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Ali Baba Wants to Know Who is More Eligible between a Woman that Works and another Who Doesn’t!

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

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Ali Baba

Comedian Ali Baba shared an interesting experience on Instagram a couple of minutes ago.

According to him, in the past week he has met two ladies – one who is working and another who isn’t – and he shares how people reacted to these two women in very different ways.

Read his post below.

So yesterday, I learnt somethings from two very beautiful ladies.

One of them was of the opinion that she is beautiful enough to be sought after by any man. She, I must admit, is proportionately sexy. Everything in the right place, plus some extra quantity. She was at some place I went to see the big man she was there to see too. Saw her taking selfies as she waited. She had come in a chauffeured Lexus RX. Adorning and carrying a lot of expensive things. So, when she realized who I was, we took a picture and as we gisted, I asked what she did for a living. As in where does she work.

She replied she doesn’t work for now there are no jobs. And everything is man know man. And asked what does it matter. “Ali be honest, ‘all the whole’ girls marrying big boys in lagos are they all working?” In her view, any man that wants a lady who is working before he will decide to marry her is a gold digger. I am not looking for that kind of guy. Men buy houses for babes in this Lagos. Mine won’t be different. Wetin those girl get wey I no get?” (paraphrasing)…

Fast forward to another meeting yesterday. Met another lady, she is in charge of planning a 70th birthday. Not the event planner, but she heads the committee. Badagry girl. 7 digit salary, lawyer, MBA, beauty pageant pretty, no extras, C-cup things, no hips, real hair, well dressed, obviously a cultivated taste, well spoken, well read and seemed independent. After our meeting, the event planner, a lady, said she was too full of herself.

Then one of the guys in the meeting had reservations about how she was too forward and too opinionated. Told him of the other lady and asked, which of the 2 ladies I encountered, who would he marry.

His reply, “Who wan marry this over Sabi?” (But maybe it’s because she cut his 2.6m quote to 1.4m and while he was still haggling, she called someone, put him on speaker, he agreed to do his job for 1.2m).

So I ask again. A woman who is working and a woman who is not, who is more eligible?

PS: I apologize for the details of this write up. I have gotten calls from the parties involved. But I think unless they talk no one knows who I talked about. But all said I mean well. Pardon my post.

What are your thoughts?

Adesola is a BellaNaija editor and Voltron. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com.She's a lover of gist, novels, music and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media.To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @ThisConnectd

58 Comments

  1. royalty

    October 8, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    In my own opinion i think the second girl would work for me… fine she is proud and full of herself , “so they said” . reason being that she is doing her own thing, Independence is the new sexy. she dosent have to wait for a man to come sort her out in everything. she got a job that keeps her busy and going, she is not idle minded, she is doing her own hustle.Guys might feel intimidated but it is what it is, she got a damn JOB and making those coins and smiling to the bank. i just feel a lady has to be able to stand on her own being it single or married, at the end of the day it all makes sense that a lady dosent have to depend on a man to literally buy some toiletries for her or even buy some pampers…. is not rocket science

  2. Mystique

    October 8, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    i have a lot to say but cant be bothered to type cos this issue has been over-flogged. Let me relax and read people’s differing opinions. Might learn something.

    • fabulicious

      October 8, 2015 at 7:51 pm

      As in ehhhhh, Just soaking Ali Baba’s cane inside kerosene .He has set fight and shifted waiting for women to tear each other where we will judge who is better than who all in the name of waiting for people’s opinion.

  3. Personal Signature

    October 8, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    1. There should be no general categorization of ladies into those who work and those who don’t work.
    a. There are ladies who work that are very saucy and there are those who are humble.
    b. There are ladies who ain’t working that are badoos (in olamide’s voice) and others who are good.
    No generalizations!

    2. For the first lady to think “any man that wants a lady who is working before he will decide to marry her is a gold digger” shows how wacked her mentality is. This literally means any girl who is looking for a man with a good job is a gold digger. What is good for the goose is good for the gander!

