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Joro ‘Doktor Mofin’ Writes about How to Get Your Man to Propose in “Loving & Waiting”

BellaNaija.com

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JoroLagos socialite Joro Olumofin is out with a new write-up where he dishes on the 5 ways in which you can get your man to propose.

He writes:

“I’ve been dating Dapo for 3 years how do I get him to propose?”

Before I begin this article I’d like to give a basic definition of Psychology; which is the ability to study, prevent or predict a behavior or patterns of behaviors.

A lot of ladies today fall in this category which I refer to as “loving & waiting” this is a situation whereby a lady has emotionally and physically fallen for and chosen a man but is stuck or fed up with the status quo of uncertainty as a result of the man’s cold feet, love for the bachelor lifestyle and unwillingness to commit.

There are 5 approaches for dealing with “Loving and Waiting”: (1) Confrontation (2) Patience (3) Hints (4) Indirect Pressure (5) Elimination.

(1) Confrontation: This is a face to face sit-down or hard talk about the status of your relationship, future and potentials. Ladies take note that Confrontation should be done objectively i.e. absolutely without emotions or sentiment. This is for you to see and think clearly without you factoring his good sex, money, handsome features, family ties etc. Confrontation will give you a good idea of his mindset or cognition. Although a lot of ladies don’t feel comfortable about confrontation because it makes them look desperate or too needy, sometimes you should think of yourself rather than what people think

(2) Patience: This is a safe approach towards “Loving & Waiting” because there is no drama and sudden breakup like confrontation but Patience may not always turn out well because TIME and emotions are at stake and also some men don’t mind if u wait for 5 years they may still not step up.

(3) Hints: These are commonly used by some ladies who drop hints for their boyfriends in order for him to pick the hint and act on it or even make a comment. For example: ‘I wish I could wake up beside u every day’, ‘fatherhood will look good on you’, ‘you’re the last person I want to have sex with’, ‘our children will be so hot’, ‘your surname fits my name so bad’.. Men react in different ways to hints as personalities differ but any man who continuously ignores or has deaf ears to hints isn’t on the same page with you

(4) Indirect Pressure: Most men have that one person who they hold in high regard or esteem most times could be a family member; mom, dad, sister,  aunt – these people sometimes could serve as a bridge and sway him in the right direction.

(5) Elimination: Some ladies have been in or are currently in relationships for more than 4 years and they still don’t know what their man is going to do or what the plan is. Sometimes the best approach is elimination because men feel comfortable, take you for granted when they believe they have you 100% so if you leave or breakup with him he may realize what he misses and comeback or better still if he doesn’t it gives you an opportunity to move on with your life and not waste time.

I once wrote an article about saying no to “long courtships” because they don’t end well sometimes and people get emotionally scared and attached to a person for years without being able to leave or move on. The reason for me defining Psychology at the beginning of this article is that we should all be able to “study, prevent and predict” behaviors of our lovers, partners, husbands etc. based on their traits and personality through observation.

In my opinion after 1 or 2 years an evaluation should be done regarding the path of the relationship, no relationship should lead to 4 or 5 years without commitment.

Lastly, society and the people are not ready for women to take charge of their relationships i.e. women can’t propose to their lovers but all they can do is wait, and the women who have been bold enough to propose have been stereotyped and culturally crucified.

#DoktorMofin

Photo Credit: Instagram/joroolumofin

39 Comments

  1. ssah

    June 1, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    you have come again o Mr Morfin

  2. Ocean Beauty

    June 1, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    have you proposed to your girlfriend? I’m sure she has done one or more of this your tips???? There’s more to life that marriage Dr-help-the-ladies-get-married.

  3. Gistyinka Blog

    June 1, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    Nice one baba Doktor Mofin, but i don’t think ladies of today can go for that No.2 ( Patience ).

  4. Grown Woman

    June 1, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Good advise…. i think it’s best to discuss the status of your rship as soon as possible so as not to have expectations which most time turn to dissapointments.

