patrick

    June 21, 2015 at 11:08 am

    Wow! Wish my dad was saying all these to me, but am proud how my mum has raised me regardless, Happy fathers day Pastor, ur son seem like a cool kid.

  5. jennifer

    June 21, 2015 at 11:31 am

    My eyes soaked with tears, My heart is so filled, Well said Pastor, Well said.
    By the grace of God when I get to that stage #having Kids, I would have loads of things to write for my children Including Experiences During my youth.. thanks

    • Nky

      June 21, 2015 at 12:58 pm

      Jennifer Thank God for you life,it will not be soaked with tears! Amen

  6. Atufe Sarah

    June 21, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    So beautiful, and inspiring. Every child needs those words.

  7. Dr. N

    June 21, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    Pls if u find a girl half as awesome as ur FANTASTIC mum, marry her, lol.
    Shout out to PT. U r raising a wonderful family.
    And d points I loved 1. Counter-kulture
    2. U r d church
    3. Take responsibility for your errors.

  8. Opara Boy

    June 21, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    Love this!

  9. Seun

    June 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    ………… and, that’s my pastor. Always on point! Every young man should read this. God bless PT.

  10. Tolu Fash

    June 21, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    OMG!!!!!! . This is so on point, there are too many things from this letter every child should hear and apply for every day life. God bless fathers like PT. who is father to many and not only To his children.

  11. Akintola

    June 21, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    This can only be from a genuine father who himself, is a real man! PT, well said. All of us your sons have taken note and we will live thereby, by God’s grace. Thank you sir.

  12. shayhee jay

    June 21, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    nice outpoured letter to be read ova&ova again…#thumbupsire

  13. Wole A.

    June 21, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Awesome

  14. molarah

    June 21, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    Loving all the father-son shots, and smiling through a lot of the advice. So heartwarming! God bless our men and give them the strength, wisdom and power to be true “daddies”. Happy father’s day to our men!

  15. Ngee

    June 21, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Omg I love this. Nice one pastor! I learnt a lot from this.

  16. BlueRain

    June 21, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    This is so refreshing and so on-point. God bless fathers like Pastor Tony who are raising godly boys into godly men.

  17. Igbegocho

    June 21, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    lovely PT, just lovely.

  18. Ephi

    June 21, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    Wise words, really wise words

  19. jide

    June 21, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    He made an excellent point about cleaning up his own mess. Lol. This is a foundational issue with men today. They are well versed when it’s time to make a mess but AWOL when it’s time to handle their own mess and clean shit up… they always delegate the mess clean up to their mothers or relatives

  20. Patience

    June 21, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    Awesome. Directing my brothers to this.

  21. mabel

    June 21, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    God bless Pastor Tony and Mrs Nkoyo Rapu.

  22. Chinwe

    June 21, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    This is such a wonderful piece!!!!!!

  23. Nika

    June 21, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    Is it possible to be a good wife and mother if I never had a father figure around?
    *P.S. My dad passed away when I was very young,

    • Elle

      June 21, 2015 at 10:35 pm

      Yes it’s possible Nika. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You can be a good wife and mother with determination and support from wise well meaning folks.

    • Bee

      June 21, 2015 at 10:40 pm

      Yes nika very possible, be determined… I know that feeling

    • Dr. N

      June 21, 2015 at 11:19 pm

      U need a daddy? Try our Heavenly father. He will make u a great wife and mother.
      Bonus: He will never pass away.
      E-hugs

    • kemison

      June 22, 2015 at 8:26 am

      By God’ grace , it is possible but please read and learn from people with good experience on parenting. Attend seminars on marriage too. Wish you the best. I did not know my father untill i was 22 .

    • RIFF RAFF

      June 22, 2015 at 12:17 pm

      God is your Father. Always remember that.

  24. topsy

    June 21, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    Wow this is so awesome. Well said pastor!

  25. Bee

    June 21, 2015 at 10:38 pm

    I didn’t grow up having a dad, so this article really touched me in the spine. I promise by God’s grace I’ll give my kids what I never had. God bless PT and family.

  26. B.E

    June 22, 2015 at 7:44 am

    Amazing PT!!!!!! Amazing words.

    “Never abandon your faith and values to follow the crowd”…. Amazing words!!!!

  27. ama

    June 22, 2015 at 8:25 am

    I’m emotional

  28. obi-talker

    June 22, 2015 at 9:37 am

    such a beautiful family. God bless them!

  29. Bisi

    June 22, 2015 at 10:25 am

    This brought tears to my eyes. God bless all fathers. Mine died last week Sunday. Rest in peace dad….we all miss you

    • RIFF RAFF

      June 22, 2015 at 12:18 pm

      Sorry dear…..really sorry.