    3. Forget it BNers, there can never be anything like gender equality you all fight for and cry about here. if a fellow lady still thinks along this line “Men buy houses for babes in this Lagos. Mine won’t be different. Wetin those girl get wey I no get?” It shows that some who do anything, or sell their bodies to get a man to buy houses for them.

    4. It is an utter disrespect to your person, dignity and existence to think that a man has to do everything for you. To think you can’t be a CEO, Governor or MD but must look for someone who is one to elevate your life is a disaster. Many women have done it, you can do it. You went to school and university the same way a man did, what stops you from attaining the height a man can attain or possess what a man possesses.?

    5. For the 2nd lady, many ladies have not grown and matured passed the level of separating job functions/role from emotions. I have seen the side of the working ones that are saucy and full of themselves. Cos you are the CEO or Boss as a lady does not mean you should talk to anyone anyhow.

    Go to offices and see the way some of these people do. Lash subordinates, send them on personal errands, lambaste them, insult them and what have you. What you have, where you are and position you occupy shouldn’t get into your head. We are humans first before any other thing. Many are not approachable. They think any guy coming to them is coming as a result of what they have. Whether you have or not, wont guys come woo you again?

    6. Personally, i wouldn’t marry neither of the two, they are not fit. There are better ladies out there who combine both in themselves. They have everything going on for them and they are humble.

    7. Kudos to all of you babes that got everything in you. You have a good job, you are pretty, you got brains and you are humble. These kind of babes, they are priceless and above rubies!

    • Nahum

      October 8, 2015 at 4:01 pm

      Why must a woman be a mumu just to prove she is humble? When men are authoritative in the workplace, do we accuse them of being arrogant? Do we demand humility in men? If she is a boss and she does her job effectively, then who cares about her humility? Is the workplace the right venue to be toasting her or befriending her? You sef no get work? Leave this weak argument jare.

    • CONGLOMERATE

      October 8, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      Your excuses are weak, wack, atrocious, saddening and bland. There’s nothing sexy or nice about arrogance, be it at work place or elsewhere…. for both male and female.

    • jymco

      October 8, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      Humility is a virtue….it’s for the poor and rich, boss & subordinates alike to possess. “Wisdom is profitable to direct”.

    • nnenne

      October 8, 2015 at 10:36 pm

      Thanks Nahum.
      By humility, he/she wants a boss, hustler, independent, but subservient woman all into one.
      She has to rise up early morning go to work to bring the money home and at the same time be seen and not heard, come home to serve her boss husband. Nonsense!
      Decide what you want. ..a confident, educated, goal – getter, life PARTNER or a dependent subservient, second class citizen wife.
      You can not have both. Women deserve better!

    • my take

      October 9, 2015 at 12:58 pm

      please, there is a clear cut difference between being humble and being a mumu

    • Busola Adedire

      Oluwabusola Adedire

      October 8, 2015 at 4:44 pm

      Your opinions are solid! @ the topic, I think it is unfair to keep putting women in boxes. The first need of every human being is to be seen- really seen… at the core of who they are. But there is division amongst women (mostly based off beauty and career choices). The only yardstick for judgement should be the core of individuality. Are they actually a ‘decent human being’ (based on your judgement on what counts as decency. If you find all these qualities in a babe without a job, it is fine! Though, I would be sceptical over someone who is comfortable being idle (at least take active steps- learn a skill, trade /entrepreneurship/ keep applying for jobs even if you get rejected). It is not fair to allow a man take total responsibility of your needs.. Every grown person should learn how to look after themselves. Tbh, who doesn’t like free money? Some of us could also choose being a housewife in a heartbeat too… but I find it awkward feeling entitled to someone else’s money.

    • red

      October 9, 2015 at 2:52 pm

      Busola, wa gbayii!!

