Have you ever been around someone who fishes around for compliments? They just desperately seek approval and commendation. And, it could get really unnerving when they go to any length to get this approval- gossiping, backstabbing, betrayals, etc.
I’m certain no parent wants to raise kids who will grow up to become approval seeking addicts. Yet, if we fail to properly validate our kids, we just might be setting them up for approval addiction.
So, how do we validate our children?
Love your children (unconditionally)
Our love as a parent is not a reward; it should be a constant part of our children’s lives. This is not to say we should not discipline children when they err. We should discipline them of course, but discipline can be done in love. Don’t isolate love from discipline. Love should not be given as a reward for good behavior. Love them for who they are, not what they do.
Look for the good
Be on the lookout for the good to celebrate in your children. Be as quick to spot the good they do, as you are to spot the wrong they do. Do not let them become desperate to show you how good they are before you compliment them. They don’t have to work so hard to get you to notice the good they do.
Be willing to observe your children and learn the things that validate them. Children’s personalities differ, so do the things that validate them. It could be words, attention, gifts, e.t.c. Know what validates and boosts your child’s esteem and give attention to this.
It is our duty as parents to fortify our children’s self-worth, so that they don’t spend their lives seeking validation in all the wrong places for the wrong reasons.
Let’s show them how valuable and significant they are.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Goldenkb