  30. DAME

    June 22, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Dr Tony Rapu is always on point…Thank you pastor… You spoke to me also

  31. Kadbella

    June 22, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Lovely and beautiful words

  32. Im sad

    June 22, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    I’m sad my kids will have no dad to write this kind of letter because I married a loser. So sad to say this but it’s all about money money money for him. Money doesn’t answer all questions! Money won’t guide or teach a son. Money won’t make anyone happy for long.

    How I wish I could rewrite my life story. This man will never be in it.

    • uhmm

      June 22, 2015 at 2:39 pm

      ur post is quite painful but i think is not over, Don’t give up on God dont give on him (ur husband). you are His wife, there is a place for teaching and loving ur husband, the result might not be immediate but certainly love overcometh all things, cry to God, HE created ur husband and he sure can mold him into the Perfect Husband for you.

    • Ighoro Alexander

      June 22, 2015 at 11:24 pm

      That is true. Keep loving him. Love, like some said can make a soldier cry. It will get better

  33. Proudly TPH

    June 22, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    God bless you PT. This is simply the Truth. May I Marry a Man like you who will teach our Children Godly principles. Your Children are blessed. God bless you and Mrs R. You guys are my Role models.

  34. adelegirl

    June 22, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    I am bookmarking and saving this page as pdf. So important for young men to be raised right. I am passing it on to the Mr so he can pass it on to our son(s). If possible, this needs to be framed and put on the wall of the “boys'” rooms. Better still, I think Pastor TP needs to write a book on this topic. It seems more “real”, coming from a Nigerian father.

    God bless you Pastor Tony Rapu.

  35. trippy

    June 22, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    someone said she married a looser, why? because he goes about making money for the family.. i dont think that makes him a looser..if all he talks is money money money, u should know that he does that for you and your kids. you can encourage him to create time for you and your kids as well. happy Father’s day pastor T

  36. chiadi

    June 22, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Couldn’t have been said better PT, Quality and pedigree birthed,,,

  37. pat

    June 22, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    well said, I love this piece of advice and I will pass it on pastor. Remain bless

  38. Ella

    June 22, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    Go PT..go, go…go PT! Gosh! I love it when you hold it down like this…truer words have never been said! So proud of you right now….that’s my Pastor?…I am so saving this for my sons to read when they come of age….#truelyinspiring

  39. Ubong Moses

    June 22, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    .this is it!

    .now, this urges me to regurgitate the noble statistic… that fathers should stay up as the first grand inspiration to their children.

  40. Ada

    June 22, 2015 at 7:10 pm

    Beautiful piece. Well spoken. Thank you pastor Rapu. I will save this for my son.

  41. EVANGELINE ANKRAH (Princess Amoah)

    June 22, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Please your husband isn’t a looser. Pls continue praying for him, and the Holy Spirit will do rthe rest. Stay blessed.

  42. Haggai

    June 22, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    Surely, this is from a real father who is grounded in Christ Jesus

  43. Amaka A

    June 23, 2015 at 7:09 am

    Beautiful piece. Brought tears to my eyes. Tnk u sir nd God bless u for dis. Im sharing dis to family nd friends.

  44. MC DAY

    June 23, 2015 at 7:52 am

    That’s my Daddy, ”Persistence pays off in the long run” God bless u sir from MC DAY @mcdaylive

  45. Oyinlola

    June 23, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Truly beautiful and so on point! Very well said Pastor, this ministered to me as well. Thank you .

  46. jide okewole

    June 23, 2015 at 10:59 am

    Nice one Pastor Tony, good to see Tobe all grown up! Thanks for bein a blessing sir!!!

  47. Emmanuel ( @emmanscientist )

    June 23, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    Beautiful, this page was opened in my laptop for days, i’m happy i read it at last, Thank you pastor, had that feeling like you were referring to me as i read through. Grateful!!!

  48. BA

    June 23, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    This is so amazing! Wow! Please could you write to your daughters too? Might need to borrow a few lines for mine…*smile

  49. Miana

    June 23, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    Beautiful! That’s an apostle right there… word in Season! Relevant for these times … may more fathers arise to their roles and responsibilities of fatherhood (such as this,), in Jesus name… amen.

  50. Zeebs

    June 23, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Now, this is a stellar article!
    Would be great if someone transferred this to a scroll so it can be reproduced so many times.
    It is one of those timeless pieces like ‘the desiderata ‘ and all.

  51. Henri

    June 24, 2015 at 8:26 am

    In a world where we leabe the young ones to’find their own paths, this is truly refreshing!

  52. funlayo

    June 24, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Pastor Tony Rapu. God bless you. Refreshing letter

  53. lorna

    June 24, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    OMG!!!!! cant stop the tears from flowing…
    This boy is super lucky to have a father sooo deep, knows God and obviously adore and respect “FAMILY” reminds me of my dad.