    • red

      October 9, 2015 at 2:50 pm

      veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery good. a gazillion likes for your comment… though for the 2nd lady, i think her being full of herself is just the opinion of intimidated men. i agree that some boss-women can be saucy but in this case, we are not so sure. bcs she stood for herself and gave her opinion..so she’s become opinionated. lol. many men can’t differentiate btw a confident lady and a proud one. they seem alike to them.
      but sha o, i agree with all you’ve said totally.
      chop kiss**

    • Isigold

      October 9, 2015 at 8:23 pm

      You didn’t mention that they have God and that’s all what it takes to be hard-working,, in high positions and still have respect for subordinates and still be humble. Just to add to what you have written

    • Bo

      October 9, 2015 at 11:11 pm

      Omo wagbayi….

    • Larz

      October 9, 2015 at 11:12 pm

      I agree with everything apart from your classification of the second lady. Alibaba actually held her in high regards it seems. If you asked me, the guy wasn’t happy with the outcome of their haggling. He prbly feels upset a girl bested him. She sounds like a girl who knows what she wants. As the client, she has to be happy with the whole package. Prices and all

  4. Dunni

    October 8, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    It depends on what you’re looking for. Personally I think the woman that is working is more eligible, but different strokes for different folks. If the career woman was working for the guy that wanted to charge 2.6 m and she saved him 1.4 m then he might be singing a different tune.

    It’s unfortunate that some people (both men and women) are intimidated by hardworking career women but if they’re intimidated so easily then good riddance 😉 one man’s poison is another man’s meat (yes I reversed it on purpose)

    • Dunni

      October 8, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      I’d like to add that just because the career lady is “over-sabi” while carrying out her job doesn’t mean she’s like that in a relationship. Also, perhaps the man was rude and condescending while interacting with her so she felt the need to be assertive with him.

  5. IconTola

    October 8, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    I won’t be surprised if our brothers prefer the girl who is not working, someone like that won’t hurt their fragile ego,with her ‘oversabiness’…but am a woman what do I know

    • Ross

      October 9, 2015 at 4:40 pm

      My dear, in my experience, Nigerian men like the one who isn’t working. Since the man is her livelyhood, she will ‘take care’ of him as an investment. Our men however interpret this as love and would rather her, since her wahala is less and with such women, these men are not forced to exert themselves to their full potential.

  6. alwayshappy

    October 8, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Neither of them, as employment status is not a past, present or future indicator of marriage material nor a criteria for selecting OR not selecting a spouse. IMHB (in my humble opinion)

    • Tari

      October 8, 2015 at 5:23 pm

      Gbam!!

    • jennietobbie

      October 8, 2015 at 10:43 pm

      Ossshhheeeee. Mehnnn…(un)employment has been added to the “marriageable” traits. Nsogbu di ooo.

    • Larz

      October 9, 2015 at 11:16 pm

      True but the first lady has a small prb IMO, she acts like she is entitled just for being.
      It is ppllike that that will tell you to mortgage your house so she can have a happening house like her friends. I dont think her lack of job is an issue

  7. nameoh

    October 8, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    There’s something unique and attractive about a woman who wants you but doesn’t need you to do anything for her. A lady who has her own and calls the shots. Only an insecure man would say “who wan marry oversabi?”. Again, there’s something sexy about a lady that can think for herself and stands for what she believes in.

  8. T

    October 8, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    The girl that’s not working and feels a man should meet all her needs, just because she sees some girls been spoilt silly by some ‘big men’…well, in my opinion, she comes across to me as a shallow minded person with no [email protected], there are women who don’t have jobs but are still looking and are not waiting for men to meet their needs, if you are in a relationship and your man is taking care of you and vice versa, it’s a different thing…For the other lady that’s working and she comes across as been opinionated, 1st of all, its from one man’s view and it can be a biased one, like you said it might be because the lady cut his quote, so I can’t really say, but I don’t see anything wrong in been opinionated, it simply means you have your own decision or opinion on an issue, so I don’t see anything wrong in that.
    On the issue of who is more eligible between the two… we cant judge that from just their work status, but according to this post, if I’m to pick, I will definitely pick the lady that’s working over the one that’s not working ‘IN THIS POST’ not in everyday scenario, because there are women who don’t have jobs but are still looking and not running after men for money.