  5. Devina

    June 1, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    My Opinion? This guy should take several seats abeg!!!! If you list all these and you are still single, then I sugeest your girlfriend ( that is if you even have one) dumps your sorry ass and move on to the next…

    Stop feeling like you knw women too much to have a say in anything that has to do with us…… Geeez!!! I have had enough of your advices biko…. Hian

    • babym

      June 1, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      my dear what u have written is just misplaced anger. The guy made good sense, but some of u r so caught up in this ‘advice given to women drama’ that even when very good advice comes u shun it lol.

    • Sonya

      June 1, 2015 at 3:04 pm

      @Devina, what exactly are you upset about? I believe he’s entitled to propose his opinions and as a studied psychologist, he’s offering advice in layman terms on naija’s marriage epidemic. if you don’t like it or like him, there’s no need to discredit the validity for some of his points.

      For the Dok, very well written, clear and straight to the point. There are a few generalizations here but I see the picture you’re trying to paint. I believe #1 (confrontation) is the best way forward. The fact that 2 people have been together for a few years, all the hints and indirect pressures should have already happened after year 1. Beyond that point, the 2 adults; if they have any life plans, should lay out their expectations in a very direct & objective manner.

  6. l

    June 1, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    let me bring my popcorn and my 3d glasses before i forget….

  7. zeee

    June 1, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Jesus take the wheel!

  8. bruno

    June 1, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    some of the advices are good while some are horrible example

    HINTS. I hate people who drop hints for me. if u want me to do some thing for u just say it, instead of leaving clues here and there. I hate when i have to crack my brain and process what you really mean.

    pls give it to ur partner straight no mago mago. dont say something or do something that means another thing.

    indirect pressure-Oh My God!!!!! pls don’t do that. do go about asking the guy’s mother or father to force their son to propose to you. its desperate and tacky and will make u look silly and desperate.
    never force anything in a relationship it will only end in disaster.

    nigerian society is ready for women to start proposing to men, but most nigerian women don’t have the balls.

    • Kee

      June 2, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      Isn’t it obvious darling, ‘women haven’t grown balls yet…still waiting though’

  9. janeth

    June 1, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    this Oga again……ok o

  10. nira

    June 1, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    Doctor mofin or whatever you call yourself, please take several seats….smh

  11. Zaira

    June 1, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    This guys 5 minutes of fame fast becoming 3 months of agony

  12. Jvmoke

    June 1, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    The title and the body of this epistle doesn’t gell.

    ‘How to get your man to propose’ should contain practical, tried and tested tips on getting a man to propose to a woman.. Not ‘Possible Decisions To Make Before Dating Gets Prolonged’.

    Edit the title.

  13. Coco

    June 1, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    I can’t take advice from a funny dressed man. Wtf is you wearing sir? Go & sit down jare.

    Why can’t you motherfkrs offer relationship advice to Nigerian men instead. Nigerian women live to be wives while the men live to cheat. Advice these Nigerian men that being faithful to their partners, which is uncommon, is healthy (body, mentally, financial, work & family life). Running from one pum pum to another takes a toll on your body & finances…some men end up looking like spoiled cabbage because that shit can be stressful. You’re afraid of getting diseases & extra babies. Life becomes harder because you’re spending more than you should.

  14. Felinda

    June 1, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    mutherfcker shut up. Some of you men think all women do is sit and wish to be proposed to.. You are fool ( i mean full) of yourself.. I hate Conceited Idiots who think they are Gods gift to women.

    • babym

      June 1, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      Hiaann, na wa o. abeg make I help u pour cold water for ur body b4 u explode hehehehe.

  15. Disguised

    June 1, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Men men men!! How many times I call? Ok an

    For the first time I agree with Mr Bruno.

    Why must the woman drop hint? Can’t the guy drop hint? Why must relationship pressure of marriage be on a woman?

    Why can’t he go to my family n friends n indirectly ask them if I’m feeling him like that?

    Why why why????

    Ladies please if rue dating anyone and 6months don pass and Ina still dey nack dey go an u Sabi. Unless you just want to play then relax there n play on.

    Ladies should wise up mehn. This men are wicked. Very once u relax he will bring u popcorn sef n coke and relax well well with you.