    How we jump and play, admonishes and rebukes us when we go wrong. The daily morning prayers and the evening story telling of his childhood or folktales that always were so intriguing and interesting. He would laugh so hard at our silly jokes in our rooms, friends were always shocked at our friendly relationship and how close we were. 10 girls and 3 boys- 13 in all and, yes, from one mum n dad, lol 🙂 (football team & a reserve right?) people always made fun of that but we’ve always loved the number and all grown now and happy 🙂

    Always full of praise for mum, he would always remind us not to forget the statutes they taught us and to protect the family name”. before he died about 14 years ago, he called those of us around, blessed and prayed for us then as usual, said “please, forgive the fact that i do not have so much money piled up for you but i have made sure you all went to school. Make sure you work hard, graduate and use your knowledge to the best of your ability and earn an honest income for your families. In whatever you do, don’t forget God and your family name”

    He was the first to do a lot of things in his village (no need to mention them) and attracted so many state and national awards and honorariums including “Best family of the year,1989 in Benue state” honored by the then Governor after several screenings of the civil servants at that time. Judging from family morals, education, societal impact among others.

    Being an only child of his mother, born into a polygamous home, he passed through a lot and only started school when he was almost a teenager, yet he grew to become the best in almost everything he did and saw himself through school when both parents died leaving him at about 16years. He would tell us, “I HAVE PASSED THROUGH A WHOLE LOT, PLEASE, LEARN FROM MY STORIES SO YOU DON”T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES, BUT IF YOU DO, LEARN FROM IT GO ON WITH LIFE AND DON’T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN”

    I’m proud of my dad and as he wished, we have all gone to school,graduated, all married remaining one and pursuing our chosen careers. Though it might not be important to him where he is, hope we are making him proud where he is!

    Just cant stop the tears… I don’t know this man but judging from his letter, HE IS A GOOD MAN! I love the son’s deep laughter! lol
    May God keep you and help your children make you proud!

  54. lorna

    June 24, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    lol, so sorry for the epistle..couldn’t help pouring my heart out! actually feel better having done that..
    Pls, feel free to skip on by, i perfectly understand… lol.. Do have a lovely day all

    • tobi

      June 25, 2015 at 10:07 am

      the epistle was a great one…and refreshing…thanks for sharing…was inspired.

  55. stella

    June 24, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    What a nice piece. We will follow your advice pastor, thanks so much

  56. Zee

    June 24, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    Amazing piece, Pastor T! God bless you and all the great dads out there.

  57. tobi

    June 25, 2015 at 10:09 am

    Pastor T…has always been an inspiration to me…I’m not surprise at this piece… He is indeed a Father.

  58. Olamide

    June 25, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Woow! So deep!

  59. bolanle

    June 26, 2015 at 9:16 am

    Hmmn! Great mssg for a child of God. How many fathers can write dis wen dey barely ve time for deir children leaving parenting to d woman. Tank God for good fathers nd Godly mothers

  60. lawrence Ayansina

    June 27, 2015 at 8:37 am

    Thank you for those words, as a father I have a print for my Son, he is 5 months now. Blessed.

  61. chi

    July 11, 2015 at 8:05 am

    PT is such an inspiration…my husband has been a member of his church since university days and I must say my husband is such an awesome man and has grown to become a wonderful husband and father with such amazing character and a high level of integrity….Pastor Tony raising great men since 1700!!

  62. Zion

    July 16, 2015 at 5:35 am

    My eyes are filled with tears as i read this letter. My parents are still alive and healthy to the glory of God’s name. They did their best to raise us (8) all. They inculcated values, regardless of their own limitations, they tried to push us far enough, especially, my mum. But am in tears bcos I’m not sure I have done enough to make them proud or even show gratitude to them. I have lived some kind of life that I am not proud of and would not be delighted to see my own son live. I hope there’s still a chance to make amend. I pray God forgives me and helps me to live upto the expectation of my parents and touch their hearts to forgive me, should they already feel disappointed in me. But I’m definitely saving this letter, cos I intend to write this kind of a letter to my son someday and what that means is that I would have worked hard to show better example to my kids.
    Thank you Pastor Tony Rapu, for simply stating what should be the prototype of every well raised man.

  63. Oluwaseyi Gbadebo

    July 17, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    Point word! From a great Father figure to numerous youths. Thank you Pastor Tony, I’m blessed by it.

  64. Tee

    February 24, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    Came back to read this again. What a man! Thanks pastor.

  65. David

    February 24, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    This is still relevant.

  66. Taiwo

    February 24, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    I always knew there was something different about this pastor from the first time I watched him on youtube.

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