  9. Idealist

    October 8, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    And so I pose this question to you kind sir, who would you rather your daughter be? Strong, independent, powerful or otherwise. Ladies you can be all you want and a bag of chips! You can be powerful and raise a family. Both events are not mutually exclusive.

  10. judy

    October 8, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Obviously the girl without a job has no wisdom and the man intimidated by the career woman has no wisdom and is an insecure soul. God forbid I marry such a husband or that my younger brother marries such a wife.

  11. becks

    October 8, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    Honestly a lady that has a job reasons far better than a lady that doesn’t she can manage a home very well and knows the value of money.any man that says he doesnt want a lady that has a job is a week man scared of a ladies success. she dey do sabi sabi becus she sabi.the 2nd lady stands out to me any time any day.I think the 2nd lady is a replica of me but with hips lmao

  12. Ocean Beauty

    October 8, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    In my opinion, they are both working. Except one of the ladies does not have a regular job per say. Her job entails meeting mens’ “needs” and she gets paid for it.
    Every topic these days is linked to marriage. Even food topics still has marriage linked to it. (Kemi’s food vlog)
    We wey never marry go soon nack head for wall.

    • tolulope

      October 8, 2015 at 9:17 pm

      Hehehehehe! Very funny! I tire o!

    • Adeola a

      October 12, 2015 at 12:57 am

      lmao

  13. AB

    October 8, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    Personally, None! I get it with educated, independent women, at some point most not ALL o become full of themselves (whether intentional or not, but they do become that at some point) and for an African man that might be too much to handle. Are there men out there who can handle such women ofcourse yes but maybe a border line Nigerian and western bred kind of man. As for the lady who does not work, firstly, I do not have a problem with that but no be me talk am o ‘An idle man or woman is the devil’s workshop’ working and getting busy gives one a sense of fulfilment and I suppose purpose. If you also as a man look at it from a proverbs 31 woman point of view then again this type of a woman is a No no really. Does that make her a bad catch? No ofcourse, the type of man who loves a trophy, cant be bothered to work, I will rather just chill & spend the hubs money will come get her(keep waiting hunny, dem plenty)!…I want to believe that most balanced men and by that I mean those that like things in moderation will pick neither of these women… They will rather trust God for a woman who is well balanced out….have your hustle, but keep an eye out for your husband and family, even when you become very successful, dont have a condescending, aggressive attitude neither towards your husband nor others…just be classy, level headed and most of all humble….! I guess if you have all these and then is beautiful as in physically etc, then to that man and again I believe to most men you will be referred to as the ‘best catch’!

    • Nahum

      October 8, 2015 at 4:06 pm

      They become full of themselves because the have gone against every obstacle society has put in their way to rise and be successful. They deserve their arrogance because they have earned that right. A woman should not become a fool just to get a man to marry her. And people who think like you are not worthy to be in her presence.

    • George

      October 9, 2015 at 5:03 pm

      Nahumu, pele o.

  14. Edu

    October 8, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    lol! funny stuff. Well, the working woman has to be more Eligible but at the end of the day it boils down to having the right attitude.

  15. Whocares

    October 8, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    Olodo ni bobo yi sha ( this man is an olodo?) the crux of the matter is not the job or lack of one. The crux of the matter is the personality of the ladies in question. Lots of ladies have jobs and are not perceived as oversabi. Although, the lady with the job here is a BOSS and people feel inferior in her presence. That is on them, it has nothing to do with her. Their profession or not is not the issue here but their personalities and attitude to life.. so “ehh” wrong question. Frankly speaking, WHO GIVES A SHIT! if you like go for woman that has no job but wants a house and lexus, or go for another with a job, and who takes no prisoners.. That is up to individuals. Women are not fruits to be selected in the market. We have a choice in the matter too you know. Women this, women that , which is better which isnt.. GOMD (or in this case GOOV).. pfft. I am too hangry (hungry+angry) for this.

    • Tosin

      October 8, 2015 at 6:26 pm

      let me help you with the G.O.M.D. analogy
      “you can not police me so get off my areola” – Janelle Monae
      areolae.
      just as long as you get off :-/
      but you can still say get off my d sha. because, whatever.