    Know when it’s time to leave and when to stay. Don’t bring in emotions lia lia. Cos when they will show u eh ha they don’t look back oo. Atall

    Been that woman that scarified everything and got nada (fool came back begging cos he couldn’t believe I could leave) But well settled now with number 2 on the way.

    No man can make u happy. Na only God oo

    • ACE

      June 1, 2015 at 4:01 pm

      Tell them jare… Well spoken

  16. Chinma Eke

    June 1, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    Hi ‘Doktormofin’; first time on your page, actually clicked on it because of the definition of Psychology I saw on BN front page. Please its always ‘Predict before Prevent’ in any accurate Psychology definition. It might look like it isn’t a big deal, or just a placement of words, but it is. That definition could just ruin the relevance of all else that follows, it could point to placing the horse before the cart.

  17. babym

    June 1, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Very True. B4 u guys chew this guy raw and go into the whole why are they always advising women, please take a moment to actually read the message.

    On that note I have a friend who has been dating this goat for a whooping 12 years! since secondary school. Till tomorrow the guy is still giving excuses why he cannot commit but he still does not want her to date anybody else. When she tries to break up he will cry and beg but will still make no commitment. And he knows my friend wants to get married and what not. Now if that is not wickedness I don’t know what is. If he loves her so much, why cant he let her go so that she can be happy and move on to do what she wants.

    My friend on the other hand na another story! why she will not leave the boy is another story! I guess its because that’s the only boyfriend she has even had and she feels scared to start over. I think its time for me to take her to mountain of fire let them break every chain. Tufiakwa.

    • disguised

      June 1, 2015 at 3:16 pm

      Sooooooo sad. 12 years. Is she ok??

    • ednutey

      June 1, 2015 at 4:31 pm

      one really needs to be sure she doesn’t need doktor muffin…Lol

  18. Aj

    June 1, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    Here we go again another article on how to get a man to do something……there is more to life than all of this, Jesus is coming soon lol. But seriously more about pleasing God and less about pleasing men, maybe then these issues won’t arise. we have misplaced priorities.

  19. Isabella

    June 1, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    All these babes are forming feminists when they don’t even know what exactly it is to be feminist. Aj, felinda, coco,Nora, zaira, devina, ocean beauty…., all of you are just bitter. You are in dire need of men in your lives and that’s why you are so bitter and pained. Anyway God will do it for you. Amen. I’m sure some of you are secretly wanting the Doktor Mofin guy sef.

    • Aj

      June 1, 2015 at 8:31 pm

      Feminist? No, God pleaser yes!!

    • Mabel

      June 2, 2015 at 5:33 am

      @Isabella..What are they so bitter about, and why are you such a male identified woman? They made valid points, it gets tiring after a while for all relationship advice to be directed at women? If you live in this world and you do not know what women are up against everyday all over the globe then you will be forever lost. The women who are rebutting his advice know why they are rebutting, not because they are bitter, but because this man has never lived as a woman one day in his life, he does not know the sexual harassment we face from childhood, then in the workplace and on transit, then being the workhorse for the family, being taken advantage of by husbands and being traded in for a newer model when age starts to set in. Now we have to work to get a ring so that we can be validated as women. They realize his advice is coming from his male privilege so much so that he can wear that hideous jacket and still take himself serious..mtschew.

  20. yinkus

    June 1, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    you know! Dude needs to get a life, don’t know why BN keeps publishing him, and his outfits are zoo bad

  21. Temmy

    June 1, 2015 at 5:56 pm

    I agree with Bruno, both men and women should be able to propose, but do the ladies have the balls to do that? Micheal Jai White got proposed to and He is married to the proposer (I’m not sure those words are properly aligned though).
    Anyway about Dr. Muffins , I heard someone calling him “Tiger Generator” the other day,
    I’ll keep calling him muffins, they go well with hot chocolate.

  22. Supported

    June 1, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    @isabella,you forgot to add idoma girl….

  23. Drknite

    June 1, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    He forgot tip #5. the fake pregnancy.

  24. maya

    June 1, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    please., just because you studied psychology, does not mean you are a psychologist, just the same way, if you studied law you are not automatically a lawyer. His advice might make sense but there is a difference between someone who is professionally trained with experience to address an issue than someone who has just taken it upon himself to discuss something that he is evidently not equipped to discuss. first of all, if he were a relationship expert, there would a general focus on both sexes i.e. male and female and women would not be made to be some simple objects whose sole purpose is to achieve marred status. Women are a lot more complex than all this nonsense reductions we get in the Nigerian media. Even within relationships, we might share similar traits, but there are many peculiarities that exist within us, so please, enough with all this advise we are getting from people, who seem are self proclaimed experts. P.S, on another note, to be called a chef, you either have to go to culinary school or train under an a qualified chef.. Enough with the room temperature ogi/custard and moin moin business. I understand believing in yourself however, this our self-proclamation is becoming rridiculous

  25. Zsa Zsa

    June 1, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    I disagree with dropping “hints” and “indirect pressure”. If the MAN does not know what he wants then its better to walk away.

    Im not sure i understand this idea of women waiting around just to be proposed to. Shouldn’t it be a mutual thing? something you BOTH feel? I don’t understand how a woman would be expecting a proposal while the man is no where near proposing. It simply means you are not on the same page.
    Many years ago, an ex boyfriend asked me where i saw us at the end of that year. I told him i want sure. I was honest. We were arguing a lot, he didn’t have a steady job and could barely pay his own bills. He of course was floored by my response, he expected me to be excited about him bringing up the possibility of marriage but i wasn’t. In fact i was scared. We were trying to work on the relationship but i was NOT waiting to be proposed to. Fortunately we parted ways.
    Please stop putting this idea out there that once a lady is dating a guy she has to sit tight and wait to be proposed to…like a car waiting to be bought. Its okay if the relationship doesn’t end up in marriage…the woman can also decide the relationship is not working for her and break up with him.
    I wouldn’t want my little sisters or my daughters reasoning this way.

    • Kee

      June 2, 2015 at 12:46 pm

      Spot on Zsa Zsa, I’m on the verge of killing it off with my current boyfriend of almost a year. Reason is I don’t see us in the happily-ever frame, all we seem to do these days is bicker, so no need wasting time… Don’t ever flog that horse, if it’s dead.

  26. Silly

    June 1, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    @bellanaija,Pls upload video of unprofessional journalism Of how Mugabe was harassed and disgraced in Abuja by a Sahara tv reporter.

  27. Peyton

    June 1, 2015 at 10:16 pm

    So. Women will learn how to please the man and then get hints on how to get him to propose?? Then what the heck d0 men do?? Look like zombies waiting for clues from women?? If a man wants to marry you he will do that because he has made that choice same way a woman accepts because she wants to marry him. I have nothing against the writer but broderly please can you write articles geared towards men. Like how to be a responsible man, how to say no to side chics how to treat your woman with respect. And finally how to keep your thing in your pants whilst dating and whilst married.

  28. bim

    June 2, 2015 at 12:16 am

    I don’t believe in this whole nonsense of forcing directly or indirectly (manipulating, call a spade a spade) anyone to do anything, particularly if you plan on forming a long term relationship with a person. I feel like if it doesn’t come to the person’s mind naturally to see you as someone they want to marry they never will and forcing them I think it will be something that will be held over your head if in the future. For instance, you guys have an argument from nowhere you’ll hear “Is it me that said we should marry ?” or some variation of that. Stop forcing things to be what they aren’t. and probably will never be. Alternatively when you guys initially start dating put it on the table that your end goal with relationships is marriage not specifically with him but with anyone you’re in a relationship with.

  29. cleo

    June 2, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    A Decade and 2 years! A dozen years!! 12 years!!!
    Your friend has not oppened up to you about the truth.
    These are some probable scenarios.
    1. they did blood covenant
    2. She has committed plenty abortions and has lost her womb in the process, hence she is afraid of taking the burden to another man.
    3. She has committed abortions and the man is not sure if hshe would be able to give him hairs.
    4. SHe has low self esteem.
    5. She is foolish.
    6. She is afraid to start over.

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