  16. Thatgidigirl

    October 8, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    First of all “Ali” that first story sounds quite bogus? . Did the lady drive that Lexus into the waiting area where she was taking selfies or you just happened to be standing by the door/ window when she drove into the “yard”? Furthermore no sane lady starts talking about how she wants to dig her fangs into a man to milk him, especially not to a “celebrity stranger”…….even the president of global gold diggers association or karishika wouldn’t do that.
    To answer your question, people should strive to be the kind of person they want to marry period! If you want a wealthy man/ woman try creating your own wealth first. The shallow ones meet their kind and the sensible a ones attract their kind also. The man from the meeting would prolly end up with the Lexus girl and a man with some sense in his head would end up with the sensible young lady from the meeting.

    • whocares

      October 8, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      oh gods its not just me. I bin dey tink say this ‘tory get as e be. “c-cup”, “seven digit” and all those details, You know he could have just seen two ladies. One aristo, one professional and just invented the rest o. Not that its a crime anyways, its to make the gist sweet.

  17. iyke

    October 8, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    That awkward moment when a man says he will marry a 7 digit salaried, MBA, beauty pageant pretty, no extras, C-cup things, no hips, real hair, well dressed, obviously a cultivated taste, well spoken, well read,best cook ever and seemed independent YET be f-king the proportionately sexy non working class lady with big hips and boobs.
    What does that tell you? Simply, most men are confused and care only about BOOBS AND ARSE…lol
    Now on a serious note,we alone are responsible for having the relationship/marriage that we want. ……Living our TRUTH by taking a dose of enlightened audacity to dig deep into ourselves while maintaining our connections will help. Otherwise, if we fail to plumb ourselves and speak up for our deepest needs,relationships/marriages will never feel authentic, as we will never see ourselves with any clarity, hence why almost everyone will always be the wrong partner.

    • Iris

      October 8, 2015 at 5:51 pm

      Paragraph one is everything.

  18. Tommyray

    October 8, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    na, i don’t like an independent woman, she’ll become too powerful. and its just too dicey to put a woman in a position of power/control

  19. Suwa

    October 8, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    Plenty hugs for you Iyke

  20. ElessarisEllendil

    October 8, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    Hmm on one hand we have Miss extra quantity whose extra is going to need some propping up in say about 20 years and the other we have Miss financially prudent 7 digit salary, Personally being a tad bit tight-fisted, its a no-brainer for me, but opinions differ.

  21. tolulope

    October 8, 2015 at 9:33 pm

    Okay, so I might be going way off point…. I work. I mean, I have a job, it’s not the best paying job, but it’s fine. I can take care of myself, I even get to buy a Lil extra for family and friends, and spoil myself with cakes and ice cream (my two most recent obsessions) to avoid wallowing in self-pity over not having a boyfriend -ok, that’s crazy, I know. I also have a Masters and i’m thinking of a PHD soon. Guess that makes me independent, right? I’m not looking for some man to come feed me. But then again, I do want a boyfriend. Wait, hang on, lemme say it the way I say it when I look at my phone that stares back at me, not ringing, I WANT a frigging boyfriend!!!!! Why’s it so hard?

    • Unique

      October 9, 2015 at 8:22 am

      Lol, your comment is hilarious. Dont worry, they will comr. Just keep doing you, while having a bf is good, it is not all that. Just keep achieving
      Btw we are both in the same boat, lolz

    • Koffie

      October 9, 2015 at 11:44 am

      This is the same thing I say every time I stare at my phone not ringing and I mentally scream the same words every time my phone rings and wait for it, it’s 4500 (MTN) calling me. Urrghh… I’m not looking to be a ‘kept woman’ neither am I earning my big bucks yet but I frigging want a boyfriend too!

    • Edu

      October 9, 2015 at 1:16 pm

      lol! love your honesty. some gals will be forming miss independent and refuse to tell themselves the truth. I think gals play hard to get a lot. I mean, whats wrong with a nice guy walking up to you and asking for your number and u be forming “Noooo”. truth is it cant always be like the movies and it doesnt make u a lesser person

  22. Paul Babalola

    October 8, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    Ali Baba illustration is hilarious. The answer is this, if am earning 5 million naira per month working in Chevron, I will never go for that successful lady, never. As an African man, my money is of no significance in my household since my wife is overly successful. The chances of having squabble with the rich lady will be very high arguing using an African context. If am even less successful say earning 250k per month, I won’t still go for that lady in the pure African context. Generally, African men are intimidated by a woman success including me, it is not inferiority complex, the society has wired it into our brain to be the head of our family in terms of provision of material and emotional needs. The Yoruba women will say “Olowo ori mi”. Where a woman doesn’t need ur money, it diminishes your manhood sort of, again arguing from the African context. In the Western world, its a different ball game entirely, I live in the uk and the mentality is completely opposite. Am a Nigerian and personally, I love to marry a woman that may still spend my money, it gives a man joy providing the needs of ur wife.

    • Busola Adedire

      Oluwabusola Adedire

      October 9, 2015 at 5:50 am

      Eziokwu!!!??. You have not spoken for all African men though… The last time I checked, Chimamanda’s husband is Nigerian so also is Folusho Alakija’s.

    • Tkum

      October 9, 2015 at 1:47 pm

      loool baddest reply

    • Hian

      October 9, 2015 at 1:43 pm

      Thank you for sharing. I really hope our men will really dig deep and understand that their worth is not in their pockets. A provider is fine but today provider has a different definition. More important than money even, this is where our men failed in the past and continue to fail. They throw money at the family but do not lead or become priests of the home. How is it that a woman can’t fill your shoes when you feel it is just by how much of your money she can spend.

    • Larz

      October 9, 2015 at 11:26 pm

      Mr Babalola- there is joy to be derived in being the boss of the house. But there is even greater joy to be derived in having a partner. I have seen boss men and I have seen men that are leaders who r in partnership with their wives. The latter enjoy marriage overtime. The former will find it overwhelming after a while and will start acting out in no time thru one form of abuse or the other.

    • ola

      October 17, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      i think you are just so backward despite your claim of residing in UK

  23. Mabel

    October 8, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    Personally, as a woman, I like to have my own isht. I have lived long enough and seen enough to know that when you have no money of your own you are in a precarious situation as a woman. I don’t care how every man feels, only the one I am with and for me, I must have my own money. I understand women who choose to stay home when the children are young to dedicate time to raising them properly and developing future productive citizens, I applaud that wholeheartedly, but just to sit at home with no child to rear is not my idea of life. Then a man kicks you out and waltz in the next woman when he is ready to upgrade you for a fancy newer model and you have nothing of your own except two bags at your hand going back home to your parents. Worse, you hate his guts for whatever reason and can’t leave because you need the financial support to survive, but have to face him daily..hell. Nopes, no way.

  24. Koffie

    October 9, 2015 at 11:44 am

    This is the same thing I say every time I stare at my phone not ringing and I mentally scream the same words every time my phone rings and wait for it, it’s 4500 (MTN) calling me. Urrghh… I’m not looking to be a ‘kept woman’ neither am I earning my big bucks yet but I frigging want a boyfriend too!

  25. princevinco

    October 9, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    I think that the main consideration should be which of the two loves you more and you equally love?. If you happen to marry a lady because she is working who didn’t love you, you may die before your time of heart because she will so deal with you that you may regret.

    I have seen ladies who secured work after their marriage. Also, there are men who testify that what they were doing took a positive turnaround after their marriage through their unemployed wife. I have equally seen a man whose unemployed wife brought a business link and connection that made him a multi-millionaire. So what is required in making a choice of who to marry is that GOD should give you a lady that is meant for you.

  26. beautiful

    October 11, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    U are a genius. I liked d fact dat u ended it with proverbs 31 woman. If I were to be a man I won’t pick either of the two. I said it all personal signature. I hope most women dat has seen dis write up, would change their mentality n act accordingly. It is well. Thank u. I learnt a lot.

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